“As long as a man knows that whatever he can do, you can do better, he will follow you around like a lapdog. Men cheat because more often than not you will curl up like a millipede in the corner and cry but do nothing about it. At most you will dump him but then what? If a man knows that two can play that game he is even scared of his own shadow because that ego of his can’t handle knowing that there is a replacement waiting round the corner if he fucks up!” Mike Maphoto
You know when you like a guy there is not a damn thing you won’t do for them. It’s crazy. The most sensible girls you know will lose themselves to please guys who are often beneath them. I had pride and in my life I had never pushed a car not once and I know I am not the only one who is in the boat. Women are not designed to push cars but Sfiso needed help so I was going to give it. Besides with no phones there was no other way of getting home. So there I was pushing a car in my neighbourhood. It must have been a funny sight and if only my haters could see me now!
“It’s fucken heavy!”
I shouted out to him as I made one hell of an effort. It was helping that I was wearing bedroom slippers which made the road slippery. The damn thing just would not budge.
“Are you sure you put down the handbrake!”
I shouted from behind the car as I was running out of breath but I could see him. He turned back to look at me like I was making a joke and he said that he did.
“Goodness what a question though? Of course it’s down. I will help you push and when we have momentum I will jump in the car and try it ok!”
He said coming out of the car. Why had he not thought of that though in the first place! Come on dude!
“Why didn’t you do that in first place though dude?”
I asked him rather annoyed. I noticed that he was a bit worried now because he was not making as many jokes as before. No car came down the road at this stage which was both good and bad. Bad in that it meant no help but let’s be honest, it’s hard to stop at night to help anyone in Jhb because next thing they are robbing you or worse. Good in that any car could be criminals so you just never know. If I had one wish for this country is that the crime was less.
“Ok I am going to push with you and when the car gains momentum I am going to jump in ok!”
He told me already out of the car. His shoes had better grip than mine fortunately. The car moved this time around with the both of us pushing. I am not even sure if I was putting in effort more but it was working. He can take all the credit. Eventually we had the right momentum and he jumped in as he had said. I did not stop pushing.
I shouted from the back again out of breath. I was not in shape hey, wow! Just that small push and I could not even breathe. Time to take this whole gym thing seriously.
He shouted back and he started the car! Thank the heavens that it started immediately, on the first start otherwise my energy was more than just gone. He drove off a small distance and then turned back for me.
“I suggest we go park in your parking lot now because no more taking chances! I wish I could sue this rental agency!”
He said to me! I was just relieved.
“Why don’t you just take the car back and they give you a new one? You are suffering for no reason at all!”
I was still a bit sour bout all this that had happened.
“I am sorry about that. It was not the ideal perfect outing hey but goodness you are strong!”
He said teasing me. He was trying to cheer me up. I had to direct him back to my place as I said Lonehill is a maze.
“A woman who will push a car with you is a keeper hey!”
He said and this time I cracked and I laughed.
“With all these stuck up girls out there, in their weaves and manicures do you really think many would do what you did tonight?”
He asked me. I was not sure whether he was serious or not, mocking me or not but he made me feel funny in a good way though.
“I suppose they would!”
“Nah don’t fool yourself, equal rights don’t include pushing the car!”
He said and we laughed again. How does he come up with these things though? We got to my place and into my parking and then he said,
“I would rather not switch off the car for now!”
He said and I totally agreed with even though this time we would be able to get help from the security people.
“I second that!”
“I am sorry about this though. Let’s change topics and talk about something more pleasant.”
He said sitting back to get comfortable. He made his car seat lie down a bit as if to show he was not going anywhere anytime soon. I had work tomorrow but for this man I can be late any day.
“What would you like to talk about? I am a pretty boring person you know!”
I told him smiling.
“I strongly doubt that otherwise I would not be here!”
He said. Here comes the charm again! This man was a heaven sent.
“Tell me about your family. It’s none of my business but I saw that your sister was crying when I got to your place, did you say something mean to her?”
He teased but I could tell he was serious. A man who is willing to listen to a woman… ‘Dear Lord Thank You for the blessings I was about to receive’ I prayed silently inside my heart literally doing summersaults inside my chest. I was in the right place at the right time.
“My family. My sister is having problems with her husband and my mother is a hypochondriac!”
I told him.
“Hypochondriac? As in someone who always believes they are sick?”
He asked me! There was some intelligence in there somewhere. Most people would start accusing you of throwing around big words when the fault is theirs that they never bothered to read a book.
