Memoirs – Chapter One

Posted on Posted in Memoirs of a Tired Black Man

I was not sorry when my wife cheated! In fact she did me a favour and gave me an excuse to live my life. I did not divorce her either. What for? Only a fool divorces in this economy! Its bloody expensive and you stand to lose more than you even thought you had to start with. Yes, I was angry, very in fact!!! She slept outside that night and went back to her family home for a month. She tried to say I was cheating too but when I asked her to prove it she did not have a shred of evidence. It gave me justifications and something to hold over her head. I was already cheating in any case, once with her first cousin even but that is not what this is about. Women are so quick to send each other these little texts on what a real man should do when not one day have they ever carried a dick between their legs, paid lobola nor have to make sure that they keep the house financially stable when they are married. Doing the budget on my salary at the end of the month will never equate to the work I put in every day to take of you. As a reward you eat more and more and get fat then expect me to tell you that baby you still look as good as you did when I first met you. Really! You complain, you nag and remind me how much you are taking care of my children like they are not yours as well. Do I think its hard work to raise kids? Yes, of course and I respect that but my contributions make it easier whether you care to admit it or not. Forever gossiping about me with your mother and sisters is not the same as having someone to feed you. You a housewife yet we still have a nanny at home! If she wasn’t that old I would probably sleep with her too because you can hardly wipe your ass the way you are lazy! You only have energy to go to church. The sex is dead and you just lie there making it a chore and I even feel guilty bringing it up. Anyway I am getting excited let me start from the beginning…

Its not a secret that the more success you have as a man the more women you attract. I don’t know if its because you bath better now since you the money to afford better soap than sunlight or if its because you have more confidence when you have money? Confidence is key I really don’t know because my looks never changed that much. I have always been just a bit below average looking depending on what angle you look at me from and before you laugh probably more good looking than half of your partners. Ok, I am just kidding. I didn’t grow up rich, Mdantsane really isn’t known for how rich the people are so no surprises there. I went to Mzomhle High School. I got lucky enough to get financial aid to go to the University of Cape Town where I studied law.

I am going to be honest, dating was not the easiest things because in high school there is always that group of girls that all the guys want. That’s the group that dates either the older guys or richer guys. The rest, well, they are the rest. University where I come from changes everything. For someone like me being at UCT meant that I became the top of the food chain without even trying to. All those girls that never wanted me noted my potential and made a conscious effort to befriend me and date me. Its funny really when I think about it. Our girls are on some other level. In her mind is the fact that if my man is doing engineering, medicine, bcom or any other degree worth mentioning he is an investment. Worst case scenario he will get me pregnant and even if he dumps me afterwards, with his worth he will pay a lot of maintenance money meaning I am set for life. This is why per capita there is no South African tribe that has a higher concentration of men paying maintenance than us. The girl I never got in high school, her name was Asthandile. She claimed its because I never spoke to her in high school because she would have spoken to me but whom is she kidding. Guys would beat you up just for looking at her. First semester holiday when I got home she sent her little brother to ask me for my numbers. That’s how my value rose just by going to university and its very significant in my story because around here Walter Sisulu University is an achievement.

To say I loved her is an understatement. She was everything I ever dreamed of in high school. Her sending her little brother that day was a game changer in my social status. Even the guys that sat at the corner in my neighbourhood, most are still sitting there to be honest started giving me respect. One day I will be able to buy them booze or cigarettes andithi since clearly they were going to grow old at that corner. Everyone invests in you even the losers. Dating her was like a reflector vest highlighting that he has arrived.

Needless to say one day I would eventually marry her making it the worst decision I ever made. Marriage for most men is pressured on you because in all honesty its a noose that marks the beginning of the end. A wife just has a way of sucking the energy out of you. You can’t exactly tell her that or women that but when men sit around as men to have drinks (that’s if she even allows you too) they ALL complain. Its very hard to find a man who cheated on his wife who was ever truly sorry that he did it. Its as simple as that to us. Women often try complicate us men and think that we should think like them. Problem is, if we did then we would be the ones saying ‘yes I will marry you” as opposed to the other way round. I know women want to hear that its 50\50 all the way but whom are they kidding because in every forum they are in be it relationship or work it never truly is.

Goodness I have gone ahead of myself. My name is Mxolisi Sibani and I have been married for eight years now. Two of those years were magical I won’t lie but the day we decided on children meant the next six years have been torture. I don’t even believe that one of the kids is mine but rocking the boat would just make matters worse.

I am grateful though, I have a warm plate, little conversation and sex when I want it because she knows that without sex she might as well move out permanently. That’s not to say I have been faithful. Eish, I still have to get to how Khanyi and I became close.

Oh, Khanyi is my wife’s best friend and the greatest shag I have ever had. They are so close that when I fight with my wife she goes to her place to sleep over!

I guess I should start from the beginning and tell you why men cheat and women stay whether they know or not…

****THE END****

Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)


Why do you think your men cheat on you and guys if you have ever been cheated why do you think she did so?

Dear Friends

Welcome to my new blog. I hope we have as much fun, arguments, debates and controversies as we have had with Confessions of A Sugar Baby which I am afraid needs a break and to breathe a little. The underlying theme in this blog is why men cheat, how they do it, how they justify it and how they often lose more than they gain. This story will be from a male perspective (finally lol)

Thank You

Mike Maphoto

315 thoughts on “Memoirs – Chapter One

  1. I would really like to know “why men cheat and women stay whether they know or not…”

    This should be a great read. Thanks Mike

  2. this is quite an interesting read, thanks Mikey πŸ™‚
    A2Q I wish I knew why my man cheated and I wish I knew why I stayed after that, as men don’t seem to be remorseful after doing so and don’t know the damage they’ve caused you and how scarring it is, and that their infidelity stays with you

  3. Waaao, this is going to be amazing I can feel it. Well, man cheat because they always want more. Its in their DNA to always have more than they can handle. In most cases, it doesnt mean they dont love their wives! Guys, cheating is a reality. I am a man, and i dont cheat!

