Yah neh, life and its ironies. I could hear little voices in my head laughing at me. You know for someone who had
been so careful in life about not only who they slept with but also the kind of genes I wanted to have in my baby, I had surely messed up. By genes I mean no one wants to have an ugly baby. That much is fact. We all want to have babies who are cute whom when we go to the mall people can go gaga over. Imagine having a baby who no one wants to lift up because the baby is ugly? Nope that can’t be right. We all want a hot wife or husband so that we can also have hot babies. With me I had another category, brains! I always assumed my baby daddy would have brains so that I don’t raise a dumb child! That is my greatest fear in life ah, producing stupid children who come last in class! Yho Shem imagine! You are angry with every report card and at parent teacher consultations you are embarrassed of being seen because you are the one that produced that academically challenged child. Imagine Leshole from Skeem Saam being your child! What are you going with him after he fails matric? Eish…
“I think she needs to be sedated a bit more. She has a lot to process and I don’t want her to stress too much!”
I heard Ezile’s voice. It really sounded far. I passed out again. I think they had injected something in me I can’t remember. When I woke up it was late afternoon and there was a nurse in the room with me.
“Lungi you are up!”
She said to me. She knew my name. How did she know it? Oh I remembered there was a chart obviously.
“What time is it?”
I asked her.
“It’s shortly after five!”
She told me.
“I am hungry!”
I told her. My mouth felt dry and empty and I was feeling rather weak.
“I can imagine. You have been sleeping since yesterday when the doctor said you were up!”
She told me. Say what? I thought only a few hours have passed.
“I don’t understand! What’s wrong with me?”
I asked her.
“I don’t know to be honest. I am just here to check your vitals and right now you are fine. The doctor will be here shortly she will tell you what’s up! She said we should page her when you are up!”
Yup she actually said page like on TV not call her. Why am I surprised though kids today are saying they are going to prom, what happened to the matric dance psssh! Tshini!
“Thank you. Can I have so water at least? My mouth is so dry!”
I asked the nurse who happily obliged me. The water was called and tasted foreign to me but I drank it like I had never drunk water before.
“Ok there that’s enough!”
She told me. I still wanted more but I could sense my tummy was full. Maybe I was trying to drown the baby.
“How is my baby?”
I asked her. I wanted to start putting two and two together.
“You only a few weeks old so you can’t really tell anything but from these charts your baby is fine! Now get some rest!”
She said and immediately walked out. Get some rest was she mad? I had been resting for how many days now? I wanted answers and that response had been so vague to say the least. I did not have to wait long though because Ezile arrived about thirty minutes later.
“How are you feeling today?”
She asked me cheerfully. She was not wearing her doctor’s clothes actually unless doctors wear shorts nowadays.
“I am ok thank you. Did I call you from your day off?”
I asked her with a weak smile.
“It doesn’t matter. I am post call now so I want to just pass out but when they said you were up I had to come see you!”
She explained. I did not know we were friends because I really did not like her but when she has the power to kill you with just one injection then of course she was my BFF!
“Thank you. I am so confused and scared. I don’t know what’s happening and I am sure you saw yesterday I did not even know how I got here!”
I told her opening up. I was even crying now and I don’t know what the hell was making me cry. I think I was scared.
“Don’t worry about it you are in good hands. There is nothing wrong with you as far as I can see. I was just worried about the stress you being awake could put on the baby.”
She explained to me and there it was again, the baby! I was not about to tell my new BFF that this baby she was talking about was fatherless ah. I remember reading in a blog once that a woman can never say she does not know who the father of her unborn child is because only a bicycle does not know who rode it! I had laughed so hard and said it was so true but today being the bicycle suddenly it did not sound so funny anymore!
“Thank you for that. I won’t lie I did not know I was pregnant so you shocked the both of us. How many weeks is it?”
I asked her. She picked up the chart and read a number to me and immediately I started counting. I had to narrow down the search to see who could have been the father. The numbers were not adding up.
“All we have to make sure of now is that you get out of here healthy for both you and the baby. Did I wish you congratulations?”
She asked me. My mind was faraway but I heard that.
“Yes thank you.”
I told her. Look generally I am someone who is good with number and I am not talking about maths literacy good but pure maths good but when I added the weeks she had mention and tried to reconcile them with what was in my head the two simply did not make sense.
“I know this may not be the appropriate time but I have something to ask you! Please tell me if I am out of line?”
She asked me. I feared she was about to ask me about the baby daddy and I was not going to share that information with her.
I told her.
“This morning when your sister came to see you she was with Mbuso…”
I asked her not sure what she was talking about.
“I saw them kissing by the car and I am rather confused because I thought you were with Mbuso?”
I am not sure if she was asking me or inquiring but to say I was shocked is an understatement. I know my sister had said to me that they were getting along but I did not expect this.
“I think you confused, why would they be kissing? I am sure you saw something that you thought was something else!”
