“Excuse me, you don’t know me from a bar of soap and you expect me to take you to some graves to prove a point to you. You must have given birth to me, feed me and then brought me to this place to expect me to do that bullshit you asking for, but let me show you your mother’s grave.” I said jumping on top of her and beating the shit out of her, the looney’s who were wondering around and were not at the group session were cheering on while the instructor and some of the people who were in the group session were trying to remove me from the negative psycho woman, but I was not letting go I wanted to teach her a lesson, how dare she judge me when she was supposed to be supportive, I was throwing punches on her at any part of the body that I could get. Eventually I was removed from her and we were both taken to our rooms, I was still fuming. When we got to my room they called the doctor and I was injected as I expected to calm me down but for some reason this time I did not sleep, I just felt numb and disorientated, I expected them to tie my arms on the bed but they didn’t. I could at least move around the room and the first thing I did was race to the door, it was locked, I don’t know what I was going to do if it was not locked but I trusted my instinct’s I knew they would kick in as soon as I got out of that door. The injection they gave me was really making me drowsy so I decided to retire in bed.
When I woke up there were people in my rooms, doctors and nurses I assumed because they were holding my file, talking and standing over me. I tried to be as silent as possible, I heard one explaining to the other that I had tried to kill myself a number of times because my child and husband were presumed dead, shit presumed dead, did that mean my husband and child could be dead, no wonder I was in a mental institution, who wouldn’t lose their mind after finding out that their whole family could be dead. The person who was talking continued and said, “we haven’t been allowing her any visitors because she gets hysterical during visits and it’s also part of the reason we have to tie her hands. We have now cut down her medication because she is showing a bit of improvement.” This was all news to me, imagine being in a hospital and not know how the hell you got there and what the hell is wrong with you. When they were done gossiping about me they left the room, I noticed that they left the door opened, this was my chance to get out of that hell hole. As I tried to move the bastards had tied me to the bed, I could not move, there was no winning, I just could not win with this mental institution staff, I guess they had seen it all, they knew all the tricks in the book.
The following day I was told I will be attending group sessions again and if I started another fight they were going to take me back to my room immediately, I honestly was not in the mood to see that psycho woman that I had fought with but this was like prison, you didn’t really have much choice but to do as you were told. People were in high spirits it seemed like no one even remembered the previous day’s fight, I swear the medication in that place was making all of us even more crazier and making us forget things. Psycho lady came and sat next to me this woman was brave, she took her hand out of her pocket and shook my hand and introduced herself, she said her name was Lizeka, I shook her hand and felt guilty about yesterday because I had properly panel beat her face, she looked like she had been hit by a train. “I’m sorry about yesterday, the medication in this place makes me aggressive, that is not who I am.” She rolled her eyes and said she had already put that behind and asked for a hug, she hugged me then whispered in my ear. “If you ever touch me again, I will kill you and your entire family” the way she said that was so eerie it sent chills down my spine. The group instructor told everyone to clap for us and to see how important forgiveness was. We sat down and people wanted to share their traumatic stories, I was still depressed by the story the Mellisa lady had shared from the previous day’s and I didn’t want to hear any more hectic stories. I tried to block everything out by thinking of Mthobisi and the good times we had and wondered where on earth could he be, I wondered if our child was okay. I missed them both so much and being away from them was tearing me apart. What was I going to do if they were both dead, how was I going to live life without Mthobisi, he had been my everything for so long. I now understood why some couples if the one partner died the other would shortly follow, you build your life around this person and you literally cannot imagine life without them. That was me, it hurt so much knowing that he could be dead, I didn’t want it to be true, but everything was just pointing to the direction of them being dead, for one I knew Mthobisi would never leave me in a mental institution no matter what, if he was alive he would have come to find me and get me out of there. Before I knew it the session was over, thank goodness it was done. I was told since I behaved I could sit with the others in the lounge and eat lunch there, I didn’t want to sit with crazy people so I told them I was going to my room and will have my lunch there. I sat in my room and ate my ugly lunch and thought that maybe I should take a nap, but I had been sleeping so much lately, I decided to just chill, I was bored out of my mind. I heard commotion outside my room, I wondered what the crazy people were up to now, since I was bored I thought let me just go and see what they are doing and entertain myself. When I got to the passage, it was one crazy scene. Lizeka the lady I had fought with the previous day was with her follow crazy people and they were all wearing doctor’s, nurses and the mental institution staff’s uniform and were getting everyone out of their rooms and handing them uniforms to change into. “Lizeka what is going on?” I asked confused not knowing if this was some sort of game they were playing. “We are getting out of this place.” I laughed, I wasn’t laughing because I found what she said to be funny I was laughing because the girl was really insane. I asked her where the staff, nurses and doctors were and she said they locked them all up in one room, I laughed even harder, I asked if she had the keys to get out and she said there was security at the gate so it was going to be a bit tricky to get out of the place. Obviously, she had not thought this plan through, I walked back to my room because obviously, this was a crazy plan done by crazy people, I had no time for such carelessness. Lizeka Asked if I wasn’t joining them and I told her that I would sit this one out. I went back to my room and left the psycho people to do their thing. I sat there trying to mind my own business but the more I thought of it the more I realised these crazy people’s stupid plan could be my way out of that hell hole. I went out of my room running and said “Lizeka I have a plan that can get us out of this place. Call the cops.” She looked at me like I was crazy. “You don’t think being here is bad enough, now you want us to take ourselves to jail, you really are mad, you really do deserve to be in this place. You stay, we will go.” She said walking away from me, I followed her and tried explaining my plan to her, it took about ten minutes for her to understand my plan and she finally agreed to the plan.
We all went to the room where the staff, nurses and doctors were kept, not all the patients were taken, the highly crazy ones were left in their rooms. Lizeka went inside and took one of the doctor’s phone and come out with it. When she was out I told everyone else to be silent so she could make the call, she called the police and shouted “Please help us, I’m at St John’s Mental Institution, our patients are holding the nurses and doctors hostage, please come. I have just started my shift and I saw this, please come and help us, I’m hiding under the desk in my office, if they find me they might kill me” she sounded so legit, I was sure the person at the end of the phone believed her. She looked at me and asked “what no?” I told her we wait, after fifteen minutes we heard sirens outside and I told her to open the room where we had kept the doctors and nurses and she did, as the staff was coming out of the room shouting at all of us for what we did, the police walked in. Lizeka and I were wearing the doctor’s uniform and we both said here they are, these are the patients that were holding us hostage, we said pointing at the real doctors and nurses, the police started hand-cuffing them, Lizeka was in front telling the cops how she was the one that called them and had managed to save all of us from the crazy patients. I think it took the nurses and the doctors a few minutes to understand what was going on, when they realized that they were being accused of being patients they tried protesting and telling the police that they were not crazy and that they are the nurses and doctors and staff, but obviously with us dressed in uniform and them in normal clothing the police thought that they were really the crazy ones. I grabbed Lizeka by the hand and we walked out of there and our fellow fake doctors and nurses followed behind us and we left the police busy arresting the wrong people.