When I woke up I was in a strange place there were lights all around me, at first I was a bit confused about what was happening then it all came back to me. I wondered what in God’s name they were going to do to me next. I closed my eyes, not wanting to see what was going to happen to me next. What they had done was beat me up until I passed out so my plan was to pretend to still be out until I felt I had a better lie or had a plan, I must have kept my eyes shut for over ten minutes and each time I tried moving my body was in all sorts of pains. I was not curious to see how badly they had hit me this time, at least it wasn’t water I told myself. After a few minutes I heard a familiar voice say “look her eyes are moving” shit I was busted, you know if you are awake your eyes move unlike when you are sleeping, when you are asleep, your eyes are still and do not move. I had no choice but to open my eyes and put on a fake smile, when I tried smiling my face was not moving it felt tight like someone had cement it together, okay this was not normal, I opened my eyes and it felt like they were only half opened it felt like I was squinting my eyes. “Hello from the other side” She Rocks was singing, I could hear her but my sight was blurry “How did you get here?” I asked, my face my mouth everything ached when I spoke. “I don’t understand the question. Do you know where you are?” I shook my head then said “please tell me we are in Mozambique, please.” Before she could answer someone came in and said “she’s awake” it was a male voice that I couldn’t recognize and because my vision was a bit damaged I couldn’t really see who it was.
“We will need to do a few checks please go and wait outside.” the voice I didn’t recognize instructed my friend. In my head I thought it was those police officers with everything in me I screamed “noooo, don’t leave me with him, he’s going to kill me.” I was hysterical She Rocks tried explaining that it was a doctor who was taking care of me but I wanted to hear none of that, I kept telling her that he’s going to kill me and she shouldn’t leave me, “the doctor” realized I was not going to give up this fight. It didn’t matter that I was in excruciating pain and that every time I moved any part of my body including my mouth the pain I was feeling was worse than the pain of natural birth, so he told her she should stay with. Everywhere he touched while he was busy examining me, I told him it hurt, he said he would give me some strong sedatives to numb the pain. Grating my teeth, I asked if the sedatives would make me sleep he said yes so I told him then I didn’t need them, the last thing I wanted was for the two men to come back for me while I was under medication and finish me off. She Rocks assured me that I was safe there and had nothing to worry about but I still wouldn’t hear of it. Wince my eyes were swollen and I couldn’t see clearly, I think they gave me the sedative through the drip because a few minutes later I was dozing in and out of consciousness and the pain became less and less, in fact I could not feel anything. When I woke up, Cleo was there this time and She Rocks nowhere around. “Are you guys taking turns watching me?” I asked as soon as I realized that the blurry reflection I was seeing was Cleo, she laughed and said “barely alive but you still cracking jokes, it must be nice.” I went silent for a few seconds then asked “What do you mean by barely alive? How did you guys find me?” she came close and said I should get better first and she will tell me everything.
All I wanted to know was if I was in hospital did that mean my prayers have been answered and those two bastards are dead, but each time I mentioned these two men Cleo was as confused as hell and the pain medication was wearing off so each word that came out was causing me a lot of pain so I had to choose my words and speak only important issues. I told Cleo I was in pains, “I don’t blame you, I don’t know what you were thinking jumping out of a police moving van, you are no cat woman sisters” I asked her what she meant by jumping out of a police moving van, then it all made sense those bastards were trying to get themselves in the clear by saying I got hurt while I was trying to escape from them. Oh wow, it was a good story that they had come up with but I was not going to let them get away with it, I was so angry. Cleo didn’t understand why I was getting worked up so she went to go call the doctor. Sitting in bed was not helping my cause, I needed to get out of bed find those two bastards and make them pay for what they did to me. While Cleo was gone I tried standing up, just lifting my head proved to be one hell of a mission, everything ached, when my head was finally up it started pounding like hell and I felt dizzy. Luckily Cleo and the doctor came and told me to lie down again and not try standing or moving to fast, Cleo said I was going to need physio but before she could even finish her sentence I screamed “Nooo, noo, please, nooo, I can’t be paralazyed.” Tears were now flowing down my face at the thought of being paralayzed by those fools and the way the tears were going in the wounds in my face which stung so badly, everything I did was just painful. The pain was too much, I was done, I could not take it anymore. Then I remembered I was pregnant “oh my God, my baby, what about my baby?” and I started loosing my mind going crazy I no longer cared about the pain I was again hysterical the doctor said they needed to calm me down then put a syringe directly into me this time not waiting for the drip. He probably realized that shit was going to take too long. In seconds I was out like a light, I had nightmares of being chased by those the two evil policeman. For days it was the same thing I would come to, I would get fed because my hands were bandaged I literally could not do anything for myself. After being fed by a nurse I would immediately fall asleep, every now and again She Rocks or Cleo would be there and each time I asked them a question I would somehow hear an answer I wasn’t expecting and start going hysterical and the doctor would immediately inject me and I would go back to sleep.
