Young Employed and Single

Y.E.S 19

“What is it that makes girls believe that if the man they are dating makes them pregnant he will marry them? Do they live under a rock though when you see how many girls are left stranded, their sisters, neighbours and friends included but oh no, it’s fine, don’t use a condom! He is my man I trust him!” Mike Maphoto


People never fully appreciate how difficult it is to hook up someone else. I have been on all sorts of blind dates or hook ups with Miriam to know that for some reason, for me it never ends well. She knows this too which is why I thought she had stopped hooking me up. When someone else has to help you get a man it’s like an old person needing help to cross the road! It’s cool for the person doing the hook up as they feel responsible for you and what happens, humbling and leaves the person getting hooked up grateful but ultimately a tad bit undignified! Are you so ugly you can’t do it yourself? Really? I know some people have that thing of saying ‘I thought your personalities matched so well’ but cut the bullshit ok, what they are trying to say is that you really are that pathetic you can’t do it yourself! That’s exactly the message I was saying to Rudzani because she was pathetic. She spent so much time pining for a man who did not even want to see her! I was doing her a favour with this Mr. Mckay but let’s hope he doesn’t turn out to be a doosh! Maybe I should get myself a white guy, I could totally survive having a braai and rugby every weekend but the thought of no longer watching Skeem Sam, Uzalo, Isibaya you name it always holds me back. 90% Local does not mean 90% South African but 90% vernacular so there will be no English in that house. How will that work then? No thanks. I prefer men who still believed that if you planted a tree in Thohoyandou your dick would grow strong, hard and tall even if you lived as far as Cape Town. That thought just made me horny. I had not been laid in a long time and Sfiso was out of bounds.

“I can’t believe you totally set her up!”

Why do white people always say ‘totally’?

“What do you mean Nicolene? She is a big girl and a professional! His company can give us business so we can work with that!”

I told her.

“Nope, I am not dumb! I know a set up when I see it. Why could you not close the deal yourself since you are more senior?”

The annoying little brat asked me. It’s not that I did not like her but Susanna had introduced her in such a manner which had made me not want her.

“At times you delegate. I have not seen you liaising with other companies as well and you need to learn that unless you want to be stuck in the labs like a mouse for the rest of your career!”

I had confused her. I was actually teaching her. When you work for a good company you are happy to market them and their products where ever you go. This is why we were here! To put our best foot forward and that was another reason why I was not sure why she was here. She did not have the experience.

“That company over there…”

I pointed to a group of people sitting a few tables away from us,

“They were in the middle of the Ebola crisis, they are the ones who did the samples etc. They got paid a lot of money by the UN. Why didn’t we get that contract? That’s something we need to make sure never happens because we do exactly what they do!”

I told her. See, I was still professional even under pressure, teaching her what to do.

“Must we go introduce ourselves?”

She asked me excited. Calm down little grasshopper I said to myself.

“No, everyone else is falling all over them so we need to wait. It’s not like they can give us any of their money. We need to have something they want, that’s when we approach.”

In every industry there is competition and I know bio chemistry might sound boring to many but to us it was a war. We fought for every cent we made. I was not done with her when Rudzani came back. She did not seem pleased at all.

“I do not appreciate what you did back there!”

Rudzani said angrily when we got back.

“I don’t understand what you mean?”

I told her.

“I have a boyfriend I love very much and setting me up like that was not right. You need to respect my boyfriend please!”

She said, almost with tears in her eyes.

“Setting you up? He is a potential client for our lab and I was failing to close the deal meaning I was giving you a chance to try!”

I lied. She looked confused for a second then said,

“Oh, why didn’t you just tell me though?”

She asked me.

“How? In front of the potential client? Let’s see how it would have gone, ‘Rudzani, I am failing to close him, please do you thing and get us his money’. Is that what you wanted?”

I asked her. She gave me her doe eyed stupid look then said,

“Ok I didn’t know. He started asking me for my numbers and if I am married?”

She said.

“What did you tell him?”

