The first time they had old me of the hearing I had had a near panic attack. This time however was different. I had been expecting a bad outcome to be honest and like I said before girls like me from backgrounds like mine that don’t matter never get the fair end of the stick. Where I come from going to university in Gauteng is a complete privilege and it’s something I truly recognized. This was not the same as ending up in some no name college where one day you will wake up and find that their diploma programs are not even real. I was therefore not giving up because I was not grateful but rather because I knew the system would never work for me. Katlego walked in and she looked so refreshed from the time she had left. She found me lying on my bed with the lights off.
“And then wena… why are you sitting in the dark?”
She asked me cheerfully after switching on the light.
“Its been a bad day hey but oh well!”
I told my overly huggy roommate as I now had to stand up and hug her. I swear the way girls in university like hugging each other its like if you don’t hug you are going to hell.
“I was worried about you. Did you end up going to see Zethu?”
She asked me as she sat down on my side of the room. She was cheerful and before I could even answer she told me all about her weekend. She had managed to swim and relax now all was well with her. She had spoken too soon though.
“Your letter came!
I told her of which she asked me what letter.
“The hearing people made their results?”
I told her.
“That cant be right? The hearing was never concluded. They cannot give a result for the hearing without the hearing being completed.”
She explained to me.
“What do you mean?”
I asked her.
“Its like going to court and the judge calls for a postponement then next thing he is delivering your judgement without you being present. That’s rubbish!”
She said. Why had I not thought of that though? I mean even I knew that come on Samke stop thinking shallow like a slay queen! I reprimanded myself. She opened her letter and read it.
“They did not kick me out but they told me that I am an on my last warning!”
She told me. I could sense some relief in her voice as she said that.
“Did you also get the same?”
She asked me. I did not respond instead I handed over mine to read.
“This is bullshit. We are going to fight this. Remember we were charged with the same crime so how do you get kicked out and I stay?”
She asked me perplexed. That was a good question. I had not wanted to cry over this but the tears just came out on their own. Being in this position is not a nice feeling at all.
“No don’t cry. We are going to fix this. We will go to the SRC if we must or go get legal aid or something. I am very sure that mother of hers must have bribed the House Mother because she does look corrupt that one!”
She said and we laughed even though I was in tears. That overwhelming sense of helplessness was returning. She had made good points that I could fight this.
“I brought us cake. I know it wont help right now but at least it make us feel better for now as we strategize!”
She was not joking about the cake and in fact it was half a cake to be precise. We ate it as we strategized and yes it bring a sense of comfort. Late at night I took a picture of the letter and I sent it to Ada with the caption,
“They have kicked me out all because you said something to Abedi. Look at my life now!”
I told him. I was not expecting a reply from him so I went to bed. I barely slept. I kept on dreaming of being a hobo begging in the streets with people laughing at me. In the morning I actually managed to wake up late. Katlego was gone which was a bit of a surprise because she was one person who never not made that mistake of waking up before ten. I barely made my class and what’s worse the lecturer decided that we should have a mock test. I was barely ready and I was sure I was going to fail it. I knew when Zethu was free so I went to find her.
“I can see you have been crying, what’s wrong mfethu?”
She asked me coming out from a group of classmates she was standing with. I took out the letter from my bag and gave her to read.
She said to me and yeah she was right I was in shit.
“I don’t know what to do. Katlego says I can fight because they charged us with the same crime yet she only got a warning!”
I told her.
“She is right but what if they then decide that Katlego should be kicked out too?”
She asked me. We had not thought of that Katlego and I because they could turn around and blame Katlego just as harshly and judge her like me. It would be unfair for her to lay on a sword that was not of her making.
“You will have to come stay with me for a while whilst we figure out what to do. You know I have more than enough space and its closer to the African food you like!”
She said playfully and she came and hugged me. I just started crying. Goodness where were all these tears coming from. Ngangizenza ingane manje I needed to toughen up.
“Don’t worry we will fix this!”
She said to me but I just could not understand why me. I had not picked this fight yet here I was. She had a test and she had to go so I found myself alone yet again on campus. When you going through something being alone makes you overthink things. Telling my parents was not an option because they would be disappointed in me. Ada had not responded as yet. As I was sitting in the sun I got a call. It was Abedi.
“Ada told me what happened, I am sorry. How can I fix it?”
He asked me. The nerve of this guy. I wanted to drop the phone on him but I could not.
