Young Employed and Single

YES 75

“Make no mistake about it, as long as women do not support other women they will never succeed. Donald Trump is winning the US Election because female voters voted for him even after they know how much of a sexist, misogynistic and racist white man who thinks women are sex objects! Remember Mmatema from Idols … poised to become the first female Idol winner and what happened? Women voted for the guy… love yourselves enough to know that you can trust each other!” Mike Maphoto

There was no triumphant walk as i walked out. This was not a victory for me because I loved my job and I was being forced to give p what i love by these people. I would like to say growing up I was a fighter and stood up to bullies but that would be a lie. The truth is circumstances had brought me t this moment. They push you until you break then they turn around and blame you when things don’t go right. I could see them sitting there plotting their next move on how to place the blame on me but there was no way the recordings had not taken them aback. They had not seen that one coming so I know now they would try and stop all this. I was done though. You cannot continue being someone else’s punching bag n life. Find your pride and move on. I had not even gotten to my office when Nthabiseng called me. She had actually managed to listen to my voice note which made me feel so relieved.

“Friend what’s going on? This is some deep stuff are you ok?’

She asked me as soon as I picked up the phone. I know I have said this before but l when you make friends you need to have a set of the right friends. Yes we all don’t end up in university to make these friends but even at church you can make the right connections. If you are working a lawyer is very important. Why do you think Scorpion or Legalwise or Clientele is always advertising? It’s because they know that somewhere somehow no matter what corner you are in these things will happen. I was not special in any way I know that but you need always have a lawyer on standby. People take advantage of those people that act like the world is perfect and they will never get caught with their pants down. Stop being stingy and go pay r80 a month because it could save your life!

“I have just resigned. I sent you a copy of what they said to me and what I said to them.”

I told her. I thought she would say something to stop me or warn me against it but she did not do so. Instead she went into full lawyer mode.

“Ok listen to me carefully; take a video of you walking to security…”

She said

“To security?”

I asked her a bit confused.

“Yes to security. Go get one of the guards to take you to your office so you can pack your things. It’s very important you do what I am saying. Companies like this have a tendency of coming back and saying you stole something so I repeat go get a security guard and video tape your exit. It might come in hand.”

She told me. I would never have thought that on my own but it’s true a llot of people have been accused of theft.

“I have a friend who was working for Coca Cola who was accused of stealing r134 after he resigned accusing them of racism. It’s a true story so don’t make that mistake!”

She warned me. I wanted to laugh but I had so many emotions right now. I was actually doing this. I hung up the phone and starting taping myself.

“This is Lungile Mbatha, I have just resigned from my job and am now walking from Ms Du Toits office the woman who told me I was suspended to the security desk to ask for security to help me take my things.”

I said this as I was getting to security,

“MAKOTI what’s going on in just got a call from the bosses saying we must not allow you into your office without being accompanied?”

BRA Hugh, no not the one from Assupol I was not dead yet but the security guard who was friendly with me said as soon as I got there.

“Yes it’s true. I resigned. I need you to escort me to take my bag so that I can leave please!”

I told him confidently

“What’s the video for?”

He asked me.

“I don’t want to be accused of stealing something so it’s important.”

I told him. I never thought I would be confiding in the security guards but realty is in white owned companies they tend to be the closest thing you have to home and you talk to them like family.

“That’s a good idea it’s something I would never have thought of on my own! Why are you leaving though? This place won’t be the same without you!”

He said as we got into my office.

“It’s how things have to be unfortunately. These people think that they are the only people with a job in the world. You can’t keep on trying to please people and they still treat you like you are dumb and uneducated!”

I told him and it’s true. In the private sector most of your white management people do not have academic qualifications yet they sit all day deriding Jacob Zuma for not having any. In fact Julius Malema is more educated than them as he has a degree and they don’t yet they make him sound down. Mmusi Maimane has a theology degree which technically all our mothers have because you know how much they read the bible but when you hear white people speak they make him sound like he is a genius, the voice of the black educated and the last black hope. I know so many more personal assistants who have degrees so much stronger than their white bosses but your fate is tied to your skin colour.

