Young Employed and Single

YES 130

Throat sore

Voice coarse

Headache monumental

Heartache unbearable.

That is how best I can describe myself the following morning. I don’t remember if I slept because if I did it must have been sleep walking. I could not stop asking myself what would have happened if only I had come to see her. Would I have seen that something was wrong?


I said to my sister who was sitting in the corner in a foetus position. Uhm, foetus position, I mean she had her head in her knees.

“Did you sleep at all?”

I asked her.

“No I did not. How could I? I was hoping that I could so that I would wake up from this bad dream but it is not a dream!”

She told me. She was right. I had slept and walking to the realization that things had not changed made the pain come back and stab me ten times harder. Ah, the tears starting rolling down again. This time there was no Sfiso to hold me. I went and sat down on that cold hard floor next to my sister and even though I was crying I hugged her and told her,

“It was God’s will. She is alright where ever she is!”

I did not mean that at all because right now my anger was towards God and my sister expressed those words for me,

“What kind of God takes a mother from her child?”

She choked on her own tears and coughed. I guess it was too soon for me to use those words because even I felt the same anger. There was a knock on the door, it was Mam’ Dolly.

“I am sorry to wake you up so early girls but today is going to be a very busy day for us.”

She explained politely. She got side tracked a bit when I saw her looking longingly into my mother’s bedroom. I guess she like us hoped that my mother would walk out that door as she had always done for so many years but nothing. She did not walk out.

“Mam’ Dolly!”

I called out to her because that’s how far in her thoughts she had managed to lose herself.

“Yes, yes… Sorry!”

She said wiping away her tears then took out a hanky and blew her nose.

“I just don’t believe it. I can’t accept it.”

She said. You know when a person has been sick for a long time and you know that there is no hope, their death is painful but you accept that they had suffered enough so dying was probably the best outcome. We tell each other that they have rested. I think that we can all live with but when a person dies so sudden…in black culture…there was witchcraft involved! I mean I saw and spoke to my mother yesterday. She was not in a car accident or anything like that! She just died! What’s wrong with this picture?

“Ko Ko!”

A male voice shouted from outside. I did not recognize it immediately but Mam’ Dolly did and immediately stood saying,


It was the pastor, the one my mother had wanted to save me from the calling. I did not get up because I was too numb to move. Something had happened to me. All these people coming just made the situation worse as it made it true.

“I heard last night but I could not come because I was at the conference. What, what happened?”

He asked Mam’ Dolly at the door.

“You better come in, the girls are here!”

She said to him as she ushered him in. We both stood up when he stepped into the kitchen where we were sitting.

“My girls I am so sorry! I have known your mother forever and I am so sorry!”

He said to us by way of his condolence. We both shook his hand and my sister led him into the lounge.

“Have you started the funeral arrangements? What can the church do to help?”

He asked us politely. I know a lot of people criticize the church for its gossiping and being in your face business but if you come from a true black community you know how much the church can help to.

“We have only just started calling my relatives. Today I am going to go to the bank so that we can start doing all these things!”

I told him.

“I don’t mean to be forward but don’t you have a funeral policy. I have learned that it helps a lot at times like this!”

He explained to me. I hate telemarketers. I don’t know if I am the only one that feels like that and to this end I was a bit ashamed when I responded,

“No I do not have one. I never thought…”

I started to say but the words would not come out. They were stuck in my throat.

“We know thought she would die!”

My sister said holding my hand for comfort. That reassurance steadied me but it also made me realize that she too did not have a life insurance.

“It’s not a problem. I have some money put away so will go to the bank and start making arrangements. I don’t even know where to start!”

I told him and indeed I did not. Where does one even start when arranging a funeral? I had an uncle who was coming from Newcastle and I hoped he would do all the running around.

“Don’t worry about that child we will guide you there!”

The pastor said thoughtfully. I was happy to hear that because I really did not know where we would start.

“I suppose I can find a caterer for the funeral!”

I said thoughtfully.

“A caterer? For a funeral?”

Mam’ Dolly asked incredulously. I was taken aback by her indignation because I thought that was common sense.

“We are not in the suburbs. Do you know how many times your mother went to help cook and peel for other peoples loved ones? They will want to return the favour. Trust me when I say it will not go down well with people here if you get a caterer!”

She explained to me and the pastor agreed with her. I guess I was not thinking straight.

“Ok then we shall see. I need to go to the bank to see what I can arrange.”

I told them standing up getting ready to leave. My sister said she would be fine with them. I went to my bank but the branch in Sandton City. I have always felt that they give better service there.

“Thank you for coming and I have gone through your account but am afraid I have a bit of bad news!”

The bank consultant was telling me a few minutes after my arrival.

“What is the problem?”

I asked her.

“I am afraid you have no money!”

She declared but with a rather baffled look.

“What do you mean I have no money? In my account I should have over 50k?”

I asked the bank lady.

“Yes ma’am you do have that but there is a hold on your account. Let me call the manager for you because I don’t know what it means!”

She said. Have you noticed that most bank managers and white and usually female. I am not being racial here but it’s been my experience. The lady came and asked me to her office.

“What seems to be the problem ma’am?”

