Situation awareness is what most people lack. As a man you can see a beautiful girl sitting with other men but even
she gives you the eyes you or makes it clear she is not dating any of them approaching her there and then will be suicidal. Same goes for arguing with a woman or anyone for that matter who is holding a knife or boiling water. It’s not that they are crazy (oops ok maybe not the right example with Naledi) but because in that moment their anger might take to a place of no return. I had picked. This fight and instead of deescalating it I had pressed on driving her to a point knowing full well what she was capable of.
Londiwe screams as her new BFF came at me with the knife. I was rooted to the spot I did not even move. I literally waited for the sharp piercing contact with the blade but it never came.
She missed or had she! Maybe I was dead already and this what heaven feels like. One thing for sure though is that like Londiwe she had managed to scare me shitless.
“Oh my God what have I done?”
She said dropping the knife. When she lunged at me she did not gone for my body she went sideways. I was slow in that had she kept the straight line that knife would have hit me in the stomach straight.
Londiwe screamed. I think that is what had snapped her out of it as the knife dropped to the floor.
“Oh my God what have I done?”
She sobbed again. She stepped back in panic and although she knew she had not stabbed me with it she asked,
“Vusi are you ok? Oh my God Vusi I don’t know what I was thinking are you ok?”
She asked again.
I walked away and went straight to her medicine cabinet I the bathroom. I was not going to give her chance. I came back and put all her medicines on the table.
“Take your pills right now otherwise I will live right now and you will never see me again!”
I told her. She did not have to be told twice as she identified the pills she needed and drank immediately.
“I would never hurt you I really truly hope you believe me!”
She cried. I felt a bit bad because truth be told I had deliberately caused this and it’s a good thing it was not a gun she was holding because she would have shot me. Londiwe still had her hands in her mouth in shock.
“Londiwe you probably hate me now like everyone else but I am truly sorry. I don’t know how I lost it there and I could not even feel myself as I did it. I know it sounds like an excuse but that’s just who I am!”
She pleaded with her intended sister wife. Londiwe just nodded her head but you could see that she was completely terrified.
“Londiwe please get her pjs for her!”
I instructed her.
“But… I don’t know where they are!”
“Please tell me that you guys are not going to leave. Please I beg you. It was a mistake and I don’t want to wake up alone.
She pleaded. I must say I was impressed by how fast these pills work. In a matter of five minutes she was already drowsy. She took off her clothes in front of us as she got into them.
“Londiwe please take her to bed!”
I told her.
“Please do it together if we are all going to end up together!”
She was still holding on to that notion poor child but ok.
I told her as we walked her to bed together. She was already drowsy like I said but it struck me that how that she was pregnant she might have to change her medication is this could not be good for the baby. These pills were simply too strong.
“Thank you guys!”
She said politely to us as she dossed off. She was lights out in moments.
“Did that just happen?”
Londiwe asked me.
“Did what just happen?”
I asked her back.
We have all heard of the saying that seeing is believing. It’s even in the bible for crying out loud that chap doubting Thomas. He had to see to believe. Londiwe would never have believed me if I had simply told her that Naledi was not mentally stable. She would have probably thought that I was conspiring to get rid of her. To therefore say I was happy with the way things had gone is an understatement. Yes it’s bad and yes its mean but Naledi flipping out like that had worked in my favour in so many ways. Now I knew that she would never want herself married to her for obvious reasons. I was wrong to have manipulated Naledi into reacting but this was going to work for me in so many ways.
“Why didn’t you tell me that she had mental issues?”
Londiwe asked me as soon as she felt that she could not be heard. She had to be sure first clearly fearing that Naledi would come finish off what she started.
“I thought you were ready to marry her yet you don’t even know her?”
I asked her but it was more in a sarcastic tone than anything else. Some people never listen but now that she knew she had to see for herself that because she was impulsive she almost found herself in a marriage.
“I change my mind this is too scary! What if I piss her off and she stabs me or something?”
Londiwe asked and I wanted to laugh because with Londiwe it was not about what if rather a matter of when she pissed her off.