“I guess you are right! Sometimes I wish I had your opportunities and could have gone to school so that I can get a job where ever I want but look at me!”

He said. I don’t know whether he was sympathizes with my situation or lamenting his own but I did feel for him. Imagine being in a situation in which you know that even if you wanted a job you probably can’t go anyway. It cannot be nice.

“Focus the camera on me and everything I pick up please!”

I told him as I picked up my bag. I really didn’t have a lot of personal things. The files belonged to the company even though the work had been done by me. I had backups on my laptop at home in any case. I was done in less than five minutes and before I walked out Mr. Gold came to the office.

“Lungi, this is a bad idea. Stay and fight from within the company as opposed to fighting from the outside! Don’t listen to those two; they don’t know what they are doing.”

He pleaded with me.

“No sir with all due respect I cannot. I have left all the files pertaining any project I have been working on. I have not taken anything that does not belong to me.”

I informed him as my superior and with those parting words I walked out. I did not even look back even though I wanted to. I sent Nthabiseng a message saying all is done I had left. Yup, Elvis has left the building!

When I got home it took about 15 minutes before Nthabiseng also got there. She was very worried about me and it showed by the way she walked in. She gave me a hug and held me a bit longer than she usually does.

“Are you ok? How are you holding up?”

She asked me.

“I am fine hey. I thought I would fall apart and panic after the adrenalin settled but actually I feel like I was long overdue to do this.”

I told her.

“Ok that’s fine but I want you to brief me of everything that happened in the last couple of days that led to today.

She told me sitting down taking out a tape recorder of her own and a note book.

“Do we have to do it now? I am so tired!”

I asked her.

“I am afraid we have to. I want you to be able to remember everything. It’s better for our case!”

I told her.

“I thought the things that I sent you were enough though? What are you saying?”

I asked her that panic coming back. I was not about to go through that walk again. For the record I loved my job it’s just that I hated the people I worked with. When people disrespect you and belittle you it drains you emotionally. It’s the worst feeling ever. I then recited to her everything that had happened that afternoon and how things had ended. I also told her about Mr. Mawela and Nicolene reaction. I gave her all recordings I had.

“So what are you going to do?”

Nthabiseng asked me.

“Well I want to do my MBA! You are saying this will take time so I think if I have a year off to push it I can probably get it! They are doing me a favour and they don’t even realize that!”

I told her defiantly.

“I need to call Mr. Tizora because I was working on a contract with him. I think I owe him an explanation about what happened!”

I said reaching for my phone.

“No don’t. He needs to hear it from the company because if anything happens to the contract they will say that you sabotaged it. Block his number for now so that there is no record of you having a conversation from today forth!”

She told me. That was a bit drastic but I did as I was told and blocked him.

“So what are we doing?”

I asked her.

“Well its simple really, we are going to sue them for r5million!”

She said so casually I literally fell out of my sit!

“I beg your pardon?”

I asked her totally shocked by that amount.

“Yes! You are suing them for discrimination, nepotism, constructive dismissal and creating a hostile environment to work in. They don’t have enough black employees to satisfy any BEE quarter in any case and I know that they have about two government contracts last time I checked meaning they lied to get those contracts making it fraudulent! Moreover you are in management now meaning that your package is much higher than you think. You not leaving because you have a new job you are leaving because they pushed you out. We suing for r5million and don’t be shocked, in the real world r5million is not money!”

She said standing up. She seemed so confident as she said this. I wanted to smile but I was not sure why I could not.

“I have to go back to the office!”

She said.

“Don’t forget, r5million!”

She said laughing and hugged me before she walked out.

My head was spinning!

Did she say r5milliion is not even money?

