I want to categorically state that I have never been white for a single day in my life. I have never had long flowing
hair, I have never been sun burnt and I have never not had a bum. I have never experienced white privilege nor have I ever had educated black people like Maimane stand up to defend me when I am racist and a bigot (Helen Zille) whilst they do everything they can to shun everything else that’s black and not privileged. Sigh. That is my story. What I am is black and I am speaking as a proud black person even now when I say this, black people, we love short cuts in life! Yho Shem and it’s not a good thing! In fact much of our failure in life comes from these shortcuts and you can go all the way back to when they took our land pshhh! I am very certain if there was short cut to Heaven it would have been renamed KwaHeaven Unit J! Hawema! If we can pay a bribe we will and often we never think of the consequences. You cannot expect to make money on something you haven’t earned. The reason why we blame the government is because we want handouts on things we have not worked for and earned. I look at myself now; I paid a bribe at the police to get out of jail so that I did not have to face any consequences. Note I was 100% innocent and if anything me facing the law would have not only vindicated me but actually worked in my favour. However, because I saw the shortcut as a better option at the time I forgot to look at the bigger picture.
“Is this bad?”
I asked Nthabiseng but already I had scolded myself for having messed up.
“It damn well is! I can’t believe that you did this!”
“It’s a good thing I have you as my lawyer then because you can fix this right? You can come up with something?”
I know I have put this as a question but I was actually not asking her I was telling her. Ok back to my black people tirade, when you pay for a service, whether it’s a friend or a stranger you must always expect excellence and results in your favor. Watch any TV show and you will see how people bend over backwards for their clients.
“No need to be rude!”
She said in a snappish tone.
“I don’t mean to be. You are my friend I know but it was you who said that there is a time to be a friend and a time to be my lawyer. Right now I need my lawyer with solutions!”
I told her sternly but politely. Eish, that’s another of our black traits. If I am a relative or a friend, I expect favours from you if you are in a profession that can benefit me. I forget that you too need to eat. If you try and highlight this I will stop talking to you, tell everyone you are proud and think you are better. Did I miss something? Where is it written that being a friend means I must expect freebies? I was paying her firm on retainer meaning I should get my return.
“I didn’t say I can’t fix it but I am worried that it could inadmissible in court when the time comes. Don’t take this lightly it’s a serious matter and you could go to jail on those grounds alone. Did you consider what would happen if your former bosses pursued the matter and asked the police why they did not arrest you when the charge had been already made? Think about that before you tell me to fix messes like this!”
She said fighting back at my remark and remarkably so because again the short cut thing came back to haunt me. She was right!
“Do you think I can be arrested again?”
I asked her mouth open wide open which again was a dumb question. It’s amazing how we only call corruption if we are not benefitting from it. I had committed a crime and yes we can blame the policeman all we want but who is the person paying it avoid doing the right thing for whatever thing we did.
“Look I don’t mean to scare you if whoever made the first attempt is determined then yes if I was them I would follow up,”
She said. My head felt like it was spinning.
“We are ahead of the curve though because we are expecting it but this could affect our case.”
She said by way of warning. I was not ready for this, no ways. When I left her office I went home straight. I could not stop scolding myself though but would I really have wanted to sleep in the hospital.
“Hey love it’s me, are you available for lunch?”
I got a text from Sfiso. He had never texted me before actually.
“No I am unfortunately. Am going through something right now and I don’t think I will even be able to swallow.”
I responded via text and immediately he responded. I could hear he was driving.
“Did you text me whilst driving?”
I asked him sounding sanctimonious! I am not a big fan of it and it’s dangerous.
“Yes I did. Don’t worry I was on a stretch of highway that had me alone!”
He explained himself.
“So that makes it right?”
I asked him.
“Ok maybe not but this is not about me. What’s wrong? Are you angry at me because I did not call back yesterday? If so then I blame the network. You know how it is in small towns like Nelspruit. Just to call you I had to climb my neighbour’s tree for a fee!”
He said cracking a joke. Today however the joke was not funny because I was falling apart. It was appreciated yes the attempt but the timing was definitely not.
“Cool. I am not in a good space!”
I said coldly.
“Send me your location so I can come comfort you and maybe offer words of wisdom!”
He offered. You know what; funny and humorous guys are really nice when the going is good. The problem comes when it comes to serious matters. Would you really trust the class clown to lead you into battle?
“No thank you. I want to be alone.”
I told him. I wanted to be alone. I needed to think. I needed solutions not jokes.
“Ok then I won’t force you but the reason why you in trouble now is because you tried to think alone the first time and still look were you got!”
He said callously.
“What first time? You don’t even know the story!”
“I know I don’t but if you are in this much of a bad space over something you caused then you should be bouncing off ideas. I am just saying.”
He said calmly as he could see I was getting annoyed.
“Just send the pin and stop being angry at someone trying to help!”
He asked and dropped the phone. The other reason I did not want him to come to my house was because all my love interests had come here already. This place was not sacred anymore. It was like a brothel and I was the only courtesan in it. I even felt dirty. I was not sending the pin. I did not want him exposed and have Mbuso say another guy. I fell asleep. Towards the evening, I think I had slept through nightmare to nightmare there was a loud knock on my door. I think it was around three, it was hot and you know that feeling soon after you wake when you still dazed and don’t even know if it’s the next day or not, that’s how I felt. I groggily walked to the door and opened without even asking who it was. When things are going wrong for you it truly never seems to stop pouring. The two men, a white one and a black one standing at my door took out their badges.
“Good afternoon maam I am Mbilahelo Mudau and this is my partner Scott Davies. We from IPID maam, can we come in?”
One of the joys of being educated and well read is that usually you know all these things and what IPID is. If you don’t know then you haven’t been watching the South African story unfold closely. IPID is the Independent Police Investigative Directorate which is police who investigate other police for corruption. They were here, at my house.
“No you can’t come in. I don’t know who you are!”
I told him.
“We are the police maam!”
The white officer said.
“A police man with no uniform?”
I asked him.
“We all don’t wear uniform!”
The black cop said obviously annoyed at such a stupid comment.
“Does your car have blue lights?”
I asked cheekily.
“Are you serious?”
It was quite hot outside. He looked very familiar, too familiar actually. You know when you meet someone you recognize but you know have never met before its weird. I could not place him but I swear I knew this guy.
“Well I can’t let you in, I am a single woman alone and you are South African Police!”
I told him.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
The white cop asked very annoyed by that comment.
“Exactly that, you can’t be trusted. I am sorry, go come back with the boys in blue otherwise get off my doorstep!”
I told him defiantly. He literally turned red in front of me.
“We are investigating a case of bribery at Germiston Police Station that was caught on camera!”
TMbilahelo said ignoring my response. Even his voice sounded familiar. I stood there in total shock. This was Fikile Mbalula’s doing because now all of a sudden the police had energy. South African police are known to lack it so how is it that in a space of two days I had been questioned twice, once by SAPS now IPID?
“Did you see me at any point bribe anyone in your so called video?”
I asked them because I know that it would be impossible to have been seen.
“No maam our facts our simple, you came in the back of a van meaning you had been arrested. In fact you had cuffs on, there is no file of you having been arrested which is irregular and next thing you are walking out?”
“So how did you find me if there was no record of me?”
I asked him?
“It was a tip off from a concerned citizen and he said he does not mind being named. A certain Mr. Van Zyl?”
What did I say about messing with white privilege? Two complaints dealt with immediately by the police yet they can’t tell us who killed Senzo Meyiwa sies!
Mbilahelo Mudau where did I know you from?
****** The End*******
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)
Thank you for reading this. I have been contemplating writing this to you for a long time.
I dated a guy for about 9 months. He was the most amazing person I ever dated and he treated me right. He lived in a different town but every weekend he would come even if it was just to spend the afternoon. I always suspected he had a girlfriend and also had that feeling that he wanted to tell me about that girlfriend. Unfortunately I found out on my own the truth and was angry and I dumped him. Now, the guy was close friends with my younger sister so much so that when she gave birth (during us dating) she made him the God father of her daughter and me, God Mother. I met him through her. They are pretty close even now and she is married even to someone else. He takes care of his God daughter, buys her gifts and the sort. Through my sister I found out that he is single now and also that she has been trying to get us back together. The guy of it is really a nice guy and successful and life is what it is. It’s almost like Sfiso in YES. I was hurt by him before but frankly speaking I have not been treated that right by any man I have ever dated. I am socially awkward meaning I am an introvert and my sister did not want us to date in the first relationship because of that, refused anything to do with us. Now she is championing this. Recently I had no phone and she gave me her second phone as I was expecting interview calls. It’s where I found their conversations where she demanded to know why he never told me he was in a relationship. The guy explained his side and it’s genuine. I do feel betrayed by my sister but now she has made me start thinking about him and I cannot stop. He says in their texts that he regrets what he did but in the same breathe asks her what he was supposed to do because we vibed and liked each other. He told her that because I was so quiet it killed any chance of a real thing at the time. I am very quiet naturally that’s true but when I was with him I think I opened up the most. I am scared of people and this guy just didn’t care. He would take me out by force and in the estate I lived there was a pool which I had never been too in two years of staying there. This one time he asked us to go see it and next thing fully dressed he pushed us both into the water. He was funny like that you know and I loved that. He took me out of my comfort zones.
Anyway what do you think I should do? Is it worth the risk?