“If your relationship becomes routine one of you will cheat. You need to constantly find new things to do together to keep each other active, challenged and interested!” Mike Maphoto
I am looking for the best words to describe period pains because honestly no matter how strong you are they are the one thing that can break you. You might think that because you know that they come every month then you should be prepared for them but reality is you can’t prepare for torture. Pain is pain and how many of you think a paper cut is sore? Period pains are a million times that and there is very little you can do to stop that pain. Mine were not crippling like some other girls I knew but they were bad. I had medicine already so I took the pills. They were early though and that didn’t sit well with me. They had spoiled my mood. I slept in pain. I made sure my phone alarm was on this time and I woke up early enough to be the first one at the office.
“Good morning? How are you feeling today?”
Nicolene asked me when she walked in.
“I am a bit better but my period pains are on some other level. It’s going to be a bad day!”
I told her. I paused soon after I said that because I realized she was not Rudzani. I used to tell Rudzani everything because as we shared an office it made sense that we spoke a lot. Nicolene well, nicolene was different; I did not know her that well.
“I have them too! I take Ponstel, you must try it! It works!”
She said cheerful. She touched me on the shoulder for reassurance.
“I have some in my bag if you want?”
I had already taken my pills but I was not about to say yes. This was my new reality unfortunately meaning that I had to be nice to her. It was pointless me keeping up the hostility towards her. I just had to watch my back twice as much!
“Yes please, I am going to need them! What did I miss yesterday?”
I asked her.
“Nothing much. I don’t think we are serious about this contract. I know we have just signed but there is no sense of urgency. I tried to speak to Mr. Gold yesterday about something I found in the research and he dismissed me out of hand without even looking at it!”
She told me.
“But why did you go straight to Mr Gold without coming through me because I am your immediate supervisor?”
Was my response. Even in the private sector there is a chain of command and she was deliberately jumping hers.
“You were not here and I actually emailed you on this! Did you check your mail yesterday?”
I asked her. I had checked my email I recall but what she was talking about I had not seen. I opened my email immediately to show her that she was mistaken. I did not need to look at emails to know I was being duped so I said this without even bothering to look.
“See what I meant? There is no email…”
I said turning to her to prove a point. She folded her arms and said,
She asked me. There were three separate emails she had sent me and there they were. When I get an email my phone gets a notification. I had had data the whole day but not one notification. I was so confused. Was this dropped call thing Vodacom had been talking about? I did not even know what to say.
“I, are you sure you…”
I checked to see the date sent thinking she had tricked me but she had not. They were from yesterday.
“I understand you were sick, maybe you just missed them!”
She said but I could see my accusation had hurt her. I wanted to apologize but she left before I could. What was going on with me? I remember yesterday during this time it’s when I was about to do some work. How could I have missed this? I was baffled. One email I understand, it could have slipped through the cracks but three I am certain I would have seen! Maybe I needed a new phone! The new Iphone has landed I should go get that!
“Let’s see what you are all about?”
I found myself talking to the computer screen. At the back of my head I was very worried about my state of mind. The articles were a report from an American journal. It was not a very big one and in fact personally, this was my first time reading from them. The reason why Simba’s company was in demand was because of some product they had created that helps reduce sampling time of collected matter. This journal was questioning that. When Nicolene had said she had gone to Mr. Gold she had is what to ask why we were moving so slow yet what she had sent me was totally different. Goodness, had we moved any faster and things gone wrong she would have said she told me her immediate supervisor and for this I could be fired and deservedly so. Had I made us sign a back contract?
I called Simba!
Wrecking through my brains I could not remember what Simba had said when he came to dinner the other night. Had he said he was living town? I picked up my phone to call Nicolene.
“Come to my office please!”
I told her. She said she was coming and ten minutes later she was there.
“I am sorry I shouted at you earlier. I think this pain is getting to me.”
I lied to her.