She asked me very politely.

“I am trying to withdraw money and it tells me I have a hold on my account. I have an emergency!”

I told her.

“Ok let me look at what the hold is it’s probably something we can fix. I hope you have your proof of residence and identity document with you. These FIRCA people have been on us lately!”

She said to me trying to be pleasant. I gave her my she could access my account and the she made a hissing sound.

“I am sorry there is nothing I can do. You put your account on hold because you have a pending large deposit. This will take about 5 working days at least to clear.”

She explained to me. It’s not like I did not know that, I did.

“Can’t I get a loan or something? My mother passed away last night I need the money!”

I told her. She looked at me with pity in her eyes.

“I don’t think you can and I don’t think any other bank would give you right now. I am really sorry for your loss; I don’t even know what to say. You see when banks put your account on hold you almost look like a person of interest as they do background checks on your finances. You are frozen out. Did someone not advise you on this?”

She asked me curiously of which I had been advised. I humbly stood up and walked out of the bank. My tears, they were like coming from an endless fountain. I could not contain it. I had money yet here I was dead broke. My sister had not said anything about money and I had wanted to avoid asking her because of her separation stress. I had always thought my family will rely on me when it comes to such problems as I was the successful one but guess what, I was broke!

“Are you able to raise money for the funeral, the bank won’t give me money!”

I asked my sister when I got into the car in the parking lot.

“I have already tried but I am broke. I am even in debt. I can try getting a loan but with the separation now it could be hard!”

She explained to me.

“O God what are going to do, we have no money!”

My sister cried on the phone.

She was right.

*********** The End**************

Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)

Dear Mike

Thank you for reading my letter. I was not sure if I had the courage to send this but here goes.

When my sister died 3yrs ago she left me with her son to rise. Our parents died when we were young so it had always been just the two of us. I am 44 now and she left me with her 13 year old daughter at the time. I had a son of my own who was 14 years old. Today they are 16 years old and 17 years old respectively. It is just us as we have very few relatives and I have another daughter who is younger. The daughter was an only child. In February I went to the funeral of a colleague out of town and then I came back early because the transport taking us back broke down and we could not continue the journey to the Eastern Cape. I found my son and daughter (for that is what she is now) having sex. I am not talking about after it was done but during the deed. I was traumatized. I was freaked out beat and I beat those two kids up as though they were strangers to me. I told them to go report me to the police if they wanted to because I was not going to accept that in my house. They did not even have condoms. I then took them both for tests and so on but it turned out they had been having sex for over a year right under my nose. I cried so much because I felt as though I should have noticed this from the beginning. They did not stop I caught them again twice more and now I don’t know what to do. Beating them failed, I took them to therapy and that’s not working so what should I do now? There is no more laughter in the house. No one talks; when I walk in they walk out etc. The youngest is starting to ask questions but what do I do?

Please advise me before I have an ever bigger scandal on my hands!

Thank You


32 thoughts on “YES 130

  1. These children are first cousins. White kind of nyolz are these? Its incest. I think you should send one of them to boarding school and organize therapy just for your sisters child but kids who have suffered a major deal with things differently

  2. Haai plz man they are cousins not siblings so no incest there BUT they have been brought up as brother and sister in the same house for years so yes it’s horrible and I pity u. I suggest you sit them down and explain to them like adults the consequences of their actions. They wana fuck like adults then they just be mature about it. Let’s be honest no matter what you do they will find a way to do it so now rather educate them on this. Tell them by no means is it right in your culture and that secondly why the fuk they not using protection!! Haai bloody kids wana act like adults and then get pregnant.

    1. It is incest sisi…these people are blood related, my sister’s kid is my kid, and her kids are mine. Let’s not be confused by the western culture with this cousin nonsense. These people are brother and sister, and its worse in this situation they grew up with one mother biological or not, she is the mother.

  3. Yoooh ay ngathi oLungile bathakathiwe xem hha! Ncono aboleke kuNthabiseng or Sfiso. Mara at this day and age ukhona umuntu ongena funeral cover policy?

    Pretoria, wish ngiphelelwe amazwi angazi nokuthi ngithini yazi, isimo okuso sinzima kakhulu and abantu abahlobene akulula ukuthi bahlukaniseke that’s why kungamele baqalise nje ukuthandana, wish I wish uthole usizo soon

    1. Especially a self proclaimed, educated and modern woman…udlala ngathi uLungy, uzosebenzisa her savings for a funeral bese iphela yonke…mncm this girl can be dom sometimes.

  4. Lungie bathong o nkutlwisa botlhoko shame… no money. no policy. nothing. Simba to the rescue tlhe Rra Mike.

    pta… tell them to pack and leave the house since they want to act like idiots. brother and sister, same genes, same surname, like what the heck is wrong with bana ba? at this age? how the heck did all this start?
    Brother, to sister; sister i want to kiss you
    Sister to brother: brother i want to kiss you too, lets have sex…
    eeeeeeeeooooow!!!!! sis

  5. @ Pretoria according to my culture they are siblings. Ngwana wa mmane le wa Mamogolo ke bana ba motho. Akere mmane o tshwana le mama..

    Ke manyala. Isa o 1 ko boarding school. Far from the other. Ko Eastern Cape.

  6. This just reminded me of most funerals I went to…thanks buti Mike, this feels so’s like am with lungi her sister n mam Dolly.Good work Sir…….

  7. Thiza wam ndaske ndanamasikizi yile letter!Firstly let me ask where are the fathers because you are saying nothing about them if I read correctly. Why not get them involved maybe have your son stay with his dad so that you can take care of your sisters child. Right now I feel that it is important that these two are separated otherwise kuzomithiswana apha.

  8. Thixo Wam!!! these kids kodwa. Hayi beating them wont work sisi nam andazi but maybe separate them another must be with you (maybe the girl) another can be Cape Town very far (maybe boy)

  9. Thanks Mike… guess it will be the mighty Simba the Lion to the rescue…
    @Pretoria – mmmhmmm, this takes the meaning of problems and stress to another level. Send your sisters’ kids to their fathers’ side and speak to your kids, explaining how this is wrong on a cultural level, aweeeh Nkosi, don’t even know what to say…

  10. Have them arrested, do it on a friday so that they spend the entire weekend in the holding cells and let them answer to a court, however since they are minors you will have to get involved, tell the magistrate how you have tried counselling.
    Might sound evil but a different perspective on how wrong what they are doing is might burst their crazy bubble.

  11. Guys never get a person arrested out of spite – ppl get raped there, and umfakele ukumpanisha and when they come back on Monday there are destroyed, and possibly infected ngeHIV. Never ever guys!

  12. Kwaze kwanzima I jst can’t start to imagine wat u gng thru n angazi wat I wud do eyi mayb u should sit them down n ask them y dey doing dis n if dey understand how wrong it is n the brother needs to understand that he should be the one looking out for the sister n nt the one chowin her n as for the gal does she think her mother wud have liked wat she is dng yhoo angazi ngempela

  13. Lungi bandla no funeral cover…. But didn’t their Mom have one? I know our mothers know the importance of having such things so surely their Mom did have Cover bhut Mike she’s not as ignorant ad her kids.
    Lungi must also get a loan from her Lawyer she knows whats going on so she will help and didnt Lungi Mention having R5000 with her to spend on her roadtrip… That should get her started on a few things I think.

    Pretoria… Talk to their Fathers and have them intervene they might help you out.
    I always say this thing of first cousins is crazy white people ‘s things..
    If kids are raised as siblings they know where to draw the line.

  14. Thank you Mike … great work as always
    Lungis mom should have masigcwabisane and that street donation kinda funeral club.

    Pta: I think you need to sit them down one by one they all 3 of you. Reason with them coz separating them might make them more rebellious wanting to find way to each others arms. Waze wazalelwa yinja endlini. Nxese. All the best.

  15. eissh but Lungi’s aunt did say that the money is cursed and she shouldn’t accept it. She should ask Sfiso for help or uNthabiseng.

  16. I think it depends on what your culture is cos in some african cultures you are permitted to marry your cousin. I know the Pedi people do that, it is said that dikgomo di buwela le shakeng. Not sure if it applies to kids from aunts but I assume it would be the same if one can marry their uncles kids.

    So based on the above I would then conclude that it is not incest depending on their culture.

    1. if her culture allowed it im sure we wouldnt be reading this letter and she wouldnt be so distraught , so no this is first grade incest Mika .
      and bear in mind these kids come from the same womb, my sisters child is my child phela
      this is like sleeping with your brother yehheni jehova ngingayini …

  17. Lungy and her sister didn’t cover their one and only parent???????? Kwabona nje banawo amacover??? Maybe her mother had her own or better still her Aunt probably covered her coz clearly her two daughters didnt’ think to do so.

  18. For a modern, successful, working woman Lungi was quite ignorant by not covering her only parent bathong! I love your work bra Mike! Love it! Its such an eye opner.

    Those kids are blood related which qualifies as incest. The biggest problem is that they probably have deep feelings for eachother by now and no amount of belting will stop them. I suggest family therapy. Where you all lay it on the table so everyone gets everyones perspective and take it from there. Boarding school has holidays. They will come home and pick up where they left off so i dont see it as a solution.

  19. Shuu….no funeral policy…funds frozen, mathata , I feel for Lungi shame. I can just imagine her frustration. Where is Marriam am sure Lungi’s mom told her to tell her children where to find the funeral cover documents and her will. Surely she must have had one….I mean she was forever complaining that she was sick.
    Pretoria….Askies Sisi. I think youshould sit them down and explain to them how this is wrong and how it makes you feel and how important it is to use protection# not that you are condoning what they are doing. I think this shall pass as they are still teens and are in the experimental stage. The scary part is that she might fall pregnant…not to mention HIV and Aids. I hope they come around. Please don’t send anyone away it might make matters worse.

  20. Eish Lungi no funeral cover vele,for a modern woman yah neh…Tnx bra Mike.
    QnA:Pretoria wat ur going through is so devastating.I dnt hv any advice for u,jst pray n b strong for dose kids.Dey really r tryin to destroy u,even though dey dnt realise

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