Growing Up Relevant

Growing Up – Chapter 56

The last thing anyone wants is to be called a bitch in public. Being involved in a fight that will be seen by the public is a problem because people who were rushing to go shopping will suddenly stand and watch the fight. In this day and age, people will even take videos of the brawl and post them on social networks for everyone to see. Imagine what would people say if they were to witness a beautiful young woman like me fighting and what would Apostle Bae’s church members say if they saw him involved in a fight. A fight would be bad for both of our image, him as an Apostle and for me as the future Apostle’s wife.

I didn’t know what to do or say when I saw Surprise walking towards me, fuming with anger and screaming at me.

“Surprise calm down, people are looking at you.” Apostle Bae said in an attempt to keep her from making a noise.

“Don’t tell me what to do wena fake Apostle. What kind of a pastor are you? You have messed with the wrong person, I am going to deal with you, you will wish we never crossed paths.” She screamed.

Apostle told her that she was embarrassing herself, to which she responded

“Oh I’m embarrassing myself? I wasn’t embarrassing myself when I was opening my legs for you whenever you requested me to? You made me believe that you loved me, I hate you. Hlengiwe how could you do this to me? I always thought you were my friend, but now you proved to me that you are a snake that was after my man all along.”

Her friend? I was never her friend, having a few conversations didn’t make us friends. That is one of the mistakes women make, they think that having a few conversations or going out together once or twice creates a strong friendship. Even if our men can be brothers or the best of friends that does not, in any way, make us friends.

“I never said I love you Surprise. I always told you that there is a woman that I love and you will have to move on once I am with her. I told you that I am engaged to Hlengiwe before I even proposed to her because I wanted to give you enough time to deal with it. Now stop irritating me and pull yourself together because I didn’t force you to have sex with me, and you also benefited financially with our arrangement. You don’t want me to get angry, you know what I’m capable of doing when I’m angry. Now leave me and my fiancé in peace.”

After he said that I saw that she looked very scared, so she just walked away. What did he mean when he said she knew what he was capable of when he is angry? I wonder what he meant because he obviously didn’t mean he was going to beat her up, my man is not the abusive type, plus he is a pastor, so he definitely meant something else.

After she walked away, we went to his car and drove to his house, when we got there I decided that I was going to sleep at home. Before I left my brother in-law called me to tell me that he found someone who wanted to buy my sister’s 2 cars, so I needed to bring the car to him as soon as I got the time.

“Why does your brother in-law want you to bring the car to him?” my fiancé asked, and I responded

“He wants to sell my sister’s cars so that he can get me a proper car.”

“Why is he buying you a car?” he asked, “if you want a car, why don’t you tell me Hlengiwe? I am your man, how will it make me look if I let another man buy you a car? Hai Hlengiwe please don’t make e angry.”

“Baby you are overreacting, he is not really buying me a car because the cars that he is selling belonged to my sister.”

He said “Hlengiwe please please listen to me. This man is the one that bought your sister the cars, so if he sells them and gives you the money, it is the same as him taking out money from his account and giving you the money. So you will call him and tell him that your man is going to buy you a car.”

“But baby, you are being unreasonable.” I said, to which he responded “I am the head of this relationship, you are my sub-ordinate so what I say, goes. We will not be discussing this any further.”

With that said, we dropped the subject and I went home. I had a problem with what he said. I have no problem with the man being the head of a family or relationship but I don’t think that I have to be his sub-ordinate just because I am a woman. In relationships, there shouldn’t be any inferior and superior person, there shouldn’t be a power struggle, but there should be love, equality and good communication. I hope what he said was just a silly mistake, I honestly didn’t want to be the type of woman who is married to a chauvinist. He has never before made me believe that he is a chauvinistic pig, so this had to be a mistake.

When I arrived home, I found Sihle with her man, they were rather lovey dovey. I hadn’t told her about my engagement, and since she was going to be my maid of honour, so I had to tell her before I told the others.

“Sihle, I need to talk to you.”

“Ahh Hlengi, can’t you tell me whatever you want to tell me right here in front of my man?” Sihle said.