I asked her. She looked down a bit embarrassed and said,

“I told him I am engaged and don’t date white people!”

I could not help but burst out laughing. It’s something she would have said that’s why I knew he was in for a rude awakening. How do women do it though? Your man lives so far away, doing God knows what but you will pledge your faithfulness to him, come what may! I have always been fascinated by that because I know men cheat! Even if you live together and he goes away for a weekend, if he gets a chance he will do so! With us women, we can wait for him to go work in the mines for six months and he will find our garden pruned and ready for him and only him. I don’t know if God did us a favour in this respect because working in the labs we see so many STI’s samples from these rural women who wait for their husbands to come back for them. They won’t even know what hit them Shem.

“You didn’t go to work today?”

I asked her as I saw she was still in her pajamas!

“No! I was in mourning. I think they should give women special leave days to fix relationships because we are always being cheated on! It’s very difficult to go to work when you are having marital problems and I don’t think these people take it seriously.”

She said and I laughed.

“What will they call that day?”

“I am serious though Lungi! Imagine I am a female police officer and I carry a gun. My husband is cheating and I find out, how rational do you think I will be on the job worse, carrying a weapon?”

Ok she was serious and she had a point. There are those that say that a woman’s greatest strength are her emotions as it gives her a tremendous capacity to love and well, I am not too sure now after what my sister had just said.

“But imagine them giving anyone going through heartbreak though, there will be no women left in the offices!”

We both laughed but truth is it was not funny. Here I was seeking for a husband knowing truly well that the consequences of getting and having one usually involve a lot of crying and betrayal. South African men though, I clap once…no twice!

“Did your husband call?”

I asked her.

“Yes he did. He apologized and said it won’t happen again. He bought me jewellery even!”

She said. It’s funny how media influences us. I am a girl and I don’t understand what jewellery means and should do to me. Shoes I understand, hair, clothes even I understand but an expensive neck piece won’t get me excited because most of the other black women who see you in it will assume its fake anyway or you bought it from Forever New!

“And you forgave him after that?”

I asked her!

“Hell no! He needs to learn that I am not that easy and I told him that I am going cheat to so we can be even. I have never told him that before!”

She said satisfied with herself. Uhm ok,

“And he said!”

“He went ballistic! He told me I had no respect for him if I can tell him that to his face and what not!”

She explained,

“And then?”

I asked very curious to see where this went!

“Did you think I was going to allow him to cheat on me then still tell me what to do? Nope! I hung up the phone and switched it off!”

She said changing the channel.

“Oh shit I almost missed this!”

She said as her show started. I looked to see what it was she was watching and surprise, surprise, she was watching, ‘How to get away with murder!’

“Don’t get any funny ideas?”

I told her sarcastically but she got it immediately.

“If I wanted to kill him considering I cook every day for his ungrateful ass I would have done it a long time ago!”

She said and we laughed. Men simply don’t get how vulnerable they are do they?

“Anyway enough about me! What are your plans for tonight?”

She asked me! I knew she was going to laugh at me if I mentioned Sfiso so I lied.

“We had a conference today so am going out with colleagues with a company we are trying to get business from!”

I told her. She bought it. I didn’t want her questioning why I was yoyo-ing on Sfiso. I was rather embarrassed of myself to be honest. Maybe I should just stand the idiot up! Yeah that would be awesome!

Who am I kidding?

Two hours later I was arriving at Protea Wanderers, in my cherry red dress, and yes, my sexiest lingerie underneath! It was a wrap around, with a silk overlay meaning that when I walk it shimmered with the lighting as well rippled over every contour on my body!

I was dressed to destroy and even my sister said before I left,

“Is this still just dinner?”

Was it?

He was waiting at reception but so were air hostesses and I think pilots!

So this is where they stayed…mmm!

Someone whistled as I walked past and I know it’s often considered rude but you know what, when you look and feel good, who gives a fuck!

All eyes were on me but most importantly, I knew he had to be drooling!