  4. Owwww wow!! Iv been cheated on and have cheated. Its a mind game really. I will respect anyone who comes up with an answer on why we cheat.

    I’m a woman in my mid 30’s and I have lost interest in marriage and any kind of serious commitment, Iv been through so much already in my life, that when I decide to settle down it will be in my oldish age (40’s) and when I’m content to having done “it all”…

    However not to dampen your spirits – I like this story – from a guy’s perspective… give it to us GUYS..Let’s hear your side of the story..

  5. Haha this seems interesting!! If I was talking to Mxolisi face to face I’m sure I would have given him a piece of my mind. Q&A- I think ts coz we neglect them, we don’t pay much attention to em like we did in the beginning of a relationship. Also the way we handle ourselves forget that we have to look good for him, instead of letting go of our bodies, we get too comfortable n another reason is because of lust!

  6. OMG I think I’m going to love this story. I personally believe that people cheat for selfish reasons nje if ur not happy try to find a solution if it doesn’t work out then leave.

  7. I like it mike and please don’t forget about missteps

    A2Q – he cheated on me and when I found out and ask him he said since I have started working I had changed and became bossy and I don’t respect him .of which I disagree he was just being insecure and didn’t want to face the challenge of having a GF that works and earn more

  8. Wow anoda excellent piece of work Mike…keep it up…u definately an amazing writing…just would like to know how long a break we gnna hve from DOAZG or Confessions….

  9. Wooow wooow my first comment on this blog n i have read all da boooks temet i must say yo writing skills r amazing . Truli inspired as some of the stories i relate with n some r an eye opener

  10. I am out on business in Cape Town or Gaborone for two or three weeks, maybe England or the States for a month. I get that sexual drive, what should I do? Remember it will not go away until it is taken care of, right? My wife/husband is in Johannesburg thousands of kilometres away. I “hold myself?” No I get into an arrangement with someone of the opposite sex, use protection and get it over and done with and by the time I get home I am hungry for my partner again. We have the greatest sex ever. Is that cheating? If I had masturbated instead where would the difference be? The fact is, I had some kind of sex without him/her!

    1. masturbate please Frank that way you wnt hurt any1 and u will have the relief u want those minutes u spend puffing and sweating with another person can damage ones soul for the rest of their life. dnt use baby oil and hands

  11. No offence but we waited for a new chapter on Confessions yesterday and to our disappointment nothing was posted. Now it’s a new book which we’re not even sure you’ll finish or just abandon like Misteps. We know it’s your blog but have some respect for your fans. Do not get us hooked on something if you have no intention of finishing. Just a concerned person expressing my feelings. Use it don’t use it…

  12. Wow mike another book alredy!!! I think the reason we cheat is temptations, not making efforts and loss of interest plus lust

    1. Confessions has been awesome but the story was getting stale. Nelisa will be back dont worry. A few people realized that in the last chapter that she was saying her goodbyes. Her mother leaving was a big tell tail

  13. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW ayi no got 2 gv credit wen its due ur beyond good!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m already loving ths blog cnt w8 to read more nd get insight on why men cheat!!!!!

    Azishe ke!!!!!

  14. Can’t wait to here more. Marriage is not as easy as it looks, but that’s life fr us. See wat Mxolisi has got fr us
    A2Q: he was faithful n honest until his friends, collegues n family told him “udlisiwe” that’s y he started cheating that he wants to prove a point! Cos in their eyes he was too innocent that in a way that seems impossible to be “clean” frm ukudliswa lol. I cheated as a revenge!

  15. Wow! Mike thank you, from a man’s perspective I’m hoping this is gonna be an answer to what we always asks ourselves en view men as women. I’m looking forward to the nxt chapters, love it!

  16. Wow , da truth stings a bit bt taugh love is what we sumtyms need , lol literally a slap in da right direction , great read indeed.
    To answer ur question ,I think men cheat bcos 1 they bored ,as women we jus stop putn in da effort, 2 they cheat out of curiosity. He wnders wat having sex wit da girl nxt door wld b lik, 3 they cheat to regain their manhood , dominance , at sum point as da wife or gf u stop treatn hm lik a king n jus treat him lik a kid evn yell at him lik 1 too, n da gal nxt door makes him feel lik his da man!

  17. Good morning Mr Mike oh how i wish I could shake your hand and sit with you and share my views with you on all the four books starting from DOAZ,Confessions,Miss steps and this one aswell!! I have so many personal experiences and even from the close people I live with! Big up to you!!

  18. Thank you so much mike! I gotta say am looking forward to this really. Maybe the questions we have on why people cheat will be answered! Big_up

  19. WOW Mike! This is really interesting. I am looking forward to reading it. My baby daddy/fiance cheated on me late last year n to this day I still don’t understand why. I am always there for him, I cook, do his laundry, he’s actually my second baby.

    1. a person does not need a reason to cheat dear, you can even go to the moon for him but if he wants to cheat, he will and chances are, he will do it again so it’s up to you ukuthi uzomela yini ukuba nendoda e cheatayo ibanjwe, for the rest of your life.