“Yes. My mother is a lot of work. A month ago she convinced us that she had tumour in her head because she was having headaches. She self diagnised herself and made us believe the doctor had said so. I took her for tests, expensive ones too and she was perfectly fine! About three months ago she said she had meningitis when she had a simple flu which we treated with Flutex and now just a few days ago she came and called saying she had cancer!”
I told him.
“Why does she do that though? One day she will be really sick and tell you but you guys won’t go aid her because of it! You need to talk to her about this!”
“Simple! She does it because she just loves the attention we give her when we are worried running around like headless chickens.”
I told him but I was lying. I knew why she did it but I could not tell a guy on the first date that my mother is so obsessed about me getting married and getting kids she would try trick me into believing she would die soon without seeing her grandchildren to force my hand. Any sane guy would run away after that date. It’s like saying I love you on the first date! Hell no!
“Oh she sounds like lots of work. As for your sister, marriage is hard. It’s not easy to just divorce when infidelity comes in …”
He started to explain but I cut him off.
“Please let’s not talk about them. It’s depressing stuff. How was your visit to Mpumalanga? I thought you would be there longer?”
I asked him. I really did not want to be airing my family’s dirty laundry on the first date and to a man I hardly knew. What if I scared him after this?
“Oh it was fine. I was always going for one night and thank you for the fragrance, my sister loved it!”
He said. I had forgotten that I helped him pick out something for him.
“How did you find out where I stayed?”
I asked him He laughed and said,
“I have a sixth sense! I just guessed!”
He said but again he was teasing.
“I called your friend and asked her. We had good laughs yesterday so I figured I had to see you again before I left!”
He said with a cheesy smile on his face!
“Should she not have told me? I can leave and pretend I never came then call you and ask for directions?”
“I tried calling you but your phone was off. She said she also tried so I guess I was worried that someone had kidnapped you before I saw you in your stockings!”
He said and we both laughed. He was never going to let this go neh!
“No it’s not that at all. I am just surprised that’s all.”
I then went on to explain what had happened to my phone and he was cool with that explanation. Wait a minute, there was something he had said which was still buzzing in my head. Did he say he had to see me before he left, I asked myself?
“Did you say you had to see me before you leave? I did not here you clearly?”
I asked him sitting up to look at him.
“You do remember where I am based right? I am going back tomorrow!”
He said and it was like being told that someone had died. What the hell? I had barely gotten to know him and now he was leaving! Was this what my life was supposed to be? I had just met a great guy and now he had to fly 15 000km away.
“You got to be kidding me! Tell me this one of your jokes!”
I said to him with a stern face because if he was joking then he was not being funny at all.
“I am not kidding Lungi. You never asked when I was leaving and I am sorry if you thought otherwise!”
He said calmly and still smiling. You see this was the problem with this comedian, he always had a smile on his face and I could not tell whether he was kidding or not! Super frustrating I tell you! Why am I so unlucky with men though?
“What time is your flight?’
I asked him.
“It’s in the evening.”
He said. He was not joking. I could tell now. What was I going to do now? I was so annoyed.
“So why are you here? Did you think that you will come get a goodbye shag or something? That’s cruel and mean!”
I said. I was actually getting angry. For some reason I wanted to cry. I can’t believe this was happening. How had I fallen so fast?
“Goodness, I am far from being like that. Didn’t Miriam tell you I was married and happily so? We clicked as friends you and me and that’s all this is about!”
He said. It was like being hit by a truck and when you are not quite dead, it reverses and runs you over again!
“You such an arsehole!”
I said and I left the car, tears stinging on my cheeks. He was married! After all this, he was married!
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)
I have been receiving complaints that the YES blog posts are too short. Each chapter has a minimum of 1800 words minus the quote at the top nor the letter. This works out to six Microsoft word pages per chapter. The other complaint was that I explain too much. Every writer has a style of writing. For me I like the psychological or thought processes that take place in a person’s head before the act on something. I will however try very much to make fewer insights from the character as the story strengthens.
Thank you for the platform.
I am a married woman with three kids. My husband works on a mine and is back on alternative weekends. We have been married 15 years now and because of his job which moves him from mine to mine I had to settle with the kids in one place so he could work. I am a teacher at a private school in Joburg so I have to be in one place anyway. Recently I started having an affair with one of the parents at the school. His wife is also up and down like my husband is. By recent I mean from February. The problem is I am falling for this man and I am now trying to stop the affair but it’s not working. What worries me is after 15 years of being faithful how can I be falling for another man so fast? He is making me question my entire relationship with my husband. Can someone please explain to me how after such a few months I find myself in this position? I thought I loved my husband and this was meant to be a bit of fun and move on but I find myself thinking of the affair more than I do of my husband.