I keep saying my mother surprises me even if I know her so well. So she had in her geniuesness decided that going with my wife suited her so she had done just that. At least now I could get the answers I needed since my wife was being cagey about this whole thing. People with traditional values in a modern society can be a pain at times. This failure to want to listen or hear new ideas is what keeps some people backward and Londiwe was just the same.
“So you went with her?”
I asked my mum incredulously. I know she was pushy but I also know that my wife was stubborn so this must have been an uncomfortable experience for her.
“Yes I went. You know she can’t exactly say no to me. Anyway the good news is that she pregnant and the bad news is that she will have me for a mother law.”
My mum said with clear joy in her voice!
“Why would you even say that?”
I asked her because it sounded wrong.
“Simple reason really, because she will never see that child! I will be there every day and I will raise her for the both of you!”
She said excited. My mother was ambitious indeed if she thought for one moment that Londiwe will stand for that! You know when you hear good news it’s always better when someone else confirms it. Well my mother was confirming it now for me and it felt like double the joy.
“Mum does this mean you will stop giving her problems. This will be your grand child and if you are fighting with her you will have problems!”
I warned her. This was my chance to maybe create a peace that was sustainable between the two women in my life.
“What are you on about? Your wife loves me! You are the one who makes it seem as though we are fighting when reality is there is nothing wrong with our relationship!”
She said in what I am sure was sarcasm. She knew that my wife did not like her but I don’t think that bothered her much. My mother’s problem with my wife was that she thought my wife should be more grateful that she was with me than she shows.
“Thank you mum, bye mum!”
I said to her as I hung up. Hopefully I would not have to talk to her again today because I had had enough for one day. When I got home my wife was sitting in the dark. You know in winter it gets dark quickly and it was after six already. I even thought she was not home.
“Why are you sitting in the dark?”
I asked her a bit surprised. I also realized immediately that she had not cooked not that I expected her too in her state. Goodness I now needed to learn what it is that pregnant women could and could not do. I was going to have a hysterical pregnancy that’s for sure.
“What is wrong with you?”
She asked me when I turned on the light.
“Do you want the light off? Are your eyes sore?”
I asked her innocently.
“No they are not sore and no I am not talking about the lights, I am talking about you and your mother!”
She said angrily.
“Whoa I had nothing to do with that!”
I started to explain but she was not hearing any of that. She had something to say and over the years I have learned that when she must say something rather let it be said and move on.
“I think I need you to understand that your mother needs to stop intervening in our relationship! I complain all the time but you don’t seem to take me seriously. Today the doctor was supposed to be a private moment for me but no, you had to have come with!”
I listened attentively and let her finish.
“I am sorry. I will talk to her!”
I told her at the end of that. She was breathing heavily and I think it was out of anger.
“Can I come and hug my wife and mother to be now?”
I asked her. She looked as though she was about to say no but then she smiled and responded,
“Ok cool but that does not mean I am happy with this baby! Vusi love your mum is always there and it has to stop. It embarrasses me when she is there because she takes over everything!”
She explained to me. Someone wants told me that the battle between daughters and mothers in law is as old as time itself. I did not expect that this feud will end anytime soon so it was not something I could fix in a day.
“I will work on it. I don’t want you stressing like this especially so I will do everything in my power to fix it ok”
I reassured her and I am sure she just rolled her eyes at me for indeed it’s something she had heard before.
“Uhm so why is there no food?”
I asked her. I won’t lie I was hungry and it had been a long day.
“I thought since you were so happy yesterday I would take you out to celebrate, my treat!”
She said and that took me by surprise. She wanted to take me out when I should have been taking her out.
“Oh ok cool where would you like us to go?”
I asked her.
“It’s my treat so all you have to do is choose where you want to go!”
She said pulling out of the hug. She was ready to go because she picked up her bag immediately and walked towards the do.
“Are you coming dude I am hungry?”
She said to me standing at the door.
“Oh I see this is happening now!”
I said teasingly as I walked out.
We did not go far, we went to the mall.
“I am craving prawns, can I have prawns?”
She asked me when we got there. I hated prawns but it was not my pallet, it was hers.
“Love it’s your party you can have whatever you want!”
Normally we don’t buy prawns because sea food is often dodgy in restaurants.
Dinner was nice. I think it’s been a while since my wife and I just had a good time. The restaurant was virtually empty apart of course from a few white couples spluttered around.
“I think we ought to have a date night, especially now before the kids come. What do you think?”
I asked her.
“That would be fine but you said financially we are not so good right now so I think it’s not important. Date night is every night so I am cool with that!”
She told me considerately. Unfortunately as a man it’s hard to swallow that you can’t provide what you want when you want for your family so I stood my ground on the topic.
“Nonsense we will make plans. We always do and a few hundred here and there won’t kill anyone’s budget right!”
I insisted she laughed because she could see what I was doing. The white manager came to us and said,
“You two are a beautiful couple!”
Of which Londiwe blushed profusely. She is so beautiful when she does that. He said this as we walked out holding hands with of course a doggie bag in hand.
“I want a job now.”
Londiwe told me casually before we even got far from the entrance.
“What do you mean you need a job I can handle things.”
I reassured her.
“No love I am not saying you cannot but I can’t sit and wait for you at home all day. I need something I can do!”
She told me.
“You not going to like this but the best bet at getting you a job is through my mother. Are you ready for that drama?”
I asked her. Look if I can be honest I was hoping she would back down now that it’s through my mother.
“It’s ok even if it’s through your mother. We are starting a family and we need to both be stable. Its common sense. Even if you were a millionaire CEO I would still want to have a job!”
She said to me. I suppose that’s the way things should be but her timing was wrong. Which company will hire you knowing pregnant especially now that they love to come. This woman just knew how to create situations. The car was in underground parking. We went down the elevator to it. I did not see the two men coming from behind us and before I knew it I felt something cold on my back. I had never had a gun on me but trust me you know how a gun feels when it’s on.
“What do you want?”
I asked immediately and I was scared. Joburg thugs shoot first nowadays and ask questions later.
“Just walk quietly and don’t make a noise otherwise
“Awulethi isi keya wena inja! Sheshisa ungazo moshela isi kati!”
He said angrily but in a harsh whisper. He had just asked for my car keys basically and he was not playing.
“Give him what he wants?”
She pleaded with me. I did not hesitate I was not even going to argue. I handed the keys to him and then something hit me at the back of my head.
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)
I hope this finds you well and greetings to all the readers.
I have been married to my wife for 7 years now and in that time I have cheated on her a few times. I know the next thing will be that I am wrong but these church marriages don’t work. My father is the pastor of a big church and as his son I was supposed to marry from within. I fought against this to such an extent the story even came out in the papers. Now I find myself in a loveless marriage with a woman who could not even be bothered whether I come home at night or not. All she wants is to be known as the wife of me. I feel it’s unfair that she has to live through that but she is adamant. I have asked to leave the church and my responsibilities there just so I can be happy but the family unit is so close knit I risk being thrown out of that too. In our church divorce is allowed but not without hectic marriage counseling. I know I don’t want her so that’s the starting point and now she won’t grant me this divorce. My father says I am irresponsible and that they are doing this for me but I don’t agree.
Is there anyone who can advise me on how best I can get through to everyone that this is best for everyone?