  20. Wooooow an outstanding piece of work I must cy, well done agan good old Mike, I’m intrigued already! Day made
    Well I’m 21 yrs old n hv bin d8ng ths man of mine 4 7yrs nw! He has cheated and I stayd! The thing is that I understood why he Cheated, his reasons were that I have too much pride, u c when u’re beautiful and knw it, u expect ur man 2 bow down n such ur ass as it sims like u r doing him a favor!!! I 4 1, dnt knw hw to humble my self and apologies sincerely wen I’m wrong, which leaves him 2 try n work thngs out as if he’s in ths r’shp alone n he has told m that a thousand times bt I cnt sim 2 change! I disrespect him during an argument which he has neva done 2 hm, solely because I knw h loves me so mch n will neva leave me nomatter wat, I got way too comfortable and thght I ws irreplaceable so he found himself some1 who treated him wit the respect he deserved and gave him all the attention he needed so that he ws able 2 cope wit my bad attitude and Pride of which I understood as he told me in many cases n I never changed! I cnt even compromise, its either my way or the high way hence Y I knw i will alwyz look pretty in pictures of other ppl’s weddings n not mine if I dnt change this behavior! I admit! Men cheat bcoz we women to thnk we’re doing them a favor, nt realising there are many grls waiting 2 grab the opportunity we hv by both hands… Sorry 4 the long novel to those who h8 reading

    1. Eish I think me and you have the same father. Mina I blame my father for treating me like a princess, yazi that man ruined and spoilt me, now I have such a huge head its not even funny. Even now he still says Im educated and come from a good family so I must act accordingly. Now that bastard is busy chasing other b….. (after 4years of doing everything for him), and I really dnt know what to do, feel like packing my bags and hitting the road and go back to my Daddy,

      1. i feel for you Noz, I also worship my dad, he is my king afterall but the reality of the situation is, he won’t be around forever, each day that i grow, he ages and there are some things, valuable and priceless things, that a father just cannot give to a daughter…

    2. you know the root of your problem, get help even if it means seeing a professional, so be it ngoba if you continue kanje, you will end up alone, a side-chick forever, a friend with benefits, or someones sex machine nje qha. the power to change is within you.

      1. duuuuude!!! as i’m busy reading this i was thinking “she is telling my story” i’m also a beautiful. think Dineo from Generations, body beauty and brains. i wasn’t spoiled by my dad, no such luck. but i also can’t stop doing the very things that irritate him. and i also don’t mind him cheating cos i understand that i’m very difficult and i think i can get away with it cos of my looks. even my friends have come to love n accept me as i am. i can’t help it.

        this was my mentality in high school. if i got below 60% in a test,id say to myself “i have my looks to fall back on” and life would be all warm n colourful n lovely again.

  21. Mike πŸ™ You started Misteps and left it hanging. Now this one? Come on, Diary of A Sugarbaby needs no break. The first 2 books have become such a great part of our lives – I can’t work properly unless I have received my daily dose. We need consistency here please tu. I hope this book will continue then.

  22. Hi Mike, this new book looks interesting and I would love to read more of it. But I am not really happy about the different books that are all interesting by the way, yet to write them then you stop. For instance missteps of a young wife, you wrote a few chapters then you stopped. I love your work but please also consider what I am saying. Thanks

  23. Mmmm…. Good job Mike. It feels like we gonna be in tears most of the time, but bring it on so we can learn more about the guys.

    Big up Mike πŸ™‚

  24. I have been cheated on, it still hurts like hell because I felt no remorse from him and what hurts more is that this husband of mine is the first and only man I ever slept with. I sometimes think I hate him and resent him so much, I dont know why I’m still in the marriage but I will never love or trust him again.

  25. Nice one finally u representing my man now I can comment. A&Q its not rocket science we cheat cause we get bored of the same cookie everyday. Nawe angeke udle ikhabishi everyday, we cheat for fun its a man thing and we cheat because we can okay its pure greed we’ve got this need that we can seem to satisfy. U can cheat on me I will forgive u and cheat twice, u would probably catch me with one of them hoes but the truth is I’ve got plenty I can go all day!

  26. Wow finally The male species gets to have their say….

    I think they cheat cos they need other validation besides the wife(they have already conquered that) that they really have made it,
    Its funny how they profess their disrespect for the Female species but all that they do if for females, to impress them, to conquer them,

  27. Im 23,pregnant and engaged to a wonderful,decent,loving man who i wudv have never suspected of cheating until he recently cheated on me with someone we work stil hurt by the whole thing and such topics bring it all back,im trying to forget it nd get over it as i thnk iv already 4given him for it but im scared he might do it again,i trusted him with my life but now i cnt put it past him,dis book might just be the answer to all the questions i might have on y he did it and what might keep him from doing it again. Thnx a lot mike,u r God sent and im really anxious lol please post 2 chapters a day

  28. K I’m kinda sad dat I won’t b hearing frm Nelisa 4 quite sum time bt I think imma love this. Keep it up Mike n yes u FINALLY writting sumthing frm a males perspective πŸ™‚

  29. wow im loving it!!! Excited!! Those who are complaining about a break from confessions, give the man a break hle, maybe he needs a break from the book as well, if he indeed feels like that, and you force him to continue, you will be complaining again that you are not feeling the book, the chapters are too short, he forgot to tell us about how Jack’s wife feels …etc

    That you why men cheat, we woman are nagging and we complain a looooot!! sometimes you just have to let things be….

