Majuba Chapter Four

Posted on Posted in Majuba

“We are here!”

Linda shouted when we got back. She always likes making an announcement when we got anywhere. That’s how much I knew her meaning that is how much I always got sent around with her.

“You know they can see you walk in right you don’t have to announce it!”

I told her laughing,

“I know that but it means that they give me an audience. I find it awkward to walk into a quiet room and have to say hi from zero. I hate awkward silences!”

She explained. I think I understood where she was coming from. Nonjabulo ran to greet her as my wife walked out of the house. There were already people there. I had the ice and charcoal.

“Babes why didn’t you pick up your phone when I called? I wanted you to buy more alcohol!”

My wife protested as soon as she saw me. She was doing her pouting baby voice.

“Too bad I didn’t get it!”

I told her ignoring her plea because this is exactly what I was talking about.

“Please go back we need the alcohol. She barely has enough and it’s her big day!”

Londiwe protested further dropping her hands on her sides like a gatvol child!

“You are joking right?”

I asked her putting what I was holding down.

“No love I am not joking.”

She responded.

“She is my sister and I could never joke about trying to make this day special for her!”

I stood for a second confused as to whether I was dreaming. My wife could say things without thinking and regret later. She had always been a shoot first ask questions later person and there are times when it was sexy but today it was not.

“If the day was as big as you say it is she would have saved better. I am not buying her alcohol.”

I told her sternly. I crossed my hands across my chest and stood there as though daring to say the next thing.

“Why do you always try to embarrass me like this? My sister is like your wife. She is me. You should want to help her the same way you would if it was me!”

She said standing in my way preventing me from going forward. I loved her for her feistiness, she kept me on my toes but there is a time and place.

“I don’t have the money. If you ask me one more time I will leave!”

I warned her. I don’t think she believed me when I said that because she went on to fold her arms. I took the charcoal and put it at her feet. Nonjabulo then walked towards us and stood next to us.

“Goodness I was worried about the charcoal!”

She said with a smile on her face. To thank me she hugged me again. I know what she was doing. All the things at the party had been bought by friends and losers like me. When you arrived she asked you to buy one thing until everything was sorted.

“It’s fine!”

In some African cultures, having a close relationship with your sister in law is encouraged with the notion that if your wife dies you then replace her with that sister if she is not married. The aim is to keep the wellbeing of the family intact. I say this because Nonjabulo behaved as though she came from that culture. When she hugged me it was not like I was her brother in law but a lover. My wife did not mind which made me feel like I was the one missing something. She took the charcoal to the back where I am sure there was a pile of things from duped well wishers.

“Vusi what’s going on with you? You seem to be a bit more on edge than usual?”

She asked me sweetly. There was a bit of concern in her voice now because she could see I was not playing the sweet innocent victim I always do.

“Everything is wrong love can’t you see that. You want me to pay for your sisters party when you know we already financially stretched…”

I didn’t even finish that line before she hissed like a snake,

“Shhhhhhh!”

Covered my mouth and said,

“Don’t say such things in front of my family! Are you trying to embarrass me?”

She pulled me aside all the way to the car. Mind you when we came back I had parked rather far because there was no parking.

“Wenzani sthandwa sam?”

“Woman I have just told you what’s wrong! How can you even ask me that again?”

I asked her.

“Don’t call me woman its condescending I know what I am!”

She said defensively. I was not saying it in that manner but I knew it was a fight I would not win.

“What do you want me to call you? Girl because right now you actually are behaving like one! I am not married to your sister. I am not married to your mother! I am married to you so no, I will not buy meat for her braai, she will braai for herself!”

I told her putting my foot down at last. The last two days had been torture so enough was enough. I wanted to go home.

“Ok love you are right. I am sorry. I think I had that coming!”

She said conceding immediately. At times your people surprise you like that.

“I am sorry! Let’s go back inside. I will tell her that your part is done. You are a guest at this party so expectations like such should not be put on you.”

She explained. She moved in closer and gave me a kiss. You know when you are grumpy or angry and someone kisses you don’t want the kiss but because you are relieved that they are trying to make you better. That was me right now trying to conceal the smile.

“Ok then. No more sending me around!”

I reminded her.

“I won’t and they won’t. You know I am weak around my family and that’s no excuse. I know when I am wrong love!”

She said and she held me by the hand and led me back to the house like a lamb to the slaughter. Was this how Isaac felt when he knew he was being sacrificed because I am certain had Isaac known that Abraham was about to kill him on that stake the poor boy would never have agreed. Imagine! Iyhooo Shem!

“What’s happening, I thought Vusi is going to buy the meat?”

Nonjabulo asked when I walked in.

“No he is not. He didn’t bring his card and you never told him that he was buying meat for your braai in any case. He is your guest too remember!”

My wife said sternly. Can I say LOL? I just did. What was happening here? Was I being played at this moment because five minutes ago I am sure my wife had volunteered my wallet to her mother and sister?

“Ah ok then so now what we going to do? We can’t have a braai with no meat and people are already arriving?”

She asked in genuine distress. I see what was happening. They were trying to make me feel guilty.

“If they want meat you can ask them to bring and braai. I don’t see what wrong with that.”

Linda chipped in from the back. She smiled as she said this but did not look at me.

“Are you serious? After they have arrived I start sending them off to buy meat?”

Nonjabulo protested not hiding her annoyance.

“Did you really plan this braai with the notion that I was going to buy the meat?”

I asked her actually shocked now. She was not playing around. What the hell?

“Yeah well we were going to go 50 50 with my sister and she is you so yah!”

She said as a matter of fact. She did not even have any shame in saying it. I think the mother seeing that she was older and more mature realized that this was not looking good at all. She cut in and said,

“Nonjabulo, you can’t do that! Go find your own husband to harass and Londiwe come on, you should know better! A man is not an ATM if you say you love him!”

She reprimanded her daughter. At this stage for me it just felt like a charade. They had not thought about this clearly and I think they had not expected me to actually say no.

“Mum please don’t get involved!”

Londiwe said to her mother.

“Guys I can’t do this. I have work to do as is and us fighting like this does not make the work go any faster.”

I told them. I was not going to stay here and be played like this.

“Ah mkhwenyana the party has not even started. Forgive my girls they don’t have direction!”

The mother pleaded for them. I was tempted to stay because of her but because I had already said it I knew I had stayed firm.

“I will see you tomorrow Mamzala!”

I said to her and I walked out. Londiwe was shocked beyond.

“Baby!”

She said running after me.

“Bye!”

I said and I walked straight out of the gate. Even then she thought I was bluffing but I was not. I was already tired by virtue of having slept late because of her and truth be told I needed to sleep. I also needed to work on that project.

“Ok I am coming with you!”

She said when we got to the car.

“It’s your sister’s party, go enjoy it!”

I told her.

I needed space to breathe.

Welcome to marriage.

**************************THE END***********************************
@diaryofazulugal
Mikeatdiary
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)
Mike@diaryofazulugirl.co.za

Dear Mike

Thank you for reading my letter and for your lovely work.

4 years ago I moved to Gauteng for the EC for university. I am currently a fourth year and I am doing well. When I got to university I went crazy and dated a lot of guys and slept around> I also went away on trips to Dubai like our girl in Blessed. everyone told me I was pretty and because I am light skinned I attracted a lot of rich guys. Some are married but i did not care because the group of friends I was in as long as you had money you were fair game. We did it all for fun and our argument was that because we are young then why not. I have thousands of followers on Instagram and a lot more men asking me out even now. I am not from a poor family either so I dont know what possessed me but I became the IT girl and I loved it. Late last year something made me stop I dont even know what. We had done a head count of all the guys we had slept with since first year with the girls and my number was 2nd from the highest. I had 23 men in 3 years and even a few threesomes all in the name of fun. Whats worse where money, champagne and hotels are involved condoms are very much optional. I just felt ashamed and dirty. I told my friends I was out and at first they did not believe me but now they do.

Here is the hard part, I am 22 years old and last week I found out I was HIV positive. Since I stopped sleeping around I started dating a fellow student. Mike I read somewhere were you said we must own up to our mistakes and I have plenty. Do I now go back and warn all the guys I have slept with to go get tested so that they dont infect their partners. I am telling my boyfriend this weekend but I am certain he will dump me. The relationship is still new so he has no reason to stay. What have i done? When I was posting all those baecation trips I thought I was the one. I mistook all the men I was with’s wealth as my own. Every trip I had all the trips I took were paid for by someone else’s husband or partner. I thought I was clever but take a look at me now. I am crying now because my life is ruined. I allowed all these men to use my youth and beauty but when I look at my reward my question goes back to this, was this all worth it. I messed up. My friends are still in the lifestyle and have recruited even younger girls to party with them. We called ourselves socialites when in truth we were prostitutes with Instagram and degrees.

Must i call up all the men slept with and warn them or keep quiet whilst I watch them infect other people.

Stupid Girl

38 thoughts on “Majuba Chapter Four

  1. Yah neh, marriage marriage, bathong its my husband n not ours. Bt frankly the wife is full of pride, she knows their financial state at home bt here wanna spend more unnecessarily to impress…
    Q&A my sister do u have all 23 men contacts?? N do u know hu infected u n passed it on to others?? I just have qs but unfortunately no answer/solution.

  2. Aa this family is off crooks how do u throw a party while broke?
    Stupid girl :::don’t do any further stupidity don’t track down doz guys n tell them let them be someone will let them kno because if u tarnish their names yo as good as dead

  3. Ah shame I feel for the husband. How can Nonjabulo say such. Aowa.. I would stand up to my husband too.

    #Stupid Girl

    Eish that is bad…veery bad. I wish many girls who think what u used to do is life and do realize its wrong and stop. Goodness you are so young
    But Being HIV positive it not a death sentence. Get urself up and be honest with ur current bf please he deserves to know that you are HIV positive. You had to learn the hard way. Sorry hey

  4. QnA I totally disagree with the others. When will women start protecting each other? So other girls must get HIV because she must not warn them. When will we start standing up and defending each other? Why must her yoke be transferred and spread to others. It might not be a death sentence but realistically her life as she knew it is over and she has to take a new path where she watches most things she does. Don’t fool yourself no amount of ARV tablets can make it go away. I say you find those guys and you tell them. The ones who will listen will do the right thing. Some of these men are married so you who are saying she must sit back do you honestly wish that they too must be infected? Stop trying to be polite and give the girl the right advice. She has HIV not a flu!

  5. Dear ” ” sorry for the long message 🙂

    You aint stupid, you just made the wrong choices and i admire your bravery to write this letter, im sure it could save alot of lives and help alot of young people to change their ways.

    Calling up all 23 contacts and breaking such news can endanger your life coz one of those might flip out and kill you cold blooded, plus you dont even know WHO infected you….unless you create a fake email address or buy a sim car, text all of them urging them to go get tested but withhold your identity for your own safety, these men know they have been reckless so they will def consider going to get tested. As for your friends, advise them to live right and if they still want to live by the socialite code then that’s on them, we all rip what we sow. All you an do is breakup with the new guy but DONT tell him your status, if you two have been irresponsible then rather suggest that you all go get tested together and you take it from there. My heart bleeds for you, im so sorry you have to go through this at the age of 22. i cant imagine how hard it is, but please see a counselor to help you through this….HIV is not the end of the world, you can still finish your school, achieve your dreams and be someone’s wife and mother. There are alot of people healthily living with the virus, just start to live right and put the rest in God’s hands.

    If you ever need someone to talk to/confide in, you can always inbox me your digits on facebook (Tina Nzuri) and keep yourself anonymous if that makes you feel comfortable. Once you have accepted your current status then you can mybe have a sit with your parents and open up to them. i know the though of it is scary, but at the end of the day they are your parents and they will always love you and take care of you, you cant do this alone you need the support of your loved ones.