******The End*****

Michael Nkululeko Maphoto

Dear Friends

We are going to be hosting an every week day blog named “Birds of the Feather” which will post every day at 3pm in the afternoon. It will be a five week blog. It’s written by Keletso Mopai and her biography will appear on it.

Realities has ended so what’s next. This week 23rd May to 27 May I will only be posting YES which will be Mon Wed and Friday on my side (Mike). However next week Monday I will introduce my new blog BLESSED ARE THE BLESSED will replace Realities. The only religion to be discussed in this blog will be the love of money, what it can buy you and how it can destroy you. I hope this is clear but feel free to ask any questions.

Thank You

Mike Maphoto

Firstly i would like to thank you Mike for this opportunity.

I’m a born again Christian, 25 and no child. I love Jesus with all my heart. I don’t usually date, I can go a year without anyone in my life and I’m content with that. However when I do meet someone they will have ALL the qualities I need for my Boaz/Adam but will be far away from being an Ephesians5 or Job31 men.

For instance I met this great guy last year April… We are dating now, I believe he loves me but I’m worried about the sex part. We’ve done it once but we almost broke up because it left me feeling so dirty and guilty. I’m afraid I’m gonna lose him because no matter how much he says he doesn’t want me to commit sin yet when we are together things do get heated up…
I’m scared I’m gonna lose him and be the odd duckling again among my friends. This question is mostly for my favs Child of God especially… And Redeemed. (I’m sorry Jackzozo… Lol you my fav too but your comment will definitely ruin me. Lol “Bad company corrupts good character.”)
How is it that some of my friends can do all things with their bf’s yet we all claim to be born again… Washed by the precious blood of Christ. Don’t they feel guilty or dirty? I once asked one of my friend, she said i should just read Romans 8:1 and pray over it. “There is no condemnation for those that are in Christ.” Should I continue dating this guy and sin in the process? Or should I just end it and be content with what God calls me to do?


42 thoughts on “Y.E.S 19

  1. Q&A
    If you feel you are not up to having sex at the present moment then u should avoid being alone with the guy in a secluded place rather meet in public places always.
    My question to you though is if the guy marries you will you be free to have sex with him without feeling dirty?

  2. Holier than though,thou shall not judge how can u call some1 bad,my dear u just like that mamprofet kaThandaza on Muvhango u such a pretender how can u judge Jackzoro he has good advice or u just hate him for calling a spade a spade,he is realistic shame ubezokusiza ngathi nje wena uphila emhlabeni wakho uyi1 ,if u thought it’s a sin y didn’t u keep yourself pure until the wedding night,u are that kind who aborts jus so u won’t have a child out of wedlock,the Bible says thinking is the same as doing.if yo bf is OK with it then good for u hope and pray he isn’t getting it somewhere,if I was the boyfriend I’ll leave now u are that kind of a married woman who denies their husbands sex bcoz the pastor has to approve

    1. where is all the shade coming from? i honestly do not understand where your comment is coming from, she has her reasons for asking those specific people, the shade is not neccessary

  3. I’m offended on Jack’s behalf. He is not bad company but a straight shooter who makes us face reality. Wena Will of God remember you can’t be a fence sitter and pray in the one hand and sin on the other. You mustn’t measure other people’s courtship on your own. Don’t succumb to peer pressure and date a guy who will lead you astray just because you don’t want to be the odd one in your squad. Also Boaz/Adam wasn’t perfect so don’t base your ideal partner off a blueprint. Keep praying and ask your elders for advice and guidance. If you are born again then you won’t tolerate fornication regardless of the people’s justifications. Thanks Mike I used to be a Rudzani and chased after a guy who wouldn’t want to commit and I blocked so many suitors just because I have someone imperfect as he was. I thought maintaining love had to be a struggle.I’m glad my husband met me and changed my life so I’m disappointed there is no interracial storyline. I’m teaching him vernacular and he can greet in Venda and by the time we have kids he will be fluent as I am also learning his German so yes ladies go where you are worshipped not where you have to chase. Yoh I said a mouthful but happy on a Monday morning for Y.E.S.

