Growing Up Relevant

Growing Up – Chapter 1

  • Hey ladies and gents… we have a new member to our family. Her name is Khanyi Sibande and she will post every Sunday, two chapters. Please support her and welcome her to our fold because I am sure you all know, GROWING UP is a curse lol


We walked into the church and as in every other church we were welcomed by the ushers. One of the ushers, a young lady, came to hug Philani. I immediately felt out of place and annoyed because I could see that there was more to the hug than met the eye. I’ve always been wary of girls who throw themselves at my man. Yes, I’m a Christian but I will destroy any girl that tries to steal my Philani. We have been together for a while now so hell yeah I would fight for him. After the long and inappropriate hug, she let go.

Girl: “Hey brother Philani, it’s always good to see you.” All this time she pretended to not see that I was there. I was a first time visitor at this church so you can imagine how I felt. When you visit a church, you expect them (the ushers) to welcome you in a proper manner, they shouldn’t focus on the already existing members of the church.

Philani : “Hey Lerato”. So her name is Lerato, I don’t like her already. No offence to anyone but am I the only one who notices that most Lerato’s love men? I don’t know if it’s in the name or they just choose to behave like this.

I cleared my throat to get their attention.

Philani: “Lerato this is Hlengiwe my…”

Me : “Girlfriend! I’m his girlfriend, but you can call me Hlengy.” I held on to his hand to emphasise the fact that I’m his girlfriend, she better recognise who the madam is nxa.

Lerato : “ Oh I thought…”

Me : “ You thought?” I put on my intimidating face, which includes raising my one eye brow and I folded my arms.

Lerato: “ Nothing, nice to meet you Hlengy. I hope you will enjoy fellowshipping with us.

Me : “ Nice to meet you too. I will surely enjoy sweety.”


The service began and… oh wait, you guys don’t know me because I haven’t introduced myself. I’m Hlengiwe Zulu, a 22-year-old small business owner. I run a mobile salon, which I set up with the help of my sister. I have been running my mobile salon successfully for 2 years now. I don’t have a diploma or degree, I’ve always had a passion for beauty, so I worked at a beauty spa for a year and attended some workshops so that is where I received my experience. The only close family I have is my big sister Thenjiwe, who happens to be married to a very wealthy business man.

I don’t have parents, I’ve never met my dad. He didn’t run away or die, my mom just didn’t know who the father was when she was pregnant, I guess that says alot about her character – she was a very busy woman. My mom unfortunately passed away when I was 17, she was murdered and I believe it’s partly her fault. She was an okay mom, I say an okay mom because she made sure that we had all our needs and wants met, before and after she died. Although she gave us money and things, my mother never had time for us, she didn’t have a problem disappearing for two weeks forgetting that she had children.

So as far as I can remember my sister had to wake me up and get me ready for school every morning and she made sure I had food afterschool and had dinner. Although my mom’s death was hard to deal with, we quickly continued with our lives because she was never really part of it and we were so used to being alone. My mother’s death turned my sister into a bit of a promiscuous girl, and I on the other hand turned to God for comfort. Luckily she left us a lump sum of money, so we never went without.

Philani, my man, and I have been together for 3 years now. My sister and I have a thing for old men, my aunt says we have daddy issues. What the hell is that? Daddy issues for who? We aren’t white people, we just prefer older men. Philani is 34, my sister’s husband is 38, while she is 25. My Philani and I are both Christians, not church goers but Christians. The kind of Christian who has a personal relationship with God, so you wouldn’t tell me to eat a snake because I have the spirit of discernment.

Back to the church, the worship team was busy making noise, aaargh I can do a way better job. I’m a great singer and a worship leader at my church. The worship leader here has medium skills and zero anointing. Say what you want to say but if you are a true Christian you can feel whether a person has anointing or not, it’s like God installs an annointemeter in us. So I didn’t understand why that whole congregation was acting like the Holy Spirit had taken over because I couldn’t feel anything. The whole worship team was a mess, they had no vocal control. I was really missing my church now. Philani must have lost his mind if he thought I was going to be part of this church.

MC: “ Let us all stand up and welcome the man of God Apostle Zungu as he will deliver the Word of God to us.”

I didn’t pay much attention to him until until we sat down. Yoh, the Pastor was a ball of fire, he was Hott. My Philani was super hot ne but Mr Apostle here was super duper extra hot hot hot fine.

Apostle: “I greet you all in the name of Jesus Christ. Greet the person seated next to you and tell them that Jesus loves them.” The pastor was well spoken, his voice and presence commanded respect. As he was preaching a lot of sisters were screaming AMEN HALLELUYAH!!!! I don’t blame them though, he was single, he didn’t have a ring on his finger, and he was hot.

After preaching he asked all the visitors to stand up, there were only two visitors, some guy and myself. The pastor and some church elders came to hug me, there was something about the pastors hug, maybe it was just the anointing. They gave us visitor cards to fill in and church was dismissed. I went to sit in the car while Philani was busy mingling, but I noticed that he was talking to Lerato more than anyone else.

He came back and we drove to his parents’ home, they invited us for Sunday lunch.

Philani: “ Sorry for taking long baby. I hope you aren’t angry.”

Me: “ It’s okay Philani, I’m fine.” I was actually irritated because he had been busy with that Lerato.

Philani : “I hope you really fine. Did you enjoy the church service?”

Me: “Yeah, it was fine. I enjoyed your Pastor’s sermon, there is something about him.”

Philani: “Ya ne the Man of God oozes anointing, you can never go wrong with him.”

Me: “I see, so is he married?”

Philani: “ No, he isn’t. He is divorced, apparently his wife cheated on him and dumped him for the new man.”

Me: “Shame, that’s sad. How long have you and Lerato been friends?”

Philani: “It has been a while now, we’ve been friends since I joined the church, it’s probably been 5 years now.”

Me: “So you guys are close ne?”

Philani: “ Yeah”

So they have been friends for so long and I didn’t know about her. I know all of Philani’s friends, so I didn’t understand why I didn’t know this particular one. This ‘friendship’ of theirs had to end! I will make sure of it. I don’t have any guys I would consider my friends, the guys I know are just guys and nothing more. So I will not allow my man to have a friend of the opposite sex, if he wants a female friend, he will just have to settle with me.

Me: “I find it very weird that you have a friend that happens to be a girl and I don’t know her, you have never even mentioned her. You have been friends for a while now, I think by now I’m supposed to know her.”

Philani: “I don’t like where this is going but the truth is you will not know everyone that I know so just deal with it.”

Me: “Just deal with it? I want this friendship to end. I ended my friendship with my long time guy friend for your sake, mara wena you telling to deal with it? Hai Philani it doesn’t work like that”

Philani: “You took the decision to break your friendships, I didn’t ask you to do that. So you won’t make me lose a good friend just because you don’t like her. I’m not even going to discuss this any further.”

I can’t believe that he dismissed me like that. I didn’t stop discussing it though, I always spoke up when I had concerns, so he was definitely not going to get away with this by simply dismissing me as though I’m his child.

Me: “Yazini Philani, take me home. I don’t want to have lunch with your family anymore.” He swerved to the side of the road and told me to get out and take a taxi. I sat there and browsed through my phone, he thinks I’m mad mina ne, walking out of the car?

Philani: “Phuma phela sisi.”

After a while he drove off to his parents’ house. We kept quiet the rest of the journey until we arrived. Philani’s family was very nice, they all adored me, but I don’t blame them; you would love me too if you knew me. I’m very beautiful, smart, I love God… I’m just an amazeball of awesomeness! He had 2 sisters and 1 brother. Their father passed away, they only had their mother left.

We went inside the house, you could sense the tension between me and Philani, because we normally walked holding hands but not today. I went to sit in the kitchen with my mamazala, skoni’s and the other makothi. Philani went to sit with his brother and brother in-law. All of Philani’s siblings were married, he was the only single one. His mother often nagged him to marry me, but he didn’t seem to care. I helped with the cooking, they were cooking a standard Sunday kos. Philani came to the kitchen to ask me about something but I just ignored him, I wanted his mother to see how angry I was. He went back to the men, his mother asked me if I was fine and I just burst into tears and cried. These were crocodile tears. Philani’s mother always knew how to sort Philani out.

Mrs Mazibuko (mamazala): “Haw my child what’s wrong? What did Philani do to you?” I continued with my crying.

Mrs Mazibuko: “Yey wena Philanienkosini Joseph Mazibuko come here right now!!

You should’ve seen the way Philani came running. This man was really terrified of his mom! I don’t know if that was a good or bad thing.

35 thoughts on “Growing Up – Chapter 1

  1. Thank you Mr Maphuto, what a way to end my my weekend. So is this going to be a new book or what’s the story here? Whatever it is I hope it’s not a teaser.

  2. Mikie, Mikie, Mikie! U’ve outdone yoself.
    Yo creativity never seizes to amaze me.
    Well done on yo new book. Happy, happy, happy.
    I think its excellent example that as a nation, we shudn’t all be looking for employment but rather CREATE employment in our own ways. Big ups to Enterprenuers like yoself!

  3. Wow! You guys r taking good care of us. Thank you sister for a great read, I.m a Christian myself and looking forward to this new book! Thank you Mike for the new lady on your team!

  4. I’m impressed with your work,not really taken yet…somehow predictable Hlengy and the Pastor mmmmm the Christianity will fade I c something…
    I love your work and am looking forward to read more on Sunday.

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