*******The End**********

Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)

Hi everyone
I was in a relationship for the past three years and I really loved this guy but the problem was that the baby mama was constantly in the picture and I felt I was competing with her,so this year January we decided to break it off cause the baby mama was now living with him.To say I was heartbroken is an understatement,but I decided that instead of dating someone else I should heal on my own and that’s exactly what I did.For nine months I was single and I went through all the emotions in order for me to heal,well after that through my best friend I met a guy and my best friend and I would chill with him sometimes.During those times of being with him I started falling for him,then there was a day where we decided to go out for drinks(my best friend and I and him with his friend)so we were chatting and suddenly my best friend asked him if he was in a relationship and he said it was complicated,my best friend asked how it was complicated and he said he didn’t see a future with her I was disappointed that he was in a relationship so I decided to forget about the feelings.The following week he invited my friend and I for drinks again but my friend couldn’t make it and I went alone,that day it was a cold rainy day and instead of drinks,him and I decided to watch movies.We watched movies and just chatted about general things,when it was time for me to go home he kissed me and I was shocked cause I really didn’t think he liked me.Three days later he invited my friend and I to his place again and he asked to talk to me in private,he told me that he had fallen inlove with me and that I was everything he wanted in a partner and he asked me to be his girlfriend.I was so happy but I didn’t show it and I told him straight forward that I didn’t want to be the other woman cause I know how it feels to compete with another woman and he said he’d sort that out.After that him and I started spending a lot of time together getting to know each other and everything,this guy was everything I wanted in a man.We eventually started dating and he spends most of his time with me,he calls when he’s not with me just to say he misses me or he’s checking up on me,he even talks about how our future will be one day and how our kids will look and act,he makes me happy and feel loved.I’ve even asked him if he’s serious about us and he said he’s serious about us and that he’s in this for the long term.I just don’t feel comfortable knowing there’s another woman in the picture and she’s forever calling him when I’m with him and I understand cause she’s the girlfriend.But I’m scared he’ll just leave me and go back to her because I’m a really insecure person after my past relationship and I’ve told my friend how i feel about this but she told me that since this guy and his girlfriend have been together for so long(about 5 years)it’s going to be hard for him to just leave her and I should give it time.But I’m scared that after I put in the effort to make the relationship work,he’ll just leave me and go back to her.Must I just give up on this relationship before I get hurt?Or should I just be patient with him and see where this relationship goes?
I’m sorry for the essay

39 thoughts on “YES 75

  1. Sho confused… I learnt a lesson a long time ago. Never ever go for a person who is in a relationship if you want something real. You nursed your wound for over 9 months only to go back and poke it all over again. It takes a lot to walk away.. I fail to understand why you went back in.. Chances are he’ll never leave her for you. Maybe you should let go of this one too.

    Thanks for the great chapter Mike… Worried about Lungi now hey. This just got real

    1. Well said Miss L, I believe that if someone sees a future with you then he will find no reason to string the other woman along, instead he will end it with her and focus on the relationship with the new woman, in confused’s case this guy is just taking her for a ride.

  2. Confused and scared…you were wrong to date him while the other woman is still in the picture. Guys usually go what they want and if he wanted to leave his current he would have…you have accepted to be number 2 even though you stated your case and he said he will be working on it. By agreeing to be with him before he sorted out number 1 was wrong…You seem like a smart woman from your letter and you know how it feels to compete..Your man needs to man up and make a decision…

  3. I think maybe you should have waited for him to break up with her first before making things official with him. Essentially you are the other woman… I know he is going to break up with her eventually (hopefully he does) but if he loves you so much then why not dump the girlfriend first then move on with you? As someone who was in the same situation maybe you should have been more empathetic towards the girl, she is going to be distraught when she finds out you guys started dating before he broke up with her… I think you should take a break on the relationship and let him sort out his mess before you can be comfortable being his girlfrind, he could just be playing you and never intends to break up with her…

  4. Yaa R5mil is not money in the real world. I could blow out a mil in a week.

    Confused and scared, my advice to you is give the guy an ultimatum to chose between the 2 of you. Guys lie and he might just be lying to you saying his relationship is in trouble while he strings you along. Take a break from the relationship until he breaks up with the 5 year gf and then you 2 can continue with the relationship. The longer you stay, the harder it will be to leave.

  5. Luni, Lungi, Lungi… lol she reminds me of me so much Mikey if you ever decide to put this into a series, pick me to play her hahaha lovely read, thank you!

    Confused & Scared… I think you should give the man time to finish the chapter with his ex… it would be tragic to have the second heartbreak from the same scenario with a different person. take a break and do you.

