Did Mbuso and I have sex? I am curious to know because the dude did not even manage one stroke. He got in and he got
out. That was that. If it was a guy who got inside you once and ejaculated immediately when you sit down with your girls would you call that sex? I am sure you would laugh at him and come to the conclusion that it was not sex at all. I don’t know why that was the first thought on my mind when that wine glass broke but it was. I am not saying I was not freaked out but my first thought was Mbuso and him standing there his ‘pipi’ standing at attention like a security guard at inspection time. His dick was still up even now.
“What the fuck was that Lungi?”
He asked me and I think this was my first time hearing him use a curse word.
“You asking me? I was here too I don’t know what it was!”
I told him and I was not lying either I really did not know.
“After the story you told me and that happens, maybe I am on edge but just before that happened there was a cold draft, just for a second though and boom!”
He said trying to explain the obvious. I was not going to say I felt the draft because I had not but I am sure by now his mind was playing tricks on him.
“Why are you not scared? You did not even jump up! I did?”
He asked me. Indeed I had not jumped up but how could I after having been thrown off his dick just when I was about to have a good time. This was so not on. I wanted some and now these nasty people were messing up my vibe.
“Just because I did not freak out the same way you did does not mean that I am not afraid as well. I am scared every day. I don’t know if I making the right decisions or not!”
I told him and he just stared at me.
“I am going home. I told you I will support you and I will but I am not going to lie if I say this did not freak me out. I need to think!”
He said and gathered his clothes in a bunch.
“Mind the glass!”
I told him which made him remember to put on his shoes. It was so weird. When he got to the door he peeped outside and naked as the day he was born he tiptoed to his house.
“Are fucking kidding me?”
I said looking up to the heavens then I realized that if it was my ancestors do you look up or down. We grew up being told heaven is up there and hell down there so where are the ancestors!
I put on my gown and started to clean the mess they had made. Thank heavens there was not that much wine left in the bottle so it was not a lot and it did not stain anything. Every lady knows red wine on clothes is like a nightmare.
I called my aunty.
“I thought you were angry at me and did not want to talk to me!”
She asked me.
“I am angry yes but I need to see you. Can I come now?”
I asked her. I was actually very scared now.
“No you cannot come. It’s not safe for women to drive at night these days. Rather wait till its day time. Are you ok?”
She asked me at the end of that after denying me to come.
“No I am not ok. I am so scared right now.”
I told her.
She asked. I know you can’t tell your mother about sex but now was not the time for modesty. I told her exactly what happened and she listened.
“I don’t know what happened but I can assure you that I have never heard of anything like that. Your ancestors are not ghosts. It could be something that came with the guy but that is not them. Come on now Lungi you should know better, now you are saying your ancestors are watching you have sex? Does that even sound ok to you?”
She asked me. That’s just it I did not know what to look out for as this was not normal. Yeah I said it and I knew it too.
“Does he not have his own issues?”
She asked me when I had not replied. For the first time I looked at it from a different perspective. What was she telling me? I was so convinced that it was them because I had come to associate my bad luck with them and their games.
“I don’t know if he does but I know him well enough!”
I did not want to tell her about him because I did not want him judged and secondly I wanted to find out if this whole ancestor thing was real.
“Tomorrow come and I will consult for you. Come very early though because I have an interview in Rosebank at 12.”
She said casually.
I asked her and she laughed at my obvious shock.
“Did you think Sangoma’s don’t work?”
Sarcastically. I felt embarrassed at my own ignorance.
I woke early the next day because I wanted to get rid of this. I wanted the curse or whatever dark thing was following me to be over and done with. I wanted it gone. Goodness I wanted it gone so badly.
“Aunty I am on my way!”
I told her on the phone.
“Its 6am are you crazy it’s too early!”
She asked me but I insisted I was coming anyway. I did not want this an hour longer than was necessary. When I got to her house she had just finished bathing.
“Give me a second!”
She called out after letting me in. That second felt like hours but when eventually came in I was ready for whatever it is we needed to do.
“How are you aunty?”
I asked her politely as she sat down. She just looked at me and shook her head smiling.
“I am ok but more importantly are you ok?”
