“A friend that gossips about other people to you gossips about you to them as well. They don’t help you grow and are always waiting for you to mess up so they can have the next juicy story to tell!” Mike Maphoto
There is nothing more disgusting than a man who cannot keep a secret, a man who cannot own up to his own faults and have the dignity to keep them to himself. What happens to what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas really? Azwindini was a fuck up and there is no other way to describe. I get it that if the sex was bad he should rat me out because bad sex is should be made one of the 7 deadly sins. However, I back this up for myself; the sex was so good I ended up in hospital. That’s how good it was so why go and sell us out like this. I was simply stunned by this sorry excuse of a man. What he did not know was that on this one I am big on, deny, deny, deny! If I was in the bible they should call me St Peter who denied Jesus even knowing that everyone saw him with Him.
I called her immediately.
“You are joking right?”
I asked her with disdain when she picked up the phone. I didn’t even give her a chance to speak the way I dropped that question so fast!
“I am not joking!”
She said. I think she had just found out because she was speaking more from a shocked perspective and not an angry. An angry one I am certain she will be shouting.
“What would make you even ask that?”
I asked her. I was now thinking that maybe the fool told her! What a stupid guy though? Why would you go confess such a thing? What was he trying to do? He didn’t love her so was he trying to tell her this so she could use it as ammunition for them to break up. I know so many misguided men who will do so many things to hurt clingy girlfriends just so the girlfriend can dump them and they don’t have to take responsibility for it.
“He did not tell me which is why I am inclined to believe it!”
I was confused.
“Wait so you accusing me of something which you are guessing happened? I met your boyfriend for what, three hours and already I was in bed with him? How is that even possible?”
I said and even as those words came out of my mouth I did feel kind of slutty. I had indeed met him for a few hours and he had ended up in my bed.
“Don’t raise your voice at me I did nothing wrong. He was on the phone with someone and I had him tell the person how he bagged one of my friends already!”
She said and now that hurt both her and me. Men talk about sex as women as though it’s like taking a dump in a plastic bag! We are tools and things that they use and when you are not his girlfriend, you really are regarded to as shit by them. He can be nice to you when you together but when his friends are giving him high fives you are just a thing there that he uses at his pleasure! That thought… It hurt me.
“I don’t know which friend he is talking about but if he is talking about me I am going to fuck up your boyfriend if I ever see him again! I never slept with him, I would never sleep with him I mean are you serious he said that? Are you sure he said that because when he slept over he was such a gentleman and even cooked? I can’t picture those words coming out of him!”
I said trying to sound angry and disbelieving at the same time.
“He cooked for you?”
She asked me surprised,
“Yes he insisted. He said it was the least he could do since I was giving him a place to crash. I was not even hungry but I guess he loves cooking for you!”
“He never cooks for me. He always says he will and every time there is an excuse. Even last night he refused!”
She said. Ok this was getting to that double awkward stage. There are so many girls I know whose men would do anything for other women just not them. It’s amazing really. It’s that thing of the side chick gets the shopping and the vacations whilst the wife is put on budgets and diets. When you the wife you are reminded that he is not going anywhere and you are building for the future whilst he is busy gallivanting with other women.
“Ok I am confused. He was so happy to do it but that’s not my problem. My problem is him saying he slept with me! That’s fucken creepy!”
I said pretending to be angry.
“He is off the phone, don’t hang up I want to ask him so you can hear for yourself. He does not know am on the phone with you!”
She said and I could hear her put the phone down without hanging.
She said calling his name. I guess in Venda the shortcut for Azwindini is that!
“Yes my beautiful love!”
He said in the background cheerfully.
“Don’t beautiful me. How dare you? I heard you on the phone telling whoever you were talking to that you slept with Lungi! How could you do that to me?”
She said. I could hear her anger but I think she was crying too! There was silence and then he burst out laughing. What a cruel cruel man? How could he laugh at her?
“Are you laughing? You think this is funny?”
She asked then I heard something break. I think she had thrown something at him.
“Hey you almost hit me with that!”
He shouted but still not in a serious tone! To him this was one big joke I suppose.
“Remember last night I told you about the guys from the rig and all the bets they were making. One of the bet was who was going to sleep with the most girls when they got home since you know our situation out there!”
He started to explain and she screamed,
“So you screwed my friend! How dare you? Get out! I want you out!”
