Blessed 17

Posted on Posted in Blessed are the Blessed

Every family feud, we know that, it’s not even a black thing because white people do it too. Often it’s about money

or some responsibility someone was supposed to do and did not do. The one constant however is that it’s about old people not young people. When a young person is fighting with elders it’s simply considered as rude no matter how you look at it. What Khanyi had said honestly was beyond reproach? I could not forgive her for saying such a thing. My mother for example had her ways but I would never speak to her like that. Le bona de step mothers are a problem. Why do they have to be young and beautiful nowadays? Don’t marry these older men just date them!

“Ladies we are not going to stop until we get there?”

Her father declared. What was he on about? Women need to pee on the road and to this effect we stopped at every second garage much to his annoyance. Men don’t understand that for women, when you have to go, well you have to go! There is no going around it.

“That’s not going to happen, we will never survive!”

His wife said coming to the rescue. He was probably doing this to punish Khanyi. Needless to say we stopped at every garage, that’s the power of a wife! He would moan about it but we did not care I guess. Khanyi had been sour the whole time. At the last garage I asked her,

“Why do you hate Yolanda so much?”

I thought she would probably snap back at me but she did not. She answered immediately meaning it was something close to her heart.

“The truth is that it’s not that I do not hate her. I feel like she is trying to take the place of my mother and this did not start when she was already dead but even before. When my mother was sick this woman was already there. I remember walking in on my mother fighting with my father saying that what he was doing with her was not right. My father promised my mother that he was not seeing yet barely a year later he married her! She was not even ashamed to move into the same house my mother had died and if I had not caused a scene they would have used the same bed my mother used to share with my father!”

She explained. Khanyi with her all her brains was one of those people that spoke about parties, moneys, cars and alcohol. All those fun things. Don’t be fooled once upon a time going to university meant you were mature and academically astute but nowadays with everyone passing, that standard has not been maintained. For her to therefore open up at a deeper level like this I won’t lie I was taken by surprise. It definitely was not the her I was used to.

“I didn’t know that and in a way I get your anger but for the sake of peace, you guys when you get home you must sit down and discuss it. She can never take your mothers place and you know it but much as your father might be an idiot don’t lose him too over her!”

I advised her. We were friends enough for me to be able to tell her that. She said it was ok she will behave.

When we got there I noted that all her cousins were already there. In Pretoria to be honest when there is a funeral most of your cousins rock up into two the day before or the day of the funeral. If your family is from in and around Pretoria some drop in on the bereaved family but it’s almost at a distance as no one wants to contribute. When the time for contribution comes there are always those that will find every excuse under the sun to give as little as possible.

“These are my cousins Nobuhle and Buhle, the twins! They attend at Zululand in Empangeni!”

Khanyi said as she introduced me to pretty girls who looked alike but not identical.

“Hey! Thanks for coming! We are tired there is so much work to do!”

Nobuhle said. Khanyi’s face went purple!

“I didn’t come here to work!”

She said defiantly.

They laughed.

“We just joking! We know how lazy you are. There are people here helping. They even hired a caterer for the cooking so we don’t have to do much. If you see my mum though run because she wants us to be doing something and not sitting around!”

She explained. Looking at them and Khanyi they really were different people. Where Khanyi had the shiny lip-gloss, weave and clothes that were a tad bit too tight, they were well manner, cultured and well dressed. They almost looked rural but they were not.

“We all grew up together, are the same age and some point even attended the same schools!”

Khanyi explained,

“Yeah that’s till you decided to Jhb and become a pastor!”

They said and the three of them laughed. Guess it was a family joke that’s why I didn’t get it.

“So you Khanyi’s friend that’s going to Dubai!”

Buhle asked me and there was an immediate,

“Dude chill!”

From the sister. Guess Khanyi had already spread the rumour.

“Yes I am.”

I said and Khanyi came in and said,

“I am going to!”

I told her.

“I wish I had a blesser! I joined that website and ah dololo, they just want you to send your picture so they can embarrass you!”

She said and we all laughed. This blesser obsession thing is not only a Jhb thing or a big city thing like they try make us believe. It’s everywhere!

