When Thandeka Mkhize had moved into South Point it was me that got her a place to stay. You know when you come from back home people expect you to know everything and when they need help you get it done. I remember the day her mother had called me asking me to help with her accommodation. She had been a teacher at my school and one of the good ones too. I had readily accepted in spite of all the other things I had on my plate. What all these people did not know was what it had taken me to get into this position where I could actually help others? All they saw was me corrupting ingane zabo like I had no better things to do. I obviously have many regrets in life like everyone else but some of the things that happened to me in life were largely out of circumstance as opposed to wants. I read that text message again to make sure that my eyes were not deceiving me.
“Ada just got me an apartment guys!”
I told them and the girls looked at me in total silence. The shock on their faces was the same one on mine. Nthabiseng even had her mouth open like a fish out of water.
“You are joking right?”
Zethu asked sceptically looking at my face then my phone then face again.
“I wish i was but I am not. He did not get it as in buying it for me but he said he leased it from Abedi for a year!”
I told them. I think the shock in them was do real because no one actually cheered. Even I did not cheer even though I was so happy that he had done so. Why could I not cheer? The question came a second later from Nthabiseng,
“I hate to be the one to state the obvious but you do realize that you going to have to fuck him right?”
She had just stated what all of us thought and knew.
“I am not sure I am ready for that guys honestly!”
I confessed to both of them.
“Dude its just sex. These idiots don’t last long and the fat ones, no offense to Ada don’t last 5 minutes!”
Zethu put in her 2 cents worth. It was offensive, yes but we all laughed because it was funny.
“I am a virgin!”
I announced my big secret. Again there was silence.
“I am waiting for you to say you are joking!”
Zethu said. They both stared at me and i just could not speak.
“I don’t think our young grasshopper is joking actually wow, this complicates things a lot!”
Nthabiseng said. Now I was a whole grasshopper. What does that even mean?
“If I slept with him I would feel like I sold myself to him for an apartment and could never forgive myself for it!”
I told them which was true. I didn’t grow up going KwaMhlanga and I don’t think we even believed in that at home. It just happened that I was good at rejecting guys who approached me back home.
“What do you guys think?”
I asked them and obviously Zethu spoke up first.
“Men on Twitter will have you believe that your honeypot is not currency, so-called feminists would admonish any woman who dared git things because of it but here is a reality no matter who lies to who, pussy is currency and used right it can move mountains for you. Loyal or disloyal men chase it and often they give you gifts for it. You think that ring you got is because you talk right? No sisi your honeypot and the favours come as part of the package. It’s like on the one hand women are taught to be body positive than in the same breath told don’t see the value and power in the honey they produce. Tsek!”
Zethu was way too liberal and I was not even surprised that this was her answer. Nthabiseng was more circumspect in a response.
“I lost my virginity in grade 10 to some idiot named Tshepo Phasha. What the fuck was I thinking? We had gone to a chillaz in Rustenburg and he had been eyeing me. He was in Grade 11 and was the hottest guy in school for me. Anyway after we shagged he told everyone how easy I was and i hated him forever. I got my cousins to beat him up even!”
She told us but was not done,
“I would rather you lose your virginity to a man than a boy. I regret giving it up to him because ut something i can never run away from no matter what. He goes to UJ now and he tried to shela me after all that imagine!”
The way she had said that I aure she could still taste the bitterness in her mouth.
Nthabiseng said turning to Zethu.
“Oh wow we are sharing now.”
She said and she laughed.
“You guys will think I am such a whore. My first time was when I had sex with my stepbrother! It was a mess!”
She said leaving us with our jaws both on the floor.
“I wanna hear more and don’t even dare leave out the details!”
“Don’t you wanna hear it too?”
She asked me.
“Of course I do!”
Truth is I really did not but these girls had taken me into their confidence so I really had to act like one of the girls now.
“It’s not that deep. We are not blood-related. When I was in Grade 11 my father remarried. I have told you that. My mother passed away when I was in grade 3. The guy’s firstborn was in the first year at the time. We hit it off. During the December holiday that year we went to a party and yah we did it in the car! It was so straight forward!”
She told us.
“Did you guys do it just the once?”
Nthabiseng asked her.
“Nope. The whole of that December. It was crazy because my parents would go away as everyone does in December and leave us alone together. I never knew I eas such a horny person. I would always chase after him and that time he had a girlfriend. That’s crazy is that I did not even like him like that but because he was there and available it was just a naughty indulgence.”
She told us. I am not sure she regretted her decision but for me that just felt like having sex with my brother. It was nasty but the way she had made it sound so normal was crazy.
“How did you guys break it off?”
I asked her.
“That was easy enough. He went back to school and I stayed at home in my matric. By the time he came back in June, the infatuation was gone and we never did it again.”
She explained. I know we are not supposed to judge other people but how was any of this even normal. These are the people who were my advisors Lord I was in trouble.
“Anyway enough of that I am not the one in the situation? Do you have a plan C?”
Zethu asked me.
“Like I said you can stay with me but what if tomorrow the offer to stay at the apartment is rescinded. What do you do then?”
She asked me and she was right. This again was that thing of kicking a gift horse in the mouth.
“Do you really think he will want sex?”
I asked her.
“Dwee, they all do!”
“Don’t scare her Nthabiseng but at the end of the day Ada is not chasing after you because you speak nice Zulu!”
She said sarcastically and we all laughed be it me nervously.
“Maybe he wants a green card?”
I said and they laughed.
“Nigerian guys don’t need to marry us to get citizenship and you know it. Home Affairs people are so corrupt you can buy that thing for a thousand rand!”
Zethu reminded us and she was right. How many police officers had lost good-paying jobs because they accepted an R100 bribe? Our people totally defy logic then blame everyone else for their mistakes.
“Look you will cross that bridge when you get there. For now, focus on the move. We are going to come to help you pack. Tonight you sleep here and tomorrow you move to the apartment.”
Zethu said to me. I was nervous but i was grateful to them for being there.
“What did you give this guy though? He is so obsessed with you? Remember even when we went out he made sure you were well taken care of? I have never ever had a guy go crazy for me like that and i have sex!”
Zethu said and we all laughed. She was right though and everyone knows how dangerous obsession is in people. We all watched that Beyonce movie and i really did not want to end up hunted.
“Ibheka mina wedwa from back home is really strong guys I must brew you one too!”
I said and they all laughed. Love portions are very real because I have even heard women back home talk about them. it’s never in a positive way of course but they cant all talk about the same thing if its fake.
“I think we need to go to your place now this way there will still be time to go out!”
Nthabiseng said but Zethu jumped in and said,
“No dude. Not tonight. I just want to spend a weekend in with my friends for once. Even my liver needs a break!”
She refused her friend. I agreed with her. I can not be the girl that goes out every night.
Katlego was not there she had gone to her uncle’s place again which made it easier. I hated goodbyes in any case. I called her regardless and told her what the plan was but left out the Ada part. As far as she was concerned I was moving in with Zethu. When we got to my room i actually did not have a lot to pack. I packed up everything and within two hours we were done. My life in three boxes. I felt sorry for myself.
We all slept at Zethu’s place drinking wine and talking about past experiences not like i had a lot to share. In the morning i woke up to a text message on my phone.
It was from Zamo.
“I knew I hated you for a reason. Now you are staying in Abedi’s apartment because that fat gorilla of yours asked him to. Remember what Katlego said I did an ex once, pray it doesn’t happen to him because I am going to make it happen.”
The text read. Bad as it was I actually smiled. I finally had something on her that I could use and I had every intention of making the torture last.