Young Employed and Single

Y.E.S 53

“Never assume you know anyone. The sheep are the often the wolves and at times those that appear like wolves are the good ones. Just because someone talks right does not mean he or she is right!” Mike Maphoto


Motherhood is something every woman takes seriously. It’s a more than just a bond between two people. It’s a relationship, a connection, a reason for living and more. It’s something you can’t explain. Its love of the purest kind, no conditions, no shortcuts and no fakeness. That’s the best I got right now and it’s not even me speaking because I was not sure what had just happened. When you are not a biological mother you will never fully appreciate what it means and I was that person right now. I have heard of mothers who will die for their children, who will sacrifice anything and everything and I always thought it’s made for the movies. Why had this moment affected me so much though?

“Ntheteng’s mum?”

Is that what she had called just called me? I looked at this precious little girl and I honestly did not know what to say.

“Mum say something!”

She said turning around with a huge smile on her face. It was as though she was pleading with me and my heart broke.

“Hello little girl. So you are one of my daughter’s friends from school? What is your name?”

I asked her.

“My name is Kholo!”

She told me.

“Well it’s a pleasure to meet you Kholo!”

I told the little girl.

“Ntheteng’s mum, please come to our school concert next weekend. Ntheti never comes because you are always sick. I am glad you are all better now!”

She told me. It’s easy to lie to a child, we all tod it that’s the truth. We all lie to them about one small thing or the other. It’s how parents get away with a lot of things. I was not a parent however and that made me different in that the guilt set in immediately.

“Yes of course I will come. I have been feeling much better lately and I doubt I will be sick again for a very long time to come!”

I reassured the girl. I had just lied to a child wow. If I thought heaven was far now it was even further away. Here I was with all my pride lying to seven year olds.

“Ntheteng let’s go, your father will be getting worried now!”

I told her. Truth is I was the one who was worried now but mostly because I was uncomfortable.

“Ok see you tomorrow!”

She said to her friend and we walked away. I was not sure what to say now as she ate her ice cream. The ride home was very quiet.

“Hey guys how was your trip?”

Mbuso asked when we walked into the house. I think he was so comfortable with me being with Ntheteng he had not even missed us.

“It was awesome daddy. We had so much fun right Aunty Lungi?”

Ntheteng said so sweetly she even hugged me.

“Yes it was fun.”

I said back so as not to disappoint her. Mbuso raised his hand as though in triumph and said,

“I knew you would!”

Which annoyed me for some reason? I was overwhelmed and I just wanted to go home.

“I am leaving. See you guys tomorrow!”

I said and turned immediately. I think it took Mbuso by surprise because he came after me.

“Is everything ok?”

He asked me as I approached my door.

“We need to talk!”

I told him when I turned to look at him. I was also making sure that Ntheteng had not followed him out. He was alone thank heavens.

“Did something happen?”

He asked me sounding concerned. Hell yeah something had happened the only problem is I was not sure what it is that had happened.

“I am not quite sure!”

I told him about meeting Ntheteng’s friend at the shops. He listened attentively and at the end of it all said,

“I am sorry. At times it’s hard for her at school because when other kids talk about their mommies she is forced to make up stories just to fit in. She did not mean to freak you out but she is a child and you the first woman I have allowed into our lives so she is just … I don’t know!”

I don’t blame him for not having answers. I did not have them either.

“I have to go!”

I told him.

“I am sorry!”

He apologized again.

“It’s not a big deal I guess.”

I said as I walked into my house. I locked the door behind me not for safety sake but because I wanted him and his child to be far away from me. I felt so awkward, I felt so bad but I was so not comfortable.

I needed to talk to someone who understood me to explain to me why I was feeling like this. I was feeling guilty for something I didn’t even do. Miriam might have her faults but we have shared so much over the years so she got me. I called her.

“Why are you so scarce dude?”

She asked me as soon as she picked up the phone. Funny enough it’s what I would have said to her because she was the one who had disappeared on me.

“I am around. Your mom wanted me to back off so I chilled a bit. She blames me for the police station!”

I told her.

“I know my mom. Sometimes it feels like she is the one married in this house. She is always here causing havoc but my husband seems not to mind so I will ride the wave as long it stands!”