“Where do you get blessers? The rich men in this area when they think overseas they think Deben!”

I spelt that Deben deliberately as opposed to Durban because that’s how she pronounced it. She was mocking their backwardness I guess. Everyone laughed.

“It is because whilst in Jhb they are giving free Wi-Fi and tablets in schools we have virginity testing to get bursaries!”

Somehow it was not funny but it made sense to laugh. This was one country with such opposing views of things.

“I don’t think I went looking for one though, Khanyi was there! He came to us I guess!”

I explained to them. I could not be shy now because the secret was out. Khanyi I will deal with later exposing my secrets like this.

“If I had anyone take me on a plane, not even to Dubai, I am sure they will name all the hair salons…”

Buhle said but Nobuhle cut in.

“… And the Spaza’s too sisi!”

“Yes those too after me! They will give me free hairdos for free as I will be the first in my community to go to Dubai!”

She said and much as we laughed at the joke it was weird how I was actually admired for having a sugardaddy, sorry, I mean blesser. Sugardaddy you are shamed for blesser you are a hero!

My phone rang and it was my mother. I stepped aside from them so I could pick it up. I had forgotten to tell her I had arrived safely.

“Where are you? I am at res I wanted to talk to you?”

My mother said.

“I told you I am going to KZN for a funeral. Remember I told you that Khanyi lost her grandmother!”

I reminded her.

“No you never told me! I was with you last night and you did not say it either!”

She said. I could hear by the tone of her voice that she was actually starting to get angry! Had I not told her though? Impossible!

“Mum, I told you this. On Monday when I got back to school I told you this!”

I tried again but she would hear none of it.

“We are not sending you to school to go gallivanting across South Africa. I want you back latest tomorrow morning or there will be consequences!”

She threatened. I was stunned. Ka nnete what was going on here?

“Mum I have no way of coming back from here! I am not doing anything wrong. I can take a video of everything even the funeral for you to see I am…”

I explained but she cut me off!

“Listen here! I told you, you at UJ to get a degree not to make friends. Ever since you and Khanyi got close you always up and down!”

She said. Where was all this coming from? This morning we were fine and now this?

“Ok mum you tell me how I am supposed to be back tomorrow morning? How do I do that?”

I asked her also starting to lose my temper. This was very unlike my mother!

“I don’t care! You come home tomorrow or I swear you will not be in residence anymore!”

She said and dropped the phone just like that.

“Is everything ok?”

Khanyi asked me when she saw the ghostlike expression I had on my face. I was totally blank with disbelief at this stage.

“No! My mother says I must come home tomorrow!”

I told her.

“But you have only just arrived!”

She said in disbelief!

“I know! She was in a bad mood yesterday but this morning we were cool. It’s weird because my mum never just shows up!”

‘Well I don’t know anyone who is going in that direction so you will have to catch a taxi there!”

She told me! I could not believe this was happened. Imagine, I had just arrived, how do I take my leave from this family. I now had to find a lie to tell her father.

“I am sorry friend!”

I told her. I had barely finished talking to her when my phone rang. It was Sam.

“Did you get there ok?”

He asked me. I told him about the trip but this new curveball my mother had just thrown in.

“You were wrong to go without her permission. Do you have you I.D with you?”

He asked me. I had not come with it.

“No I have my student card only!”

I told him.

‘Too bad, I was going to book you a flight from Richards Bay or something!”

He said with a concerned voice. I think Khanyi had said Richards Bay was about 200km from where we were I can’t remember now and for me that would not have made much of a difference as I still had to get there! I had to do the taxi thing but that thought.

No can do!

My mother will just have to be strong!

I texted her!

“Mum I am not coming tomorrow! My friend needs me! I told you and you said yes now you want to embarrass me!”

I texted. Stupid me!

There would be consequences indeed!