“I was kicked because your girlfriend came to beat me up because you had dumped her or whatever. I defended myself and now I am the one kicked out! How is that even fair Abedi?”
I asked him.
“It was a big misunderstanding and I get it that it is my fault this is why I want to help you find a solution. I am also going to speak to her to see if she can recant her statement!”
He told me. I do not think he understood how much damage had already been done here and that’s why he could not comprehend how much trouble I was in.
“Those people do not change their minds. Of all the people in the world you had to choose her the most vengeful person in the world. Now what am I supposed to do? I met you guys a week ago and in a week you have already ruined my life and for what?”
I asked him and again the tears started coming out.
“Don’t worry and please don’t do anything stupid, I will fix this. Ada said I must fix and I will!”
He said. Although there was confidence in his voice I again got that distinct impression that he was scared of Ada. I really could not shake that feeling that Ada was his boss in some kind of way. He seemed to give Abedi instructions on things that needed doing and Abedi would run around for him.
“How much time do you have before you move out?”
He asked me.
“By Sunday I must be out. When is Ada coming back because he had said by today he will be back?”
I asked him.
“He has been delayed and even I at this stage I am not sure.”
He told me. He had to go but at least there were people helping me make a plan. I did not have the stomach for class anymore so I decided that I should go back to res. As I entered residence I saw her. She saw me too and she froze first and then smiled. Zamo was really quite something. Christianity holds us back sometimes because I should have done something terrible to here there and then. She was literally laughing at me because she had won. I intended to walk past her but I could not because she made it clear that she wanted me to see that she had no qualms over what she had done. So I went to her,
“I just want to understand something, from day one you have hated me and I have never ever understood why because I was never in the way of your friendship with Katlego, I never went out with you guys and all that? Why do you hate me?”
I asked her. I actually thought she would ignore me but she sneered and responded,
“I will tell you if you really want to know. You remind of this girl in my high school who was my enemy. She made my life miserable. You even laugh and talk like her the way its so annoying. When I became friends with Katlego I thought I could give you a chance but you were always so stuck up and never wanted to do things with us which made me dislike you even more.”
She said folding her arms as though she had actually made sense. I just stood there shocked because this was simply crazy. Had she really likened me to a person I did not even know and for that ruined my life? Is girl world really that petty.
She said and she walked away leaving me standing there not even sure which direction to turn. The whole week was like this as no one was coming up with solutions for me. Ada did not come back as promised and Abedi disappeared. Katlego had an argument with Zamo and they blocked each other and that was that. The week had moved in a manner I had not expected. Now I was 24 hours away from being homeless and I still had no plan.
“Stop stressing too much like I said you can crash by me whilst we make a plan. You know I cant leave you on the street!”
Zethu offered for the umpteenth time. Maybe I should just tell my mother I was coming home and get it over and done with.
“Thanks again and you know I really appreciate that from you. I honestly don’t get why you liked me from the first day we met. I don’t make friends easily yet here you are!”
I told her.
“We still need to deal with Zamo. It cant be that she walks over us like this and we let her get away with it.”
I told them and Nthabiseng is the one who responded this time,
“That girl is bad news. How do you suppose you will put her in her place because now she seems she is fully dating Abedi? Abedi and Samke do not speak as is.”
She reminded us. We did not speak because I had made a wrong conclusion but I knew he wanted me and not her. I was going to take her man in front of her eyes and when I was done with, she was going to make sure that this time the suicide would not be attention seeking but permanent.
She had mad the wrong enemy! My phone rang at that moment and it was Ada.
“Sorry for the silence I had a lot to do!”
He started. I had actually thought this man had forgotten about me.
“Are you back?”
I asked him curtly.
“Yes I landed a few hours ago. I spoke to Abedi too and see that you still don’t have a plan.”
He told me which was obvious. Where had Abedi been all this time though? I could not ask him that though because I did not need more drama at this moment.
“Yes and tomorrow I have to leave residence. I have nowhere to go Ada.”
I told him.
“Don’t worry, that is sorted. Abedi has an apartment in Braamfontein. We spoke and he has leased it to me for the rest of the year. Will that do nwa lewa?”
I just stood there shocked. If Ada asked me to bend over and burst it open right at this moment I would have. Little did I know that I had just fallen out of the frying pan into the fire. My ancestors had really abandoned me and I am sure it was because they could not understand all this English I had been speaking lately…sigh!