I have often heard of how moody pregnant women are! I think everyone has heard of
how moody they are so it’s not just me I am sure. Their hormones as they create life within them are all over the place and that’s natures plan I suppose. If you lose your temper and snap at them you are seen not to be understanding and a bully. As the husband you have to suck it in and smile through the tantrums. That’s how it is and that’s how I was right now, smiling through this. I had a problem, I did not have one tantrum or ego to deal with I had two.
“Londiwe come on you are being unfair, we need to talk!”
Naledi said but her sister wife ignored her completely! She looked at me as though imploring me to do something but I was not going to because I knew what happens next fro here! It was going to lead to a fight and a fight I will not win.
“I am going to bath!”
I told them and I left the room. By t the time I got back I hoped they would have spoken to each other and I did not have to intervene.
“You need to be tougher!”
I told myself over and over again. I had watched that polygamy show a few times and you can’t be a weak man if you are going to have two wives. .
“Londiwe, Naledi has something to tell you!”
I told her as soon as I walked in.
“Vusi I said…”
She started to speak but I raised my hand to silence her,
“I said listen. I would never do things to harm so when I say listen you listen. Don’t talk back because I don’t talk back to you!”
I told her sternly. I was not rude I was stern.
“Naledi, tell her your idea!”
I told her.
“Wow where was this side all along…”
“Naledi no gloating nor praising. Tell her what you said and that’s it!”
I told her too stopping her from acting like she had been victorious or something.
“Ok then geez, I was telling Vusi that I have a house in Ebony Park. It is not the biggest but it is nice and cozy. We can all move in there together so that we can raise money for either a bigger house or for the kids!”
She said smiling.
“This flat is fully paid for why would we want to do that?”
Londiwe asked her blankly.
“My apartment is being paid for by my father and he will finish paying for it. I am going to put a tenant in it and it can make up to 15k a month in rental alone. If this one is fully paid for as you said then it can bring in a good 8k a month. That’s 22k a month give or take!”
She said and Londiwe said sharply,
Of which we were both stumped,
“15 plus 8 is 23 I was just correcting you!”
She said when she saw that neither of us had gotten it!
“Oh yes sorry yes 23 but the point is, right now Mr. Man here is not working, you are starting your new job meaning I am the only one who is stable. We have a nest egg that will help us going forward!”
She said to us. The more she spoke the more it made sense.
“Ebony Park is not the safest though. People there will rob you of a tractor if they can. I don’t think I would feel safe there!”
“It is definitely not a place I would be comfortable raising kids!”
She advised me. It is easy to shout at her for not seeing the bigger picture but the South Africa we have built is genuinely not safe. If anything its dangerous and coming home alive everyday is actually an achievement.
“No I would not be comfortable raising kids there either but the point is we have 7 months worth of raising money and we don’t know how long Vusi will be out of the job for. 140k is what we will raise. It is not a lot of money but it is a good start. I actually think that if we open a company and the deposits are put into that company with all three of us as equal partners it would make more sense!”
Londiwe asked. I don’t know if she was trying to be annoying or genuinely unaware but oh well I answered,
“A company is a person on its own. If it shows a steady income the company will be able to apply for a bond for its own property. Picture a scenario where from month three the company has say 60k. We then make the company pay one of us a salary of 10k a month. The company will reflect that it has excess funds of 12k a month which can be used to bond a house of up to R1 200 000. Don’t forget that we will have other incomes coming of which if we can contribute another rental between the three of us of at least 5k it will count as excess income meaning that 12k becomes 17k and so on!”
I told Londiwe who just stared blankly at me.
“I have no idea what you have just said but thank you!”
She said. She was actually so annoying right because she is the one who had asked for the explanation and I had given it. Now she was acting as though our information was bothering her.
“Vusi has a point! We can buy a house yes or we can even open a business something that will generate better income for us. Londiwe all I want is for my baby and your baby to be safe healthy and live the best life possible! I am doing this for us!”
Naledi pleaded with her.
“Can I think about it? It is all too much to take because you two have had time to think about it!”
She said. I could not see what there was to think about but I was not going to make the situation worse. Londiwe stood up and kissed me on the cheek!
“I am going to bath and Naledi will you help me with supper please when I come back!”
It was late already and I could see that Naledi was about to decline but I stopped her with my finger.