******The End*******

Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)

Dear Mike

Life has not always been fair to some of us. I come from a very poor family. My father died when I was 7 and according to my mother he worked in the mines. I am 17 now and I have two siblings. My mother did all she could to get money on the table including sleep with men for money. I am not ashamed of her. There were tough times. Everyone says get a job but they don’t tell you where to get these jobs. Last year she died. She was hit by a taxi of all things. I am in matric. I work hard, study all the time but my grades were not improving until I decided to do what my mother did. I slept with some man from Fourways (I am from Diepsloot) and he gave me money. He is not married but has kids older than me. I used that money to pay for extra lessons and the results are actually showing. With me I can’t afford to pass matric without distinctions if I am going to get a bursary. With the same money I have been getting from sleeping with this man I have managed to feed my little sisters now and make sure things are moving. I never stay out late so he picks me from school and we do our thing, I go home. My sister the one who is 15 is the problem. Now she is running around with a local gangster. The other day he slept over in her room. I had to ask the community to chase him away. They told him they will beat him up if they ever see him around her again. He seems to have listened but who am I to judge when I am sleeping with someone for money to feed them. I am a child myself and I want to be a child and enjoy life like other people my age. I have a new problem now where the man I have been sleeping with now wants us to not use condoms. We got tested together and we both negative but I am not sure I am ready for that. I can’t stop being with him because people can say what they want about grants spoiling people but it’s not enough. The money is so little it doesn’t even cover rent alone. I need his money for the extra lessons and for my sisters. I am trapped and I am depressed all the time. My only happy point is my grades which are way better but the price I have to pay to achieve them. I wish God can tell me why my family was created to suffer like this. It’s not fair and it’s hard. Sometimes I cry myself to sleep just so I don’t have to think about all this.

I just wanted to share my story.

Thank You


27 thoughts on “Blessed 17

  1. Thanks Mike.

    17 sweetheart I feel your pain. I really do understand how you’re feeling. In my high school days I used to wash people’s laundry to get money to travel to school. I slept wih my principal and in exchange SHE wrote off my school fees. I have never felt so dirty. I’m not lesbian but I needed my matric.

    All I’m saying is, hang in there baby keep your focus on your good grades and keep improving them. Before you know it you’ll be done with all this and in varsity working to achieve your dreams.

    As for the no condom part, this man is taking advantage of you because well he butters your bread. I will advise you to get a mirena, it is an IUD. It is a form of contraception that is 99.99%effective. You insert it once and it stays for 3, 5, or 10 years. You choose. You can have it removed whenever you want. Except for loss of appetite I have not experienced any side effects. It is free in state hospitals. If you want to go to private hospitals you will spend roughly R3000. your little sister should contracept as well. The last thing you need is a baby to feed.

    If you wanna talk further please email me and we will see what we can do. I’m far from rich but I will help where I can. I’ll ask Mike to give you my contacts

  2. Thanks Mikeesto awesome one buddy.

    17. I’m gobsmacked with this letter, ithwani into xa inje? Qina mntasekhaya, I shall lend a prayer for you and your family.


  3. Thanks for the morning dose .

    Seventeen, The story you shared it’s very disturbing, m not judging your mother or you, ok, think of it this way, your mother slept with men for money, you are doing the same thing and your sisters? its only a matter of time before they do the same if not already started, especially the 15 year old. You need to take the initiative to break that circle coz it doesn’t hold a future for you and your sisters. 1.The man you sleeping with will make you pregnant, 2.You will be infected with STDs worse HIV and those good grades won’t help you if you fall pregnant or get sick.
    I suggest you go to Social Workers and explain the challenges you are faced with since you are orphans, i believe Government give social grant to orphans. You and your sisters need counselling to come to terms with loosing both parents at such tender age. and your sister is doing what she’s doing because of anger and frustration, with counselling she could be ok again

    Go to your nearest clinic and ask for a social worker, I believe something good will come out of this, Wishing you all the best coz you deserve better.

      1. @Nonks K there is orphans Grant which is roughly more than 600 rands per head. with that money they can afford food and toiletries. i am an orhan myself and that money helped me go to school. my aunt was saving 250 for me every month and it helped pay for rent in Loction. but to get that they obviously need a guardian.

        1. I wonder why there is no mention of any extended family… I know about that grant @Pearl. I used to get it for my niece after my mom who was her forester parent also passed on. Maybe it will help because there’s 3 of them, it might even cover her extra lessons. This is just so sad because this lil girl seems to have so much ambition.

