Let’s talk nudes! I know women are embarrassed to come forth and say that they have posted them before but the truth
is most have. If you grew up in the age of the camera phone, your inner porn star once upon a time came out. Yes there are those that are either religious of have such strong moral integrity they can’t put themselves in that situation but how many of them are. People have gotten famous on nudes or nudity from Pulane to Kim K so it’s not like it’s an amazing eventuality that this was not my first time taking a nude. The difference is and was I had sent all the other nudes especially in high school at my own will not like this when I was being forced like at this moment.
“I didn’t send it!”
I lied in my response.
“That’s awesome! I would have called you incredibly stupid if you did lol”
She responded. I guess I was ‘incredibly stupid” after all. I should never have listened to her in the first place but regretting was not going take it back. I did not want to call her but I chose to call my sister. I know she was up because she never slept before midnight.
“What do you want?”
She asked me when she picked up!
“Ah that is so mean!”
“I am just kidding. Hey sis how are you?”
She asked me.
“Thank you. I am good thank you. Isn’t that better than all this hostility. I really wish I could talk to you at times because I don’t have anyone to confide in!”
I told her.
“Unless you are dying please don’t make be that girl that listens to gossip and talks about guys. It’s not what I see myself doing as a woman because it’s what holds us back.”
She said. How did my mother even give birth to this weird creature really was the question that should have been first to come to mind but it could not overtake how women sharing ideas and a shoulder between each other held them back. I had to ask,
“How did you come up with that conclusion?”
I asked her.
“I reckon if women spent the time they spend talking to women better they would be further in whatever they do. Imagine how long you spend discussing every time something happens? It must be exhausting!”
She said reaching her conclusion. Well in my defence women understand one another better and we more or less go through the same shit so it’s easier to advise one another. Trusting each other on the other hand is not always easy.
“I just wanted to hear your voice and say goodnight! I am sorry I disturbed you!”
I told her.
“Next time call when I am not studying!”
And with that she hung up. I really did not have a good relationship with her and she was my sister. I looked at my phone to see who else I could but realized very quickly I did not have many friends. I knew people yes but I could not just call anyone to talk even if I wanted to.
I took a shower and when I came back I had a missed called from Sam. He had said he would call before his flight left. It was 11pm already, damn. I called him back.
“Sorry I was in the shower!”
I told him when I picked up.
“I have just boarded. There was an hour delay but I will be on my way out shortly. Did you get to Jhb ok?”
He asked me.
“I did thank you. I am at res now getting ready for bed. Sorry about how things went down in Durban.”
I told him. I was referring to the fight we had even though the apology should be from him to me in this case. I am not the one who had slept with someone else.
“Its fine, you are not in trouble. I could see you were worried in the morning what would happen next but nothing changes. You need to go fix your Dubai Visa by the way.”
He reminded me. Dubai, it was happening soon.
“Yes I will. When Khanyi gets back we will go do it!”
I told him. I didn’t even know where it’s done but I was too shy to say so.
“I put money in your account ok.”
“What is the money for?”
I asked him.
“You said that you wanted to buy things in Sandton so I added to what you had. It should be sufficient!”
“Thank you very much!”
I said trying to sound excited but at this point my brain was on Neo. Where was he?
“I have to go now! We will talk properly when I get back!”
He said and before I could even wish him a safe journey he hung up. I decided to call Neo. His phone rang and then he hung up. You know when it rings twice and person hangs up you can tell. I did that again and he hung up again. The panic I was feeling. I cleared all my phone records making sure I left only the safe numbers on my log. Sam never sent messages such as whatsapp or sms so I was safe there but I went to clear them anyway. You are not a good cheat if you don’t clear your messages. Most people get caught because of the things they leave on their phone.
“Hey dude is he back yet?”
Khanyi asked me.
“Nope his not hey and I can’t do anything. I can’t think straight and I am straight up panicking!”
“I was thinking that if you love him that much maybe Sam is not worth it!”
She said. Where was this coming from now? She was the one who had encouraged the Sam issue from day one.
“It’s not about Sam it’s about me. I need to control this situation before it backfires!”
I told her.
“Sam called saying we should fix our Visas. Maybe after we come back from Dubai I will get rid of Sam because I will have had my fun. No need to keep him around.”
She seemed to go quiet for a few seconds longer than usual before she responded,
“I second that!”
