I can’t get this song out of my head even now at this tense moment, ‘now here we are the four of us, in total shock
the four of us, I close my eyes; I swallow spit because this is some deep shit’. Imagine I was in so much trouble and I was thinking of R. Kelly. There was clear panic in the doctor and Fatimas eyes and I think because they knew his reputation better than I did I had to protect them. “One of your men came in and raped me last night. The lights were off I could not see who it was. Was this your way of punishing me though? Was this you trying to teach me a lesson because I was on my periods? Your evil had humbled me really I cannot believe you believe in Allah then you do such things. Yes I know I am not from your religion but Ahmed for someone to do what he did to me in the dark is cowardice!” I spoke calmly and as slowly as possible to him so that it sink in. I know we were not supposed to tell him what happened but when you are caught you are caught. If I had kept quiet everyone will have kept quiet. That’s just a simple fact of life. You do not betray people in a situation like this because you hate them. Think about it, what was I going to say to him, “I slipped on the floor and a broom went up my ass?” There simply was no logical excuse I could give in this moment right now.
“We have just found out Ahmed. I came to tend to the girl as instructed and next thing I find this. I don’t know what to say but they hurt her really badly. Last night I gave her a sedative as well because she was crying for her friends and honestly I should never have if we are now raping girls in their sleep! No matter what Ahmed you always say face your enemy in the eye.”
The doctor intervened.
“Why did you not scream? Why did no one hear it?”
Ahmed asked me. He was angry to the point of his skin turning red.
“Did you not hear the part of the sedative Ahmed?” The doctor said in my defense. Unfortunately for him he had spoken once too many times because Ahmed walked briskly towards and slapped the grown men so hard on the face and he buckled over as though he had been punched in the stomach.
“Talk out of tone one more time and it will end up being your bum them men are raping!”
A man who can ever make a rape joke, no matter how mandane or serious the conversation you are having is, is no man at all. There are things that you don’t talk about just for the fun of it. He has been properly bitch slapped and I don’t use that word lightly. A grown man being slapped like that is not even humiliating there is no word for it. I could hear Thandeka in my head saying
“A Zulu man will never allow that, one of them will have to die first!”
My ass was still exposed in all this confusion. They had shamed me so much I had not even found my honor and tried to cover myself up. I had lost my spirit.
Poor doctor for standing up for us. I was not sorry for him though, no that’s not the word I would use, I was rather more scared for us all.
“Fatima when did you find out?”
He asked her. She absolutely terrified of him and looked down when she spoke to him.
“I just got here now. I know nothing. You saw me when I walked past!”
She reminded him. “I don’t look at dogs walking past so I don’t know that.”
Just then at that moment the man who raped me literally ran in the room. No come on!
What did he want?
“Abu, Who was working security last night? I want all the video footage right now.”
Ah why did he have to walk in when he did? “Boss that can wait, I just saw Akhbar take the small boat and and speed off. He was sweating. Something is not right boss. The way he left unless you sent him somewhere! You said I should report anything I see!” Now who the hell was Akhbar? There were too many of these people. “Akhbar?” Ahmed asked confused.”The reason why I asked you to keep on Akhbar was because someone pointed out that he was laying with men!” Ahmed went on to say. This was too much drama now you know why R. Kelly Trapped in a Closet came to mind. “She was raped in the …” The doctor pointed out but when Ahmed turned to look viciously at him he shut up immediately.
“I have more bad news for you boss unfortunately…” Abu continued. I now knew the bastard name. “I am coming from the security room and all footage from the last couple of days has been wiped. The whole house sir!” He explained. Remember with me fear made me freeze and cower but this guy really had to be some kind of legend. With him fear made him a genius. Whoever this Akhbar was his love for the same sex had saved our lives but unfortunately there is no doubt it had condemned his. The fury in Ahmed’s face was beyond palpable. He was heaving his chest up and down like a plus size girl’s ass when she is doing star jumps. The redness in his face was even purple just to highlight his evil.
“I am going go kill him!” He said coldly and he walked out. Men like that do not want to lose. Being gay on a country like this is often punishable by way more things than just your parents disowning you. These are countries that have no tolerance and being gay does not condemn only you but your family as well. You bring shame to them by virtue of being birthed by them. More and more I realized that corrupt or not, the South African government really has more than just DONE for its people in just 20 years of existence. These countries have independent forever yet look at how they treat their people.
“What have you done you coward? You have now made Akhbar a victim because of your crime?”
Fatima went in on Abu. She really hated this man and so did I.
“What was I supposed to do? I knew you would try and sell me out. I told him that Ahmed found out that he was gay and he was going to kill him today so he must run away! I gave him the keys to the boat and the fool ran away.”
“But he is not gay!”
Fatima remonstrated even using her hands to explain.
“The fact that he ran away shows he has something to hide and even you can’t defend that!”
He said. He did not look at me.
“He ran away because he knows Ahmed is unreasonable. He was never going to take anything else that he could have said!”
The doctor said calmly. He had a hand mark on his face were the clap had stung. He looked like he had a scar. “Thandeka!” I had a low moan. It was Natalie. She was up at last. The doctor ran up to her. “How are you feeling child?”
He asked her with concern in his voice. Her body immediately recoiled. With all the pain I had in my bum, I could barely walk I heaved all the effort in me and stood up to walk to her. If you have never had anal sex you would never understand how it hurts to walk after the first time. Don’t do it ladies. Fatima immediately spoke
“go back into bed”
“No I need to speak to her; she needs me!”
I told her. Fatima came and helped walk to her as Abu walked out.
“Hadhih hi alshshurta”
a loud booming sound said from out side
“Hadhih hi alshshurta!”
It said again. It was a loud speaker. What now.
“Allah Most Merciful…”
The doctor said out loud.
“What’s going on?”
I asked him because obviously language,
“it is the police, they came, it is the police!”
Fatima said hugging me…
No letter today. Please send us your letters.