I told her trying to reassure both her and myself. I know she has tried to tell me that something was up but I did not expect it this fast. My sister was always that girl that made a guy wait till his balls turned blue and this would be out of character.
“Isn’t your sister married?”
She asked me again.
“She is no rather she was there are getting a divorce though. My sister only recently just met him and she is the type to wait!”
I told her but I think it came out wrong because by telling her my sister just met him it just sounded worse.
“Nope actually not hey!”
She told me.
“What do you mean?”
She could not dispute me on my sister. I must say I knew her better than anyone else so she must just relax before I relax for her.
“If she is going through a divorce then she wouldn’t wait. Most women who go through a break up want to punish the ex by moving on or sleeping with the next guy in a short space of time. It happens all the time. I won’t be surprised if she will rub it in her exes face the first chance she gets!”
Ezile warned me. I was not paying much attention because I knew she was right about that. How many people do you know who came out of long relationships and in a short space of time they had moved on with a brand new person.
“I would hope not though because …”
My voice trailed. This would be very awkward indeed. What was my sister thinking mara?
“I think you have visitors!”
Ezile said and walked to the door. How could she possibly have heard anything? I was impressed.
I asked her.
“Yup I am right and it’s the whole clan too!”
She said. I actually had not heard them and I think it’s because I was still a bit disorientated.
“Where are they?”
I asked her.
“They are walking towards the room now!”
She advised me and came to cover me properly. That was actually sweet of her if I must say myself. When you are in hospital often people don’t cover themselves well enough believe me I know.
“Please don’t tell them anything about the baby. I will tell everyone when I am ready.”
I asked her in a low voice as they walked in.
“Of course not! I am your doctor!”
She said with a smile. This was one secret I wanted to keep a while longer. I did not know who to tell and what if I wanted an abortion; you don’t want everyone knowing that you were pregnant. It’s embarrassing and no matter how liberal or open minded you are on the issue it’s something you need to keep private.
Ntheteng’s voice rang out. Oh wow they had brought the kid too. Kids should not visit people in hospital as far as I am concerned.
I said weakly. She ran in and gave me a hug. Behind her walked Simba, Mbuso and my sister. It was real it was happening. Although she was worried I could see the joy in her face. My sister glows like a pregnant woman when she is in love and even here on my deathbed I could see it.
“You scared us there!”
They said at the same time. I must say I was glad to see familiar faces.
“I am ok guys no worried I promise you!”
I told them as they stood next to my bed. My sister came and kissed me on the forehead and held my hand.
“I am so sorry. I really am. I should not have been fighting with you and now I almost lost you. I was so scared!”
She told me. Scared my ass! She was busy getting it on with Mbuso how could she be worried.
“When are you coming home? I miss you? I want to come and stay with you!”
Ntheti said loudly. She really did not like my sister and this is where kids need to have brakes!
“I will be back soon!”
“Good, this way you can marry my dad not this strange woman! I don’t like her and I know she is your sister but she just aint you!”
You could hear a pin drop in the room. I wished the ground could swallow me and I saw Simba clench his face.
“Ntheteng that’s mean you should not talk like that!”
Mbuso said thoroughly embarrassed. I don’t think she cared. Gone were the days when you knew that when you got home your mother would ask you to go break off a stick of that peach tree you love very much, one that is the same height as you, and she will teach you manners! You do that nowadays you will end up trending being told you are abusive. The clever blacks will even call social workers on you!
Simba and Ezile stepped back,
“Come little one let’s go outside and give the adults space!”
He said to her.
“I will see you now now…”
She said cheerfully and walked out. Simba was not even looking me in the eye.
“I am sorry!”
My sister said but my mind had moved on already. Shit! The maths was slowly clicking now. By my calculations I only had two options of father and both had their own complications.
Sfiso and Mbuso!
Life was pulling a joke on me I swear.
Sfiso and Mbuso!
One had rejected me and the other was well, he was seeing my sister!
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)
Thank you so much for reading my letter. I hope I find you all well.
I am 26 years old and my boyfriend of 6 months just proposed to marry me, ring and all. He is a doctor, has no kids and is loving. My fear is that we have only dated six months and it’s not long enough to have known someone. I love him but I am nervous. I was more like a rebound girlfriend because he just came out of a 7 year relationship where his former girlfriend cheated on him. My sister warned me that he could be marrying me to spite her and it’s something I have questioned too. That girl hurt him a lot and there are times when I feel as though he misses her. He does not talk about his past relationship which I respect but some of his friends don’t even know they broke up. I found some of her things at this place. I got angry and told him to get rid of them but they are still there. This was two months ago. On the long weekend he proposed to me in front of his family and friends. People cheered and so on but I could also see the whispered and the shock. It’s that thing where people say that the person loves someone else. It’s no joke I could feel it even in their congratulations. With his ex he had bought her a car and they were buying a house together.
He is a good guy and I will be dumb to lose him as I love him but how do I find out if he has moved on and I am not just a trophy to spite his ex.