“You are the one who told her to call her dad and the only way we can escape this is if you convince her to tell her father that’s it’s not what she wants!”
I advised her.
“She told me about her father and I am a bit scared of that to be honest!”
Londiwe advised me like I did not already know. In life people should learn to listen ad unfortunately that was not her strongest suit. You see people who fail in school are those that think that they know everything and do not listen. You can advise them, you can encourage them and you can show them but unless they convince themselves that this is right you are wasting your time. Londiwe was one of them. She was stubborn for no reason even on things I knew better about.
“Well you were the one who beat up his daughter then convinced her to be a second wife so now you have to fix it!”
I reminded her to rub it in.
“Me and my big mouth! She actually does love you just so you know!”
She told me.
I didn’t care. My plan had worked. I had managed to turn Londiwe against her. There was hope yet and maybe that second date with Ezile.
I sat down.
“Why are you sitting down?”
She asked me.
“What? Do you want us to sneak out and leave her all alone?”
I asked her. The way I let the question out was very much intended to guilt and shame her but she was not about that life.
“Yes of course! When she wakes up we will not be here! I don’t want her blood on our hands so we must just accept that we have bitten off more than we can chew here!”
“No Londiwe we are not leaving. I have asked you this before and I want an answer now, why is my mother suddenly in your corner now?”
I asked her.
“Why are you asking me? I don’t know why don’t you ask her!”
She said defensively. I have known Londiwe long enough to know when she is hiding something but this time around I really was not sure.
“She is refusing to tell me!”
I told her.
“Well did it cross your mind that maybe she actually figured out that I am a good person worthy of her respect. I know maybe you don’t see it but my love for you is genuine. There is nothing I won’t do for you and if your mother loves you the she would want you to end up with someone who loves you!”
She said motivating for herself. Her answer was so good even I could not argue against that but I know when I am being played.
“Well we both can’t sit here, I have things to do! Will you be fine alone with Naledi?”
I asked her.
“Do I have a choice?”
She asked me of which my answer was a stern.
She just looked at me.
“When she wakes up she will be fine don’t worry!”
I told her.
“Where are you going?”
She asked me.
“I am going to see my mother. Maybe she will tell me why the two of you want to share a husband. Something is shady and I intend to get to the bottom of it.”
I told as I picked up my keys to leave.
“Good luck with that hey and besides after what I saw today I have changed my mind!”
Londiwe said defiantly. I did not doubt that she had because if I were in her shoes I have no doubt that I would have changed my mind as well.
“OK then if you say so!”
I told her. I left the house still very confused by all that was going on. There was something I was missing in all this and I think my mother would know. This was not normal. I had not gone far before the phone rang in the car and it was Tumi. I actually ignored it because you know sometimes you have those friends who irritate; Tumi can be one of them. He called again and only on the third time did I pick up,
“Mate what’s up?”
I asked him already annoyed at the calling. If someone misses your call twice surely it’s a sign that they will call you back.
“I am glad you picked because this is bad, this is bad!”
“What is bad? What are you talking about?”
I asked him. Tumi had a tendency to be dramatic so I was not in a state of panic at this stage.
“Have you been listening to the news?”
He asked me anxiously.
“No I never listened why what’s up?”
I asked him.
“Dude your old boss was shot dead leaving the office! It’s on the news even!”
He said and he was clearly shaken.
I accused him in vein. I actually could not believe it. People don’t just die for the fun of it ok.
“Why would I? We both know who did it! Shit, I need to leave Johannesburg!”
I had the daughter of suspect number one pregnant!
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)
Good day Mike.
I know this is probably not the right platform to post this but i wanted to share with the world the abuse i endure in the hands of my “boyfriend”, and the failure of my family to protect me from this man.
So Mike, my name is “V” and this is my story.
What are families for, if not to love and protect?
