Growing Up Relevant

Growing Up – Chapter 21

Revenge is sweet, especially if you didn’t plan it. I believe unplanned revenge is called Karma, the universe giving you a taste of your own medicine. It would be very lovely to find that Philani saw me and the Apostle kissing. He could be angry all he wants but at least I can use his situation with Lerato as an excuse, and I will simply use his words against him: “if you had told me that you were coming, you wouldn’t have walked in on us”. I wonder how that would make him feel.

But Philani was all smiles, as though he hadn’t seen anything.

Philani: My Apostle, it’s always lovely to see you. What brings you here?

Thulani: After I heard that your lovely lady is in hospital, I thought I should come see her and leave a prayer.

Philani:  I’m glad you came. We appreciate it Apostle, don’t we Angel?

Me:  Of course, I really appreciate it.

Philani: It’s wonderful to have spiritual leaders like you, you really care for people.

Thulani: It’s all because of Grace.

I wonder why Philani didn’t ask him who told him that I was in hospital. He was busy acting like a groupie and all logic evaporated from his body. Apostle Thulani prayed for me and then left. When he prayed, he was so believable. It was the same when he was preaching, you would swear that he was a saint. He became a different person when he was with me and when other people were around. I believe that in private I got to experience the real him, not the Thulani that was masquerading around as a purely good man.

After he left, I was left with this fool Philani.

Philani: Baby you still angry because I slept with Lerato?

Kanti what did this guy expect? He expected me to throw him a party and congratulate him for cheating on me. He doesn’t even seem apologetic about it, ngathi he wants me to just accept it.

Me: No, I’m not angry that you slept with your ‘friend’. Angisho it’s normal for me to find my boyfriend having sex with his so-called friends.

Philani: Baby please tell me how you feel.

Me: Philani I’m angry and disappointed in you. I’m not only angry because of what you did with Lerato, But I’m angry because of the things you said earlier that day. Philani you made it clear to me that your friends come first every time, I’m still angry because you told me that you don’t want to marry me. You think I’m not good enough for marriage but I’m good enough to have to be patient and forgiving to your ways. I asked you about Lerato when I first met her, and you assured me that she is only a good friend. Is this how you are with all your friends Philani? You invite them to your house and have sex with them? I’m clearly not good enough for you.

Philani: No, baby you are more than enough for me, it’s just that I have become used to sleeping with her.

Me: So you guys have been having sex for a while now? How long has it been Philani?

Philani: Baby that isn’t important.

Me: It is important to me, how many times have you slept together? Be honest Philani, because I’m going to ask her and you know she will be more than happy to tell me the truth.

Philani: Eish love….don’t be angry ke. I don’t know how many times but we’ve been sleeping together for about 2years now.

Me: WHAT?????? You’ve slept together 2 times or you’ve been sleeping together for 2 years?

Philani: 2 years.

Me: You’ve got to be kidding me Philani. You’ve got to be F**KEN kidding me man!

Philani: Baby please calm down.

Me: Calm down? You want me to calm down? That is rich coming from you because just a few days ago you were very angry because your friend told you that I was busy with some guy. You were so angry like you were there to see it with your own eyes. How can you expect me to calm down? It even hurts to know that you have been cheating on me for 2 years, so mina I’m a fool.

Philani: Baby I’m not really cheating, it is just sex, nothing more. Cheating on you would be having an emotional affair with another woman. You are the only person I love Hlengiwe. I love you more than you could ever imagine.

Me: So you telling me that if I were to have sex with another man, you wouldn’t mind? Don’t make me angry Philani tu….your love isn’t important right now. You are cheating on me and we need to deal with that. How did it all begin?

Philani: Baby you don’t need to know the details.

Me:”You don’t tell me what I need or don’t need. Tell me how it all began?

Philani: We met at church, obviously, and she added me on facebook. We began to inbox each other regularly and we eventually exchanged numbers. I saw how angry she became every time I told her I was with you so I wouldn’t be able to chat. You remember when Mzee’s mom passed away and I went to Natal for the funeral?

Mzee is his friend from church. I gave him a nod, and he continued,

Philani: Angisho I toldyou that there were 4 of us who went to the funeral. We were all booked into the same hotel, the other 2 were a couple so they slept in the same room. Well the night we arrived, when everyone was going to sleep she came to my room. We chilled and we kissed, then one thing led to another and we had sex.

Me: So you guys continued even after the trip?

Philani: It was hard not to babe, because we weren’t having any sex and she was throwing herself at me.

Me: So you are blaming me for your infidelity?

Philani: No, love I’m not blaming you. You said I should be honest.

Me: Okay you continued because I didn’t want to have sex with you neh, but now I do mos Philani? I even learned new things because I don’t want you to be bored and you do this? Is she better than me, that is why you can’t stop having sex with her?

Philani: Baby nobody is better than you.

Me: So why are you still having sex with her if she’s not better than me.

Philani: I can’t explain but I promise it will never happen again Angel. I love you and only you.

I won’t lie, my confidence took a quite a knock. Philani not being able to stop having sex with Lerato meant that she was better in bed than I could ever be. I know he said he would but I didn’t believe him. I don’t even know how do guys distinguish who is better and who is the best. They probably don’t judge by beauty because I am way prettier than Lerato. She was beautiful but man I was extremely beautiful even if I have to say so myself, but here was Philani busy with this Lerato.

Lerato didn’t like me even before she met me, she has been determined to win my man without me even knowing her. It’s pretty rough in the department of love. What would I have done if she actually succeeded in seducing my man? Kanti why are we girls so determined to destroy other people’s relationships? Why don’t you mess around with a single guy? It’s really sad that we would do anything to destroy each other, where is the sisterhood?

Days passed and I was discharged. It was very boring, because I no longer had a car, so I was stuck at home. Apparently my car was beyond repair. Tjo mara my little scorocoro, I loved that car. So my plan now was to save enough to buy a new car, and maybe my sister would help me.

Philani and I were okay, I know most women are probably judging me for going back to him. Yes I went back to him, he is MY man after all, so I decide whether I want him in my life or not. I don’t want anyone telling me to break up with him. Some women are hypocrites shem, they will tell you to break up with your man, but yena she will be running back to her dead-beat boyfriend behind your back. You will be single and lonely, while other people are enjoying the fruits of persevering in their relationships. One thing I will never condone is a woman staying with an abusive man that is a no-no for me. If he raises his hand you need to leave him before he does it again. You don’t even need to discuss anything with him, just leave him. I’m lucky that Philani isn’t the abusive type and so I’m never going to experience abuse in my life.

The Apostle and I were also, I think we are developing a friendship or something.

Everyone close to me were fussing over me and giving me excessive attention, I loved that. I love being the centre of attention. Philani was showering me with expensive gifts and money. I hadn’t seen my clients for a few weeks, but Philani made sure that my bank balance was full. He was my ‘wallet doctor, the bank balance specialist’…… hahahahahaha I took that line from my favourite advert, I’m sure you guys know it.

I recovered very well and I was ready to face the world again. The first day I was ready to face the world was a Sunday so I went to church, my church not Philani’s church. Tsiamo was back, she said she wasn’t sure what was happening between her and Mlu. She called him every day, she didn’t stop regardless of all her attempts being rejected. I wonder what was wrong with this girl, she knew the truth but she continued to run after Mlu like a hungry dog.

When we arrived at church everyone was happy to see me, they were hugging me and the church grannies were kissing me… yuck! If there’s one thing I don’t like about church are the kisses that we get from the grannies.

Our Bab’Mfundisi opened the book of Hebrews 4 v 15 “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to feel sympathy for our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are – yet he did not sin.”

The core message of the day was very motivational. He told us that our high priest, Jesus, is with us in all our pain and everything we are faced with as His children. When we cry he understands where the tears are coming from, when we want to give up he understands. After the sermon I felt very strong spiritually, after weeks of feeling very dry. Just before the church service was done a deacon stood up and told us that Mlu has an announcement to make. Mlu stood up and took the mic.

Mlu: I greet you all in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. I would firstly like to thank my leaders for giving me the opportunity to speak. I want to apologise for the mistake I made by making Thando pregnant.

The whole church was shocked, this was breaking news to them. He waited for them to finish making noise, he then continued:

“I’m sorry for not rectifying my mistakes. Instead of fixing my problems, I went to create more and as a result of my foolishness I almost lost my baby and the woman I love. Thando please come forward.”

We watched Thando walk shyly to the front. When she arrived, he knelt down and proceeded:

“Thando I love you, I love you more and more every day. I want to wake up next to you every morning, I want to be with you for the rest of my life. Please allow me to make you my wife?”

Thando was so teary, in between her sobs, she said a big Yes.

He slipped the ring in her finger. We were all so happy for them, screaming in approval.

Then I saw Tsiamo running out of the church like a mad woman.

Damn I had forgotten about her!

10 thoughts on “Growing Up – Chapter 21

    1. Thank you. My thoughts as well. This girl is being emotionally abused and she’s playing dumb to realised it.

  1. Correct, cheating is playing with yo patner’s emotions, especially if & when yo partner knows & U just carry on.
    (Hence they say, ” If U cheat, don’t get caught!”). I’m not encouraging cheating tho!
    Emotional abuse right there similar to physical abuse, financial abuse, verbal abuse etc.

  2. Hlengiwe is blinded by love,dats y she thinks his man dznt abuse her,bt I knw wen all comes to end she will realise jst hw abused she has bin
    Tnx cc

  3. lmaoo @”it’s just that I’ve become used to sleeping with her”… This Philani dude though, LEGEND!!! And who are u Hlengy to judge Tshiamo when u just found out that ur man has been cheating for 2 years and yet u are still with him? u are more of a fool than she is.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *