I read a story in the newspaper where a man cut off the finger of his daughters ex
husband. The reason if I remember correctly was because the ex was still harassing his daughter. A father’s love can be the most amazing thing ever but it can also be the most deadly. I know the rule of thumb is that women or mothers are more protective of their children than fathers. I don’t think it’s true though. The problem is when men are protective they become over protective something which causes tension or unhappiness even to the girl. Naledi had a father that loved her and as an only child it was to be expected. The problem with the father however was that he was also psychotic which made this a very scary and dangerous thing for me.
“Naledi come on how did he find out? We were supposed to tell him together!”
I asked her as I sat down.
“That’s the least of you problems right now. He knows and now we have to come up with something! He was so angry and I don’t think I have ever seen him like this!”
She told me and that just made feel worse. This was the last thing I wanted to hear right now. I had enough problems of my own and to add to them this made them seem like they were trivial.
“Vusi tell me that you had a plan on how to break this news to him eventually because what you had planned for later is definitely happening now!”
“What exactly did he say to you?”
I asked her as though that would change anything.
“He said in no uncertain terms that the next time he sees he is going to kill you!”
She warned me. Why had I even bothered asking her?
“What do you suggest I do? Should I go to your house now, call him or wait until the morning?”
I asked her.
“Why are you asking me that? How am I supposed to know?”
She asked me.
“He is your father and you know him best so don’t ask me such questions because I really don’t know!”
She told me.
“O God what were we thinking though? I know my father and he does not make idle threats. I knew he would never accept this yet at the time it sounded nice!”
She told me,
“What are you talking about?”
I asked her,
“Are you having doubts about us?”
I asked her.
“Hell yeah am having doubts about everything because make no mistake about it there is no way we can get out of this without there being consequences.”
She warned me.
“That’s unfair, just this afternoon you said for good or bad we will fight anything together!”
I reminded her.
“Yeah I said that and at the time I meant it. Vusi do you know full well who my father is?”
She asked me.
“Yeah but he is not the boogeyman!”
I reminded her. I was scared of him yes but I was not going to let that terrify me from doing the right thing!
“You are right there Vusi he is not the boogeyman, my dad is the guy that makes the boogeyman hide in the dark and only come out at night to spook kids!”
She said. I felt my mouth go dry at that moment. She was just as scared as I was if not more.
“I have been under a lot of stress lately Naledi and your father coming after me is something that I fear so much! You have to talk to him before I go see him”
I told her but before she could respond Londiwe walked in.
“Baby what’s going on? Why are you pacing back and forth like that?”
Londiwe asked me entering the room. She had been sleeping I think I don’t know but she walked in.
“Naledi’s father just found out about our situation and it did not go down well!”
I told her.
“And you expected any different?”
She asked me sarcastically.
“Now is not the time for I told you so Londiwe if you have nothing to contribute rather don’t say anything!”
I told her rudely.
“You don’t have to be rude to me Vusi, you are the man remember. When my mother came to warn you about this you dismissed her so easily because she was a woman. Let’s see how you solve this one!”
She said and she walked back to the bedroom I needed to think and think fast. Ignoring the situation was not going to fix anything. I had to sit down with him man to man.
“I can hear that Londiwe is not on our side, this is a mess!”
Naledi said. She was still on the phone when Londiwe had walked in meaning that she had heard that little exchange.
“I know but we had fought earlier so she will come around!”
I reassured her.
“I think this would be better if all three of us go explain to my father the situation. He will see that no one is being forced into a situation we don’t want!”
She tried to advise me.
“Naledi the other day I asked you if your father is dangerous and you said no but today you are saying a different story!”
I asked her.
“Yeah because it’s a different level altogether. This is about me now not some business deal!”
She tried to explain.
“My father is the type of man that thinks bringing the death penalty back isn’t severe enough as a punishment so trust me on this we need to get our stories straight!”
She warned me like I did not already know from her tone that this was absolutely no joke.
“What story? We love each other and we made a decision of this plural message together. No one was tricked into it so we can tell him that!”
I reminded her because it now seemed like this had been idea. It had not been my idea it had been theirs and like a fool I had listened to them.
“You don’t get it. My father has expectations of me and he has a reputation he guards jealously!”
All these things she was saying did not make it sound like we were in this together. She was not marrying her father she was marrying me and at the end of the day she had choose what she wanted for herself not him.
“Yes but he also loves you to death and he seems like he respects your opinion so maybe we can talk to him! I don’t think this is the end of the world. We are strong together so we can do this together. I like your suggestion that the three of us must discuss this and so we shall”
I said trying to calm her down as she was already starting to sound like she was falling apart.
“I don’t know what to do Vusi. It’s my entire fault. I am the one who said yes to this crazy idea and convinced you. I should have remembered him in all this!”
She said. It was getting late and keeping her on the phone was not going to make things better for us. She was just winding herself up even more which was not what we wanted.
“Stop panicking. I am going to take care of it and I am going to take care of him! Don’t worry about it!”
I reassured her. To be honest that me reassuring myself. It was obvious that things were bad but what’s the worst he could do? The man was long overdue anger management classes but he was reasonable enough to have stayed out of jail all this time. Clearly this meant that the man could be reasoned with.
“Londiwe I am sleeping on the couch!”
I shouted from the sitting room. It’s not like I had a choice because after I had hit her I think the last place I wanted to be was with her in the bedroom! She did not answer. I really had made the couch my home. I slept here on more times than I did with Londiwe. My phone rang and it was Tumi. I always say this guy has no timing,
He said when I picked up his call.
“I have some news!”
He told me.
“Ok go on!”
“I am getting married! I proposed to a girl and she said yes!”
He said. If I was not under so much stress I would have fainted. Tumi was the ultimate bachelor and I did not even think his knees could bend far enough to propose!
“Dude call me back when you have serious things to talk about!”
I told him dismissively.
“I knew you won’t believe me but I am not kidding. I also want you to be my best man!”
He said and I laughed at him. He was lying obviously there was no way.
“Can we meet tomorrow because I want to introduce her to you? You are going to love her and its going to be a surprise too!”
He told me.
“I will meet you yes but I won’t lie I will believe it when I see it!”
I told him laughing. Some temporary respite to my stresses. He hung up. No matter how I tried I could not sleep. I was not even tossing and turning. I simply just stared at the ceiling as though that would change anything. I needed solutions. Maybe I should pray. Three hours later when my phone ring it’s no surprise that I was still up.
“Mum its 2am in the morning what do you want?”
I asked her.
“Vusi you better come now, Naledi’s father just got here. He is drunk and he is angry. He says he found out about the three of you and wants a meeting right now!”
She told me.
“I am not coming there at this time of the night. Give him a place to sleep or call the police!”
I told her.
“You can’t be serious! This is your mess and I warned you that this will happen but you did not listen!”
She told me. Everyone kept telling me that it’s my fault and I did not need to hear that.
“He will sleep it off. I will come in the morning and all five of us can discuss this!”
I told her. I was not being dismissive but the worst thing to do is to try negotiating with a drunken person. I was not going to win. Calm the situation down before engaging.
“Ok then but I don’t like this at all!”
She said and with that she hung up the phone.
Your stories have inspired me a lot of times and I am really grateful for them. Thank you very much for sharing so much with us.
Guys please help me I don’t know what to do its urgent. I have been dating this guy for the last four years. We have a new born baby together; he bought us a town house and furnished it. We are a happy couple and parents on both sides approve of us or at least I thought they did. I found out on Sunday at church that he is getting married to someone else next weekend. A lady came and told me that she was certain that he was the groom. I thought she was lying until she asked her friend to take a picture of the wedding invite. It even has his picture in it. He was not there he was out of town which happened frequently as he is in mining. I drove straight to his parent’s house to ask about this and they were all surprised that I didn’t know I was the makhwapheni. His mother said the girl he is marrying they have been together since they were in high school so it was not a surprise to them. They were so calm about it. These people called me Makoti and when I had our baby were there for me. The way they were so casual about it is so scary. I am losing it and can’t even think straight right now.
What should I do? I have every intention of gate crashing that wedding and I am going to cause a scene the likes of which he has never seen. I am so angry and hurt but I have not confronted him. I am sure his parents have confronted him. I have not spoken to him since the weekend and he has left several missed calls.
Saturday o tla ntseba botse! Wa ntlwaela masepa!