I was barely over eighteen when I met my abuser. Let me take give you a brief re my background…
My father passed on when I was about fourteen months old, so I grew up all my life without a father. And although it is common to assume that a child who grows up without a father has “daddy issues”, I did not have such. And this is why: I grew up in a loving home where in all honesty; it only started making sense that I do not have a father when I was doing my eleventh grade. Only then did I try to grieve the best way I knew how. I never really cared about my not having a father because I felt loved by my own family. So as you read this, do not feel pity for me because i am one in a million other children who grew up without fathers.
Now back to my story. I fell in love with my abuser because of what he could offer then, love, attention, time and the fact that he was slightly older than me, I felt protected even, with him. This man was everything a lady could ever wish for and more. But looking back now, it really was too good to be true.
A few months into our relationship, I fell pregnant. It was all okay for the first two months, when the pregnancy wasn’t even showing and then my abuser in him started revealing himself. At eighteen he left me to carry his child, struggle with heartburns and swollen feet while he lived his life to the fullest. It didn’t bother me much until he denied my then unborn child. I was the joke in everyone’s eyes for carrying a fatherless child. My worst fear, of having my child growing up without a father, was coming to pass.
Eventually, I had to make a decision to avoid resenting my child for his father’s deeds. I taught myself to love my unborn child. I taught myself to appreciate my God-given gift. And although it was hard because I knew that my son was going to grow up without a father, I needed to be strong enough for the both of us. At that time, I had given up a year of studying because of my pregnancy. My life revolved around the child I was carrying, the fatherless child I was carrying.
Fast forward to after I gave birth. My beloved abuser decided to waltz back into my and my child’s lives. And because I was trying to be a better person than he is, I allowed him into my son’s life.
Note how I referred to our son as “my son” until now. This is because at the time, he was mine and mine alone as the father, my abuser, had denied him. I will now refer to him as “our son” because we both are his parents from here forth.
We tried the best way we knew how to be good parents to our child. Our child was after all the reason we were trying to make it work. While at it, there were cheatings, beatings, rape, abortion and emotional abuse but I endured it all. I had to, for our son’s sake, or so I chose to believe. On one good day, at his place, I supposed the monster in him couldn’t contain itself, he saw it fit to rape me in the presence of our child. For his sake, I would like to believe that our son was actually sleeping as he was on the bed and I was on a rather cold floor.
It was after that incident that I felt I could not be with this abuser anymore. I had to walk away before he does something worse than raping me in the presence of our child. I took that decision and ended things with him. All I wanted was to be set free, free from this monster.
Fast forward to three months after the break up, my abuser apologised for “whatever I could have done to you”, he said. I couldn’t take any more of his apologies because that is all he could offer every time after taking a piece of me. Seeing that I was not hearing any of it, he chose to involve MY family.
My mother was the first to swear at me and when I tried telling her that the very same man who is a saint in her eyes, is a monster breaking me into bits and pieces by his physical, sexual and emotional abuse, she told me she doesn’t care what he did or is doing…ok’salayo, he apologised. I had never felt so disappointed. I’d never imagined a day when my own mother would send me to a lion’s den. He got other people to apologise on his behalf yet could not tell any of them what he is apologising for. For me, it did not matter anymore. You know why, because my own mother failed me! I felt the pressure mounting up and decided to just agree to work things out. He claimed he changed and although I did not believe him, I said it was “okay”.
Today as I am writing this, I was raped yet again last night. This man came to visit me and he raped me, again. He’d promised to never do that but here we are.
Raping me is one thing, but having him say “but it’s your fault, you made me do it. I had missed you. I just allowed my emotions to get the better of me. I never meant to hurt you. But why don’t you want to have sex with me, this is what will happen” hurt even more. This man is not sorry at all. This man is my abuser but my family want me to be with him. My mother doesn’t even talk to me anymore, in fact the last time I called her, she hung up on me. But to my shock, last night she called him, my abuser. Her “son”.
I don’t have a father, and my mother has chosen to mother my abuser in my expense.
THIS MAN DID NOT ONLY RAPE, BEAT , OR BREAK ME… HE TOOK FROM ME THE ONLY PARENT I HAD AND FOR THAT, I RESENT HIM!!!!!!