She said. You know how these yuppies have specific times they eat at home yet take her to a restaurant at midnight and she will eat.
“I don’t get what we are saying wrong! This is a good thing we are proposing!”
Naledi vented her frustrations at me. She was right it was a good thing but as people we are not wired alike.
Her phone rang.
“Dad it’s late I said I am not coming!”
She said to him. I don’t know what he said to her for she responded,
“Well you are out of luck then because I am not inside, I am at Vusi’s place!”
She told him and again he responded something I did not hear.
“No you can’t come here! I am coming then!”
“Vusi I have to go. Please tell Londiwe I will be back. My father is at my place acting all weird!”
She told me as she took her things to leave. I walked her out and came back as Londiwe came out of the shower.
“I don’t think you understand. Two women in each other’s space we will kill each other. It will ruin the relationships. There is a reason why in isthembu every wife has their own house! Hell even men with mistresses the mistress has her own house. You want to squash us in one tiny space like pigs are you mad?”
She asked me. The irony was she was not being furious she was genuine.
“Londiwe I hear your point but we need the money. When these babies are born what are we going to feed them with?”
I asked her.
“You are part of that tender are you not? Is it not supposed to bring millions? You risked everything for it so now go get paid!”
She said angrily.
“I am talking of a plan B!”
I said raising my hands in frustration.
“So us moving out was your plan A? Why is it when the madam speaks you listen to her faster than you listen to me? Do you think she is better than me?”
She asked me.
“Here we go again?”
I said out loud.
“Here we go again what?”
“You act insecure around her then you turn it around on me! She had a good suggestion that benefits all of us!”
I told her.
“So me saying that place is not safe for our children is a bad suggestion?”
She asked me and she got me stumped.
“Of course not I did not mean it like that!”
I defended myself.
“Yes you did because all you are seeing is money! What kind of a man wants to move into his wife’s house Vusi? Where is your pride?”
She asked me furiously.
“Honestly Londiwe this thing of being man of the house is getting old. Nowadays we have women that think independently and reason logically. I have two babies coming and I have no job. Do you think that’s what I want for us?”
I asked her.
“If you knew you couldn’t handle two kids from two different women you should have kept it in your pants! I don’t have time for you to throw a pity party for yourself, be a man and go find a job!”
She said angrily. I often wonder if the roles were turned and women were the ones who always had the jobs, with their emotions and temper how life would be like.
“I am doing that but until then we have to think outside the box Londiwe!”
I said trying to calm her down.
“What box? You put us in this box in the first place you idiot!”
She said. I heard the insult but I was not going to respond to it.
“I don’t know if this tender will benefit us at all and frankly I don’t want to end up in jail because of that man. I would rather walk away unscathed because I want our kids to have a father who is actually in their lives!”
I told her.
“Let me get this straight, you lost your job because of this tender and now you want to walk away from it because you are scared?”
She asked me throwing up her hands incredulously!
“Dear God how did end up marrying a woman? How did I end up with a wimp, a dickless man who…”
Lord forgive me but the next thing I had was a loud
And my hand was vibrating.
I had slapped Londiwe.
I hit a woman!
************The End ***************
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)
I hope the blog is still running because I notice that you don’t post anymore. I will send my letter with the hope that it is. I am a 29 year old man and I started dating my girlfriend 3 years ago. I have always been a fitness person and me ending up dating her actually happened by chance. When I met her she “overweight” and was a size 36\38 on a shortish frame. She had extremely low self esteem and used to hide herself away from the world. When I first hit on her she thought I was making a joke meant to embarrass her. She refused me for about three months before eventually she said yes. I never pushed her to lose weight but because of my routine she started to ask me to go with her for jogs. As I was already advanced I had to sacrifice my routine to accommodate her. She could barely walk a long distance but I took her from that stage to where she was jogging and last year in August we did our 10km run together. She was now a size 32\34. All was nice until people who had always ignored her started realizing how beautiful she was with the weight gone. I am not talking strangers but people who had always been in her circle. They started telling her that she can do better than me and it got to her. I love this girl so much through thick and thin if that makes sense but now she is the girl in the short skirts and dresses flirting with everyone. I tried speaking to her once and she told me that now that she has found herself she has to explore her potential. She then laughed and said she was joking. Who says such things?
I am on the verge of losing my girl and I don’t know what to do. Can anyone please help me with a solution if there is any?