Growing Up Relevant

Growing Up – Chapter 24

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Is it possible for a person to be pregnant without knowing? I wouldn’t know because I’ve never been pregnant, Tsiamo probably also didn’t know because, as far as I know she has never been pregnant before.

I think I would be happy to be pregnant, but only if the pregnancy is planned and I’m married to the love of my life – Philani Mazibuko. I’ve seen how many couples, both married and not married, become excited when they are pregnant. The months of the pregnancy are occupied by getting things ready for the baby, some people even buy new homes that are child-friendly and a lot of money is spent in buying things for the bundle of joy that is coming.

Tsiamo’s pregnancy was a shock to us, all of us.

Tsiamo: Child? I’m pregnant? But how?

Doctor: You didn’t know? You are 6 weeks pregnant dear. I’m sorry you had to find out like this.

With that said the doctor left us. We stared into space for a couple of minutes, until Tsiamo spoke

Tsiamo: How could I have been so stupid mara yoh.

Me: Who is the father?

Sihle: Mara Hlengi, we all know who the father is, it’s obviously Mlungisi.

Tsiamo: What makes you sure that it’s Mlungisi?

Sihle: Mlu is the only guy you’ve been fucking around with unless you are trying to tell us that you sleep with multiple guys at the same time, without a condom?

Me: So Mlu is the dad, Oh my…this is scary. I hope there won’t be any drama.

Sihle: This is what happens when you sleep with other people’s men. It’s even worse that you chose to sleep with him without a condom? How stupid can you be? You know when you have sex without a condom you will fall pregnant dear.

Tsiamo: Don’t lecture me please.

Sihle wanted to say something but I signalled her to keep quiet. Sihle changed since she had been with Tshepo, it’s like she has found her voice. Sihle used to be quiet, Tsiamo would bully her and say whatever she wanted to say, but Sihle would remain quiet. Since she has been with Tshepo, all that has changed. She voices out her opinions and has become a revolutionary woman. I guess Tshepo is very good for her because I believe he encouraged her to find her voice and influences her thinking in a good way. He is not the type of boyfriend who expected her to let him control her. She was able to speak her mind, tell him how she feel and be honest about her emotions and what she wants from the relationship.

He was a brilliant boyfriend and the perfect fit for her, the kind of person she needed to help her grow as a young woman.

Anyway we kept quiet and were still shocked that Tsiamo was going to be a mommy, it all seemed surreal.

Tsiamo: I know what I’m going to do, I’m going to have an abortion.

An abortion? Isn’t that a bit extreme? I only understand abortion when a person was raped. It would be hard to raise a child that was a product of your pain. But Tsiamo wasn’t raped, she had sex with a person she had feelings with, she was happy when it happened. I think if she had an abortion she would regret it for the rest of her life. I don’t know how it was going to affect her spiritual life, but I know for sure that she was going to be filled with a lot of guilt, which leads to self-condemnation and it could potentially destroys a person’s spiritual life. We had to talk her out of this decision, because it would destroy her.

Sihle: Like hell you are. You aren’t going to have an abortion. You always told us that having an abortion is sinful, manje wena you want to do it? Forget it sisi.

Tsiamo: Sihle I don’t want to be a single mother. Having a child now will destroy a lot of things in my life. Mlu has chosen to be with Thando and I know that I will raise the child on my own. Being raised by a single parent is hard guys, I don’t want my child to grow up the same way I did.

Sihle: Hai Tsiamo please don’t act like you were struggling, that is a lie.

Tsiamo: I know we weren’t struggling completely at home, but it was hard for my mother to make ends meet, we didn’t have the luxuries that other kids had. My mother also didn’t have enough time to give us all attention, it was hard for her. Not having a father figure also affected me negatively. I don’t want my child to go through the same things I went through.

Me: I understand girl but abortion isn’t a good choice. Don’t make a hasty decision please. Give yourself a couple of days then you will make a decision, a proper decision.

She agreed with me, we left after a while. As the doctor promised she was discharged the following day.

A few weeks passed and her tummy was growing, she decided to keep the baby. She stopped going to church because she didn’t want to be the gossip focus and didn’t want to cause drama between Thando and Mlu. Thando was going to give birth very soon, so she didn’t need any stress. Sihle and I decided to not say anything.

Mlu’s family went to pay lobola, and Thando gave birth a week after lobola was paid. She gave birth to a baby boy and couldn’t be happier. Tsiamo was now between 3-4 months pregnant, nobody at church knew that she was pregnant.

My sister also gave birth, but to a baby girl and this was my first time going to see the baby. Her mother-in law said we could only see the baby a month after birth. I didn’t understand all of this because I was family, but I didn’t argue with them because I didn’t want to be accused of disrespecting their family.

The baby was now 6 weeks old, so I had to go and see her. My sister wasn’t even allowed to send me pictures, I didn’t know my niece’s name- that is how extreme my sister’s in-laws were.

Philani lent me his car because I had a lot of prezzies for my princess. My sister sent me a message and asked me to buy her a chicken wrap and malva pudding. After buying things I went to her house. When I arrived there were so many cars outside, I was very pissed because I was planning to see spend time with my sister and the princess alone.

I went inside the house and found the Msibi’s, my sister’s in-laws, sitting in the lounge. They were sitting with the baby but my sister wasn’t there. I greeted them and went to my sister’s room. I found her watching a movie and she didn’t look happy.

Me: Mother of the princess, how are you?

Thenjiwe: I’m okay nana and you?

Me: I’m excited, can’t wait to hold the baby. You don’t look okay, what’s wrong?

Thenjiwe: Eish where do I begin?

Me: From the very beginning sisi.

She let out a huge sigh and began to speak:

Mdu’s family has taken over my house and I can’t do anything because he allows them. His mother is taking control of everything. She made him move out of the house because she says we shouldn’t be together after I’ve given birth. Then she doesn’t want people, except their family, to come and see the baby. I gave my baby names, but she doesn’t want them, luckily I already have a birth certificate with the names I gave her. She also decides what I need to eat, when I disagree with anything she says, she always says “I’m not your mother sisi, you should be grateful that I’m even here to help you, this is your mothers job not mine”. I didn’t even ask her to come and help because we hired a nurse that will come 4 times a week and a woman to help me with the things I don’t know. Mdu and I haven’t even spent time together since the baby arrived. I’m suppose to respect her because she’s my mother in-law.

I felt sorry for my sister, she didn’t deserve such treatment. We sat together and I only got to see the baby for about 10 minutes before the mother in-law kicked me out. The princess’ name is  Lethokuhle Gugulethu Msibi – beautiful names, very beautiful names.

Her tiny hands, little feet, small nose and lips, big eyes were just to die for… I fell in-love with her the moment I held her in my arms. She was so perfect.

I went back home and was very bored because Philani went on a business trip, Sihle was sleeping at her man’s place and Tsiamo went home so that she could let her mom know that she was going to be a parent. I was alone and very bored so I decided to call Apostle Thulani to come over.

Thulani: Yebo Hlengiwe.

Me: Come over, I’m bored.

Thulani: Okay

I quickly went to take a bath, and put on lacy underwear and put on a gown . He arrived and went to sit in the lounge, I joined him and we had a little chat. He told me that his shoulders were heavy so I offered to give him a massage. He took off his shirt and laid down. I sat on his back, and massaged him.

The massaging went on for a while, then he turned his body and faced me. He pushed me towards him and kissed me, he put his hand under my gown and took it off.

He made me stand up and told me to swirl because he wants to see my body. He was happy to see my sexy underwear and told me he loves a woman who prepares when she is going to get a “great fu*king” – his words!

He pushed me to the wall and kissed me, carried me and placed me on the kitchen counter. He kissed me so passionately and hungrily, he took off my underwear and did some amazing magic with his tongue in my cookie. I swear I reached my orgasm very quickly. After that we went to my room, he threw me on the bed and when he was about to put his mbobo inside my cookie…. I stopped him…

Me: Use a condom.

Thulani: I don’t want to, it won’t feel the same.

Me: Haike no glove no love!

He stood up and said okay. Was this man serious? I thought he was going to beg me but he didn’t. I found myself begging him to not leave.

Thulani: If I stay, we will have sex without a condom and we will do it the way I want us to do it.

I just nodded in agreement to everything he said. I knew I was not in risk of falling pregnant because Philani made me take prevention pills.

We went back to where we left off, my body was very excited. I have honestly been waiting for this for a while now. We had sex, hard-core sex. He made me feel like a porn-star but I loved and enjoyed it, he took charge of my body and everything he made me do, took me by surprise.

When we were done, I thought we were going to cuddle like normal people. But he got dressed and left me there hanging.

I was shocked.

What is wrong with this man?

10 thoughts on “Growing Up – Chapter 24

  1. Yeeeeer Hlengi, you gambling with your life my dear. This guy is a pevert and uzokuthelela i Aids, you stupid

  2. Seriously why are people concerned more about not having a baby than getting infected..its beyond me really. Hlengiwe uhambe wrongo on this one, hayi sisi.

  3. Kodwa Hlengi Hlengi Hlengi whhhhy i dnt trust dis guy at all n nami i dnt understand y ppl r more concerned abt getting preg den getting HIV yhoo Thulani dis guy is sumthing else i dnt like him

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