Growing Up Relevant

Growing Up – Chapter 60

Your wedding day is a very special day, a day you want to experience with people close to your heart. I know for sure that I want to have a big and beautiful wedding, but the person who will be my Maid of Honour will have to be someone close to my heart. I will definitely chose Lerato or even Tsiamo to be my Maid of Honour all because I want to rub my happiness in the person’s face. Even besides that, I just don’t want to share my happy day with an enemy. I didn’t understand why Apostle Bae asked Philani to be his Best Man. They were not the best of friends, and it would be cruel to expect Philani to be involved in our wedding.

“Philani, I’m sorry, there seems to be a misunderstanding. I know you think I am cruel but I still care for you and I would never expect you to do that.”

“It seems like your future husband expects me to do it.”

“I’m sorry, I will get to the bottom of this.”

With that said he left, I peeped through the window and watched as his sexy body made it’s way to his car. I wanted to follow him to his car, I wanted to talk to him and find out how he and his family have been. We might be apart but I still cared about him, a lot.

“You’ve been staring out the window for a while now, do you miss him?” I heard Sihle ask.

“I don’t know, I just want to have a conversation with him. I just miss talking to him, I haven’t had a person ask me about my day or how I am doing in a while. I really miss that about him.” I told her.

Sihle kept quiet and stared at me, then she said “Hlengiwe you are still inlove with Philani and you are showing it. I also think he loves you, yes he had his faults but he loved you the way you wanted to be loved. Do you even love this new man or you just with him because he is giving you what you think you need? Hlengy you are still young babe, marriage should not be a priority right now. being with a man just because he is willing to marry you, is not a great idea. You are far worth more than that.”

“No Sihle, I love this man with everything I have,” I said, “He is the best thing that has happened to me, I am not with him because if the marriage. I was planning to break up with Philani and be with him, so this engagement came at the right time. Yes I miss Philani, but only because we were so close. I really love my fiancé and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with him.”

We continued talking about my relationship, I was quiet open to Sihle about my relationship with Philani, but I was surprisingly withdrawn when it came to my relationship with Thulani. I only told her about the good side of things, I never mentioned the bad and ugly. I wanted her to see him as a very brilliant man, not that he wasn’t. I always see on social media, relationship experts always tell us that we should tell our friends the bad things about our men, because we forgive them and our friends don’t. Our friends will use that against us and our men. Yes, that is what the relationship experts tell us and I was just following their advice.

While we were still talking about my relationship, I received a ‘please-call me’ from my aunt. I ignored the 1st one, until she sent me 4 more. My aunt was really surprising, she never called me, she always sent a ‘please call me’ when she wanted to talk to me. I called her and she immediately said

“Your fiancé’s family is coming this week to pay lobola. Just so you know Hlengiwe, I am against you getting married with this guy. Your brother in-law, Mduduzi, is willing to marry you. Hlengiwe you would be mad to let this go, we all know that Mduduzi is rich and he will be able to provide for you. now you want to get married to a Pastor, what if the church doesn’t want to tithe? Then what? You will die of hunger. You know what, I’m going to charge him alot of money just so that he realises that he will never be able to afford you.”

After that she hung up. Why was my aunt trying so hard to make money out of me? all she could think about was money, I was also confused to why Thulani didn’t tell me that they were going to pay my lobola so soon. I didn’t thing that my lobola would happen so quickly, but I was excited.

I told Sihle everything and she seemed happy for me. I then called Apostle Bae because we had alot to talk about. His phone was off, probably because he was still at church, so I left a message asking him to come to my house straight after church.

“Hlengiwe you realise that after the lobola, according to family you will be bound to him forever. I really hope you are ready girlfriend.” Sihle said.

We went to sit in the lounge and waited for Apostle Bae. We decided to start planning for my wedding, I decided that I wanted to have my wedding in 6 months’ time, that would give me enough to plan it. We chilled for a while until my Bae arrived.

When he arrived, he found Sihle and I watching TV. He sat down and tried to make small talk with Sihle, the only thing they could talk about was Church.

“You should come and visit my church one day, just for a change of scenery. You might end up liking it. What do you enjoy most at your church?”

Sihle thought about it for a while, then answered “I love the music first, then the Word. The music at our church is awesome, which shouldn’t be a surprise because we have the best worshippers, for example your fiancé.

This took him by surprise, then he said “I had no idea, I totally didn’t know that Hlengiwe can sing. Baby you can sing?”

I just nodded and Sihle said “She is one of the best, she is the best we have at church. Now that you are taking her, I don’t know how our worship team will sound.”

They continued to talk about church, until Sihle had to leave with her boyfriend.

“Haw Baby why didn’t I know that you can sing?”