“Its ok I understand. I am also moody on my periods”
She said candidly.
“I see this but these are just articles. Who else have you emailed them to?”
I asked her.
“I emailed them to no one. I was not sure what to make of it. This was in the afternoon after I had asked for a meeting with Mr. Gold. Someone sent them to me! Have you called the client?”
She asked me. I told her I had just tried and failed.
“We need to bring this to the attention of Mr. Gold!”
I told her. I had a duty to do this. If I did not it would mean I had with held information. Guilty or not Simba had a lot of explaining to do because sure he must have known that there was criticism to their product and they had chosen not to disclose that to us.
“He is not in. He went to Cape Town. Go check with his PA though but I am fairly certain of this!”
She said. She seemed to know so much about the office going ons. I resolved to double check myself but this meant that if he was gone I would be able to follow up myself on Simba.
To say I had a bad day is simply an understatement. I could barely sit still have the time but as a woman it’s something that we have to live with. I have said this before but if I die and find myself in front of God I am really going to ask him why? Why I had to suffer like this if He loved me so much. Eventually the day grinded to a halt and I could go home. I drove in pain and all I wanted to do was get home and lie down. My mother called and I picked up. On the car speaker,
I said to her.
“I have good news; Moruti is back and can see you. Today even if you are available!”
She said clearly very excited.
“Mum I can’t today, I am on my periods, first day of them and you know how painful they are.”
I told her.
She said concerned.
“Its ok I will hold him off for a few more days!”
She said and she hung up. When I got home that drive felt like an eternity. I parked and left everything in the car. That’s how badly I wanted to go lie down. I took the meds that Nicolene had given me and threw myself on the couch. It felt so good. Even the pain felt less with me lying down face first.
There was a knock and I could hear it was Mbuso as he was on the phone. I stood up and opened for him. He was standing with one hand in his pockets. He hung up.
I greeted him.
“I am good hey but sick! Where is Ntheteng?”
I asked him. I also had not seen her yesterday.
“I sent her to aunts for the weekend. I figured I should spend more time with you so that you get to know me a little better. You don’t even know my surname you know that right?”
He said confidently. I loved that. I did not want to have these walls talking back to me.
“I am going to say this and I know how it’s going to come out!”
I told him.
“I am on my periods!”
He looked at me like I had told him that I can fly.
“I am not a child you don’t have to make up such stories!”
He said with a bemused tone. I think he had thought that today was the day after the games of yesterday.
“I am not kidding!”
I told him and pointed out my meds on the kitchen counter…
“What you did yesterday was not cool though?’
He said. I laughed and said,
“Don’t be a sore loser! You did fine and didn’t die right?”
I asked him.
“I can see you haven’t started cooking, let me make you or us something to eat. I am far from the best cook but I can manage!”
I didn’t mind really. He was being sweet. It’s nice to be spoiled and pampered.
“Is it ok if I run a bath whilst you start with the cooking? I feel nasty!”
I told him.
This Mbuso and I thing could work hey. He was growing to be a decent man after all. I went to the bathroom and I closed the door. I was not going to bath with the door open even though he suggested it. I tried not to take too long but when I was done I put on track pants and a top.
“I am done; do you need help with anything?”
It was not 10 minutes later when there was a knock on the door.
“Mbuso please open!”
I said to him. He opened and immediately I heard a voice I knew all too well.
It was Rudzani.
“Where are you?”
“I trusted you and you slept with Azwindini!”
She was saying when she came into full view. I looked behind her and there was Azwindini smiling.
“He is lying!”
I immediately said defending myself.
“No he is not! He taped it and played the tape for me!”
Did she say tape it?
“You taped us? You creepy pervert I should have never slept with you, it was a mistake!”
I said angrily at such an invasion of privacy.
“I didn’t tape you, I told her to say that so you can confess and you just did. Thank you! My job here is done!”
I was about to respond when Azwindini jumped over the table and started beating me up.
