Are grown women even allowed to have crushes? I mean in society men can date younger women and no one cares. All he has to do is be divorced or single and no one cares. He stops being a sugar daddy that very moment. A woman on the other hand must not dare look at a younger man because all of a sudden its taboo and disgusting. Funny enough it is not even men that perpetuate that stereotype but other women! We just love to oppress ourselves because if truth be told, it’s easier to accuse each other than to accuse men hence we find ourselves fighting the same battle we have been fighting for centuries. We are not allowed to own our own emotions and choices because another woman will come and say how it’s not traditionally correct. That’s the problem, we can be feminists all we want but unless we fix us as women we are fighting battles we will never solve as some will always be collaborators.
I can’t believe I just said all that to justify my crush on this young man. He could not stay here!
“Simon, that’s your name right, let’s talk!” my husband said and they went outside. Sizwe liked this thing of taking people under his wing. Simon would not be the first young person he would be trying to mentor.
“Mommy he is so hot!” Lintle said when saw me staring at him. I was so embarrassed I walked away to the bedroom. I needed to rest. I had been suspended because of her. In a short space of time she had managed to turn all our lives upside down. This is one of the reasons that you don’t have one child. Yes you will love them to death but you end up spoiling them. It’s not like you have a choice because all your focus is on them. It’s not something you do on purpose.
“Mom can I talk to you please?”
Lintle said when she knocked and still at the door.
“Yes come in!” I said. I was removing my jewellery and make up. I did not look up at her.
“Dad says you got in trouble because of me and I wanted to say I am sorry for that!” she said, humble and contrite. With a teenager you never know how much truth there is to what they say but I was not going to be mean about it.
“It’s fine my dear. I will sort it out. What did you achieve with your father today?”
I asked her. There was too much hostility in this house so I needed to diffuse it a little bit. We could not live like we were in a prison and constantly at each others necks.
“We went to school. There a few papers he needed to sign. We forwarded my academic transcript and they were happy with it.” she explained.
“You know we are not sending you to boarding school because we don’t love you!” I started telling her.
“I know mom I understand why.” she said sweetly. Lintle is never this sweet unless she wants something. I know my child all too well. She was up to something It will only be a matter of time before we found out why. I was not going to ask her because I will only be told lies.
“Mom can I ask you something?” she said.
“How did you and dad meet?” she asked me. What the fuck? Told you she was up to something.
“It was long time ago. Your father was the hottest guy in my neighbourhood and he had eyes only for me.” I said. I was being dismissive but when I said that it took me back to once upon a time when I was young and carefree. It now felt like it was so long ago. How did things get so bad though?
“I can’t picture dad hot though?” she said and laughed. What was this kid saying about my husband.
“Did you wear short dresses and shorts?” she asked me.
“Where is this going Lintle?” I asked her.
“I just want to see if we have any similarities. You never smile and you hardly ever want to try anything new!” she accused me.
“Are you saying I am boring?” I asked with raised eyebrows.
“Nope, I am not. Let’s go shopping so I can dress you up like you are young again. You want to get old so fast!” she said. I can’t believe this child. She was in trouble as was but she was already negotiating shopping. That’s what she was after. She knew the decision for her going to boarding school was already made and final meaning she wanted new clothes.
“So all this was about me taking you shopping?” I asked her.
She looked down at her feet. She had been busted. Parents know their children but the children don’t seem to acknowledge this.
“No mom I just wanted to…” she said with a lump in her throat.
“I would have taken you shopping had you just come and asked but because you went round and round in circles trying to trick me. what should I do?” I asked her. She sat down on my bed with a stupid look on her face. I did not shout at her. I wanted her to find the answers for herself hence why I handled it like this.
“I am sorry mom. I just don’t know how to talk to you anymore. It’s like in your eyes I am always up to something. Even to ask for pocket money I am too scared. When last did I ask you?” she asked me. She had again managed to turn it on me and it’s true, I can’t recall the last time I gave her pocket money because often she would ask for it. She had stopped asking and I had never actually realized.
“Is it my fault though?” I asked her.
