Growing Up Relevant

Growing Up – Chapter 25

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I am a woman and I love feeling special. Having sex with me and leaving immediately afterwards does not make me feel special. It makes me feel used and feel like some cheap girl. Like any other woman, after having sex I want a man to whisper sweet nothings into my ear and hold me in his arms until we both fall asleep. In the morning I would expect a man to make me breakfast in bed, after eating the breakfast , we would have to take a bath together, and maybe just maybe have another round of great sex.

Maybe I expected this because Philani would and has never left me immediately after having sex. Apostle Thulani’s action was cruel, seriously cruel, I don’t think I deserved to be treated like that – no woman deserves such treatment. If you are a man that does this, my brother PLEASE PLEASE stop, it’s not right.

I heard that there are women now who don’t want to cuddle, especially if you aren’t her man, after doing the deed they leave or tell the guy to leave, depending on whose apartment it is. Ladies who do this, I envy you, I wish I was as strong as you ladies. Come to think of it, Thandiwe was probably like that with her side nigga’s.

I was really hurt and I tried so hard to sleep but I couldn’t. I decided to call him and ask why he did what he did. The phone rang but he didn’t answer, I tried calling him countless times but he didn’t answer. This man was trying his best to break me or trying to prove a point, I don’t know what point he was trying to prove.

After a while my phone rang , I thought it was Thulani, without looking at the caller I’d I answered the call.

Me: “Why did you leave me like that?” I screamed at the caller, and he said,

“Haw baby, I’m sorry. You know my job is important but I will be back tomorrow, but you were okay the day I left. What changed, are you fine Angel?”

Damn it, it wasn’t Thulani. The caller was Philani, I shouldn’t have screamed the way I did. Now I had to make him believe that I was angry at him. How will I explain being angry at another man for leaving me?

Me: I’m okay, I just miss you.

Philani: No baby you not fine, you sounded very angry when you answered the phone, what’s wrong?

Me: I’m just angry because you didn’t call me the whole day, so I feel neglected and I really miss you.

Philani: Askisi my love I miss you too. I’m not neglecting you, we were just busy the whole day. I’ll make it up to you when I get back.

Me: Okay, when are you coming back?

Philani: I’m coming back tomorrow afternoon, but I will see you the day after because I will be tired when I get back. How was your day and is my car fine?

I told him everything that happened that day, but I excluded the important part of the day- the part where I was chowed by his Apostle. He was very shocked to find out how my sister’s in-laws were treating me and that Mdu was allowing them to get away with it. He promised me that I was never going to experience that because his family loves me and if they ever mistreated me he would stand up for me.

What he said was sweet and would happen in an ideal world. I know it wouldn’t happen in my world because Philani was too afraid of his mother. I have never seen Philani stand up to his mother and tell her if she was wrong, he was too much of a wimp. Whenever I told him that he needs to learn to be a man and not allow his mom to boss him around, he would tell me that I don’t understand his relationship with his mom. Boys and their mothers neh! I was lucky though because his mom liked me, so the fear or respect he had for his mom worked in my favour, well most of the time.

There are a few times that I remember where she irritated me with her bossiness. It was my birthday so Philani had bought me a handbag, spa voucher and shopping voucher. I don’t know how his mother saw my presents but she complained that Philani never did anything for her, but he goes all out for me. This was a lie because Philani did so much for his mother, he looks after her more than his other siblings do. She said she also wants a beauty spa and shopping voucher because she has been stressed, Philani gave her mine. When he came to my place, I didn’t know what he bought for me, so when he gave me a handbag I was happy. I was happy until he said “Baby my mom isn’t fine so I gave her your other presents, but I will make it up to you.” I was so pissed when I found out what he gave her. But ever since I got used to her, her bossiness works for me.

After the call I fell asleep. I woke up early and I didn’t have plans for the day. I decided to call my ex best friend, the traitor who took my high school boyfriend, uBongile. She didn’t answer the first 2 times, but I didn’t give up, I called until she answered.

Bongile: Hello.

Me: Hey Bongi, you are speaking to Hlengiwe.

Bongile: Oh Hlengy I’m sorry for not answering your first calls. I was busy, how can I help you?

Me: I promised you that I would do your nails and hair, so I’m available today. Can I come?

Bongile: Yoh sisi I’m at home but I don’t have money, can we make it month end?

Hahahaha she doesn’t have money for nails and hair? It must really be hard for them.

Me: Don’t worry about that dear, I am the one who offered to do your nails, so I will do it for free.

Bongile: But you are a business woman, I can’t expect you to do it for free.

Me: Don’t worry love, doing your nails and hair for free won’t dent my profit at all. Take it as a gift, your lobola gift and motherhood gift.

Bongile: If you put it like that then I guess you can come.

Me: What time can I come?

Bongile: You can come at 12.

Me: Okay love, I will see you later.

Bongile: Okay dear, I can’t wait.