  30. Must admit i will miss Nelisa and Jack but still that dont mean i will not enjoy this new book, infact im looking forward to it coz ndijongile nje its a great read… Imnandi shame wethu Mike keep the chapters coming…
    #team read mike blogs πŸ™‚

  31. Finally something from a man’s perspective!! I still believe ther are men who dnt cheat. @ Frank u r obviously dumb to think that sleeping with sum1 nd masturbating is the same thing, shame u had a blonde moment ther

    1. Look at the result from the need! Is it not the same? I knew somebody would say something along those lines but Yes, I just wanted to throw a spanner in the works and what you don’t know won’t hurt you, what do you say?

  32. Honestly now mike its a great read yes mara y do u like writing n droping off writing in the middle just like miss steps of a young wife now confessions of a sugar babe ae brother when u write something finish it off not ayoba shame

  33. Yhooooo Mike waze wandenza,I will never hear the end to this….being Khanyi from Mdantsane my friends will have a field day…..thanks for the chapter though good read!!!!

  34. Looking forward to hear the ‘justifications’ lol, Re – Confessions…. at least we got to know how N got to be so nasty and evil. Thank you Mike knowing how talented you are I know I’m going to enjoy it.

  35. wow , mike this is amazing and i’m sure you have your readers addicted to your blog . if we had a say on how long to wait before the next chapter it would be a maximum of 24 hours.

    thank you mikey

  36. Okay mike I love ur blog so much but now I’m a bit confused cause there is still misstep of young marriage women u left us hanging there,n another thing can’t u answer our comments or is there a way we can use to ask u questions. Thanks for another interesting book

  37. Thanx Mike for the new addition. I think it will help a lot. A2Q: I think people have their reasons why they cheat. I for one have always been faithful, I cleaned cooked, respected my man and didn’t care that I earned more than him or that I had guys chasing me everywhere I went. But all the guys I,ve been with always cheated and I never got the reason why. None of them seemed tyo say. So I decided I’m not gonna stick to one man like I used to. Y shud I b faithfull when he’s gonna cheat anyway, but what I can say is, cheating as a woman is difficult as u risk losing respect from ur comunity and men in general. I cheat because I don’t want to get heart broken shud anyone between the two cheat on me.

  38. Wow Mike you are really out doing, out shining every other fake blogger out there with fake diaries. I cannot wait for this read to get even more juicier. I can feel it in my bones that we are all going to love this. Yeyyyyyyyy

  39. It’s actually quite amazing to see the comments of some of the ladies here, how they don’t even think twice before blaming themselves for their man’s infidelity. How they actually decrease their worth and ish like that. It’s sad really. Then you see some of the guy’s comments –> “we cheat cause we get bored of the same cookie everyday”. Obviously a guy will lie when he gets caught and blame u or whatever but what bothers me is that the ladies actually accept the damn blame. When he cheats it’s sometimes not even about you!!!! Bayasho nabo sometimes it’s just greed nje. A wife will cook, clean, give him the best the best wife ever and he will still cheat! Ladies u really should get over blaming yourselves. Stand your ground. Know your worth and know that there are men la ngaphandle who actually don’t need to cheat to show that they are a “real” man.

  40. Thanks Mike! Looking forward to this story.

    Why are people complaining about Mike abandoning Missteps? This is just Missteps with a male protagonist.

  41. yoooh Mike Im going to enjoy reading this blog…its a pity it came after me and my b.f broke up because he cheated and I dumped his ass. I don’t regret dumping him though its the best decision ive ever made I jus wish I knew why exactly he had cheated coz he never even told me where I went wrong.

  42. Mike yesterday uthe u’ll post 2 blogs neh

    n u cant stop n go de blogs just nje we need closure hle

    well dis memoirs sm intresting i hope ayipheleli endleleni like de miss steps of de young wife!!


  43. Wow, m so happy dat u r doing an interesting book, from a males perspective. I am going 2 luv this! Thank u Mike!

    I didn’t know there are lots of people who were saddned, abt Missteps! We still want it.

  44. This my first comment, Mike I salute u, ngomsenzi omuhle keeping us inspired. Ow Thanx alot it ws abt time we spoke abt y men cheat. M realy looking forward to it.

  45. So inlove with this too,my Hometown Mdantsane, my Old School Mzomhle(Mzogrand), then I will really understand why these Xhosa men cheat.

  46. Ay ay Mike mara? U ll end it lyk u did with misteps! I would be best if u focus on Confession and a zulugirl goes 2 JHB. Its a gud thing 2 have many, but not ending them without the closure…… U dont even bother on telling us what happened 2 missteps… Sad 4 lyf.

  47. I been cheated on and got back with that person a few times and i fell outta love and i kinda feel bad abt it coz i dragged the person along and ddnt know how to tell them straight that i dnt love em as for now ke single and it sucks mxmmm…Ok now lemme read my new fix πŸ™‚

  48. Love love the new book. Great job Mike. A2Q- men cheat coz they can. It’s never really that their partners or wives are wrong, those accusations are usually to justify their cheating.

  49. i know im gonna love tis one, and i hope all the readers that brushed miss steps off will give this one a chance.. so interesting already..