“You fucken whore! You knew how much I loved him! That’s why you got me sent to Cape Town so you can sleep with him!”
I saw Mbuso try to come to my rescue but Azwindini blocked him saying that it was none of his business it was between the two of them.
“Like hell it is!”
He said and he turned and punched Azwindini who fail on to the coffee table. Thank heavens it didn’t break. I was still pinned down and getting a beating from angry Azwindini when I realized something, this really was my fault.
The fight was on.
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)
Thank you a lot for giving us this platform. Your amazing work touches our heart and lives in so many levels.
My story is long but I desperately need advice very quick.
I was in an r/ship from 2011 to 2014.the guys used to beat me up for absolutely nothing. In the entire four years he beat me up 4 times and abused me verbally almost every day. I spent most of my days with this guy contemplating suicide. We loved each other and were very compatible. He was raised by a single mother and men just left his mom just like that and I started to feel like he is mistreating me because he has never seen his mother being loved by any man. I then finally broke it off in 2014 and dropped out of university because I wasn’t coping.
2015 I enrolled at another university and started afresh. I met this tall, dark and handsome guy with a body to die for a true gentleman that made me amazingly happy. We were both student and I used to help him with his school work cause he was struggling. That makes us stronger. i started seeing the red flags. He was also controlling & abusive. In February he beat me up because we were arguing about God, i was blessing the food with that prayer we are taught in primary school and he said I am too old for that prayer. I told him I am not praying him but God and he must not act like he knows God’s preference and he beat me up so bad and told me to sleep on the bathroom floor the whole night. I forgave him.
in May he beat me up again, i think he was just jealous because i had just had my first car. he started searching for things on my phone and accused me of cheating and said he was beating me up for that. i forgave him still.
He beat me up again in July after i had refused to have unprotected sex with him and he forced me to key in the password on my phone. When i refused he stepped on my other leg and twisted the other one. i forgave him and we started having separate sessions with the psychologist.
In august a guy tried to hug me and i looked at the guy weirdly and he fought me saying i am too weak and available for everyone. He took my phone and i ran after him trying to take it and he strangled me until i lost consciousness and fell face first on hard cement and fainted. i had a terrible scar on my face and we broke up. i went to confide on my friend and he became angry saying i am ruining his image and he will ruin mine by telling people about me secrets.
he locked me up at my place and i got scared and managed to escape and drove off to the police station but was not helped. i went to fetch my brother and had a meeting with my bf, brother and friend. My bf started crying and told stories from the bible. After the meeting was over i still went to his place to have my last moments with him. We talked things through and reconciled.
in 3rd September he beat me up cause i went out with my friends and i ended up drinking and driving. he went to my sister and brother in law and told them that he beat me up cause of this. they sided with him and bought into his story cause he was talking about Jesus and Christianity he doesn’t want me to drink at all (he doesn’t drink ). my family told him that if he ever beat me up again he will regret it and he promised not to do it again.
he then kicked me on the face repeatedly on the 22nd of September, he said he was doing it cause i was laughing when we were talking or rather arguing .this happened two days after we had a joined session at the psychologist and he kept on denying he is wrong and defending himself at the session forgave him again and he dint even ask for forgiveness.
on the 7th of Oct he beat me up to a point where I couldn’t even open my eyes and immediately b4 that he did it he said if I arrest him I will see how great his God is. When my eyes were swollen he calmed down and apologized. He even cried.
I told my family and now we have opened a case against him. He will be locked down tomorrow and my heart is bleeding because I still love him. And exams I nearby so it means he is going to fail and not come back to school next year.
I feel sorry for him because I understand his violence. He was beaten up as a child for absolutely nothing everyday and now he is communicating love to me in that way. He grew up in an environment that turned him to be like this but he doesn’t see it. He is sick and needs help about this. He will have a criminal record. What do I do, do I just toughen up and mess up his life?