  4. QnA
    I think you are not ready to date,nor have sex,it’s not wrong to just wait until you are ready,there is nothing I hate like a girl who doesn’t know what she wants or she is in between,this are girls who will visit a guy in his room thinking that they are going to pray,and they knew very well that they want to be laid or there is a possibility of being laid,but they didn’t bring condoms bcs they are holy or they are going to pray with a sexy lingerie inside,if you can look at other ppl’s life like why are they doing it,you won’t have peace in your heart,if you are not a Virgin you can’t be kissing a guy and hope the Holy Spirit protects you from sinning,Ae Ausi be realistic with your self

  5. Thanks Mikeesto Awesome start to tho week…. YES err’day baby.

    I’m going for the Flash on this one. Do you know how much admin you put me through…. Trying to Google these bible nton nton’s that you quoted to understand what in the heavens you meant…. Hayi sisi its Monday tshini!!

    Anyway my comment is going to be short and sweet, short maybe the size or the time, sweet maybe the result or the sweat. Nam I’m giving riddles ke so read between the lines LOL!!

    If your man was hitting it right then this letter would’ve never been sent to the blog. So herein lies the problem, you are having sex and it’s not quality sex so it makes you regret and be all born again. I don’t know the concept of being born again, but should it not entail no sex? Is the sex that bad that you willing to dirt yourself with disgust and pity? and why is this born again status used so cheaply?

    I honestly didn’t know born-again’s were getting their freak on and going half on a baby while quoting supposedly holy scriptures….. Here’s a quote from Jackzorro chapter 9 verse 12 ” God invented sex, not a scientist, how dare you defy God’s will and invention by refusing such a remarkable revolution” 


    1. LOL Jack

      I always tell my friends who complain about their men wanting sex that they’re not hitting the right places haha

    2. Hahahaha….Jackzorro…you are the best…took the shade and made it your shine…

      So true…people use this “Born Again” term too loosely.I am a believer of God but hayi maan…I am a sinner too trying to work with God to make me better…he ain’t finished with me yet and will never act Holy….Even the Adam and Boaz dudes in the Bible had flaws…I struggle to understand why today’s Christian peeps think these people were the definite of perfection and try and fail to be those…just be yourself my people….please.

      You having sex but feel bad…then turn around and want to question how someone else is doing the same act and feels no guilt….confusing Born Again concept….

      Just stay away from sex and dating until you ready to deal with what comes with it….I feel sorry for the guy busy pretending to you to keep you happy…both of you need to just be real with each other….

      My mouthful ?

  6. QnA
    I never comment but I realized I couldn’t just walk away after reading this. No.1 sitting there and wondering if your friends feel guilty or not won’t bring you any step closer to God. The Bible says work out your OWN salvation. This means what I do is up to me and my salvation. Remember out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. When you agreed to have sex, you either said yes or just went for it. This means you did what your heart desired at that time. The moment you feel guilty about it then you should to stop and leave abanye abantu. No.2 You asking if you should leave or stay and sin in the process. That my dear is totally up to you. Problem is you already made up your mind that your friends are sinning and wena you don’t want that, so why make things difficult for yourself? I am a born again Christian and I am washed by Thee precious blood of Jesus HOWEVER what I do is between my Jesus and I. I suggest you stop labeling others as sinners and focus on controlling yourself. if you think the guy will leave you because you don’t wana have sex with him, then clearly in your mind you have given him the F-Boy tag. You have Judged him already.. The bible also says Thou shall Not Judge. I say wait until you get a guy who will propose marriage the first time he sees you, then maybe you will feel cleaner and purer.

  7. Oh cnt wait for lungi’s date… Thank you mike. You always manage to heal my wounds,make me smile and feeling good to face the day. Waiting for the new one.. Blessed

  8. Haha Thabanjalo. Jackzorro is trying to remain relevant. Telling us about revolutions and getting us closer to our sin ???. Jokes!