She asked me.
“No am not. I am freaking out. What happened yesterday was scary and embarrassing!”
I told her.
“Your mother called me by the way.”
She responded totally changing the subject on me. I won’t lie I was really surprised by that.
“Are you sure my mother called you?”
I asked her very sceptical.
“Yes. She gave me her blessing to help you with this. I thought you knew. I was very surprised by the call because after what happened at the hospital I honestly thought that I had lost my sister.”
She told me. Why had my mother not told me about this?
“Did she apologize for what happened?”
I asked her.
“Yes she did. She even sent me via text let me show you…”
She said taking out her phone.
“No its fine I don’t want to see it sits between the two of you. I am just glad that the two of you are going to have peace. Wow, who could have thought!”
I said throwing my hands in the air. I was really excited now.
“Now let’s get to the business at hand. I went ahead and threw some snuff on your behalf. It troubled me a lot greatly what you said so I could not sleep!”
I was glad she had taken that initiative. Imagine if she was scared then that means I was scared too.
“What did you find? Can I fix it?”
I ask her immediately. I wanted to know how to get out of this mess. I was no longer happy knowing I was being pursued by spirits and only these funny things. How did I even allow myself to open that door really? I was so educated but so stupid.
“There is nothing that cannot be fixed Lungi but you have to want to fix it in the first place! You have a lot of enemies and some are more powerful than you think.”
She warned me. Is this not what all Sangoma’s say though. They threaten you with what they have an idea is happening in your life. With women, we all love to hear that there is another woman who hates us or rather does not wish the best for us because guess what, we also have people we don’t wish the best for. With me it was Nicolene of course.
“There is a woman that is fighting against you. I am not sure if its jealousy or if she is warning you. You have met her but not quite met her. That part I was not sure of. I suppose it means if you have met her you have not seen her true colours.”
She started to explain. I was so confused.
Was Mbuso seeing someone else?
“I am not done. The ancestors also told me that the thing you seek most is also close and that is a husband right?”
She asked me. I had never told my aunt I was looking for a man. That one I was certain of. Had my mother told her? Yeah my mother told her. That’s how she knew. I did not show her my mistrust of this but listened attentively.
“A stranger will be at your doorstep today. He is the one.”
She told me.
“Huh? I don’t understand. What time will this stranger be there?”
I asked her stupidly.
“I obviously don’t know all that but from everything I gather you will meet your husband at your door today!”
When I left my aunt’s house I was so confused. This is definitely not what I had expected. I wanted to go the shops but having been told that my husband would meet me at my doorstep meant that I wanted to go home and nothing else. It’s all I wanted. I was not going to order any take out today because what if that guy on a dee-dwing-dwing (small motorcycle) was the one who became that stranger. I was nervous and because I liked things I was also anxious and excited. This felt like an adventure but like with all things me, nothing ever goes according to plan. There was no one there and for seven hours, yeah I counted no one called me or knocked on my doorstep.
“Lungi what are you doing?”
I asked myself out loud when I looked in the mirror.
“Are you crazy?”
I asked myself. I took my bag and decided to go out and go get some food.
When I got to the door I opened it and got the shock of my life.
There was a guy standing there and I knew him.
“Hell to the fuck no!”
I cursed out loud dropping my bag.
I shut the door!
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto
You are gifted. Thank you for the daily dose
I’m a 22 year old girl and I think I push away every guy I date because apparently I want to be the man in the relationship. My ex boyfriend used to complain that I think I’m the man and it’s either my way or the high way. My current boyfriend (23) once sat me down and said I should stop trying to be the man and let him be the head and that I should play my part as his future wife. I agreed but argued that although he’s the head I’m the neck and therefore the head can’t move without the neck. The other day we quarreled over something and I told him to sort it out, he said he would but me being me after two days I took matters into my own hands which led to him telling me that I’m disrespectful and that I undermine his authority. I believe in 50/50 in a relationship but he told me he has the last say and if I have a problem with that I can leave. I really love him but I’m not about to bite my tongue and become a yes girl.
How do I let him be the man without him feeling like I’m undermining him? Do I have to go back to how our grandmothers agreed to everything and didn’t have a say?