Ok so I am told that violence begets violence. It’s true in a way because I am not one for violence. The problem
comes when diplomacy fails. As a man, I was taught that you fight for your family with everything you have. That is how I was raised. I remember my father always made sure that no harm came to our home and well it worked. As far as I could see it, Simon was not seeing me as a man if he thought he could speak to my wife behind my back. Yes today I will be reminded of how much I don’t own her and she can speak to whoever she wants when she wants but if she was here telling me that she has been asking him to stay away and failing that means I had enough cause to fight. Nigerian guys are bouncers for a reason because going with my neighbour would send a statement.
“Where are we meeting?”
He texted me. Even though I was not there with him I could feel his excitement at meeting my wife secretly. This just made me boil even further.
“Like I said by the Pumula shisanyama!”
I responded recalling what my wife had told him on the phone. The shops were close to where her sister stayed so I knew them.
“Ok cool but we could meet at your sisters so we can have some privacy like we used to back in the day!”
He responded. The way that annoyed me beyond words. He thought this was a booty call?
“No I don’t want to go to my sisters. Let’s meet where we agreed don’t change things now!”
I responded. At this stage I was chatting ad driving which made my neighbour a bit uneasy so I put the phone. We spoke a bit about soccer as the new premier league had started. That’s the beauty of men; we can talk about soccer or politics to strangers and be like best friends.
“I have never been this side of Jhb before. I always prefer to stay close to home,”
He said looking around. He was not as brave as he looked then because a person should always explore his new environment I think.
“This is new to me!”
“Is Nigeria like this?”
I asked him.
“Not really no. We are not as developed as you guys and they are a heck of a lot more people there than here!”
He told me. I knew that they had almost three times our population or more in a country that was physically smaller than others. Don’t be fooled it’s not entirely a bad thing if you consider England which practically half our size has more or less the same population than ours. The only difference is how they manage that population.
“You didn’t say where we are going?”
He said to me! I told him that we were going to the Voslo but were not going to take long. He did not really argue and funny enough I thought he would. Foreign people hardly ever want to end up in the townships because the small minded amongst us want to do them harm.
“Ok cool but we must not take long because my Mrs tends to over react if I take too much time out without telling her. Tonight we are supposed to be going out but I am tired!”
He told me. This gave me an opportunity to ask something I had always wanted to ask, I don’t know I was feeling brave I guess.
“I have to ask, how do you afford to go out every weekend and splurge like this. Often when I reach the end of the month I can’t even afford fuel for work!”
I asked him. I am not the only one who is curious about this most South African men are curious to know what their secret is, if they are not then they have no ambitions.
“You will be surprised I get asked that a lot. For me South Africans want to buy things to show off but they have no brains. Why would you buy a car you pay r8000 a month for, which devalues the moment it leaves the lot when you can buy something cheaper! My brother if you notice most Nigerian guys don’t buy expensive cars because it’s not an asset. We also don’t pay bond because most of us are not allowed in any case but most importantly we don’t pay tax because your government won’t even register us! This leaves us with a lot of capital we often can’t bank not because we are criminals but because we are not allowed to do things the right way!”
He gave me this long explanation. In my head I was thinking that because they don’t pay tax that means I was paying for them but I quickly realized that the reason why they don’t pay tax is because we did not allow them to like he said. It’s a tricky one really.
“That was a good explanation it seems like you always have it ready on your lips!”
I told him and he laughed.
“Think of it this way, most black South Africans won’t sweep the streets because it’s embarrassing but you will find a Nigerian even cutting hair! We came here to work and make money not show off to girls in our GTi’s!”
He explained and we both laughed. I had made him comfortable which I wanted because I needed him to have my back where we were going.
“Ok you have a point. You are focused on your goal whilst we have a lot of things to still do with that money!”
I responded to him, in no time we had arrived in Phumula. I remember saying I did not like coming to this place. It’s a chilled enough place but you always get the sense like everything in the East that something will happen. As we were meeting at the shisanyama there were many cars there. I already know his car and the last time I had seen it was when I saw him enter my apartment block. I drove past his car to park but he was not in it.
“Where are you? I am here!”
I sent him a message.
“I just went to the bathroom I will be back just now. Please wait for me by the car!”
