A lot of women have never experienced this or when they did they were not prepared to accept this. When a man loves you truly he will forgive you for even the worst things you do. It’s easy to judge me for having cheated and calling
Neo weak for having forgiven me but reality is how many women have forgiven cheating men? Why did they do that? People like saying it’s because of the kids or the family that you are too scared to break but what if the simple truth is because you love that man even if he breaks your heart? Why are people so quick to dismiss that and replace it with how stupid the woman is for forgiving when really if you love your man you love your man good and bad. True love has no conditions and Neo loved me. You can be angry at your partner, fight with your partner and even walk out of the house because you are gatvol but if the love is there you will come back and kiss and make up like it never happened. People also remind you of how it will never be the same but as long as he is back in your bed you will make it the same for him.
I sat in the room for about five minutes. I wanted him to think I was feeling ashamed and down. When he didn’t follow I went back to the kitchen.
“If you want me to leave I will leave. I didn’t expect him to call because I had told him not to call! I told him never to call me again. I just don’t know how to block people!”
I said, tears running down my cheeks.
He did not respond but continued whisking those eggs so much so that I thought they will turn into water. I went back into the room again. Maybe I had miscalculated the power I had over him. My phone rang again and my heart leapt. Who could it be this time? I did not shout out this time because it only rang twice and it hung up. Five minutes later as I was about to go there he walked in.
He certainly took his time but at least this time he had followed. When you date someone you must know your person and I knew mine, I knew him. He would never just throw in the towel like that.
“I can’t say I am happy but we will work through this. Come eat your breakfast because I know you don’t like it cold!”
He said and went back out. This was going to take long I see but I had the patience.
“The problem is you do not believe me. I don’t blame you but there is no other way I can show you I am telling the truth!”
I told him.
“So was it your idea that he calls as you are saying that there no other way?”
He asked me. He was using my own words against me.
“Of course not. Do you think I see this as a game? I know what I did was wrong and I am sorry.”
I told him. He finished with the eggs. It was a simple breakfast, students don’t normally do the whole bacon and sausage thing, and it’s too expensive.
“Can I pray first?”
I told him. He was surprised because honestly I never pray and who prays for breakfast in any case? Supper you can pray for but breakfast is a bit of overkill!
“Sure go ahead!”
He said. I closed my eyes and when I peeped with one eye he was just staring at me.
“Dude close your eyes come on!”
I told him.
“Dear Lord please make Neo forgive me after the nice breakfast. Amen!”
I said and he said amen.
“This is all funny to you neh?”
He asked me.
“Of course not but I am guilty of not going through with it. That’s my crime! I don’t want you to stay angry and I am going to do whatever it takes to get you smiling again.”
I told him and I meant it. I loved this guy and he knows this. I had never actually done anything wrong before so this was my first crime.
“No you are guilty of even thinking of it, of lying and of making me look like I can’t take care of you and us. You didn’t trust me enough to be happy with the little that we have, you wanted more! How can I ever fully trust you again?”
He asked me angrily.
“You can’t, you shouldn’t but I promise that from today onwards I will work hard each and every day to regain your trust. That much I promise you!”
I told him. Well it was genuine enough. After eating I washed the dishes and put them away. They were not many. He was sitting by his computer next to my phone. I went to check on who had buzzed me. It was Khanyi. I called her back.
“Hey, how did the burial go?”
I asked her.
“Everything went fine. My father and I are coming back later in the afternoon. We are catching a ride with one of my cousins but dude it has been very awkward since Yolanda and you left. Everyone seems to blame us!”
She told me. At least that was sorted.
“But what did you expect, you threw her out like a dog and I told you before, she was only guilty of loving your father!”
I reminded her.
“Hey watch it, you supposed to be on my side and we supposed to hate her together remember!”
She warned me. I know. As her friend I was supposed to take her side, that’s what true friends do but realistically she was asking for too much.
“I know Khanyi, you always remind me!”
I told her.
“That’s true, I shouldn’t ALWAYS have to!”
She said emphasizing the ‘always’. She said it as though she was running out of patience with me.
“I am with Neo. Let me go and stop being rude!”
I told but Neo asked me to stop and wanted to talk to her. I panicked a little; did he want to ask her questions?
He began. I couldn’t hear what she said but when he said,
“I just wanted to offer my condolences and hopefully everything went well.”
I breathed a huge sigh of relief. She said something and then he said,
And then he hung up. That went well I thought. He was still tense so I had a plan B in mind.
“Is it ok if I go take a shower? I feel and look filthy.”
I asked him.
