The level of deception in my family was beyond mention. Our marriage had too many lies but show me a couple that has been married for as long as we have that does not have a secret and I will worship you. It’s easy to be on the outside and say how bad a couple we were or had become because at the moment you are either in a very good space in yours, or not even married at all! I have actually noticed that the people that criticize the most about other people’s marriages are the ones that ironically still have fantasies of what a marriage should be without actually ever being in one. I know right, never been married but have all the answers to what you should be doing in it with your husband. For a long time my husband and I had drifted and it was only this year that I realized how bad we had slipped. Again this is something which you can only learn with experience of being married that you neglect things for so long and one day you wake up to find the molehill had turned into a mountain. Both my husband and I had been keeping big secrets because once upon a time we stop talking, we stopped communicating yet we lived in the same house and slept in the same bed. Eish I had this loop on for this long for fear of having a baby now it turns out he had taken that option out for me. I don’t know why I was angry at his deception because I was guilty of the same thing even though truth be told mine was less invasive. Everyone knows though that if two people have a lie, the one who got caught first is guiltier than the other meaning in this case it was he. I had the right to shout and be angry.
“Love I was kidding geez calm yourself down!”, he said and he laughed. It was not funny at all. It was not funny! How could he make a joke like that after I had said I want a new baby? A vasectomy is reversible but there is labour and money involved in that.
“That was not funny Sizwe! Only you think you are funny!” I said pouting very annoyed.
“See what I mean when I say you have changed. Even joking with you is proving quite a chore!”, he said and he shook his head. Now I looked like the bad person for reacting the way I had but who would not have reacted this way too?
“I am sorry love but you took me by surprise. I mean to go all the way to getting it without telling me that was a very big thing!”, I said but he responded,
“It is yes but since when have you cared about babies. For years I have been asking for one then today when you decide you want one you rock up and demand to have a baby! What about me who has wanted this for this long?”
Ah there is never a good thing that I do by the sounds of it. Yes he is right, for years he wanted a baby and I had dodged that bullet like crazy but I was not ready then and I was ready now. At the time when this was discussed it was always after he had a few drinks or just before sex were he would say,
“How about we have a baby?”
I would say, “Sure lets!”, knowing I had my loop. Yes people, most married couples have sex without a condom so don’t be filled with righteous indignation because one day you will get married too! What he had not known was that I was blocking his little soldiers shem, poor guy. The barrier was off now.
“I think we have been trying for many years now it’s not possible!”, he said giving up. Had I made him think that he could not produce babies? It felt like so the way he looked down. He was not happy at all. The man’s a fool though; he had three daughters, no sons, and still thought he could still not produce. Some people are slow.
“What if it’s a boy?” I asked him. Every man wants a boy. Most men will tell you straight up that boy children are cheaper and have much fewer needs. They also don’t go crazy in their teen years but most importantly, every father needs to bond with a son. A daughter is a trickier prospect but as women that’s our first option. We really are wired differently.
“Yes what if? But love come on, we too old to start trying for a baby and besides things are already in motion that could stop that!”, He said. I think he was about to move the topic to the divorce side and definitely I was not about to go there.
“Oh stop moaning about it love. I have to go back now, time is not on my side!”, I said preventing him from talking further even though I knew at work all my work was done. Most doctors finish their rounds by 10am and paperwork by noon meaning we are free all day if we don’t have surgery. Because of few surgical theatres in most hospitals most of us getting into surgery once a week, twice if we’re lucky. Moreover we can sell our hours to each other as well as go work in our friend’s practices for extra money. As a paed my services are in demand so I get to charge a lot when I do it for other doctors, but my husband never liked that saying it was now taking away time from raising Lintle. See, I was entirely a wife that did not listen.
“I am going to Pretoria! I have a few things to take care of so we will talk properly in the evening!”, he said as he dropped me off. That was good for me as I my plan was to go shopping for lingerie. I can’t remember the last time I had bought sexy lingerie for my hubby’s pleasure. I think marriage turns you into a feminist in that you don’t see the need to look sexy anymore as truth be told it’s not like he is going to the gym to get a six pack for you. I am just being honest and realistic here.
“I am going to Sandton I need to get a few things!”, I told Zethu as I was packing. She had not really been talking to me ever since the incident with my father at the house. I am not sure why though but will find out later just not today. When I got there I realized why I never go to Sandton City, this place makes you feel poor and insignificant. It was not that full at least which meant I could take my time. I hate shopping. I am not that woman who can take hours looking at clothes am not even going to buy. I remembered that LaSenza was close to the Wimpy so that was my first destination.
Shopping for lingerie is not the easiest thing to do especially for a woman my age. They want us to wear parachutes that’s why they dress their mannequins in ridiculously tiny things to discourage us from entering these shops. When I walked in I went straight for the one on the main mannequin display and the confusion ah. The sizes on the panties have no correlation to pants, or dress sizes or any other aspect of reality and as the shop attendant was telling me, to make it more confusing they vary from manufacturer to manufacturer! I wanted to laugh, how could I not know my own size! Yah neh! Fortunately the girl asked me a few question and estimated my size then we were done. One set of lingerie set me back r1100 like wtf! Yes I swore! This is crazy. Nah am sticking to Mr Price! Speaking of Mr Price, I need gym clothes. I had decided to join the gym. I was not fat but I needed to tone up. With a baby planned I could not leave this to chance. I don’t know where the hours went but a couple of hours later, r15000 gone I walked to my car. Sizwe was going to kill me for splurging like this! Eh, I got carried away and I was pretty exhausted.
When I got home Sizwe was sitting in the sitting room reading the papers. I could see he had just eaten too as his plate was next to him. I took it to the kitchen.
“How was your day my love?”, I asked him of and he mumbled something back.
From the car I had only taken out the lingerie bag as well as the one from The Body Shop and left everything else in the car, to avoid an argument about the million others in the car. He did not seem to be in the best of moods meaning something probably happened in Pretoria.
“Mapula, I left some bags in the car. Can you take them out and go via the back so that he does not see them. You will pack the things in the morning!”, I told her in the kitchen and she laughed. I think most women know how to sneak things into the house without being detected. Men want their women to look good yet don’t want us to shop! Sigh!
“Baby please come wash my back…”, I asked him when I got to the table where he was sitting.
“Not now love!”, he said almost impatiently. I went upstairs and ran myself a bath. All the sweating from the walking in the mall had to be cleansed somehow. The oil from the body shop had amazing scents which just relaxed me to no end. I realized that I had not seen Lintle when I walked in.
I put on my sexy new lingerie for my man and went and lay on the bed. When you are dressed sexy, you feel sexy and when you feel sexy, you get horny so quickly and I was horny right about now.
Where was this man? He must come take his wife! Eventually I heard him come upstairs. He was on the phone so I knew it was him. He opened the door, entered and locked it behind him. Mmmmm did he know that he was going to get some because he never locks the door.
I stood up in a sexy pose and waited for him to turn and look at me.When he turned I dropped my night gown to reveal a sexy as hell faun lingerie complete with high heels!
“Baby,”, he said looking at me with what I thought were lust filled eyes, “I just got a phone call, my brother just died!”
O shit! My first thought was not even his brother but his mother!
Even in the death of someone else, the bitch had to fuck up my life! I hated that woman and she hated me and as a makoti it meant this funeral will be hell!
“I am so sorry baby!”
I said and went up to hug him.
So much for the lingerie in which I was freezing my ass off.
***** The End*****
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)
Thank you for the stories.
I am 23 and pregnant. My boyfriend is 25 and has proposed to marry me. Unfortunately the baby is not his as I was cheating with someone else at the time that much I am certain of. The person and I broke it off. My fiance does not know this obviously and now I have the option to pass the baby off as his or confess and be dumped.