He requested. This worked in my favour. I reached out at the back and took out my baseball bat. Ok fine I know it’s a cheese boy thing to do but I never said I was built for violence. I did not leave the car but instead waited for him to come back.
“What’s the bat for?”
My neighbour asked me I think for the first time now he was realizing what was going on. He was here to be my muscle.
“I have a guy who is bothering my wife and I need to take care of it!”
I told him sternly. I am sure deep down he knew he was there to be the muscle$
I saw him as he walked out and received a text saying,
“I am by the car where are you?”
I did not want him to go all the way to his car so I jumped out immediately. When he saw me he was quite startled that his fight or flight response confused him to slow him enough for me to get within range of him.
“I am here! You thought I wouldn’t catch you for coming after my wife?”
I asked him.
“Ah bra Vusi can’t we talk about this? That thing is not necessary!”
He said looking at my baseball bat! It was necessary to me I hit hard on the arm and he yelped in pain as he clutched his arm. His scream drew a crowd but I was not done!
“What makes it right for you to chase after peoples wives? Why do you want to destroy happy marriages?”
I could not use that bat anymore for fear of killing him. I gave it to my neighbour who was now there. Someone tried to intervene but seeing my neighbour, the giant that he was and also holding that bat made them step back. I took of my belt instead.
“Today I am going to teach you a lesson. No fists, I am going to belt you like the childish prick that you are!”
Leather on flesh is not a welcome sound. That sound it makes, I beat him up until I was tired. I think I gave him as many as 15 lashes. He tried to escape but you know how the crowd is when it gathers. Everyone seemed to support me because people are tired of broken marriages and homes. The women cheered louder than the men and many were chanting,
“Beat him! He must learn!”
Or something like that I was not really paying attention. When I was done I walked away and went to the car. I saw him limping to his completely and utterly humiliated. That was so satisfying.
“You should have told me that is what we here for!”
My neighbour said a bit annoyed at me for getting him into a fight.
“Would you have come if I did?”
I asked him.
“No I would not. I don’t like violence and it’s a stereotype against us in this country. Things never end well and besides men should fight fair not bring weapons!”
He told me.
“Do you think he is fighting fair when he sneaking around my wife? He won’t come back that’s for sure because he was disrespecting me by what he was doing! Now our debt is settled!”
He told me. I drove home quietly but with a smile on my face. I had never beaten up anyone in my life so for me this was significant. When we got home the big Nigerian left for his house. I sat in the car for a good hour before I walked into the house.
“Where did you go?”
Londiwe asked me angrily. She came and took her phone from me but I just ignored her.
“I hope you didn’t do anything stupid! He is not worth it and you should trust me to know I would never put us in harm’s way!”
She told me but I was not listening. I went straight to the bathroom and took a shower. When I came out of the shower Londiwe was standing on the phone with a look of shock on her face,
“Vusi what have you done? Nonjabulo just called me saying Simon is in hospital in critical condition! An ambulance took him from where he was beaten up by two men!”
She told me and what shocked me was not that he was in critical condition but that Nonjabulo already knew.
He was probably faking it because when I left he limped to his car, I saw him!
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)
Hi Bhut Mike
Thank you for your amazing work and the platform you have provided for us to get free advise without spending R4000 on a session.
Here goes nothing, i once wrote to you in 2015 about my issue of dating married men. I’d like to say after your advice i dumped the guy early last year and have been single by choice until recently. Now this is where the problem starts, I’ll call guy A “Gadaffi” and guy B “Tau”. Gadaffi and i find it so easy to communicate with each other, there’s never a dull moment when we together and honestly i thought the guy had a thing for me until he told me his Friend Tau likes me “like WTF”. So me been me i thought why not get to know Tau “i have nothing to lose anyways”. So now Tau and I are an item but the problem now is that we really don’t have that much in common. When i bought the book, the cover was eye catching but now that i’m reading it, yoo thixo bawo it’s boring as hell. Gadaffi and I are on another level though, we compatible with each it’s not even funny. Now he doesn’t want me to continue dating his friend and the worst part he wants me fir himself. I know there’s honour amongst guy’s and there’s a guy code. Even Tau can see the chemistry between Gadafii and me, he even asked me why can’t i be as relaxed with him as i am with Gadaffi. I just didn’t know how to answer that one.
Guys please help, i made a wrong decision and i’m stuck with it now.
Inlove with boyfriends friend