“No am not saying that it is. Things are just not the same between us and I thought us shopping together may be a way to smoothen things between us. I will be leaving soon and I don’t want us to to part like this!” she said, sounding more mature than me. She had cornered me into saying yes because after that little speech saying no would have been an injustice.
“Okay go change so we can go!” I said and she gave a fist pump as she walked away. I was not too sure about this decision but she was right on us trying to find a solution. I also needed a pick me up.
I went downstairs to my husband who was watching TV now. With all these shenanigans happening in parliament I was not surprised what he was watching.
“This country is falling apart if we allow such rubbish!” se said as soon as I walked in. I followed politics but was never too interested in it. We all know we are being lied to yet again and again we allow it.
“What did you discuss with that boy?” I asked him. I did not want to call him Simon lest my husband question how come I knew his name so fast when I was already so bad with names.
“Oh, I wanted to hear what he wants to achieve. He can’t just come to Jhb to look for a job blindly. He has to have something he wants to do!” my husband said.
“Did you see his results though? He is pretty smart!” I said. He said he had and that he was going to introduce him to some of his friends and see if anyone was willing to risk and give him a job.
“Problem with having only a matric certificate is that even if you get a job, you will be underpaid and mistreated!” he said without taking his eyes off the TV and again he was right. I don’t have much respect for colleges either but it’s better than nothing.
“Mom I am ready!”
Lintle said as she stepped into the room. She was wearing very short shorts and though they didn’t show her bum her father and I immediately said,
“You not going anywhere dressed like that!” we said it at the same time. She knew we didn’t allow her to dress like that but lately she was all about pushing boundaries. I did not even buy her those shorts but then again I did not know all her clothes. When she goes to boarding school I was going to make sure I packed for her.
“Are you guys for real though? This is not the 1950s!” she complained as she went back upstairs.
“She will be the death of us!” her father said.
“Where are you going?” he said looking me up and down. I told him that we were going to do a bit of shopping.
“Can I have your bank card?” I asked him. I had money but often he complained that I never let him shop for us. He sat up and he took it out of his wallet.
“Just know that if you over shop I will call the bank to say my card has been stolen!” he said and we laughed. Lintle came back dressed a bit more conservative. She went straight to the car.
“Which mall do you want mum?” hhe asked.
“I think Rosebank.” I told her.
I loved it because it was such a relaxed mall and always felt like it was open and spacious. Sandton City just puts too much pressure on you, they have beautiful things yes but also needed the budget. Fourways Mall is too congested, the shops are too many in what seems a small space. Cresta has too many students and rather childish for me whilst Melrose Arch is full of pretenders and people that think they are better than other blacks which is why it was Rosebank for me!
“I am hungry though mom can’t we grab a bite first before we shop!” she asked as we got into parking. I agreed with her as I too was starving. I made her pick the restaurant. We wanted to sit outside as it was quite warm and as we sat down I asked for a glass of water. Lintle had the menu in her hand and suddenly she stopped.
“Mum we have to go!” she said in a hissing whisper.
“What do you mean we have to go? We haven’t even eaten?” I asked surprised by her sudden change of heart.
“I am full now. I will eat at home.” she said, already standing up to leave.
“Lintle you are embarrassing us come on!” I said a bit annoyed.
I could see she kept on looking to her right so I looked to see what it was she was looking at. There was a man walking towards us and a few people but I was not sure.
“So we meet at last!”
The man I had noticed coming towards us said when he got to us.
I would know that voice from anywhere.
It was Python!
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)
Thank you for the books. I enjoy reading them a lot. When are you publishing the others because I want the whole collection.
I am from Kimberly and I am 28 years old. I have been dating a married man now for three years. Kimberly is a small town and his wife found out early on. She confronted me and I broke up with him. I tried to stay away from him but something always drew us back together. Now I am pregnant with his child at the same time his wife is also pregnant. I got a new job in Pretoria without telling him. I am thinking its best I leave without telling him. I can’t stay away from him so I might as well run away. His wife has been trying to have kids for years and I think I have outstayed my welcome. I get it, I am bad for being with him but try loving someone first to understand why walking away is not easy. I have the resources to raise my child alone.
Is it wise though not to tell him and just disappear?