Mxm she was lying, she didn’t want me to come, but I was going to be there. I was happy that I had Philani’s car with me.

I cleaned the house and did my washing… urgh, I hate cleaning and washing. I only enjoy cooking, but cleaning and washing is just not my thing. I will definitely have a lady that will help me with those chores when I get married. After finishing my chores, I took a bath and drove to the township where Bongile and Sipho live.

I didn’t get lost because I paid attention when I drove them the last time. I arrived and found her taking out a bucket of dirty water, maybe she just finished cleaning. I waited for her to pour out the water, we both walked into the house. She washed her hands and came to greet me, the coldness that consumed the hug was too much yoh.

Bongile: Awusese muhle nje, yini isecret yakho?” (You are so beautiful, what’s your secret?)

Me: Hahaaha I don’t have a secret, maybe it’s being in a happy relationship and having a successful business at my age.

Bongile: Hai you look very beautiful my friend.

Friend? I’m not her friend.

Me: Thank you sisi.

When we went to the lounge, I found 3 babies, 2 of them were dirty.

Me: Whose babies are these

Bongile: They are mine?

Me: All of them? Yoh I thought you only have 2 children. You must be joking, 3 kids already?

She just nodded and I could see that she was offended by what I said. I didn’t care though, Bongile was my age, 22, where and when did she manage to fall pregnant 3 times already? She and Sipho were still young, and they have their whole lives ahead them to make babies. I think she was really stupid for having so many babies at her age. They will probably make another baby when she is 24, again at 27, again at 29, this will go on until they have 100 babies.

Bongile: What can I say phela I’m a married woman, and I must make babies for my husband. You will understand once you are married.

Huuu the way she said it, the way she said it made me angry. She wasn’t married yet mos, or does lobola count as marriage? Not in my books, her husband probably even paid a quarter of the total amount. That is what these guys do manje. We ladies want to get married angisho, so the guy just pays R5000 or even less just to keep you happy. After that he will never come back to pay the remaining amount, unless he really wants to marry you.

Me: Oh ya I wouldn’t know because I’m so focused on building my business, marriage is the last thing on my mind. How old are your babies?

Bongile: Nqobile is turning 4 next month, Bahle is 2 and Siya is 6 months.

The first born is the child they made when they were busy acting like they love me. Her name is Nqobile, the name Nqobile means conquered. I believe that there is a story behind every name. So Bongile was obviously telling her own story with the names she gave her children. Giving her child the name Nqobile, means she believes she conquered something. My question is who or what did she conquer? Maybe she betrayed her friend, took her man and conquered! Mxm stupid girl.

Me: How do you juggle work, being a mom and a wife?

Bongile: It’s not really hard for me because my mom and mother in-law help a lot with the kids.

Her babies were very cute, except Nqobile. She was just normal, nothing special about her.

I did her hair and nails. It took longer than usual because she occasionally had to stop fights, change nappies, and feed the kids. We spoke about the past (expect the part where she betrayed me) and honestly I missed speaking to her, we went on and on as if we were still best friends. I guess the connection between friends never dies. When I was done, I left because her babies were irritating me, especially this Nqobile. We promised to make a date and go out with our men because she wanted to meet Philani.

I went to buy food and I went home, when I arrived I found my sister sitting outside with her baby.

Me: Thenjiwe are you visiting?

Thenjiwe: No I’m moving back in.

Moving back in? Ehhh!

21 thoughts on “Growing Up – Chapter 25

    1. I can’t believe this girl hey. She doesn’t know this guy from anywhere but she just put her life and Philani in danger

  1. Thnx Khanyi. 1) UR rushing yo story, covering 4months in one paragraph.
    2) U give away the story too soon almost like Hlengy. If U left out the last 3sentences, U wud give us something to look forward to.

    Any who, I think Hlengiwe is slowly but surely becoming a sex addict after discovering the forbidden fruit. That’s what is wrong wth depriving yoself for too long, U want to make up for lost time. Having yo cake & eating it.
    Qaphela sisi we! Having sex without condom is like driving without brake pads. The hand brake (morning after pill) is not for braking, its for parking, read yo K53. Even F1 drivers (street girls) rely on brake pads. “Towning” is risking wth yo lyf – PapaG

    1. PapaG, why don’t you take your own advice and write your own blog…. You are forever at Khanyi’s case… just let up, read and see how the plot unfolds….

  2. There is nothing wrong with this story people read with judgemental minds…..they have never been committed to church and so they don’t know how it feels like to commit a sin and never forgive yourself… stray and love it….atlist that’s what I think the story line is about……

  3. @flow, U got it all wrong. What Im giving is called “constructive criticism”. It doesn’t mean if I can’t write then I can’t criticize, especially if Im helping a sister to fly higher.
    Im not shooting her down, so I wont wari!

  4. I don’t like the fact that the story is told with the mind of a 5 year old. It’s got a lot of unnecessary info and things are rushed in each episode. I love the storyline but try using a different approach

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