We chatted about a few other things before she said goodnight.
“Neo where are you?”
I said I out loud to myself. It’s a good thing my roommate was not there! I decided to make a bold move. I had keys to his place. I called and asked the driver to take me to Neo’s place. It was late already and whatever happens happens. When I got there I let myself in. His place was a mess as usual so to keep myself busy I cleaned his flat and put away everything where they should be. I mopped the floors, washed dishes etc. It was spotless by the time I was done. I don’t often clean up after him, not that he asks, so this would probably shock him. I then waited on the couch under a throw I had bought him once. I must have passed out because I think an hour after that my phone rang.
“What do you want Palesa?”
He asked me.
“I want you!”
I responded in a sleepy voice.
“I don’t mean it like that. Why were you calling? I told you I was out at a function.”
He said. I could hear he was driving meaning he was either on his way back to drop of her or was coming her.
“I know where you were and with who! Please let’s talk!”
I asked him.
“Well I don’t want to talk to you!”
He said. I heard the car stop and he came out and closed its door. He sounded as though he was alone.
“I want to talk to you. I don’t deserve it but I want to.”
I told him. I could hear his keys jingle as he walked towards the flat.
“I can’t deal with you right now! After I found out all that I was so disappointed!”
He said and he hung up on me! He opened the door and he found me standing there which startled him,
“Goodness you scared me!”
He said holding his chest!
“I am sorry!”
He left the door open.
“What the fuck are you doing here?”
He asked me angrily.
“I am not going anywhere unless we talk! Please hle! I am begging you!”
I asked him pleading. I was not cry at this stage because he always said tears are blackmail but my eyes were stinging already.
“I don’t want to talk to you. Please leave! Please!”
He asked me sternly but I stood my ground.
“Neo I love you. If you want to hit me for what I did then hit me but I am not going. I fucked up big time because I wanted money to take you on holiday because you have been so stressed. You can check my phone; I made reservations before you even confronted me, for us.”
I told him.
“So you are going to prostitute yourself for a holiday for us? Can you hear yourself? Do I mean that little to you that you would open your legs for another man and then you tell me it was all for you?”
He asked holding his head.
“Please close the door!”
I asked him.
“No! I want you to leave before I call the police!”
“Call them because I am not going anywhere. Nothing happened in Durban. I did not sleep with him. We even fought when I refused and he threw me out! That’s the truth!”
I told him.
“So what happened to Khanyi’s grandmother’s funeral? Was that a lie too? Did you make it up so you can go see your Sugar Daddy?”
You know when someone says sugar daddy like that it sounds so dirty. When you say blesser is sounds so much because blessed are the blessed right.
“The funeral is real. She is there even now. They are burying in the morning. I even came back with Yolanda the step mom because they threw her out from the funeral!”
I explained. I think I had said too many things at once that it confused him.
“You and your lies. It’s what brought us here. I might not have been rich but for you to do this to us, I can never forgive this. Please leave. I am tired and give me back my keys. You are not welcome here anymore!”
He said. That hurt. That cut deep and immediately I cried real tears.
“Baby I am so sorry! I am so sorry! I messed up big time!”
I said crying as though someone had died. I moved towards him with my arms up as if to hug me. When I got close he took one look at me and shoved me away sharply.
“Get the fuck away from me!”
He screamed but as he pushed me, my bottom foot in the walking motion slipped from underneath me and I slipped and fell hitting the corner table with my head, then there was blood,
Where ever I was in that blacked out state I knew I had won. He couldn’t dump me now without thinking I would not press charges for abuse.
I smiled inside me!
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)
It would be a crime if I didn’t start by compliment your good work, you really are a brilliant writer, keep up the good work man!
So here is my problem: I got my National diploma in mechanical engineering last year, but I can’t seem to get a job, a learnership or an internship of any kind. It makes no difference whether I meet the minimum requirements or not. I have sent countless emails, faxes, posts, hand deliveries and even tried doing a door to door hand out with no luck whatsoever, I have to this day never received a single call for an interview. I don’t know how many times I have changed the format of my CV and cover letter and downloaded template after template hoping that it would make a difference, but nothing.
So I sincerely ask you to post my letter, hoping that your readers might be able to help me. Guys a job or internship of any kind will do I am not picky. Anyone who is willing to help me may contact me on the following e-mail address: firstname.lastname@example.org
Thanks for taking the time to read my letter.