“No, cool it! I didn’t screw anyone. I had to say something otherwise I would have the next few months back being the one being laughed at. I had to make something up and because when I slept there I had told my friend from the base that I am sleeping at my girlfriends friends place I had to say something happened just so I can win the bet. Even now they think I am on girl number four which is childish to you but to guys we take bets seriously!”
He said. I could hear she was sobbing and I think he moved closer to her because I could hear him soothing her.
“I am sorry baby that I used your friend’s name. I didn’t have any other choice and I will still have to lie about more people before I go back. It’s stupid guy fun that’s all. I am sorry!”
Oh wow this guy was either the smoothest person alive or Rudzani was the most gullible. No, I take it back on Rudzani, I would have bought it too but that was not what was irking me right now. This dooshbag had been doing a bet; I don’t doubt that all and I was just a pussy in his way! That’s how crude it felt!
“Can we make up please, let’s have sex now because I know when you are angry you give the best sex ever!”
I heard him say and nope that was not for me to hear!
“There is this funny face you make and…”
I hung up. I had heard enough. I was a bet and I deserved to refer to as such because I brought it on myself. I know he had managed to convince her of that but I doubt very much was joking.
“I am going to buy spices, come with me!”
He said. He did not ask if I wanted to go with but told me to come. Instinct, my feminist side would have told him to back off but when you want to look attractive to a man you tend to play the submissive role.
“Your doctor friend said I should rest so I can’t go!”
I reminded him. He acknowledged that it was doctor’s advice so he left. At least he had asked me. I stayed in the room a bit longer, took a deep breath then went to join the others.
“Where is Esihle?”
I asked when I got there. It was only Nthabiseng and Zama who were there.
“She went to the shops with Mbuso! Dude tell us what’s going on I sense something here!”
“What do you mean?”
I asked them.
“We not stupid and it’s what we were discussing right now. Mbuso seems to like you but Esihle seems to like him more than you do!”
Zama said and I laughed when I sat down. I told them the whole story of Mbuso and me. It was not even a story to be fair as there was nothing to tell but I told them.
“So you held back because he had a child and you were not ready for that kind of commitment?”
She asked when I was done.
“I am not a kid’s person that’s all. He is a cool guy and all but for me a child is baggage!”
I explained and they both looked at each other and laughed.
“Its like you are cliché for the things we were discussing. When you reach 28 like you and I and you want a man who is slightly older, how many men out there don’t have kids at that age?”
Nthabiseng asked me.
“So are you saying because I am this old I must settle for the first man that comes along even if he has kids and I don’t want them?”
I asked them. Zama was on the tip that she wouldn’t mind so long as she won’t suffer baby mama drama whilst Nthabiseng was on the fence on the whole thing. If anything the conversation was light hearted as they were drinking. I found myself getting more defensive though because I actually liked Ntheteng and I don’t think I really minded her as much as I thought I did.
“Kids are evil; they must go to their mother’s. I don’t have that motherly gene in me. Imagine me pregnant Shem. I like Mbuso a lot but the kid will be part of the package deal and me and kids are like oil and water! The little devils need you to raise them yourself and I will not raise another heifer’s child!”
I said laughing and they laughed too.
A male voice behind me.
“Mbuso! I didn’t see you there!”
We all had not heard them enter! He was carrying the charcoal and Esihle was standing behind him looking down.
Shit, they had heard me.
“Can we talk outside please?”
Mbuso said politely but I know the sound of disappointment when I hear it.
I said as I stood up.
I had fucked this up to look cool in front of my friends.
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)
Thanks for the daily dose. Last year I cheated on my boyfriend of almost three years. Before I confessed he told me he cheated and then he left me asking me to wait for him as he decided to go the spiritual route. A few months after the break up I confessed everything to him and told him I want to leave the guy I cheated on him with but I never did. Since then we’ve been trying to work on things but things will be fine for a month then we in each other’s throats again. I haven’t spoken to the guy I cheated on him with in over a month because my ex and I were serious about being together or so I thought. He asked me to visit him in East London and I bought my ticket and all then two days later he texts me and says he’s dating one of the girls he cheated on me with even sending me pictures. He says she’s pregnant. I asked why he did all of this and he said it’s karma. Being made to believe that something is done when it isn’t. At that time my periods are almost two weeks late. I know this is the part I should let go but before he told me all this he asked me to what length I’d fight for him, for us. I said I’d do anything. Problem is I can’t and don’t want to let him go. I love him so much. I feel he’s become more of me than I am of myself. Deep I know. Do I fight for him or just let him go? If I let go now a month from now he’ll come back I know. We can’t stay away from each other. (Sorry for the essay)