She explained.

“My husband? I still can’t get over you saying that hey. What happened to us? Just yesterday we were little girls and now we are wives and are paying tax!”

I thought out loud and she laughed.

“Yes it’s true. I sometimes find myself laughing when I think of it. Someone calls me a wife imagine, a wife! Remember when we used to play house with Modjadji and Tapiwa? Then your sister caught us …l

She started and I cut her off,

“That was not us Miriam that was you but anyway am calling because I found myself a guy and he appears awesome in every way…”

I explained to her.

“Awesome in every way BUT? There is always a but with you!”

She said cutting me off.

“Well yes there is a but, but it’s not always ok. Firstly his name is Mbuso and the problem is he has a child, a seven year old!”

I told her.

“I need someone to take some sense into me Miriam. A guy with a kid is a bad idea right?”

I asked her. She laughed at me.

“I don’t see the problem!”

She said which stopped me in my track.

“Are you worried about him or the child?”

She asked.

“Obviously the kid! Why is my life so complicated?”

I said.

“Come on, it’s a short cut. I have always thought it was a bad idea but now as I get older I wouldn’t mind hey. It’s too late now am married.”

She said,

“What have you done with my friend? Bring her back right now!”

I said laughing with her.

“It’s me. A child never did anything wrong and what’s worse is that you are now judging that child as though it is the one to be blamed for all this which is not true!”

She explained.

“So what do I do now?”

I asked her.

“Don’t lose Mbuso because you are unsure of the kid. She is not in your way and if anything she is into you. That’s a bonus!”

She explained to me. Miriam was the one person I had thought would say hell no and her saying all these things made my situation even more confusing. What should I do now?

“Enough about me how is the married life?”

I asked her.

“It’s so boring. People make it seem like it’s the greatest thing you can ever do but its hard work. You know when you date someone you always know that you have that option of going home. Marriage is different hey; you know you are stuck forever! I promise you, don’t rush into it if you not ready!”

She said. Why is it married people don’t usually advise you to get married? Anyone you ask tells you to wait. It’s not very encouraging actually if you are going to be honest.

“So you saying I should not get married?”

I asked her.

“I am not saying that. I have to go now. Hubby doesn’t like me on the phone too late so let me go before he gets too excited. We will talk tomorrow!”

She said and that was goodnight. It had been a hectic day and tomorrow was back to work. I wanted to sleep early so I took a long bath. Sunday TV is no longer the same to be honest with Date My Family gone and I can’t stand Idols so watched the last part of Our Perfect Wedding and Rockville. Like everyone else Ngema got my blood boiling but somewhere amidst all that I fell asleep on the couch. When I woke up to drag myself to bed it was 2am in the morning. Fortunately as soon as I got into my room I passed out again.

“Good morning sir!”

I said to him. He seemed to be in a good mood.

“Good morning Lungi! Come to my office please let’s have a chat?”

He said and I followed him.

“Mr. Tizora asked for a meeting today. He is back. We hope we are going to sign this thing finally with you in charge of the project. If all goes to plan this could be a huge performance bonus for you!”

He said. I am not really someone motivated by money but a bonus is always good. I wanted to buy a house now because renting really is not for me. Why pay someone else’s bond when I could be paying for my own? It sounds so much better. This is the huge difference between private and public sector, for a job well done you get a bonus. In government for a job well done you see someone else’s cousin who only has matric get the job above you!

“Yes sir, I will get it done. What time does he want to come in?”

I asked him.

“At 3pm. We will give you the conference room and you are on your own on this one!”

He said and that was the end of the meeting. I stood up and left his office. I was a bit confused because why had Simba asked to make the meeting through him when I was the one bringing it in. I was his liaison and go to person.

“You are over thinking this!”

I told myself out loud as I headed to my new office. In a funny way I missed Rudzani. I decided to call her.

“Hey, it’s weird you not being here!”

I told as soon as she picked up.

She was crying.

“What’s wrong?”

I asked her.

“That bastard broke up with me… Azwindini broke up with me and said he found someone better! How can he be so cruel?”

She asked me?

Goodness what was wrong with that guy?