    A. i think the guy im with is either cheatin on his girlfriend with me or he’s just in it for the shag… wer very very close i know as much as i need to know about him and most times when he feels its necessary he’l inform me about hs where abouts and what he’l be up to on which days. he is the sweetest when wer together he cooks for me drys my hair after showers etc hes just enough for me when im with him WHEN WER TOGETHER, the sex is extraordinary from a-z,i know some say u cant have good sex all the time but we do. im complete with that guy, he says i make him happy, blah blah. but im also so lonely and bored, i have to always make the effort of callin smsin whatsappin, i swear he will ony call once a month thats if im lucky and hes forever in a different city. i like the guy a lot and our time together is forever fab but its just not enough and im so lonely and somethings just dont add up. i dont have anybody else its just him but i have a feeling he’s commited else where. so when it comes to why guys cheat i think the girl they are commited to 100% lacks something that the mistress (me) has, be it patience, sex, friendship, carisma etc the list is endless. its never cos he doesnt love the girl, thats my opinion. its complicated really…

    1. Starfish, what I would say to you is dump the man if you are looking a serious relationship. I was once in a similar situation like you. I was just coming from a bad break-up and I thought that the man was almost everything I wanted. We had so much fun together and we would randomly talk about our future together. I thought that I had finally found my prince.

      I always had my suspicions coz his behavior was more or less what you described now and he had told me that he was going through a divorce but like i said, there were always things that were just not right. I eventually gave up on him as painful as it was and guess what, a few months later i discover that his wife was pregnant and about to have a kid. He named his child the very same name he said we would name our 1st born.

      At that moment i felt so relieved that my intuition was right all along and that it was the best decision I could have made for myself . So if you are just looking for fun, stay and enjoy it but my guess is he is definitely cheating.

  50. Hi Mike
    Thank you again seems like a good book, BUT yesterday you said we will receive 2 chapters today because you were not able to load 1 izolo but im only seeing the new book and Mike dont you think it would be best to maybe finish 1 of the books you have started instead of always putting them on hold and then go back to them cos i feel like we not gone keep up at the end of the day. and by the time confessions make a come back we will b so hooked on ths book we wudnt have forgoten wat confessions was all about and it might be a bit broing.
    just a suggetion that maybe 1 of your books should come to a complete end phela into engapheli iyahlola.

    but looking forwad to this book πŸ™‚

    1. but Miss F, you could never have an ending to Confessions, as interesting than as a wife leaving her family behind because through her daughter, LIFE HAS JUST REPEAT ITSELF. if you were to visualize Chapter 99 of Confessions, YOU WILL KNOW ITS THE GREAT ENDING to it… that’s how i felt, when N was reading her mum’s sms after watching her walk out straight into a taxi…

  51. Nice one again Nkuluh

    Guys cheat just cause they can,if he gets caught oh well he will cross that bridge when he gets to it. I’m a Pastors wife and whenever we quirrel he goes to another room start inviting hot gals on fb or reconnect with his former gfs on I found out by going through his phone since he was on the phone till late and he would say he is ministering to ppl who need help. Its been 2months after finding out,I still dnt know what to do.its hard cause he would be saying to other men “God will judge you harshly if u commit udultery”. I do everything for hm,cook,wash,iron,suprise sex,buy gifts(and he dznt)the works and I’m sexy AF!!! So its not about the woman when they cheat,its just sumthing they love to do just cause they can.
    Will be reading more of this book, syabonga Nkuluh. Stay blessed!

  52. They cheat beacuse we as woman allow them in. you know he is married, he approaches you, you give in…so uyoqhubeka akwenze nabanye bakwenza coz siyabavumela. they are neva satisfied, whether we like it or not, out 100% maybe 5% doesnt cheat. we have to live with it.

  53. @ Starfish , but no one is perfect, EVERY man or woman lacks something or the other. So its no excuse to say he cheats coz the main girl lacks something, imagine if all women also started cheating because their man lacks something, the chaos ? In my view men cheat as an outlet for some frustrations they cannot communicate boldly with the partner, men are really insecure out there

  54. I think men cheat because they can and they can’t have just one, they always want more. Whenever shit hits the fan, they run like little boys to find comfort in yet another woman. Idiots can’t hide their shit and then excuse their bad behaviour and immaturity by placing blame on woman. If woman are capable of not cheating, its not that hard for men. They just little boys always wanting to be spoon fed. Please!

  55. Hi Mike, I have been reading your blog for a while now and all I have to say is WOW, u have an amazing insight and your style of writting is elegent and extremely relevant, I’m just amazed, I’m soo exited about your new baby(memoirs) u just keep setting the bar higher everytime u write…..keep up the good work

  56. Those that a complaining niyaphapha. Go write ur own blog nxa. I cheated cause I can and have little respect or worry about the outcome. IF YOU CHEAT DEEP DOWN U KNW U DNT VALUE THE PERSON ANYMORE, bt too scared of risking the thought of not being with them so I string them along until we actually stop caring or stop communicating.

  57. Wooooww, I like ds memoirs of a tired black guy. Hope it doesn’t get stuck like missteps. I think imma like it.

    A2Q men cheat because they get over excited by little things. They see a skirt passing and their blood starts boiling. I have been cheated on and till now I dnt understand why he cheated on m. We were seeing each other evry 2weeks, wed talk evryday, I’d support him and show him how special he is. Our sex life was great nd I was evrything a woman should be. But he still cheated, more than 1s nd apologisng evrytym I found out. Until I had enough and dumped his ass, it was not worth it. The pain was just too much, I ddnt deserve it. So my opinion is men cheat cz they take women for granted.

  58. hahhaaaaaaaa, we mike xhawula la . thank you can’t wait for the next chapter, most men cheat because they are just exercising their variety, make no mistake and think there’s something yellow about you, or think you fall short of something, they just want an obligation free cake, something they will have and not account for.