“Since when do you need permission to bath here? You can do as you please!”
He said. It was not the nicest response from him but I can work with that.
“Please don’t leave!”
I told him.
“Leave and go where? I live here!”
He responded. He was still not happy with me I could tell but I never thought I could fix this over night.
I went and took a shower as I put my plan B into motion.
“Neo what are you doing?”
I asked him as I came out.
“Nothing, am watching series!”
He said. He was not doing work.
“How come you haven’t received any Uber calls is everything alright?”
I asked him.
“I am off duty. I only Uber after 3 so that it doesn’t mess with my class schedule!”
He reminded me. He sounded a bit impatient in his answers though.
“Would you mind sitting on the couch, there is something I want to show you?”
I told him with a smile on my face. He looked a bit confused but just stared back without moving.
“Neo please come on I am trying here!”
I said. He stood up and went on the couch as I had asked and I smiled.
I don’t know if men have it, what we wear can make us feel so powerful as woman. On the day I look good my confidence sky rockets. I feel like I can conquer the world. On the day I feel like something is not sitting just right that confidence and self belief can take a plunge like no other. I know other girls go through it too. I look in the mirror and God knows I felt special.
“I would like to make it up to you!”
I told him.
“How are you going to do that?”
He asked me!
I took of my dress which left me in the new lingerie I had bought. I had never worn it because well, garters are not things you wear every day. Black girls are not big on lingerie not because they don’t want to but because it’s expensive. The right lingerie, the one that’s meant to seductive naughty and fun is out of our price range but again, it’s no excuse for a girl to wear Mr. Price. There I put my foot down! Stripes on your underwear like they have stretch marks can never be forgiven if you are with king bae! If you intend to seduce your man in Mr. Price underwear you deserve to be cheated on. No, the lingerie has to be perfect and thank heavens Sam was big on it. He liked role playing so much that he has bought me a lot of that. For Neo I chose white (because I am dark skinned) silky stockings with a suspender belt, matching white lacy top with very delicate buttons on the front. The material was sheer enough for the nipples to be seen. I wore a lacy white g string and by the way he looked at me I knew I had replaced that anger with lust! I had high heels on and I stood there!
“This was meant to be for your birthday Daddy…”
I had never ever called him that before and I could see he sat up surprised.
“You don’t want to be my daddy?”
I asked him when he did not respond. Men are weird creatures! Is it not the creepiest thing that a man fucking you wants you to call him daddy? Is it not just crazy and perverse! Dad or daddy is a word a child calls its father so by saying daddy what is he fantasizing about!
He said and he let out a small whistle!
“Well then thank your birthday because you are about to get your present sooner than you deserve!”
I said making a slow twirl so he could see my skimpy G-string from the back, barely covering my ass!
Even from here I could hear him swallow spit!
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)
Hey bra mike & all loyal readers
Firstly I would like to say thank you for the great work that you & your team do each and every day.
Am a young lady aged 26 & I met the guy am currently staying with 6years ago, we have 2 kids together plus he has one from outside. We met when we both had nothing at all but we hustled.
The problem started when our first born was 7mnths old when this guy told m he was HIV+, I didn’t judge him or anything but rather I encouraged him that we go together for clinical checkups & everything so that I get tested too. Surprisingly I don’t know how or what happened but each & every time we went together to the clinic my results always came & still come out negative till this day. Even my kid’s are negative except for him. He was loving caring until this whole thing. He started sleeping out, like sleep out for two days & come home pretending everything is okay. He never gave any explanation; mind you we are staying at his family home sharing the house with his sister. Whenever I complain to her she never helps in any way. From sleeping outside he then went to being verbally abusive took all that from him in the name of love & always told myself that he would change. I even have to drag him to the clinic to get his meds, remind him to drink them when its time because on his own he doesn’t dream of taking them. Now the big problem is, we started from scratch, I was selling atchar & he was a mechanic, we saved enough to open a spaza shop. It’s always loaded & it makes enough money. He now stopped consulting me in any business decision like before & started consulting his sister, every decision thy make I hear it from outsiders not them, he even made her his financial manager, when I need something he says I have to tell his sister so that she should be the one giving me money, we are talking about same business that I started with him not his sister. When I want simple airtime or anything I have to beg her first. When I tell him that I am not comfortable with this new arrangement he dismisses m off like a school kid. Am I being unrealistic when I want to control what’s rightfully mine? How do I go about it so that he should meet me half way because everything I say falls on deaf ears? I have been nothing but supportive & loyal towards this man but everything I do for him seems to go unappreciated.
Please I need advice on this.