    Lastly PLEASE do not tell your friends or anyone else about your status either then your parents, unless you are ready for the whole world to know your status. People are wicket, they rejoice to others misery and the same people that you got up to shenanigans with will be the same people to happily broadcast your misfortune to the rest of the world. Be careful with who you call your friend, people aint as genuine as they try to portray.

    Take good care of yourself
    x hugs x

    1. I agree with Tina, however I don’t agree with her on breaking up with the guy. My friend found out that she was HIV when she started a dating a new guy. She wanted to break up with him, but I advised otherwise, if he is a real man he will stay HIV doesn’t mean your life is over. She told him,he stayed and they are getting married in May after being together for 5 years. So it’s possible that this is your husband “stupid girl”. Tell him before you do anything with him, if he’s real he’s gonna stay if not…oh well his loss.

  6. Dear Stupid girl

    I think it’s only fair that you go back and warn all your 23! I’m not gonna judge cos I think you already know that you’ve messed up. The reason for warning these men is so they can try and do the right thing, I’m sure there’s innocent women who are these people’s wives and fiancés who are now infected because of all your shenanigans. I feel so bad about the whole situation cos you are so young. I hope others will read your letter and learn from it

    Xolo

  7. QnA Ag Shame mahn. i am so sorry. but you took a great step and for that i am so proud of you. at least you are owning up to your actions. i however don’t think you should tell all 23 men. because knowing man they will go around shaming you and spreading stories when truth be told they may have been the ones who infected you i am sure those 23 men know their status and that wont stop them they dont care. they will go around infecting other young gilrs and there is nothing you can do to stop them. your current boyfriend however is the only person you should own up to. the rest of the men where just using you to get what they wanted (sex) and look at you now. i dont know what the other readers think of this but thats my advice.

  8. I dont think most modern women know how to take care of their men. I’m not talking submission either coz Im a feminist and not about that life but being genuine and feminine with their partner. I know with my hubby if I have a hard head nothing will happen but when Iam soft and feminine he takes the lead, is happy to and both of us arent stressed. When I complain about housework , laundry and his socks he just looks at me but when i say that doing it togther gives us more time to do other things he helps, with the dishes etc and is more careful about messing the house up and cleans after himself. Londiwe needs to stop competing with her sisters and let the marriage flow happily. My hubby and I dont care if people think we are struggling and poor when in reality we wont splurge at these braais just so people can admire for 5 minutes. Stupid gal. you arent stupid any longer. I hope you have klearnt and at the end of the day, HIV positive status isnt a death sentence. yes it affects your dating life in future but that doesnt mean you dont deserve a meaningful relationship. focus on your studies and if you could, talk to some of the younger girls or write on these Confessions pages so people are aware that all that glitters isnt gold. This generation of girls have been warned since pre-school so anyone who is recruited in 2017 should know bettter. focus on your health, wealth and happiness.

  9. Dear Nantha

    Firstly she also doesnt know who gave it to her, it could be any of those men and i have heard stories where a man will deliberately infect a woman and turn around to accuse her of infecting him. Men can be cruel and not everyone can handle such news, some people act irrationally, she could loose her life just by coming out clean with the intentions of saving others from infecting people any further. if she used protection with her current bf, then her status is non of his business as he is not at risk BUT she let him hit it raw then its best she suggest that they go get tested together.

    be realistic, there is a beast/animal in every person it only takes certain words/info to trigger that and you know there is no coming back from that. At 22 she needs to focus on her studies and her health, one word to the wrong person then her whole status will be exposed to the rest of the campus and neighborhood and this girl might not be able to handle the judging eyes, whispers, gossips and humilation. We all know that HIV stigma still exist. This is a sensitive matter, advise her like you would advise your little sister or anyone close to you!

    1. I agree Tina. These varsity girls are beyond petty and love the downfall of an obviously beautiful girl. She shouldnt tell them at all and these men arent her best friens either. her life could be endangered

  10. I definitely say, these men should know. Like someone suggested, buy a sim card SMS them and WhatsApp them. Ask them to get tested because there is a chance that they might be infected, due to the fact that you slept with them. Also in the message, let them know that it’s not the end of the world if they do have it. The onus will be on them, as long as you warned them. If they decide to Infect other people, then they will have to live with the guilt cause it’s their choice. After sending those anonymous messages, focus on yourself get informed abut living with HIV and take it from there.

  11. Q&A firstly sweetheart, your life is not ruined, HIV is not a death sentence and you will live a full life. Granted, you will obviously have to be more careful with your health but it’s not as bad as you think it is.
    Secondly, own up to your mistakes for yourself and no one else. Forgive yourself, cry about it until you heal but make sure you forgive yourself. You made mistakes yes, we all have, yours are not worse than anyone else’s.
    Lastly, tell your partner that you are HIV positive. You owe him that much but that is all you owe him. You do not have to explain how you got it or tell him about the life you used to live. If you want to tell him, great, but if it doesn’t help you heal then you do not owe him anything more than the truth about your status.

  12. good read, thanks butMike.

    stupid girl, the joke is on you, do you think these men do not know your status 2 out of 23 infected you on purpose, get real and start taking ARV’s girl. if I may ask did you save any money from all those trips? no.

    mathata a lefatshe girle.

    BW

  13. I am so shocked at this woman who offers for her husband to buy meat when she knows the financial state of affairs in the house. ngeke akanamfazi uzihlalele.

    as for the letter sending anonymous messages is better than keeping quiet and its up to the recipients to take action.

  14. Sekayahamba manje naye I braai…kwaaaks unkhwenyana is being played for far too long ukhathele…nice one Mike very nice sizofunda LA thina esi single

  15. Lol u not even 23 yrs yet n u have slept with 23 man *not judging* so now u HIV + ohk

    Dont go around telling people about yo status deal with it 1st accept yoself be4 u tell yo current boyfriend. Condomise love to minimize more infections , remember Aids is not a death sentence is same like flue u just have to dress warm *condom*

    Am 36yrs and almost had the same life you had n mine was minimal LOL
    And I thank the lord everyday coz I never got infected with HIV

    So take care n only tell yuo boyfriend when u have accepted yoself

  16. Stupid. I applaud you for coming out and owning up to the mess you made. Now I want you to know that your life is not ruined. You are doing well with your studies, you are young and intelligent and you now live with HIV. You are not going to die tomorrow unless you get shot or in a car accident, but you catch my drift… You have a full life ahead of you. Henceforth live it responsibly.
    You have no obligation to tell those men. Not moral, not legal, not social, NONE WHATSOEVER!!! They are grown ass men and should have been more responsible with their lives. It is not your duty to inform them. They are promiscuous hence they have slept with you as a child and there is nothing you can do or say to stop their promiscuity. It is also not your sole duty to protect other women. Each person has a responsibility for their own lives. HIV did not come with you, it has been there, even my 8 years old daughter knows about it, yet it still spreads. All you can do is warn other women against this lifestyle and what the ramifications are thereof. The rest is up to them! You have your own shit to clean up and your own cross to bear. You have now walked away from that lifestyle, keep walking nono. Do not contact anyone. Umntu ofuna ukwazi i status sakhe makayo test. Imagine if one of those guys screen-grabbed your conversation and tagged you on Instagram or Twitter just to spite you or out of their need for vindication? Are you ready to disclose your status to the world?

    Your current boyfriend has a right to know if you are serious about him. If you guys are planning to build a relationship, then you better be honest with him. Let us remember that HIV is not only transmitted sexually even though that is the most common way. Say you get cut by a glass or something, he must know that he needs to wear gloves to help you. Protect him if you love him. If he loves you he will stay, if he does not then you are not meant to be together. However, before you disclose to him, make sure that you can trust him and that you really want to build a relationship with him. You don’t have to pass your status with your phone number xa bekushela.