  59. Wow you are talented Mike! @ Thandekile I agree with u cheating it comes n goes its not necessarly to hurt someone or that u don’t love them enough.we are humans sometimes we do things without thinking we make mistakes that’s how we grow

  60. interesting! i like the fact that u always write about the things tha affect us in life…. Eish once cheated on u dnt clearly forgive it stays sumwhere inside of u & everytym u r reminded hatred just arises!

  61. This is too good. Confessions was indeed getting stale and I believe that a good writer should always leave us with an element of suspense.

    I love this and please post 2 chapters per day, just on this story/blog. Please Mikey.

  62. wooow Mike I ove it already, I thnk these will help most of us women. like that part where we gain weight, nag and always complain

  63. Ndiyazibona ke apa. I married my childhood sweetheart and he cheated on me countless time because he had low self esteem issues and believed that the only way he had control or respect from his peers was if he was seen as a player, gambled away our money and always entertained every Tom, Dick, Harry and Shirley lol.

    The reality of our society is that when men cheat bayapavelwa and when women cheat they’re scorned

  64. Really really u r such a blessing Mr! At first I used 2 read 4 fun but now I hav learnt a lot 4rm dis blogs.Gud luck n all de best.I cant wait 2get de books.

  65. Great read

    My last boyfriend cheated on me. And he was Xhosa and before that I was never cheated on. This kinda opened some wound.

    Keen on finding out why men cheat

  66. Wow wow Mike very interesting,u never disappoint. Ha haaaaaa haaaaaaaa haaaaaaa how I lyk q.a its sad to hear some gals believe are the reason y men cheat, NO men cheat for fun it has nothing to do with us women. Pls gals don’t take their justification personal.haaaaaaaaaa haaaaaaaaa haaaaaaaaaaaaa day made vhaa

  67. Hehehe I like the last part the story from a male perspective finally lol I just know its going to be educational and informative

  68. U didnt finish de 1st book u wrote abt cheatin wives nw u r writtin anada 1.1st sentence alrdy talkin abt cheatin wives.Lemme read wil take it frm de.

  69. Ooh my gosh, all these comments from ladies justifying why guys cheated on them and all the guys pointing out that its purely because of their weakness and inability to commit or be faithful is sooo sad!!!! It really makes me loose confidence in my fellow sisters and that’s why men will always cheat on them! If a man cheats on you it simply means that you are too much for him and he needs some kind of validation so he goes for that next girl who is needy either in the bedroom or relationship so my word is if he gets careless enough to get caught then he doesn’t deserve you njeee!! That’s the only reason why either side of the sexes will cheat…

    Mike I’m loving all your work babe, keep it up ne njunju! Please just give us a bit more of Misteps though dear, it really was interesting…

  70. mabakuyeke shame Mike, uyayenza into yakho! one bite and am already hooked. keep dem coming broer, u r such a star. love yoooooo…….

  71. In all honesty.. i don’t really mind, whichever blog I read or you write,. Your page has made reading fun. Enkosi bhuti.

    A: Men cheat because they can. Men cheat because we are more than our sexual organs. We are humans first, and as humans it is part of who we are to never be satisfied with what we have, to want more, to test the waters, to try new things. We are opportunists, we are go getters, we are explorers. We want to do the unexpected yet suspected, to eat he forbidden fruit to be people who do as they please governed by what society says is wrong but rebelling against it… The unfortunate part to society is that we use our sexual organs to do the aforementioned. Men cheat because they can, because into isemntwini, it is who they are. Are the men who do not cheat? Yes, maybe. Choice

  72. This is indeed a lovely surprise Mikey hope u dont up and leave it like Misteps
    i think men mostly cheat out of curiosity, however i believe that cheating would be less if we would all realise that people have the capacity to change hence we should be accomodating of people we claim to love and the changes we all go thru

  73. I think da reason we cheat is because we r human & some of us we can control ourselves & abanye bethu abakwazi. Humans make mistakes & learn sumthing from them. I think most of men cheat cos indlela abakhuliswa ngayo. Being isoka is acceptable in our society. Indlela ekukhuliswa ngayo a gal & a boy in our homes akufani so dats y I think they think they can treat women anyhow. So cheating is 1 of da thingz dat they think they r entitled 2 as men

  74. love the book kodwa Mike why stop the others when you have a new release? I read all of the and I await for the next chapters its not fair. please these books should have new chapters updated daily.

  75. Mmmmm interesting,I’m gonna enjoy this one!

    A2Q:I think men cheats because they are never satisfied with one women even a man in a poligamous marriage cheats too. My husband cheated on me and I cheated back but the guy I was cheating with cheated on me as well and believe you me it hurts even more because that guy was supose to make me feel better and console me better yet we were supose to console each other but things turn out bad. I have learnt that cheating back is only gonna hurt you because you are vulnerable and the other guy will say and do anything and betrays you as well…ya men are trully the same!

  76. Thanx mike iam falling inlove alredi luking forward 2 da nxt chapter,a 2 q I think men cheat jst 4 da fun of it,its jst their nature its so hard 2 find a truthful and faithful men!!!

  77. Are we then saying that women cheat because men force them to, out of revenge? People please, both sexes cheat, you will be surprised if one were to do an honest research on the ratio of men/women that cheat what those results would be. I know of women that have cheated on honest men.