  9. Yoh! I have a feeling Sfiso came with his wife. Q&A. I’ve noticed how so many so called born agains love to judge other people, Sex is the most amazing thing that God created for us human beings to indulge in and to be honest religion confuses me a lot but I do believe in God just like I believe there’s evil. So to be honest with u, if ur not giving ur man ur nanana then he’s getting it else where and the moment he finds a girl who rides him till kingdom come and he starts to speak in tongues and recite
    Shakespeare in vernac u will be writing another letter to mike for advice on how to keep a man. Well, doesn’t the bible say if u have sinned pray and God will forgive? Well then my dear there is ur answer, have sex den pray for forgiveness and trust me after u know what to ‘come’ is then u will surely understand why ur friends have sex n still call themselves born again. Lol anywho sex is fun and exercise at the same time and the key to happiness lol haven’t u seen how people who have been satisfied are happy after sex? Well excluding those grumpy one’s who either their man do the 3 minute noodles or the women just lie there like a chicken dust

  10. All i know is that religion is complicated, there is no right or wrong person. how i undestand all this is, for as long as you dont inflict pain on others (in what ever you do), then you are on the path.

  11. Well Q&A,

    You and ONLY you will be accountable for your actions, not your friends

    If you believe fornication is a sin, you can’t let your friends’ actions and interpretation of the bible be the guide to whether you should live a certain way or not (to sin or not to sin). The bible should be your guideline

  12. Thank you Bhut Mike….will be patiently waiting for 3pm 🙂 super excited 🙂

    Hahahahahaha Jack and Impondokazi done said it all day made….

    Why is it that borna gain christians are the most judgemental?? Does it not say in the bible tha’y shall not judge or did they miss that part??


  13. Not to sound judgmental but if you love Jesus like you claim you do, shouldn’t you at least obey Him/His Word?

  14. Are you sure you are born again?? Im not judging,why are you even dating in the first place. im sure you can pray about your confusion and your answer shall come

  15. I think most people we need a revelation on judging me included. Almost every comment is saying isn’t the bible teaching us not to judge at the same time judge the poor girl.

    I think you are still new in this walk with GOD and its OK for you to make mistake. GOD knew exactly what he was getting when he got you. He is not surprise with your actions, he kind expected them. You just need to grow in your walk with GOD and ask him for guidance. Talk to a consoler at your church or someone you can trust who is spiritual mature in their walk for advice.

    (judging cap) you should not compare yourself with others you don’t know why they do what they do. Run your own race and fix your eyes on your own price. They will not be there when you face your judgment alone they will be facing their own.

    The bible state that sex before marriage is a sin and it will not change. No matter what society may say about this subject it still remains. Is it something that can be achievable? It is really up to a person to decide that. Some people have managed to keep themselves pure until they got married

    As Christians we should stop putting tags on sins. A sin is a sin there is no Big or Small sin. If you lie and kill is the same thing you have committed a sin. If you ask GOD to forgive you he will forgive you for your sin. We should understand that we serve a loving father who does not have a wip every time you do something wrong. Just repent and ask him to forgive you. If you feel that bad stop having sex until you do what you know is right. And good luck!!!

  16. So from observation the girl is a baby Christian, probably recently got saved and has not yet grasped the concept of salvation. But what I’m not okay with right now is a. How you are all crucifying this kid for her “judgement” and the “not getting hit right” which you are probably right about. But now you grown ass individuals are out here judging this child yourselves and are worshipping a Jackzarro who also doesn’t have this life thing figured out. You all threw shade on a kid who clearly needed guidance

    1. True Annoyed all she needed was advise and not to be judged. Thank you for your comment I totally agree on your first one and second comment… wishing you a wonderful day further enjoy mwah.

    2. couldn’t agree with you more, they should have kept quiet and left it to those who are Christians to answer .. the shade is completely unneccessary

  17. Mike please remind us what this platform is for and most of all please tell your readers to then specify the terms and conditions of requesting advice. It seems our perfect individuals here have rules and regulations for this platform.
    Clearly Christians should not be on the list.

