Growing Up Relevant

Growing Up – Chapter 58

I think the worst thing that could happen on your wedding day is losing a loved one. Imagine a day that was supposed to be joyful turn into a very painful day. This has actually happened to a guy from church. His father passed away a day before his wedding, they had no other choice but to cancel the wedding celebration. I mean how can one celebrate the union of marriage when they just lost an important part of their life? It’s impossible! Today was Thando’s wedding and we didn’t expect something like this to happen. After hearing the car crash, we all ran out to see how bad the crash was. As we were rushing outside, Thando was crying. We all assumed the worst, normally, accidents lead to death.

“Oh my god, this is all my fault, I shouldn’t have spoke to her like that. if anything happens to her, I will never forgive myself.” Thando said.

When we arrived outside we found a lot of people surrounding the car. We pushed past all the people and there she was…….perfectly fine, a bit shaken, but she was fine. She was reversing the car and accidently hit the wall, luckily no one got hurt. Thando quickly hugged her, and whispered “I am sorry”, to which Thandiwe didn’t respond, she just kept quiet.

We all went back to the house, because we were running out of time. When we got to the room, Thandiwe just sat down, not saying a word to anyone. We all noticed that she wasn’t getting ready for the wedding, so Thando said

“Thandiwe you must get ready sweetheart, we are already late.”

“Get ready for what? You said you don’t want me to be part of your wedding, so I a granting you your wish.”

Yoh that was totally unnecessary. Thando obviously didn’t mean all the things she said, she was speaking out of anger. I told Sihle that we must go to another room, so that we can give them time to solve their problems.

As soon as we got to the other room, some ladies we met the day before, they are relatives, asked us what was going on between Thando and Thandiwe. I wanted to tell them that it’s none of anyone’s business, merely because I was trying to avoid gossip. Unfortunately Sihle spoke before I could, and said

“Hai phela I think Thandiwe doesn’t want Thando to get married to Mlu. She has been asking her whether she is really to get married to Mlu, but I honestly don’t blame her because this Mlu………………..”

I tried to interrupt her by telling her that I want to fix her make-up, but one of the ladies said “Wait Hlengiwe, we are still talking to your friend and her make-up is perfectly fine. Sihle tell us about this Mlu guy.”

I gave Sihle the evil eye, but she didn’t pay any attention to me, she just continued with her gossip.

“When Thando was pregnant, Mlu cheated on her with a girl from church. So we don’t really like Mlu.”

I decided to leave the room for a while, when I got back they were still talking about Mlu and Thando. The ladies said Thando deserved a cheating man because she loved to act like a ‘miss goody-two-shoes’. They also spoke about how her mother always praised her and said she was a virgin, but the pregnancy completely shut her up.

Most Christian parents like to brag about their children and compare them to other kids. This then places the child on a high pedestal and people end up having high, unrealistic expectations. Then when the child makes a little mistake, people rejoice and rub your child’s mistake in your face.

Their gossiping went on for a very long time, I thought it would never end. Don’t get me wrong, I was tempted to join them, but because I’m going to be a Mam’mfundisi very soon, so I must learn to not participate in gossip. I was really getting bored, until we heard a voice shouting

“Hlengiwe where are you? We are leaving in 30 minutes.”

I opened the door, and told the person which room I was in.

“Ladies, we must finish up now because dad says we must leave in 30 minutes” Thandiwe said in a very cheerful manner. She was all dressed up, clearly she reconsidered her decision, and she was now going to be part of the wedding.

Sihle and I complimented her, because she really looked stunning. We all soon got dressed, and we really looked beautiful, especially me!

As soon as we were all ready Bab’Mfundisi, Thando’s dad, called all of us to the lounge for a short prayer. When we got there, Thando was sitting in the lounge, ohhh my she looked so beautiful! Her dress suited her body, the make-up and hair was on point, she looked like a queen! After praying, we all went to our cars and made our way to the church. When we arrived, we found the guests and the groom’s family waiting for us.

The whole family went in, followed by the bride’s maids, then the bride and her father. When they were walking in, it was very emotional, because Thando and her family had tears rolling down their eyes. The assisting Pastor at our church was officiating the wedding.

“Before we get started, I want to know if there is anyone against this union speak now or forever hold your peace.”

I believe this is a nerve-wrecking question for everyone who has a few skeletons in their closet. I could see how nervous Mlu looked, and I wondered if he had any skeletons in the closet that would be revealed today. I have never been to a wedding where someone speaks up and stops the wedding, it would be very interesting to see. Do people really stop weddings? What happens when a person shows up and claims that they are in a relationship with the bride/groom? Does the wedding stop? Please help me out people, tell me what happens when a person stops wedding proceedings. But this whole thing is evil, why would a person want to speak up about their affairs with the bride/groom on the wedding day? Why don’t they speak before the wedding day? Cruelty at it’s best.

After a few minutes of silence, with a few coughs here and there, the Pastor decided to continue with the exchanging of vows. The pastor told them to speak form their hearts

“I promised to love you, respect you and be the kind of wife you need. I will support you in everything you will do. I will always be there when you need someone to talk to. I promise to always be sensitive to your needs and I will submit to you as the head of our household. I will always pray with and for you. I will make sure that God remains the foundation and source of our love. ” Thando said with much ease. When she was done, everyone said “Ncoahhh!”

When it was time for Mlu to speak, he kept quiet for a while as though he was thinking about what to say, and then he said

“Uhm Thando, I uhm yoh ya I will try to be the husband that you expect me to be……I mean I will be the kind of husband that you need. I will be a good father and provider. I hope you will continue being the humble and loving person you are because if you change we are going to have a big problem!”

The difference between Mlu and Thando’s vows is that Thando’s vows sounded very sincere, and Mlu sounded like he was forced to say the vows. It was such a shame, but we tried hard to keep on smiling for Thando’s sake. I was not convinced that Mlu loved Thando the same way she loved him. After exchanging vows, they exchanged rings and kissed. When all that was done, the guests went to the conference centre, where the reception was to be held. Like any other normal wedding, we went to take pictures and the local theme park. I made a mental note to never take pictures at a theme park, it takes forever and there isn’t any privacy. When the photo session was done, we went to the conference centre.

When we arrived at the conference centre, the speeches began and we ate. It was time for the most disgusting speech of the day, the ‘cake speech’. I wonder why people feel the need to talk about the ‘cake’ and how the newly weds should ‘eat the cake’. This talk is very disturbing, especially because there are kids attending the wedding. The old women were busy laughing and nodding in agreement to everything that was being said about the cake.

When the cake speech was done, they asked one of the waitresses to bring a knife for the bride and groom to use for cutting the cake. The waitress came back, she looked very familiar, but she had shades and a cap on, which was very weird for a waitress.

She had the knife in her hand, and instead of giving Thando and Mlu the knife, the waitress went straight to the cake and starting cutting it up like a mad woman. Everything happened so fast, by the time it dawned to people that she must be stopped, she had already pushed the cake to the floor.


After she pushed the cake to the floor, some old women said

“ Oh Lord this marriage will not last.” I later asked them what they meant, they told me that when a wedding cake falls on the wedding day, it symbolises that the marriage will not last. Old people and their superstitions!

People ran after the crazy waitress, and when they got her, they too of her glasses and cap.

I don’t know why I was surprised to see her here.

This girl was crazier than I thought!

“I would rather die than watch the man I love get married to another woman. Mlu is mine, we belong together.” She said in a very scary manner.

20 thoughts on “Growing Up – Chapter 58

  1. I’m now finding this book very boring. We already know that the marriage with the Pastor will not last and Hlengiwe will just be in an abusive marriage I guess its a matter of will she stay or not. No sangoma’s needed to know that it will be a disaster and Hlengiwe will regret it.
    As for Mlu and his awkward vows??? We never really got a description of Mlu the only idea Khanyi gave us was that he was truly in love with the twin. Now the awkward vows, is it a personality thing or is he really not into the marriage anymore. These sudden unexplained changes are just argggggg

    1. I totally agree with you Tee. I honestly don’t enjoy reading about their relationship. For sone reason i wish she and Philani could fix things. Atleast he was not a MCP. That goodbye nje……

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