‘Hai love we have other things to discuss, why didn’t you tell me that your family is going to pay lobola this weekend? I was really surprised when my aunt called me. Baby you were supposed to tell me” I said.

He responded “Hlengy babe, it was only right for me to let your aunt tell you. That is the way tradition is. But I thought you would be happy that everything is happening fast. Most women are engaged for 5 years before the lobola is paid.”

He was right, most couples are engaged for a long time before any lobola payment is paid. I was really grateful that this man was really serious about me.

“Okay I understand baby,” I said, “But baby sometimes you don’t use your mind ne, why did you ask Philani to be your Best Man…are you insane?”

“Don’t ever talk to me like that Hlengiwe,” he said, “do I look like an insane man to you? Yes I asked Philani to be my Best Man or what you want me to ask permission from you?”

I quickly apologised because I didn’t want him to be angry. I found myself always apologising for the silliest things, just to avoid making him angry. This one time I was waiting for him at the mall, then I came across a guy I used to attend school with and naturally we started catching up. When he arrived and found me with this guy, I introduced them and he seemed cool but when we were left together, he got so angry. He began throwing accusations like a mad man and I had to apologise because I was scared of making him angry. I am not comparing him to Philani in any way, but Philani never made me feel like I need to apologise, just so that he doesn’t get angry.

He, Apostle Bae, once got so angry at me because I chose to go to my church instead of his. I refused to apologise to him and he screamed so loud at me that I was terrified that he was going to beat me up, but fortunately he didn’t.

Anyway after apologising and softening him up, he calmed down and said

“Philani is the one of the few guys I considered to be my friend, and we both know him, so it’s only normal to ask him to be my Best Man. He has already agreed, so we are good to go. I needed to make such decisions baby, because we are getting married in a Month, so we need to get going.

Uhm Wait……did he just say we are getting married in a Month?

Lobola in a week and wedding in a month….this was just too much for me.

I’m calling off this engagement!!


17 thoughts on “Growing Up – Chapter 60

  1. Damn this Apostole Bae has a lot to hide, Hlengiwe will discover his true colors when it’s too late. This is too good to be real unless he’s hiding some psychotic behavior as the signs are already visible, though the fiancé is turning a blind eye into them. If she knows what’s good for her she better call it off, go back to Philani and apologize as he is a normal guy, though he doesn’t to marry her. I foresee danger, unhappiness, oppression and abuse in this marriage, soon he’ll ask her to stop her business, watch the space.

    Thanks for the early dose team, really commendable.

  2. I think she needs to break up with this Thulani. And remain single for a while until she decides what she wants. None of these men respect her, even Philani who claims to care for her but still cheats on her.

  3. Hlengiwe u gonna burn ur fingers. I dont like this dude. Sumthing fishy. Thanx for the daily dose. Happy Sunday and Mothers day

  4. Thank you Khanyi, apostle bae seems to have issues and comes across as abusive. I hope that you don’t get married to him.

  5. Hlengy uzokutrappa everyday once you married..the signs are already there, leave whilst you still can.

    Khanyi…another 2 chapters would have been nice?

  6. Mothers day special request: 1 More chapter please..

    Jizasi,Apostle Bae is abusive and possessive sisi must see this as a sign manje… God back to her Philane that man loves her and he will change his ways for good after almost loosing her….

    Hle give,ukuqala izinto usumdala kwenza nje.hambe phisana ngekhekhe kusinde uMuzi…

  7. Thanx Khanyi but I was hoping for 4 chapters….
    As for Apostle bae has anger management issues,he is a dictator…. Hlehle once married he will re-arrange your pretty face to ugly one struu…

  8. Tjo. This is getting deeper and deeper. But it’s the reality that most women face these days all in the name of love and marriage. Thanks for the lovely installment Khanyi. Can’t wait for next week

  9. Thanks Khanyi
    Signs are there n if u continue u wil b planning ur own funeral sisi,leave that man

  10. Wow this is so addictive enjoyed it so much just wish there were 2 extra chapters can’t wait for next week. Thnx khanyi

  11. Eish, Thulani is a disaster waiting to happen. Ey uyakwata this
    guy. But Hlengiwe is gonna experience it first hand. He is a psycho
    enjalo, how can he expect the guy ayishaye ngestina to be his
    best man? Hey, ngibona kuzomshubela uHlengiwe la.
    She must trace the ex-wife kaPastor and dig b 4 committing Ku
    loluhlanya. Hey ukuthanda imishado, Kobe nilalele webosisi.
    This is a hyena in a ship skin

  12. How long are u gonna apologize for not doing anything wrong…. Yo Hlengi is heading for a disaster…. pastor is a lion in sheep skin….

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