    To everyone else on this blog , let us be empathetic in our advice. Put yourself in the person’s shoes and advise from there. There is a thin line between being judgmental and being truthful, thread carefully.

  17. Dont go back to those 23 guys and tell, it looks right that you must tell them but you might be shooting yourself in the foot, In this case they will look for someone to blame and 1 of them might literally kill you. Its the right thing to tell but what might happen to you… Just tell your current bf and use other anonymous platforms like this one. Take care of yourself because even though you HIV positive but you still are going to live many years to come.

  18. #stupid girl

    I think you should take Tina’s advice and send all these guys an anonymous sms. whether or not they take it seriously is not on you anymore. Im sure amongst the guys you slept with there are a few good ones who want to protect their current and future sexual partners from infections even though they might have slept with you-which was reckless. your decision to tell the guys will change and affect so many lives but do it for the greater good.

  19. Thanks Mike, keep up the good work. Former Stupid girl, I know your question is more on disclosure to your former partners, I feel it’s still early for you to be making such decisions. You’ve just found out your life might depend on a strict regimen and medication, that’s not something you’re expected to accept in one day. I say spend some time doing work on yourself first. If you disclose your status while you haven’t dealt with it, you might not be in the best position to deal with the consequences. Yes, you might feel guilty now but that’s something you also need to work on. You need to be comfortable enough with your status to not worry whether you have to disclose or not, that will come naturally once you’ve dealt with your own emotions and accepted your condition. I say find a support group, online or where you stay, there’s even Skype groups that are completely anonymous, the more support you have, the easier it will be to deal with any situation that arises from you telling anyone.

    With your new boyfriend, if he has been exposed, you might want to warn him and try to keep him safe, but if you have been careful, maybe try getting to know him on a deeper level than getting in the sack. You might find that you don’t like him that much to even tell him your status in the end. If you two decide to take your relationship to another level, then you can tell him knowing that he won’t judge you without knowing you, if he does, well, maybe he wasn’t who you thought he was anyway.

    You need to make those kind of decisions with a sober mind, right now, you’re still driven by shock and fear, deal with that first and find your ground in the journey your life has taken. All the best to you, if you need a start, find youth groups that tackle such issues, clinics and Google would help.

  20. Reading today’s Q and A just made me realize how grateful I am, I was the IT girl in highschool, at a very young age I had men asking me out, old men while I was walking in my school uniform, all the guys at school would ask me out, but I was just such a “scaredy cat” I would only go out with my friends and my then boyfriend, I never got to do the deed with anyone because of that fear I had, I feared disappointing my parents and mostly myself and reading this I realize just how grateful I am. That little fear got me this far, got my degree, getting married soon (to the only man I have ever done the deed with) and got a good job, I can say I am stable and finding my feet.

    @ “stupid girl”, I can’t say I understand but I am 22 and would be hurt and disappointed in myself if I was in your shoes … I must say I agree with sending an anonymous sms or something (but it must be from a really untraceble number) or rather not say anything at all.

    Goodluck, forgive yourself, accept the situation and from here on focus on being the absolute best, do this for no one else but yourself. Time really does heal.

  21. Bra Mike what a superb story line. Keep it up Bhuti wam. Stupid girl you don’t need to tell them mtwana sekhaya. They all know their status, they give you leisure and disease at the same time. You are not the first lady to be in these circumstances and will not be the last. Black diamonds, Tenderprenuers, Politicians and Blessers bathanda inyama enyameni mntwana sekhaya. I hope you will take care of yourself and stick to your medication.

  22. Yoh Hectic Q’S&A’S, stupid girl all I can say is may the Lord God be with you in this dark time but all will work out in time just trust the Lord God, ask him for guidance…. Goodluck nana

  23. Going bk to ur 23 won’t help at all,remeber those 23 knew they had partners nd wife’s bt still they ddnt bother using cd,”those who ddnt”do what’s right for u,nd forget the 23.they will turn it all on u,believe u me I know.

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