Young Employed and Single

Y.E.S 63

“Never make falling in love with a certain person your greatest achievement because when things go bad you will have nothing else to celebrate!” Mike Maphoto


Why do men all let us down like this though? I know there are men who will jump up and say we are not all like that but the truth is you are! The fact that you can’t trust anyone is so unnerving to a girl because ideally we want to open up to you but doing so means we are heading for disaster. It’s always like that. When we open up and things go south we only have ourselves to blame because we should have known better. Thank heavens I had not slept with him! I stared at Esethu rather frozen after what she had said. Logic would have me say that he kissed me after her so as too hurt her back but I was not going to be logical. She was not my friend but she did not deserve for me to tell her things just to stay on top.

“Oh good on you. I hope it works out then because clearly he has chosen you over me!”

I told her. I could see that look of satisfaction on her side as victory was hers. I still had my dignity intact so let him do his thing.

“Thank you. I did not know how I was going to tell you to please back off to give us a chance and you have at least helped me out!”

She said to me with a nervous smile. The humiliation levels right now had levels of their own. I told her why I was here and she gladly gave me the doctor’s note. Imagine, when I came I was not sick at all and now I was carrying a broken heart and that shit hurts.

“I hope we will be friends regardless because I don’t want him losing his friends on my account, I am not that type of girl!”

She concluded as she walked me out. I walked out of that surgery with a vein on the side of my head. That vein only comes out when I am angry and at this stage I was pissed off! This was definitely not how I had intended to start my day. I called Nthabiseng to ask her for advice but she had court and the last thing I wanted to do was call Cindy about such things. I knew I had to try bringing normalcy between us by sharing as we would always share but somehow it did not feel like that.

“Mum, are you home, I am coming to see you?”

I asked her. She said she was not home and would tell me when she got there. I was therefore stuck with the one thing I did not want, going home! I was somehow not feeling the drive home. I needed a lot of things in the house regardless. Eish, I hate shopping for groceries. Growing up my mother had always done that and even in my early university she would do it for me. This was obviously not out of the goodness of her heart but out of the goodness about her budget. One month I pissed her off and she bought me only beans and more beans. I knew then that I had to stay her good side. I stopped by at the shops and went to Pick n Pay. I did not have a shopping list but being single and shopping for one meant that I could pretty much have whatever I wanted. I had not shopped long when I saw a guy whose face was so familiar. He looked at me too and I could sense recognition in his eyes. Shit! It’s embarrassing when you don’t remember a person and they recognize you.


The guy said to me.

“Hi back!”

I said and walked away but he followed me.

“You don’t recognize me I see, we go to the same gym and you kind of disappeared!”

He said. Ah that’s where I knew his face from. The thing is when I got to gym; much as I am lazy I want to focus on why I am there that day. I don’t like it when these thirsty men are all after me because it just kills my concentration.

“Oh yes. I remember!

I said but I was lying. I was clueless. He was a good looking guy though he was not muscular at all. It’s like half the people that go to gym, they sound right when you talk to them about it but they don’t have an ounce of toning on their body.

“What brings you shopping on workday afternoon?”

I asked him out of politeness because clearly he wanted to talk.

“I have been slacking on my diet so I need a few things. I need to get my butt in shape!”

He said which made me laugh as that had come out of nowhere. Were these the metrosexuals they all talk about, those guys you find at Fourways Farmers Market drinking craft beer?

“Well your butt looks fine to me! I am sure you already knew that!”

I could not help but feel rather warm towards him.

“Thanks for the compliment! So when are we hanging out?”

He asked me. This guy was confident.

“I don’t even know your name though I told him!”

He blushed and actually put his hands on his mouth and said,

“Oh my word I am sorry, I thought you knew I am Kat, short for Katlego!”

A guy who calls himself Kat. Interesting. I told him my name and we swapped numbers.

“Anyway thanks for the laugh, I have to go my boyfriend is waiting outside in the car!”

He said and with that he walked away. Had he said boyfriend? I think I heard him right. As soon as he was out of earshot I burst out laughing. He had not been hitting on me he was just being friendly. Goodness even my ancestors were taking a piss on me now if I was now thinking even gay guys were after me. I paid my bill and drove home.

As soon as I got home my sister called me. Goodness even I was surprised because she hardly ever calls and let alone during the day as she always gets busy.

“Hi sis what’s up?”

She said on the other side, I greeted her back and asked all the usual that come in a greeting.

“Mums birthday is coming up and we need to come up with something for her. We must take her out at the very least you know!”

Ah, I had forgotten and here I was thinking for the next few days I would avoid all things mom.