  6. Dear Confused and scared

    From your history it seems that you have no self respect to be chasing other womans men. Girlfriend no.1 isnt calling your man whenever you are with him, she is calling HER man who you are cheating with. Yes, you are a cheater. I cant even call you a man-stealing cheater cos lets face it- they dont leave the woman for you. So you’re just a side dish…

    Find a man whos single please

    1. lol truth hurts but Confused really needs to take your advice to heart. you cant be a cause of another woman’s heart break no, she thinks too low of herself and that man might not respect her at all and even if he leaves the ‘MAIN’ Confused will always be on her toes coz if he did that to her there is nothing stopping him from doing it to confused

  7. Cha mna im lost. Why would you complain about competing with another woman,then when you get a chance to start over you go start over with a guy who has a woman? Im starting to feel like you were born to be a side chick. Let go of this trend kuse manje sisi before it becomes your life.

  8. Girl you need to give that man space to deal with his complicated situation. If he is seriously serious about you, he will take the time to clean up his act for you. You are entangling yourself in another web of deception here.

  9. Lungi I like your spirit…Thanks Mike. Q&A Girl don’t rush take time ,you will find the right man when the time is right.Leave that guy,you will find a suitable partner..;)

  10. I’m in love with the direction and the growth of Lungi’s character, strong and brave. Confused and scared. If this guy loves you like he claims, he will do anything to make you feel loved and appreciated, not confused and scared. To him you are just another girl who is desperate to be loved, and any guy won’t let that opportunity to pass him by. Love yourself enough to question he’s intentions and be prepared to walk away if you have too. Good luck

  11. Nice read Mike, thanks for the daily dose. I literally live for this blog, and I love the point u emphasising that we women dont support each other and that is an absolute truth. The only thing we good at is a pull her down syndrome, always judgemental of each other and mostly jealous of the success of other women. We just dont support each other.

    @Confused, I think if we were to vote judging by the comments so far, I’d say the answer to your confusion is glaring u in the face, leave this man alone. Take a very good look at yourself, why are you attracted to men who are taken? If u don’t tread carefully, history is about to repeat ittself here. Be strong and walk away now and let the man uncomplicate his complicated relationship.

  12. Thanks Mike and team for opening our eyes in so many ways. I was reading for enjoyment but I have changed, dis blog is really educating us, so I’m learning now

  13. Buti Mike I get you on paying R80 monthly, but Legal Wise really? I watch #SpeakOut on sabc2 and ENCA’s Checkpoint a lot, so many cases where victims had joined legal wise only for the company to fail them, I wouldn’t recommend it they failed their clients.

    @Q&A girl you cannot heal for 9 months only to go back to a similar situationship. You cant do the same thing over and over and expect different results. You sound like a smart girl, just unlucky inlove. All will be well if you can just be patient, guys lie all the damn time and that nigga lying to you if he wanted you to be number one he could have ended things with his gf a long time ago. Respect yourself and get out that situationship before you catch uncontrollable deep feelings. Run…..

  14. Before i even read i want to say Bhut Mike, that I voted for Karabo coz i liked Karabo and if the Americans voted for DT because they believed in him more, as much as it breaks my heart, so be it. We cant support women just because we are women, Well, I cant. I need more.

  15. CS, I mean, you are dating someone else`s man. very few man will come out and say they love their girlfriends and just want to cheat for fun, so of course he said its complicated and plans his future with you. If i tell you the number of times men have asked me to ask my dad how much lobola he would charge just to give the impression they are serious you would not believe. Men , clever ones at least, study women and find learn the exact things that will win their affections. I am sorry, I dont see anything in this letter that guarantees that this man loves you or will leave his girlfriend and the fact that you were willing to be the other woman says a lot. and yes, you will definately get hurt, maybe soon maybe later but this has no simple happy ending in place for anyone emotionally invested in this relationship.

  16. Nthabiseng and Lungi :Girl Power!
    But Mike though, was it supposed to vote for mmatema just only cos she’s a woman? even though I didn’t like her singing? Karabo and trump can not be compared cos trump is abusive. I’m so said about the results though.
    QandA: Ungene u yazi!