********The End**********

Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)

Hi DOAZG Readers… here’s to my mini novel
Mike you write the greatest stories and I love them to bits

So here goes
I am from Mpumalanga and went to Cape Town on a project for work. I bumped into this guy on a few occasions of which I thought he was really handsome. Later on in the year he became our project planner and I had to work with him on a daily basis for work and stuff and then we grew close. I realised that he was everything that I wanted in a man. He ticks all the right boxes and he had a thing for me too. We then became friends and went out on a date and that’s when the real problem started. I fell really hard for him and according to him, he fell for me too. But the problem is that he has a girl that he has been dating for the last 10 years. They are currently in long distance relationship and broke up last year but got back together again.
He says that he loves me and that we are meant to be but he can’t leave her. He says he has no choice and it hurts so bad cause I love him so much. I have been trying to get over him but I can’t. He broke up with me in May and we didn’t talk for almost 2 months. I then went back to work for his company and he has been on the prowl since. He comes to our offices every day, sometimes 2 to 3 times a day and I seem to make him so nervous that he sometimes shakes around me.
My issue is that we have been getting close again and it feels like I am starting to love him even more than I did the last time. He has consumed me, I think of him all the time and even dream about him. I am even job hunting so that I can leave and be able to get over him but I am still here. I love him, his voice, his smile and when he laughs my world is OK. Just the thought of him makes me happy, he is practically the male version of me. I love him with all my heart and I wish he were mine.
He is pursuing me again, should I go with it or should I let him go, cause I don’t share, even when I love him this much. I can’t
Help me
#Stuck on him

19 thoughts on “Y.E.S 53

  1. Yhu Azwindini is an ass bathong! arrogant idiot..

    Stuck on him
    I know that feeling all too except with me there is no girlfriend of 10years, just a random broad that is sleeping on the greatness of this awesome guy. Shuu! if you are strong girl, make like me and do whatever it takes to snatch the dude lol. Otherwise just cut your losses and start seeing other people, get out and meet new people and ask that dude to give you space until you are okay with being without him. At this point, you need to figure out what it is that YOU want and work on that. Whatever decision you make WILL hurt because you are either without him, or you are going to be in battle for him…. its not about to get fun for you shem. Strongs.

  2. U don’t share let him go, but I do know exactly what you mean. I have that him too but let go & love him from a distance. Don’t get close to him unless it’s work related qha

  3. Beautiful Chapter Thanks BraMike.

    Stuck on him, That guys story doesnt add up. It doesnt make sense to be in a commited relationship with someone firstly, for 10 years and secondly in a distance relationship without a marriage proposal or a promise or partnership, and he says he loves you, u were meant to be together but he can’t leave her. I dont know how the hell on the lord’s green earth do you say such things in one sentence. Uyakuhlanyela loyo.

  4. Great chapter Mike.

    Sisi 10 years in a relationship is a very long time without commitment. That should say a lot about him. Why can’t he leave her and still not marry her. I would stay away if I were you. This ain’t worth it.

  5. #StuckOnHim I wish you had mentioned both your ages then maybe it would make sense on why he has been dating someone for 10 years and there is no further commitment, with that being said he could have a serious commitment with his girlfriend but he is not telling you the whole truth! Who knows this girlfriend could be his wife or baby mam with 3 kids thus he can’t break up with her.

    Do yourself a favor, spare your heart from the heartbreak of what the eventuality of the truth might be and stay away from this dude! He is Mr Perfect and that is because there is another girl who has been training him for 10 years to be perfect. Amadoda awananyani sisi, I once met a guy who was too perfect, we met at work he worked for a parastatal company and I work for government. He made it seem like him and his girlfriend of many years have issues and they are on the verge of breaking up but something would just not add up with him so I put on my investigative cap on and I found out that the girlfriend that he claimed to be breaking up with is actually 7 months preggies and they are in the process of getting married, lobola and ish was finalised.

    So dear, do yourself a favour and look for a glue remover and un-stuck yourself from him otherwise we will again read another letter from yous saying you are preggies and Mr Perfect has a wife and kids. RUN!!!!

  6. Sweetheart there are many men out there…don’t settle for the one who doesn’t care abt your feelings…..he is probably pursuing you again bcos he knows that you love him very much and you won’t Turn him down… were living before u knew him….you will still live without him.