One particular day I decided to be calm and not overreact so on this day Cleo was there, my mouth was getting better and the pains were less but they still would not allow me to use a mirror, I was not allowed to look at my face and the rest of my body was covered in bandages so I could not see that either, it was a bit frustrating I wanted to see the damage that had been done but I realized that they were denying me access to a mirror to protect me, I wondered how ugly I looked. “So what’s today’s date?” I asked Cleo, this was an innocent question but the answer I got had me hysterical again, “It’s the 7th” Cleo calmly said “December?” I asked “No stupid, we in 2016, it’s January” I was hysterical again, I had missed Christmas and the thirty first of December celebration, “Chill at least you still have Easter to look forward to.” I love Christmas and the whole family gathering that happen around those times, to now be told that I had missed all that was devastating. So basically every small thing that I would hear I would just flip and the doctor would have to calm me down. She Rocks and Cleo still wouldn’t tell me where we were but I had a sneaky suspicion that we were in Mozambique because my nurse would speak a language which I knew was not one of the eleven official languages when she would speak on the phone. I had not seen or heard about Mthobisi and the girls refused to talk about him and Andiswa, basically a lot of things were off limits, but I kept noticing a few things. The swelling in my eyes had gone down so I could now see properly, the bandages had also come off my face and I could speak without much pain, I had apparently broken a jaw which is why it was a struggle for me to speak. I also realized that the place we were in was not a hospital but a house because I had the same doctor attend to me and the same nurse and my room felt like a home and not a hospital room. In a week I was doing much better and I had calmed down way more than before and I could hear news without overreacting and becoming hysterical over everything. The nurse could sit me up without my head pounding from pain.
One day when Cleo and She Rocks were not around I asked the nurse to walk me outside, she hesitated then said I should speak to the doctor, this woman was crazy, why would I need to speak to the doctor for a walk outside, on that particular day the doctor wasn’t around so I sat in my bed as always and slept the following day the doctor was there, I asked if I could speak to him and I told him “Listen I’m sure my husband has given you strict instructions to not let me out of the house, but I just need a bit of fresh air and don’t tell me about opening the window I need to walk outside.” The doctor looked at me and said “You’ve healed well in the past couple of weeks and you are recovering so well and you have made really progress but I feel that it’s time I shared a few things about your health.” He paused, there is nothing that annoys me like a person who pauses pause mid-sentence then continues as if nothing happened, I wanted to say “go on” but words wouldn’t come out of my mouth, I knew he was about to tell me something horrible. “I am so sorry you have lost the baby.” Shit, lost another baby? How many babies was I going to lose? At that moment my heart broke in million pieces I wanted to die and follow my babies, tears just started coming down my face uncontrollably. “I’m sorry but there is something else that I need to tell you, if you want me to tell you some other time I can do that.” He said looking at me with empathy in his eyes “No doctor please go ahead and tell me everything I can take it.” I said trying to convince myself “when you fell out of the police van there was a lot of damage done to your body, I am sorry to have to tell you this but you are paralyzed.” This time I screamed out loud, what the hell had I gotten myself into? Never being able to walk again was the price I was paying for love.