“Pam you need to come through so we can talk! Let’s mot do this over the phone and I feel like you have been avoiding me!”

I told her. We had not hung out properly ever since I hit her husband. It felt as though I had pushed her away. She did not open as much as she used to and that worried. My sister needed me.

“That’s not true, I have just been busy that’s all. Yes we can hangout; I will tell you when I am free!”

She said and I knew at that moment that she was never going to tell me. I had to be aggressive with her and go to her place or office to see her.

“I have to go anyway but don’t forget to come up with what to do for her birthday.”

She said and went on to hang up. I just felt like everything of mine was literally sitting a knife edge and one false move everything would fall apart. I considered taking a nap but I realized that if I did so it would mean I would have sleeping problems tonight so rather not. I took out my laptop and got to work. Was not going to be behind, I was going to be ahead.

I didn’t even realize that it was dark outside already by the time I stood up. I had probably put in four hours of work and was pretty impressed with myself. As I took pots to cook there was a knock at my door.

“Who is it?”

I shouted from the inside.

“It’s Mbuso!”

Crap, what did he want?

“Hey you!”

He said cheerfully with a bottle of wine and two glasses in his hands. Men! They really think that all women are stupid and can’t play their game.

“What do you want?”

I asked him coldly. He was not getting into my house no matter what.

“What do I want?”

He asked confused and I think that took him out of stride or game for he practically stuttered that out!

“Yes what do you want? Don’t you have things to do or other people to do?”

I asked him cheekily.

“I don’t follow. Are you angry at me for kissing you because if you are I can’t apologize for something I totally enjoyed?”

He said smugly. I could punch him in the face right now but my mama taught me that violence is never a solution.

“Well I didn’t so yes, you can go home now! I have nothing to say to you. You humiliated me and I don’t appreciate that at all!”

I told him angrily. I could see the confusion on his face, yeah, he didn’t think she would have told me so fast but that’s what women do, we good at marking out our territory!

“You have confused me hey but ok!”

He said, his hands dropping on his side like a disappointed child who has been denied something they wanted.

“Ok then. Next time you think of placing your lips on another woman’s lips, please do not come to my house and plant those same lips on me ok!”

I said very coldly!

“What kiss?”

He asked but I totally ignored him. How dare he play coy with me? He was only making it worse!

“If I wanted to kiss her I would have done so myself without your help, thank you very much!”

I said and I shut the door immediately. I was so annoyed at him.

The tears just rolled down!

I was doomed; my ancestors were playing with me!

*********The End********

Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)

Dear Mike

Dear Mike
I’m a 25 years old lady who’s doing final year in teaching. My problem is, I’ve been a side chick for almost 3 years. First year that I met my boyfriend is that I didn’t know that he has a main chick. But when i find out i decided to go with the flow and see how things will go. Until in the second year where i could see that being a side chick I’m hurting myself and i deserve much better. I broke up with him while i was still very much in love with him. I tried to move on but the relationship that i was in, i realised that i still miss my ex and i knew that deep down i still love my ex a lot and i used to compare the good guy with my ex. After 6 months my ex decided to pop up and I went back to him knowing that I will be a side chick. I broke up with the good man coz I knew that I don’t love him. I have tried several times to break up with this guy but problem is I deeply love him. We share a lot of things in common and I enjoy spending time with him. I know he won’t live his gf for me. My problem now is, I know I need to move on but I’m scared of him not being in my life. It’s like I’m addicted to him…without him I’m miserable. Where should I begin?
From Loyal side chick

22 thoughts on “Y.E.S 63

  1. @ side chick. You need to stand in front of a mirror every morning and say to yourself ” he does not love you, he does not love you ” say this until it gets through your skull. Take time to mourn your loss of him and after that you will be ready to get another, you are still young. You deserve to be with someone who is excited to be yours as much as you are about them. You deserve to be the main one too. Just morn him

  2. Thnx Mike

    Mxm Side dish, you know hes not gonna leave his girlfriend because he loves her but wena still ulandelana naye, I seriously dont understand this thing of side chicks and how you think. Uyazi ukuthi awuthandwa kodwa wena you cant even imagine your life without him nciii Thanda umuntu Okuthandayo

    1. @Nolly cc inhliziyo ayiphakelwa, im not saying u sidechick uright but it happens ukuthi ube deeply inlove with someone who does not deserve you, kuyaphumeka but it not as easy as you think….Trust me i have been there i know how it feels

  3. Lol! loyal side chick? hayi girl.. start seeing other people, not to fall inlove, but to open your eyes.. widen your horizons. You cant wanna be loyal to someone that is not even yours in the first place. You are digging yourself an even deeper hole. That guy is clearly not one to be loyal, so even if he were to leave his gf for you, he would cheat on you too. Get yourself together gal, there are way too many men on planet earth for you to be settling for such. Put your big girl panties on asseblief, I’m so over girls getting hurt by half-ass’ing men. CAN WE CLAIM OUR POWER BACK TUU!

