As a mistress, who I was not, what would you do if your ‘lovers’ wife passes away? Do you pass condolence and actually mean it? That’s not what I want to ask actually because I am now confused with all this, if he needs a
shoulder to cry on, do you allow him or do you send him back to his family to moan with them. I was so confused. I stood at the door a while longer before I decided what to do next. He was already passed out. I took an extra blanket from the wardrobe as we had been advised there would be there and I slept on the floor. Thank heavens the room was carpeted. There was no way in good conscience I could lay in the same bed as him. My alarm went off at 7 o’clock. I was so tired and I just wanted to doze off again. There was something I had to do then i remembered, Sfiso… he was still snoring away! The funeral…
I said shaking him. Goodness, it was 7am meaning we were definitely late for his own wife’s funeral. How deep is that?
“Goodness why didn’t you wake me up earlier?”
He asked jumping up. I dont think he was blaming me per se but he was doing things so fast.
“Where are your toiletries?”
He asked in a rush as he readied himself. Within five minutes of waking him up he was done.
“I will see you later hopefully!”
He said as he ran out. Now I could prepare but I too had to hurry up. I tried calling Miriam but her phone was off. This sucked because it meant i had to pack her things as well because we were checking out. It was when I found it. She had the casing of a gun but the casing was empty. I know she mentioned something once about Bongani having a gun but it never actually mattered until now. When we were at the mall in the fight i had not seen it though so maybe it was just the casing.
When I got to the funeral the convoy was about to leave for the church. It was a long procession and many people had come. This family had wealthy friends or relatives because the convoy had proper cars. I was alone again therefore. The church service took about an hour of which I won’t lie I spent the most of it looking for Miriam. She was nowhere to be seen and neither was Bongani. Our primary purpose for coming had been the funeral to be there for Sfiso so what was the meaning of this. Sfiso had managed to change somewhere somehow and was in front. I learned a lot about the wife from the obituary. She was well educated with a Masters Degree. From the picture on the booklet she was very beautiful. How do you cheat on such a woman though? Her list of achievements was quite astonishing and she was far from ordinary I tell you. What cut me even deeper was that she was being buried with her child! She had actually given birth that night they said and both had died!
As I was seated right at the back when my phone rang I did not hesitate to go pick it up outside. It was Mam’ Dolly!
“Good morning mma!”
I said to her when I picked up.
“Good morning! Where is Miriam? I have been trying to get hold of her but I can’t!”
She asked me.
“I don’t know either. She left last night with Bongani. I am at the funeral now but I have not seen her yet. Would you like me to pass a message when I do?”
I asked her. She had slight panic in her voice but I could not get where from because by saying she was with Bongani this could have been the relief moment she was looking for.
“Yes please, tell her to call me Neh. Le wena you should call me if you can’t find her!”
She said before she hung up. Why wouldn’t I find her though? She was probably in the front considering that Bongani was friends with Sfiso so their car in the procession would have been towards the front meaning in church they sat in front. My phone rang again before I could walk in and it was my own mother.
“Mum I am at a funeral about to enter church!”
I told her politely. I was hoping she would hang up and say let’s talk later but this is my mum ok she works on her time.
“I wanted to talk to you about last night. I am sorry about how I reacted when you called. I don’t know why I am so angry at you these days and I want it to stop. It’s not healthy and I think we need to talk about it!”
“That’s fine mum I appreciate this but can we talk after the service is done?”
I asked her.
“No, I want to talk now whilst it’s still on my chest. I did not sleep well at all and this thing is paining me a lot!”
Sigh! My mum worked on her on time and when wanted things done it had to be then.
“Ok mum but can we make it quick. I will call you after the funeral I promise you!”
I told her.
“If you notice I have stopped asking you to find a husband. I think I have just accepted that this is not for you.”
She said. I did not expect that because for as long as I could remember she had wanted to plan my wedding.
“I understand mum thank you!”
I told her. I did not really believe her though because well, she had the memory of a gold fish, I expected her in a week or so to be asking the same questions.
“Yes that’s fine but you are young independent woman, you can have a child on the other hand. You don’t need a husband for that right!”
She said. I wanted to burst out laughing when she said that but that would only prolong the conversation.
“I will consider that mum! The people are walking out, I have to go mum!”
I told she tried to protest but I did not give her a chance as I was not lying. They were indeed coming my way. This was the closest I had been to the coffin and as it went past me I realized accepted how fragile life really was. It was so sad. Sfiso was beside himself. He was crying. I still could not find Miriam though. We went to the cemetery and it was only there that I saw Bongani. Seemingly he was late because I actually saw him walk in after us. I made sure that I did not lose his sight. As soon as the funeral finished I went and waited for him. He was one of the last to leave but I waited.
“Where is Miriam?”
I asked him as soon as he was in earshot. He looked at me like I was crazy as though he did not even know who I was. Maybe it’s the morning.
“Bongani? Where is Miriam?”
I asked him again.
“I… I … I don’t know!”
“What do you mean you don’t know? She left with you last night and she did not come back!”
I asked him. What a dumb response? I don’t know is the response you give when no one else saw you with whatever you are being accused of! What’s worse, he knows I saw him so what did he mean by I don’t know!
“Dude stop playing around, I know she is your wife but she is my friend and I have known her longer than you, where is Miriam?”
I asked him.
“I really don’t know ok! Leave me alone!”
He said and attempted to walk away. I grabbed him by the arm forcefully, the way abusive men do to women and said,
“Hey wena don’t fuck around? Where is my friend? If you don’t answer I am going to scream right now in front of all these people and I promise you everyone is going to turn and want to hear what’s going on! You have no idea what I am going to tell them happened and I swear to you there is no way in hell you will leave this place alive so I am going to ask you one more time and you better come up with a better answer than ‘I don’t know’!”
I hissed at him. This time my panic levels had reached epic levels! Something was wrong and I could sense it. I should have never let her go last night.
“I will take you where she is!”
“Yeah take me now!”
I said defiantly but then it hit me, what had he done to her? If I went with him would I come back?
The anger and adrenalin was now replaces by fear in my bones.
What had he done to her?
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)
Greetings to you Bhuti Mike and the readers. Thank you for your amazing work and your dedication… Mostly thank you for this opportunity.
I’m a 25 years old woman. Before sharing my problem, I would like to say guys… Please don’t crucify me… Lol we’re all damaged souls and we ain’t perfect. My problem is back in varsity I used to date girls… I don’t believe I’m gay but I used to date girls and it was great. Maybe I’m in denial but that a story for another day. I used to go out with both girls and boys. (But between me and you, I’ve dated more girls than guys.) After I graduated I decided I will stop dating girls cause like being with them was never easy and I always kept it a secret. Most people didn’t know about it including most of my friends and my family. People I stayed with at Res knew or suspected due to the number of lesbians visiting & sleeping over my place… I always lied that we were friends. So after I graduated I decided I would date guys but it never worked! I just don’t feel the same nje… So most times I’ve been single until last year I met a guy. Nice guy… He had a good job, we both bought cars together this year, both our families approved of our relationship. But he cheated countless times and started drinking so we broke up. Now I met this lesbian… My world! She spoils me! I have a better paying job than hers but she does everything for me! Lol even pays for my rent, petrol or when I go out with my friends… I asked her to stop but she says she likes to do things for me. Worse part… Her finger game and muffing is out of this world!!! She does me so well bathong! Now my problem is… How? Oh how do I go back to this now? Am I not too old for exploring? I know for a fact I can never marry a les or build a future with one. I want to have a family, children and all. I hope I don’t sound selfish or greedy… The les is a case by the way… She told me she tried committing suicide before… Not once. I’m scared to end things with her because of that. Honestly I like her but I don’t love her. So I’m stuck here but I do enjoy everything she does for me, it just that it not what I want for myself. What should I do? Even though I know guys don’t make me feel or haven’t made me feel the way I feel with my les… I still would choose them cause I’m not a rebel, I would rather conform to what society deems right than to stand out.