Growing Up Relevant

Growing Up – Chapter Eleven

Morning friends. We will not be posting Realities or Rumblings for the duration of the week. We would like to give Growing Up Relevant a fair run on its own before it returns to its original Sunday slot. We hope you enjoy it.


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Guys are good players, I don’t know if it’s because we allow them or we are just ignorant. How can a guy date two girls in the same church at the same time? I think the problem is with us women sometimes, we allow guys to play us. How you ask, well guys like to say they want a relationship to be a secret and you shouldn’t let anyone at church know about your relationship. When you ask him why, he will tell you that he doesn’t want people to be involved. I’m all for maintaining privacy in your relationship, but having a secret relationship? Hai that’s not on, the guy probably has another girlfriend in the church and he’s keeping that relationship a secret as well.

I have first-hand experience when it comes to this. There was a guy at church, his name is Menzi, who asked me out when I was just a new member. He told me that I should keep the relationship a secret, we maintained the secret for a few months because I was new at the church and I didn’t have any friends. I became an active member and I built friendships with some of the girls. One night when we were having a sleepover at one of the girl’s house, we took turns to talk about our secrets and I told them mine. I stood up proudly and said: “I have been dating Menzi for 4 Months now.”

They were all shocked and it came to my knowledge that he was dating our then worship leader, who was a few years older than me. I thought it was best that I ended the relationship, which I did. The lady found out about the relationship and made my life a misery in the worship team, this lasted until she found a new man. So I think we should never allow ourselves to be in secret relationships.

After seeing these two kiss, I was really angry at Mlu, so I went back to the kitchen.

Me: “Today I went to Mam’fundisi’s house and I drove back with Thandiwe. She told me something very interesting, and it will shock you.”

Sihle: “Everything Thandiwe says shocks me, I think she also shocks herself at times.”
She was laughing while she said this.

Me: “Hahaha ey Thandiwe is crazy vele. But this will really shock you. She told me that Mlu is the father of Thando’s baby.”

Sihle: “WHAT???”

Her shock was evident

Me: “I was shocked nami. So I don’t know what to do, should I tell Sihle and Thando or just confront Mlu. I never expected this from him.”

Sihle: “Dammit he is playing them ne, and he thought we would never find out. He messed with the wrong girls, we must sort this out before Thando and Thandiwe find out. We both know how dramatic Thandiwe is, she will think we all planned to hurt her sister then she will get her boyfriends to kill us.”

I laughed because she was the one who being dramatic now. Yes, we all know that Thandiwe does outrageous things at times but she wasn’t that bad.

Sihle: “You are laughing? You won’t be laughing when you are begging her to spare you life.” She also laughed when she heard how ridiculous she sounded.

Me: “She will be angry but she won’t kill us. What should we do to fix this?”

Sihle: “Let’s confront Mlu right now.”

Me: “No I don’t want him to think we are nosey friends.”

Sihle: “Nosey friends? Mxm Hlengy you can’t be serious. If we don’t fix this, we will create enemies for ourselves and we don’t need that especially at church.”

After saying this she dragged me to the lounge, I sat down and she stood up.

Me: “Hi guys.”

They both greeted back, these two were clearly smitten or that’s how it seemed to us. Tshiamo looked very happy and pleased with herself for dating a ‘godly-man’. She has always maintained that she will never date a non-believer or a church-goer, she wanted to date a real Christian. She was adamant of the fact that she was meant to marry a guy that was doing something in the house of the Lord, whether it was a preacher or musician or usher, it mattered not.

Sihle: “Mlu, stop smiling at us, we aren’t here to have a great chat with you. You have some explaining to do, you think you are smart. News flash brother you are stupid!”

The unsuspecting Mlu was shocked, he clearly didn’t have an idea what she was talking about. The smile on Tshiamo’s face faded and she came to her man’s defense.

Tshiamo: “No Sihle, you will not talk to my man like his one of your boyfriend’s drunkard friends.”

Sihle: “Well sisi before you become too comfortable in that relationship and assume the position of being Mlu’s madam, you must know that you are sharing your precious Mlu with Thando. No actually you aren’t sharing him, you are his side dish while he waits for his real woman to give birth. Did I get it right Mlu? You are playing the poor and vulnerable Thando with Tshiamo?”

Okay that was a bit harsh, I looked at Mlu and I could see that he was nervous and was trying to think of something to say fast.

Mlu: “I don’t what you are talking about?”

Sihle: “Oh you don’t know? So I’m making up this whole story? Maybe I should call Thando or Thandiwe and ask them to remind you how you have been dating Thando and made her pregnant.”

Tshiamo: “Baby is this true? Where did you hear this Sihle?”

You could hear the disappointment in her voice.

Me: “I was with Thandiwe today, and she told me that Thando and Mlu are dating and he is the father of the baby.”

Mlu: “Baby it’s a misunderstanding. Give me a chance to explain, guys please give us some privacy.”

Sihle: “Privacy in our house? You must be out of your mind, you want to lie and confuse Tshiamo. Asiyi ndawo buti (we aren’t going anywhere).”

Tshiamo looked at us and said it is fine we can leave, that she wants to hear what he has to say. I trusted Tshiamo to be a strong woman and I knew that she would break up with him, and show him that we women aren’t as divided as we are portrayed to be. I believed that after breaking up with him, she would call Thando and tell her what happened. I knew that she would protect Thando, as Thando is already going through so much. I knew that she wouldn’t allow Mlu to lie to her and say he has broken up with Thando, I knew she wouldn’t give him the power to believe that he can play women like a ball. Tshiamo is a young woman rooted in God’s word, so she was going to show him the error of his ways and let him go. The Tshiamo I know doesn’t take shit from anyone, so I am confident when I say Mlu will learn to never cross girls again.

Sihle: “Hlengy did you see how nervous he was? He was shocked that we found out.”

Me: “I don’t like the way you spoke, it was unnecessary.”

Sihle: “You wanted me to speak to him like I was reading a romantic poem? Never! I wasn’t even that harsh, why do you even care because this guy is a moron.”

Me: “I don’t care about him, but I do care about Tshiamo and her feelings. You were supposed to ask him in a more polite manner for Tshiamo’s sake.”

Sihle: “I’m sorry but I was angry.”

Tshiamo and Mlu took spoke for about 30 minutes, I was interested in what he had to say but I knew Tshiamo would put him in his place. They walked out of the lounge hand-in hand. I first thought my eyes were deceiving me because it was not possible for them to be walking out hand-in hand. They stood next to the fridge and made a shocking revelation.

Tshiamo: “Guys as much as you are my friends, I would really appreciate it if you would stay out of my business. Not that we owe you guys an explanation, but Mlu never dated Thando. I knew a lot of girls would be jealous of my relationship with Mlu, but I didn’t expect this from you guys.”

Heeeee! I was shocked. We were jealous? Why would we be jealous of their relationship? Fact is both Sihle and I were in great relationships and we were with successful men. Mlu couldn’t even compare to our men.

Me: “We aren’t jealous nana, we felt it was fair that we told you what Thandiwe told me.” ‘

Mlu: “Thandiwe fabricated this story, I have never dated Thando. They probably found out that I’m dating Tshiamo and they want to break us up”

Sihle: “Oh wow Mlu, please enlighten me, why would they want to break you guys up?”

Mlu: “I don’t know, maybe Thando had a crush on me.”

Sihle: “That is stupid. You are stupid and wena Tshiamo you are very foolish for believing this story. Why don’t you ask Thando ke, so that you can be sure.”

Tshiamo: “I don’t have to do that. I trust my man and his word is more than enough. You guys can’t fathom the fact that I’m in a happy relationship. You guys are so used to being the ones in happy relationships, now that it’s my time, you want to mess it up. Well Mlu is here to stay, so you guys need to deal with that.”

With that said, they walked out hand-in hand. As they walked out Sihle shouted “Voetsek maan!”

I was really stunned, I didn’t think Tshiamo could be this gullible. How can she believe such a stupid story, even a teenager would know that this is a fabricated story. Now I was wondering why Tshiamo believed his story. Was she really stupid or she was afraid of being single again? Was she that desperate to be loved and feel like she belonged to someone, and someone belonged to her. This to me seemed like a desperate cry for help. I know she has been single for a while now, and all her previous relationships were never really what we consider ‘serious relationships’. Most of them lasted 3-4 Months, so she probably felt like she wasn’t worthy of love. She was desperate to be loved and she didn’t want anyone to take that away from her.

Sihle and I ate our supper while we spoke about what happened, later we went to our rooms. As usual I went through Facebook and I saw that Tshiamo updated her status, it read : “God thank you for blessing me with my man, please protect us from enemies who want to destroy us. Most importantly protect us from enemies that pretend to be my best friends. I pray in your mighty name, amen.”

Firstly does God answer prayers written on Facebook? Secondly why do people take their anger to Facebook? First it was Philani, now it was Tshiamo. I’m definitely not going to entertain her drama.

20 thoughts on “Growing Up – Chapter Eleven

  1. hee ladies are unbelievable imagine Tshiamo… she is more naïve than I thought most Christian man are cheaters more than those who doesn’t know any truth about God

  2. They do sat love is blind…. Church guys are dangerous because girls go in with the mentality that it’s a safe environment and let their guard down.

    Thanks Khanyi.
    It would be nice to have a QnA relevant to the storyline.

  3. Hi Kanyi, ur doing a good job nana. Here is my 2 cents, ur chapters dnt end in interesting hooks. If u want to hook me/ us ur chapters’ endings must leave me with a lotta questions. Ur writing style is different and we cn tell u r not Mike n dats wat makes u perfect. Dnt be like Mike or Thozama (even dou we love them) stick to ur dialogue n eventually sizoku jwayela

  4. Lol…I will never understand it either….why air you dirty laundry on Facebook….shouldn’t facebook be just for fun?! #Claps

  5. Hello There, firstly people do not attack me I am just offering sound advice to the writer here. Lovey your storyline is good and it will go far, BUT at the rate you going you will lose a huge fan base. If I may just add, let your stories end with a hook, the climax that lets everyone say “Damn it is Thursday, Monday is too far”. Eg, this episode could have ended something like” After reading that Facebook post I realized my friend was totally brainwashed by this man and I had to be impulsive for once and intervene before she got in too deep, hopefully one day, not too soon obviously, she will forgive me. I grabbed my phone to call Thando and then Thandiwe, because the other latter will definitely put Mlu in his place”

    Tada hook ending, you have me and everyone thinking “Damn Thandiwe is going to fight for her sister now”

  6. Nna I wud hv commented bk by saying ‘u mean mlu father to b,or sum1 I dnt knw?’jst to spite her for being stupid
    Tnx girl

  7. I felt that the chapter was rather short & yes we need those hooking endings so that we also stay & others become hooked on GUR.

  8. Just started reading this book and I can’t even sleep, its really great and funny too. I enjoy your writing style….good work

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