    1. Athi, can I plz have the GPS coordinates where these “many men” you mention are found. I could use some right now since there is men drought in Kaapstad.. 🙂

  7. Lungi `s love life is starting to confuse me. Mbuso. Sfiso. Simba. As I wait to see, and hope for a clear ending with Mbuso.

    I dont know about this Stuck on him story. I wait for the day when someone has a simple love story with “normal” challenges. Anyways, if it were me: I dont like undecisive men. This should not even be a challenge for you. If he loves her, he must choose her and stick with it, if he loves you; he must choose you and stick with it. This childish games people played in high school of I love both you and dont know how to choose is played by selfish men. But thats me. You must decide what is best for your, if you fight for him, you will have to fight to keep him. He obviously aint loyal and like others have said, 10 years and he doesnt want to commit, angeke…. Good luck ke.

  8. Brada Mike, that was deep stuff there at the beginning. I felt like putting myself in Ntheteng’s shoes & then Lungi’s shoes & kind of got lost in the emotions. Deep stuff.
    Stuck on him, go with the flow, U can’t fight love. BUT, make sure the third party is not on the picture this time around. U didn’t mention if U guys did the dance but don’t give in so early until the coast is really clear. If he hasn’t made up his mind then rather move on, bcz the next thing will lead to another as UR head over heels here.
    If U believe in dancing after marriage then let him wait for it. Gudluck.

  9. Bra Mike Thank you for the great chapter.

    Stuck on him…..10 years…? Whoo shem!!!! Throw that fish back into the sea. Not worth it. Maybe you just in love with the idea of him. Him being around and paying attention to you bla bla bla. So before you hurt yourself any further….shiya phansi!

  10. Thanks Mikeesto 🙂

    Stuck, You need weigh the pros and cons here, yes you love this man but is he really worth the trouble? You are a side chick mos so do you think that’s best for you? This man might indeed love you but clearly it isn’t enough for him to leave the other for you. This is where it actually gets tricky, if you are not giving this dude the full package then it’s pointless for him to leave his main for you, you need to be able to be his entire world by being you, if that isn’t good enough then find someone that will be completed by your existence, someone that will cherish even your most constipated fart.

    10 years doesn’t mean you have to propose people, I came out of that long term thing kwangathi yi ten seconds. Circumstances dictate how things go down and rushing into marriage with the wrong person may be the cause to your demise, literally. So Stuck, the only way I was able to leave my high school sweetheart after 126 months together(Yes 126 MONTHS) was because we reached a point where I wasn’t happy and she wasn’t happy. I found happiness elsewhere and that has been my main thing since. So give this dude what he doesn’t get but don’t let him take advantage of your heart, coz break it he will.

    Hope I made sense, hang over is on Viagra over here.


    1. 126 months??!!!!!! LOL lol lol and you couldn’t say roughly 10 and a half years. Your hangover is not that bad, your sense of humour is fully functional lol…

    2. I too dont understand this “why hasn’t he married her after 10years?” thing.. is there a standard timeline on this love thing???? people get married after 3months.. some after 3years.. others? 3weeks.. some get married after 5years and are divorced a year later.. there are way too many factors to run and say this man lacks commitment because of a 10year relationship. I know a couple that’s been together just as long and they have their first baby on the way.. still not married and both not yet ready to take that step.

      What if he marries this girl after just a year?

  11. You are describing my relationship of 13 years…he finally proposed after getting tired of fooling around – his words not mine.
    My dear, one thing you should know about guys who take long to propose, they love their bread buttered on both sides. At home he has a loving girlfriend who gives him all the benefits of being a wife (minus the ring/lobola), and outside he loves the attention & exciting s#xual positions he gets from the side chics.
    He probably wont leave his woman because they have been through so much together (gulity conscience & family pressure sometimes) and he wont jump into your arms because he’s scared of being a one woman man. Remember he has a history & has made it very clear he is not gonna walk away from the 10yr old relationship.

    The choice is yours, you either love him as is & he keeps stringing both of you along. And cry when he marries his *high school sweatheart* (like in my case), or you walk away & find yourself another smiling d!ck that you can lay claim to.

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