  17. Thanks Mikeesto, awesome one buddy. Just grumpy and shocked by Trump winning the election😠

    Confused, you went from being a side chick to being a side chick. I want you to think of that for a moment when you read this and ask yourself if that is your worth. Coz if it is then you should’ve rather stayed with your previous. There is levels to this shit sisi, the one you are choosing for yourself is degrading to say the least.

    If you want to fight then do it but don’t justify your confusion by being silly in love with an idea of your relationship rather than its reality. You are a convenience to this guy so if you want to continue buttering his other slice of bread at the cost of your sanity then qhuba.

    I think you have gained enough in 3 years to know when you are settling and pick your friends wisely sisi.


  18. Mike such competitions are not women vs men. It’s about who sings better. Karabo is a way better vocalist by Mmatema

    1. yes he is..n but mmatema kept us all entertained (which is the point of being in idol’s to begin with!) she was an idol to young girls! with the help of winning the competition she would have she was going to be our 1st black woman to win. karabo was still going to make it out there without the help of winning cause like u said “he is a great vocalist” he didn’t need idol’s he wanted it mmatema needed it, in fact we all needed mmatema to win! but then again y’all r quick to pick a guy over ur own kind! Nd trump wining proved how we are far from letting woman to rule! far from empowering ourselves without wanting men to recognize us. should had mmatema and Hillary been men trust me people would have voted! yourself included sisi…

      Mike you are amazing!

      confused I believe there are a lot of ppl that gave u reasons to stop this behaviour of urs. it’s woman like u that I fail to understand. you want men to b faithful to u yet u are number in being side chicks!

  19. bathate Lungi and Nthabi, woooooza R5m. I keep introducing people to this blog the way I love it, I even told my colleaques to just login and read whenever they are bored…Lol

  20. Talking from experience when I first dated my fiance he was in a relationship with his then childhood girlfriend and he gave me the same excuse as ur current bf is giving you, and I decided to give our relationship a month to see if he will dump his girlfriend for me ,and you know wat was the worst part?? They were staying together but were not yet married, and I decided to give him a chance and c if he will fulfill his promises and guess what? A month later the girlfriend was out of their house permanently and here we are still going strong. My advice for you is give this relationship a chance maybe 2months and if he still dating the girlfriend by then, then that will mean your relationship is doomed to begin with. And you should bare in mind that before I met my fiance I was side dish aswell. Wishing you a happy ending 💑 my dear

  21. Lungi is going to tshwasa dats her MBA letla ntshwara ka letsoho nd Shez going to pay for her initiation wit dat 5mil bt dis is a great read anyway tanx mike for da daily dose so much to be learned here on every single episode

  22. thanx mike. @confused.. cc i understand whr ur confusion is comng from. ngiyabezwa bathi find a single man like they grow on trees wtf??? what u need to do is talk with your man, tell him to make his choice, and if he loves u he wont need too much time. he is not married afteral so he gt no ties. u dnt hv to be ashamed futhi, u not jesus, u cant be liable for ada ppls happiness bt yoz.. lastly getting a man ngestina doesnt guarantee he will cheat on u too, who knows, u myt just be da women he been looking for.. not too many women can claim to hv found their man hanging nje waiting on em, mostly its just a case of him sorting his shit out b4 she cud find out.. wat you need to do tho is stand your ground, dont allow him to make u wait for long cos he myt not b in this like u r.. they say love is blind bt id advise u to open your eyes, dont allow his sweet talks get to u. i blv 1 can tell if they being lied to only if u think with da mind nd not da heart. all the best girl

  23. Thanks poi

    CC tell that guy to call his woman on loud speaker since ur side chick n break up with her full stop.Or continue to be side hoe

  24. R5meter, come Lungi. Ta brada Mike.
    Q&A: Dejavu! Give him an indirect ultimatum. Make him set himself a target date & if he fails, then let him go.
    True, gud men just like gud women don’t grow on trees like apples that U can say U will just pick up unattached to anybody. There’s no single guy or single lady out there, all are in some kinda relationship or between situationships b4 committing.

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