    Sorry to advertise on your blog brother Mike.. loyal side chick, do yourself a favour and start reading blackgirlsareeasy(dot)com.. It will give you a warm klap and hopefully snap you back to reality. That man will forever toy with you because you are a readily available itch-scratcher.. shapa reverse on that love you give him and direct it inwards, you are way more deserving of it. YOU ARE THE PRIZE, not his sorry ass!

  4. lmao that doctor lied wow… I think she’s stalking Mbuso and Lungi. desparado. thanks for the good read Mike

    loyal side chick, you’ll adapt to being without him… leave him because you’re hurting yourself more than he could possibly hurt you. second best isn’t even second best, it’s plain second. try being with someone else, don’t waste time that you can never get back… Apart from the karma sermon, will you be able to watch him walk down the aisle with another woman while he’s with you? will you be able to watch him shower your scent off, put his ring back on and go home to his wife after sleeping with you? you deserve better mama. I wish you all the best and I hope you can get out of this situation soon.

  5. You start by loving yourself more again.. By that I mean invest in yourself and emotions.. Wah used to make you happy before you were with this guy? What’s your purpose in life? Wah are the thangs you want tuh accomplish?!. I’d say focus more on that…. DO YOU BABY GIRL.. Clearly he isn’t into you like you are and he knows it hence he will always take advantage of you… Yaz’ I’ve never seen anyone doe and the cause of death > being single… Don’t let another person define you or your happiness hao

  6. You Mbuso. Could he be innocent? Maybe Sfiso is the one for you. But aunty did say that you can negotiate with your ancestors. Clearly Lungi likes Mbuso, I say he should be given a chance to explain himself

  7. Thanks Mikeesto, awesome one buddy.

    As long as you do not see your worth, and you measure your happiness as non existent without this parasite you call a boyfriend then you shall remain a side chick. It doesnt take a rocket scientist to solve this equation sisi. Wake up, say you deserve better, dump his lousy ass, cry about it and move on. So here it is x+y(zeroxhero)= 1 or rather YOU.

    Lets not make foolishness fashionable ladies, its a major turn off.


  8. But how can u honestly be a side chick for 3yrs??? Eating side dish instead of dishing from the main course u go and be a loyal side chick to someone who will clearly need u to be quiet and not show up on his wedding day to embarrass his stupid ass. Have u no shame kambe shuwa?? You sit there and calm ur self down wen u cold and horny at night coz ur man is busy with his woman. U need a huge slap back to reality my dear, that man don’t want u, he came back coz he knew he culd fuk u again and now 3yrs later his still fucking u. Hayi ke if u cant smell ur own armpits u need Devine intervention. Zithande sisi wami. There’s too many men out there for u to share

  9. Oh my word Loyal girlfriend I hope you get to read this… I was in the same situation 2 years back what’s worse is that my ex was with friends with my brother so there were things I found from my brother about him and his main. His person got pregnant and engaged and I was still sold dreams. My advice would be leave this guy and never look back, don’t go into a relationship though. Be with yourself find yourself love yourself. Like go out with friends and live life to the fullest, someone that’s God’s sent will find you without you looking for him.

  10. Dankie abuti Mike. The most confusing “thing” ever is LOVE. The funny part is those who like sharing other ppl’s partners don’t like to share their’s with others.
    Side chick – U remind me of a side-chick who wanted to go ask for space on the mattress when the guy kicked the bucket. Allow me to quote hlaudi, “…..there’s that thing lacking, that thing…..”. Go find it. The moment U find it, U will have the courage & confidence to move on without looking back. Find it lady. Otherwise if U don’t find it, U will be running in circles.

  11. Hi dude side, only when you trully love ur self will you know that you deserve better. And the is now way you can’t leave with out him

  12. Loyal side chick… Lmfao the irony! Seriously its should be a book title or movie perhaps. Well as for advice… Nah I’ve got none, but cool signature though. Loyal side chick lol as I live and breath. #classic

  13. Thanks bhut mike we learn a lot from this blog .
    Side Chick, dont give what you dont receive back. If you seriously want to get out of that you need to be more agressive, dont entertain anything from him. Its not easy but you will learn. No small talk, no Hello, just nothing. Block and delete everywhere, if you happen to bump onto him dont greet, just nod and pass.


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