I said “I can but I want to talk to you 1st before I tell Tshepo.”

We went back and forth but she didn’t budge, she was not determined to leave her man’s side so I decided to just tell her.

“Sihle I am engaged!”

She first said “Whaattt?” then she screamed her lungs out, congratulated me a thousand times then hugged me.

“Congratulation Hlengiwe,” Tshepo said, “I am so glad that Philani finally came to his senses and did the right thing. I am very happy for the both of you.”

Why is he assuming that it was Philani who proposed to me? Okay, I know that anyone would think my fiancé was Philani because they know that we were dating and they didn’t know anything about me and the Apostle. I still had a lot of explaining to do to a lot of people, especially my Mam’fundisi because she knew that I was dating Philani.

Sihle said “Yoh Hlengiwe finally that slow man of yours is catching up. We have to plan your wedding, yuuu Hlengi this is going to be the wedding of the year. I can’t wait to plan it, we need to make sure that it tops Thando’s wedding. My friend, our wedding will be the best. They will be talking about our wedding for the next 5 years.”

Hahahahah Sihle is calling my wedding, ‘our wedding’. But that is how it is, if your best friend is getting married, you are also getting married because you will be involved in the wedding preparations and your opinion is going to count. If it was her wedding I would also be too involved and it would become a part of me. This is the same with Thando’s wedding, because Thandiwe is the maid of honour, it also becomes her wedding. Speaking of Thando’s wedding, it was going to be taking place in 2 weeks time.

Tshepo laughed and said “Baby this is not your wedding, it’s Hlengiwe’s wedding. Don’t allow her to take over Hlengiwe!”

“Hai Tshepo, Sihle is my best friend so my wedding is her wedding. Guys but I am not engaged to Philani, I am engaged to Thulani Zungu.”

They both asked who Thulani is, and I told Sihle that it was the guy I was telling her about. Tshepo was very shocked but I told him all the bad things that Philani put me through, I made sure that I made him a villain. After I told him all about my relationship with Philani, and adding a bit of fabrication, he said he understands why I broke up with him but I was moving too quick in my new relationship. He said I should at least date him for a year and get to know him better before I get married to him because I was not sure of his character and he might change when times progresses.

Tshepo was making a lot of sense and honestly I don’t know what I would do if Apostle Bae changed a few years from now, but it was bit too late to reject his proposal now. But I doubt that he was going to change, I know his character he is a Powerful man of God who has a lot of love and care. But it is true that a lot of people change a few years after you have been with them, however, I know that my man would never change because he was led by the Power of the Holy Spirit.

While we were chilling, there was a knock on the door and it was Philani. I was not in the mood to see and defend my engagement to him. I was not happy to see him, but the sight of him gave me a bit of pain. He looked so weary, and his eyes were baggy, he looked like he had been crying. I wanted to give him a hug, and tell him that we were going to be okay. But I couldn’t say that because that would be lying. We would never be okay again, I was with Apostle Thulani now.

He came in and I asked him what he wanted at my house, to which he responded “I am here to fix things baby, we can’t allow someone to destroy what we have. I love you Hlengiwe and I know you love me too. Baby we were already building a life together, why are you letting him destroy it? This man will never love you the way I love you. If you are with him because he proposed to you and you want to get married, then Hlengiwe I am willing to get married to keep you happy. Marry me Hlengiwe Zulu.”

Philani is finally proposing to me, we all know how much I have always wanted this. What would you do if your 1st love proposed to you?

9 thoughts on “Growing Up – Chapter 56

  1. Hlengiwe is making a big mistake of her life…Apostol bae is bad news…she will regrets her decision 1 day

  2. They say you never appreciate what you have until it’s gone. That’s Philani for you and now he wants to get married because someone else proposed to you, not because he wants too. If i were you, i would leave both men coz they are bad news especially that Apostol Thulani. He will use and when he is done with you and drop you like a hot potato. He will kill you self-esteem amnd make sure you never have confident enough for yourself to know that you deserve better. Leave these men before it’s too late nana.

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