  18. Hi Mike, thank you for the continued riveting and thought-provoking stories.
    @TheWillOfGod-VS-TheFlesh, I am a born-again Christian lady who has made mistakes and is still growing in my relationship with God. I was that girl who at varsity would be quiet when my friends would be talking about their sex lives for as much as I dated, I never let it get that far. I’m ashamed to honestly say I succumbed after my last year at varsity to the justification that everyone else in the church was doing it. I got a revelation a couple of years back when I decided to stop having sex and doing things/ being around people that stalls or reverse my relationship with God. I saw that as much as I went to church every week, what will I say to God on judgement day? I def can’t use my friends or circumstances or peer pressure as an excuse because I am freely given a sound mind by Jesus.

    I will advise you to listen to Phil Wikham’s Heart of Worship. Ask yourself what is more important, your friendships and fitting-in or your salvation. Yes, you have had sex, but the Holy spirit who is here to guide, comfort and teach us is letting you know it’s not the time yet as you’re not married. Sex before marriage is wrong, period. Orgasms, “hitting it right” have nothing to do with your question I believe. Pray for God to ready you for a true Ephesians 5/Job 31 man, as close to Proverbs 31 woman you can be..

    And no, I know you were not throwing shade at anyone, I believe those who think that should just catch it 😉

  19. Thanks for a wonderful read….I don’t like to comment but today I feel the need to @Q&A the bible says in God’s eyes we are all sinners whether you spoke a lie or you killed a person to God it’s one & the same thing

    Please help yourself with this don’t judge the next person for God that is a sin, if something you do suits you let it be for its yours to fulfil don’t choose scriptures that suits you read the bible from genesis to revelations then you’ll understand the meaning of born again & why God sends his beloved Son to die for our sins as for you being confused don’t use the word of God or his disciples for your unholy activities just pray for guidance & leave your boyfriend cos you not sure what you want until you know what you want in your life

    Jackzorro you are my hero love your comments always they are on point

    Good luck.

  20. The problem sometimes is that you people judge too much. Some of these letters are directed to specific people e.g Christians in this specific case. So if you are not christian please rather refrain from commenting. Although I do not condone the way she addressed Jackzorro and as much as I like his comments sometimes I kind of understand why she would not really like advise from him.

    Now that this is done, regardless of what the girl has done wrong people should correct and not condemn them. People must understand that there are various other denominations under Christianity therefore do not address us under one umbrella. What we are taught at churches as Christians is not the same. Just like Xhosa’s are always complaining about being stereotyped please do not stereotype Christians as well.

    Little girl you know where your heart lies and it is with God, if you believe in your heart of hearts that you should not fornicate do not do it. Give this relationship a chance but do not loose yourself and your beliefs while in it. Rather pray for a man that will be more understanding and will wait with you. Your friends relationship with God is none of your business let them do what they do and do what God has placed in your heart. How you will handle sex later when you are married is another case

  21. QnA
    First of all my dear stop wondering how your friends do sex and not feel guilty about, remember this is a personal race. Be glad that your conscience is still very much alive becausr you don’t want to reach a stage of apostasy. Forgive yourself and pray to God forgiveness and work out your salvation. Do not compromise your faith to keep a boyfriend or to belong to the society because remember we are not of this world so don’t comform to thee standards.

    Ignore those who seem to think you are regretting because the sex was not good cos they don’t understand Christianity. I got born again after I had experienced sex and know how great it is but that does not mean my conscience goes silent when I commit sin.

    It is always easier to remain single to keep your purity. The only relationship you should ne concerned about right now is one with Jesus. Mat 6:6 says seek ye the Kingdom of God and everything shall be added unto you. At the right time God will bless you with a partner who will draw you close to Hod than one who will drag you away from your Kingdom assignment.

    #keep the faith
    #do not compromise
    # remember that no one know the day nor the hour.

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