    1. Women cheat to validate the man who cheated on them. in other words they cheat to GET EVEN, they also cheat for no reason other than the fact that they know they can do it better than men, they also cheat because they settle for less than what thier worth (men whos interest starts and ends with thier look and their ass as oppose to men who will chase after their HEART for KEEPS)

      man cheat because of thier childhood upbringing that does not encourage expressing themselves emotionally, articulating what they think, how they feel and what they actually want in a stable relationship. so they go and express themselves sexually to another lost soul who is willing to accomodate that another lost souls. it has nothing to do with poor women taht you men blame for your infedilities. you were created as lost souls and wanderers just as us women were created as weak vessels. cause at the end of the day, its not what happened to you that is important, is how YOU RESPOND TO IT. and in honest fact you did not get involved with a body to an extent of marrying it, you got involved with a person with a personality, with a brain, with a character and the body and the face was just a CHERRY ON TOP….

  78. Halala… Now we go to Xhosas… I am tlng u re tlo kwa botse mo gona… My friends are from that area maybe they met this guy @ school so I will have 2 ask around 2 get more juicy details… Kwaaaaks!!!

  79. Mike Mike Mike! You never cease to Surprise us hle. Can’t wait to hear about these lessons of life cos wena o beya the Truth as it is :)Β» Hauweeeeeng!!!**

  80. Frank?! Wtf is wrong with you? Anyway I’ll keep doing all I can and more for my man!I hope he’s never cheated because Iv never in anyway!I love him too much! If he is I can’t think of any reason he would do that, if he does its because he wants to there isn’t any reason behind it!

    1. But I’m being honest or don’t you like the truth? You may not be a cheat yourself but there are plenty of women that are. I agree with Lira above and with Kabz and Sasha just below this, 100%! You see I’m just replying you decently without insulting you.

  81. Aow Mike…I’m in love alrdy!
    Men cheat bcoz we let them there is alwys dat 1 girl or 2 willing 2 do da deeds wit him,hey why not,sum women hv dis twisted little idea dat he will marry me,I jst need 2 get laid and pregnant wOoopy 4 u!dey try and change the man-we won’t change honey!he cldnt evn change whn his mum told him to!we let ourselfs go in a relationship while in the mean tym der dat 1 bloody sexy,ooh so gud looking friend who is jealous of u she wil sink her claws in2 ur man!men think wit deir 3rd leg,a brain only cums whn dey make money out of smthng,dey cheat coz dey can so what she is gonna 4giv him coz her biological clock is ticking!

  82. Go Xhosa’s! Bad-ass mofos! Love my people!! Q&A- People cheat because they want to-men and women. All the other bullsh*t about wanting more attention, respect whatever you have heard comes out at the fake apology when they get caught. Then u scramble and lie to ur partner and urself looking for justifications. Its a simple choice people commit ur genitals and heart to one person or not-we all have the capacity to resist temptation. And since we are on the subject not all men cheat-its not in their dna and if we as women keep buying that stale headline we will never come out of the dark ages honestly.its a cop-out…people cheat because they want to. Its about time people stop being so co-dependent, yes it hurts to be cheated on and blah blah blah but ur happiness and well being is ur own-this giving someone so much power you walk around saying sh*t like I will never trust again is pathetic-im sorry! You are not the first person to go thru such, pick urself up, get your self worth and pride back in place and stop letting some asswipe control ur future relationships. Now guys if you are going to cheat…here are a few options, grow some real balls not the sleezy sack u think makes u man and do her a common decency-leave her! And go f*ck every honey pot that’s cheap enough to spread ur legs for her. If you are not man enough for that…DON’T GET CAUGHT!!! The cheating doesn’t hurt…its the knowing that u cheated that hurts! And for crying out loud! Use a condom!!! Africa is a disease infested continent and we are soo behind the rest of the world because of such dumbness!!! Use a condom!!! Don’t go spreading thrush to people and making unwanted fatherless bitter babies that just repeat ur mistakes!!! Dark ages people! Dark ages!!! I really don’t mind cheating if that what floats ur boat I know it floats mine…and I do it because I want to and I’m an asshole and a coward *hides* I don’t want to break up with my man and hurt him…hahahha-bullsh*t I lie. I am hurting him. I’m a free spirit and being tied to one person is boring-girls just wanna have fun! No one person can meet ALL ur needs…so u mix it and spice things up! Hahahah! Sorry for the long hyprocritical essay people. And for the saints who are hurt by all these…go to covenant honey and pledge urself to celibacy or join the red cross or buy a cat…u can’t own a person…

  83. Oh Mike i definatley need some male perspective on ths1 hey,i hope afta ths blog i’l b able 2 undstnd y men cheat coz eish i’ve hd my fair share of heartbrks and up 2 ths day i dnt undstnd y he dd it.thnx Mike u’re a grt writer.

  84. Men wil neva eva hv enough. They cheat just bcos they can. U can be quiet he wil cheat on U, nagging he wil cheat too. Its like a game to them n they love it. Its not true women provoke them. Some wil even qoute abt Solomon in the bible. Ohhhho mnxm let them be kuzothiwani

  85. Mike this is bull you come up with new books that you do not even finish wat happened to missteps of a young wife nd now its this nd doazg is boring confession waz far much better and now you stopping

  86. Hi Mike
    Thanx for a wonderful book once again
    I think this book will help us understand why do men cheat cause for me there is never a real reason .that’s being really selfish and not thinking of other people’s feeling

  87. well in all onesty i thnk men cheat simply bcz as time goes by we as women find our comfort zone,so we no longer put mch effort into our rlationship to keep it fresh n interesting,so bcz of our own ignorance we start being paraniod n insecure thn th naggin n controlin freak comes out…haike bawo uyithumile ke ngelo hlobo indoda uba its abt tym u look els where…

  88. 1..we cheat just to prove that we still got it(ukushela , we still go game). I mean to prove that we are the MAN (this is Number one reason)
    2.. we cheat because partner is lousy in bed or she is not giving it the way i want it, or she underperforms or she is boring
    3.. we just can’t resist the temptations out there

  89. 1..we cheat just to prove that we still got it(ukushela , we still got game & hot sex). I mean to prove that we are the MAN (this is Number one reason)
    2.. we cheat because partner is lousy in bed or she is not giving it the way i want it, or she underperforms or she is boring
    3.. we just can’t resist the temptations out there

  90. A man is only as honest as his options. Options in this case being women willing to sleep with him.
    He cheats because he has options.

  91. comment 1: missteps was bad guys, he had to leave it, it had too many mistakes, stop giving him hell about it.

    comment 2: my friends would say we cheat because we’re animals and being monogamous is going against our very nature

    comment 3: I think we cheat because we’re insecure, either in our worth or ability to keep our partners happy or we already think we’re being cheated on and don’t want to be too invested

    comment 3: did I mention that I think that this might just be as good or better than DOAZG. thank you for the male perspective πŸ˜€

  92. Well, I don’t know why men cheat, my boyfriend is a maRried guy and has 3 kids, his wife is beautiful so I don’t knw what else he wants, he’s so nice, buys me stuff, takes me places and is genuinely in love with me. I have trained myself not to love him tho and that’s amazing coz he’s always dotting on me.

  93. I love the new blog,
    But my baby daddy’s name is Mxolisi, so I think is gonna be a little difficult but I will read the blog πŸ™‚
    we have twins and we broke up before I knew I was preg, the prob is I still love him and I think he has moved on and I also think he thinks he is a god’s gift to woman since he got his new job which is paying him well.

  94. #my opinion: people cheat because of greed and selfishness. women should stop taking de blame for all the choices(of cheating) their men make. no amount of excuses can mend the trust that one has broken because of cheating. If there’s anything lacking in a relationship it’s always better to sit down and talk then find ways of improving or working out whatever was lacking instead of running to de next available girl to shag with. cheating doesn’t close the void in that relationship!!!

  95. you have created something bigger than an average writer/reader and i know because of your passion for it, its going to be the greatest experience for us all… memoirs i strongly feel its going to affirm the reasons why i want to “marry for COMPANIONSHIP” in my late 50s… lets here it

    my studies are gonna be so much fun with this Memoirs on the side to relax to help me relax

  96. Wow Mike, there you go again rocking my world, LOL but I’m glad that you are now getting into a man’s head and heart… I hope his will make us (women) understand them more and make them get in touch with their emotional side! great read as always, Thanks Mr Maphoto. Loving the blog already…

  97. wow- its astounding how many women blame themselves for their men cheating!!!! like wtf? so you are too beautiful and therefore he now has a right to cheat on you? you nag him so now he has a right to cheat on you? come on now ladies, you cant allow him to cheat on you and let it slide because of something about you or your personality he doesnt like! He basically f***s up and he blames you for it???? why doesnt he just leave you then and find a girl with characteristics that he likes and/or can deal with. Cheating is just a sign of weakness, be it from a man or from a woman. remaining faithful is difficult, it takes a lot of work. Im not a man, so Lord knows why men cheat – It’s probably because they can…

  98. Yhuuu there goes mike again I jst wna marry dis guy weitsi he mkes u live insyd the stories u imagne urslf da crus I evn swear nd gt angry foreal coz I bliv wit my heart eish!!! Thankx again.mike

  99. Very interesting 1 Mike ! A2Q we as woman let men cheat coz some of us r very insecure nd we push our man 2 other woman nd y we stay because we scared 2 start all over again and trust !

  100. Yeah big up Mike u r * indeed! Thanks 2 my couz who introduced me 2 ur books! I enjoy reading dem al bt I jst feel dis one is a bomb! Nd it wl teach us a lot abt men wow!

  101. Ya’ll knew I’d drop by right….. Mike Maphoto you are a legend *bows*

    Your gift is remarkable and thank you for the male perspective lol, just dont break the guy code my guy.

    All the haters….. Bump the hate up…. we cant hear yu from the top you know.


    almost back.

  102. I appreciate this new blog. It’s very odd but I agree with your character. A marriage ought to be fun and fulfilling for both partners. And getting married shouldn’t be an accomplishment – it’s not something you should aspire for. It should be a natual transition not a way to gain status or respect. Men cheat, yes, but I find it selfish that the character didn’t communicate his needs/concerns to the partner. How is she to know that she is slacking?

  103. WOW! I love it. My jaw hung when I read the 1st section. Even my mom wants to read this one.
    Its great that a guy is writing it.
    Looking forward to reading your stuff everyday.

  104. Better late. Than never.loving this one .oh so this is the disdain that man hold us in????”you eat too much then ask me if you still look beautiful ‘eish harsh words.tho most weight gain is due to pregnancy*juss saying.

  105. Hi Mike. I didn’t want to write this in public but you haven’t answered my emails.

    I have ordered and paid for the diary of a zulu girl books (order no.36) on the 29th of May 2014 but I haven’t received or heard anything from the online store.

    Please update me on what’s going on.

    Thank you.

  106. Just started reading, found your blog by accident. i was looking for answers or rather some kind of advice about taking old habits into new relationships. its great to finally hear what a man has to say.

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