  4. Eish 17 🙁 I am having the worst days today…Cant seem to catch a break – Haibo.

    I am far from rich myself, I hustle…. You can ask Mike for my email and get intouch with me. I will hook you up with alady who works at Love Life. She helped me alot when I lost my mother.

    Yah nhe…Life

  5. yhoo Jesus may you come through for our 17year old sister who is going through a lot right now. send someone her way to help her without asking for anything in return. our help comes from you Lord and you are faithful. in the name of Jesus Amen

  6. Hey seventeen

    I feel for you, so young yet you have gone through so much.

    You say your mom was hit by a taxi, did you claim at road accident find; because you do qualify. The process might ne long and exhausted but that money can help you and you siblings. There RAF offices are at Jeppe Street in Joburg. Please go inquiry there.

  7. This is so sad at such a young age having to deal with such hardship. You are supposed to be having the time of your life njengabanye abantwana who are your age but here you are sthandwa sam being robbed of your childhood. I am praying for you my baby,I am praying that God intervenes. Ndicela uzame noba kufuna a job as a waitress or packer or whatever for weekends and after school just so you can get rid of this man and be able to provide.

  8. Praying for these kids is the same as doing nothing.. those offering advise and telling her where to go plus giving her money that’s something…

  9. Tjoooo bethuna kuthwa xa kuthethwa u always have a choice, but xa ndifunda todays letter, what other choice does she have? Hayi kunzima kwisizwe esimnyama, and by the look of things lenzima isaya kude.

    I am near tears yile letter, coz this is our child

    Uske ungayazi ukuba unganceda njani phi ndawuni coz nawe u struggling to keep your head and that of your kids above the water. But this is one of the xtreme cases zenzima, worse abatata abakho clean tu, maybe ufunu infector lomntana, bethuna!


  10. Seventeen, go to this Facebook page : Ndicel’ uncedo iyanditya natsinto bakhaya They will help you there, I promise you.

  11. Hi Mike cant we perhaps open an account for this young girl and donate money so that she can atleast pay for her extra lessons. This is so hearth breaking…

  12. Mike can someone please help her claim RAF for her mother’s death she clearly qualifies hle u know people cant anyone help her Mike?

  13. But don’t you guys think anyone could come up with a heartbreaking story to get guap/ have an account opened for them to get donations? I’m not saying this letter is fake, but it can happen. There are many fraudsters out there. We need to come up with a solution to make sure these stories are legit.

  14. Seventeen

    I suggest you apply for Road Accident Fund for your mom’s death. But you can only apply within 36 months. It takes time to get compensated, but you can get a lot of money, especially if the person os deceased. I grew up on the orphanage grant and i know its not enough. Since you are in Joburg, you can go to the RAF offices in Jeppe street. I’not sure about the exact address though

  15. This is such a sad story. Mike please send details of Seventeen, or open an account so we can help somehow. She wants out but is trapped, surely that is enough for us to sympathise with her.

  16. Seventeen I don’t know your pain as, I am not going to lie. But when I read your story I felt like there is a huge lump in my heart. I cannot imagine what you go through every day. Please go to your nearest social workers and ask for help. I agree with Malika Mike please open an account where we can help apho sikwazi khona. What I like though about you 17 is that you are focused, keep it in your mind that education is important. I will pray for you and your sister. If you want to talk you can also ask my email from Mike and we will communicate. Pray for yourself and your sister only God will show you the way. Isixhosa sithi kubamnyama phambi kokuba kukhanye sisi.

  17. This is heart-breaking 17. Mike please get in touch with me on my email. Lets see what we can do about the extra lessons for her.

  18. I keep coming back here to read this letter and comments. Umoya wam awuphumule ngalomntwana. Mike le suggestion yokuthi kube ne account sifake isandla bakithi for her extra lessons please do something about it. Nayi ndoda endala ifuna ukuqeda iksasa lengane izomzalisa imfakele izifo mese ishaya ikhona.

  19. I’m so disturbed, waitse but why should our kids suffer like this mara he! dear seventeen please contact Ehlers Attorneys their in Pretoria. The are very good in handling RAF the number is 012 643 1652. I work for an Psychologist who assist most of their clients, hope this will help.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *