Realities – Chapter Fifty Five

This is what you get for allowing your daughter to set you up. I could never have foreseen it because I genuinely believed that we were going out with her father. With the way I was all dressed up it now seemed as though I had done it for another man. As I sat there I was stunned. Why would my daughter have set me up on a date with the man married to the woman I suspected was sleeping with my husband? Now here she was walking and heading straight for me. I tried to stand up, perhaps to run, I am not sure but I tried. He asked me to sit down politely of which the shock already in me left me powerless. I just sank into my chair. She stopped and greeted someone and again all that did was emphasize that this was her home ground and I stood no chance here. Just when I thought all hope was lost, Sizwe walked in. I have never been so happy to see that man in my life but then again this only led to the confusion.

“I was still parking,”

He said as he got to the table. They had not come together as she seemingly had been coming from the bathroom. Did this mean that they had both invited us here? This was weird.

“Hi! Sorry about yesterday!”

She said apologizing to me as though she was the one who had wronged me when it was very much the other way round.

“I… I thought you were going to be out of town today?”

I asked. Is that not what she had said yesterday or rather he had said!

“Yes she was supposed to have left but I slept at their house yesterday so it made sense that they postpone their trip… yes I said they!”

He said. I was rather confused at this stage. Why could they not have just called me though? It would have worked much simpler than this.

“My wife wanted to explain to you that there is no affair taking place. She works like this all the time with husbands trying to surprise their wives and because we have known you long enough I figured it’s best we all have dinner to clear the air!”

Her husband said. He sounded very authoritative, the kind of man who ran his house with an iron fist. Tjo shem, that would never work in my house.

“You could have told me though, I would have believed you!”

I told my husband who responded by saying that he did not believe that I would have believed him in any case. No one wants to be made to look like they are the unreasonable one especially in a marriage. It is exactly what my husband was doing at this moment. He was making me look like. I was the bad spouse in front of people and putting me in situations that he knew I would react negatively towards.

“I am sorry my dear, you used to love surprises but lately all surprises seem to be on me!”

He said and he was lying. I hate surprises and he knows it but at this moment I had to grin it a bear it. I hate complicated and that is where we were right now, we had no synergy in our marriage. We needed to start working together to bring that spark back.

“What would you like to eat Dr Makgofa? Dinner is on us!”

He said again. I had never been to this restaurant before but before the night was over I had eaten to my heart’s content and the wine had loosened the tension. All in all I had a super time. In that time I learned that Samantha was actually a nice woman who to be fair I had misjudged simply because she was beautiful and always had those expensive weaves. A lot of people do that to people with weaves and so on; we judge them by their looks and from a distance even if we have not spent time with them yet.

“I think you guys must decide on a date… together this time! You can’t keep on putting it off! All these secrets make you fight unnecessarily. My husband and I are a team. We do everything together this way it limits the confusion!”

She said. I found that rather condescending because she was now saying her marriage was better than mine, something which no woman wants to here unless she is concluding that for herself.

“My husband and I are just fine. Maybe you should convince him that we need to see a marriage counsellor and we will stop having so many arguments.”

I told taking a gulp of my wine. Was this an intervention? Worse, was he using strangers to intervene! Oh the embarrassment and shame of this moment. I take it all back what I said about her being nice. She was not nice!

“We need people to talk to Nothabo. I figured if it was people we do not talk to every day it will make it simpler for you?”

He explained!

“Why would it make it simpler?”

I asked him.

“Because you know who you are Nothabo. You won’t be able to look them in the face anymore and we will lose more friends from the very small pool that we have!”

He said. It’s true, we did not have many friends and also right that I would not want them knowing our business.

“Why do you act like it’s a burden to want to fix our relationship? For once put pride out of the way and let us fix this. We are in trouble and all this back and forth is not helping us!”

My husband sounding annoyed at me. I don’t get why. Who does this though? I can’t open up to a stranger and at this moment I am not even sure what it is I was opening to and for!

“You don’t have to talk to us. It’s not our place. We were only trying to help that’s all. I am sorry if it seemed intrusive. Let’s not talk about this anymore please!”

The husband said finally putting me out of my misery. My husband was right, we had to talk but not like this.

“Let’s drink and have fun. You guys are on holiday right so be on holiday!”

Politicians like showing off and soon we were having bottles of whisky I hate whisky but I drank like I was a student UJ. It was fun getting drunk and much as I kept up my water intake I just got more and more drunk.

I don’t know what happened and how I got back to the hotel room. My husband and I started kissing that much I remember then I think I threw up. The rest I can’t remember. In the morning when I walk up I had the worst hangover. I could not even remember whether I had fun or not because of it. He got me medicine and said I should stay in bed which was always my plan anyway. I asked him where my phone was and he said that it was probably in my bag. I had a slight panic. Your partner tends to go through your phone when you are drunk and passed out. I was not sure if that stupid man had sent me another message but now I was certain that it was either my job or my marriage. Maybe I should go into private practice and things would be better.

Lesedi called me and asked me to come to her place because Mthobisi had been hurt. I told her that she must take him to the hospital and she gave me a steadfast no. I told her where I was and initially she did not believe me and I actually had to call her with the hotel Landline for her to see I was telling the truth. She said she would make another plan if that was the case. Those people are dangerous; I need to totally block them out of my life before they get me killed but how.

“How was last night mommy?”

My daughter said when she entered my room. The little devil had been part of the conspiracy with her father. That’s the thing with kids, three days ago I had beaten her up after finding her in bed with her boyfriend and here we were, all my anger towards her was gone and I just wanted her to hug her. She had helped to possibly save our marriage.

“It was ok but I think I drank too much. What did you do last night?”

I asked her.

“I went to Florida Road. Some friends came to pick me up but I was home quite early!”

She said. Wait a minute? Florida Road is where I had not wanted her to go and how did she already have friends here.

“Friends?” Where do you know them from?”

I asked her.

“Some Nigerian guys!” I met them yesterday when I met you at the salon. Don’t worry mum nothing happened and they did not even try to touch me!”

She said so casually I sobered up! Even the hangover was gone!

“Lintle, you went out at night with two foreign guys you met that day, in a town you are not from and you do not see a problem with that?”

I asked her incredulously! Was this child serious and no it’s not about them being foreign, but two guys she did not even know!

“It was no big deal mommy. There were two other older girls there too and I was the first to be dropped off! Today we are doing the beach!”

She said. She said. I was about to answer when my phone ring. I don’t know what it is about my phone. I have realised that every time I put it down, when I pick it up again it always seems to be my bringer of bad news. I should just switch it off.

It rang and the number was private. It was Mapula the nanny.

“The police were here just now. They were looking for papa and I think they had come to arrest him!”

She said. I could still hear the fear in her voice. I was very confused at this stage but I knew who to call, or rather who was behind it! That lawyer, Mxolisi!

I called him.

“Why are you getting my husband arrested? He had nothing to do with Joseph’s murder and you know it!”

I said as soon as he picked up. For a moment there he seemed confused!

“No maam, it was not me! If anything, for Joseph’s murder we are looking at you!”

He said and he hung up!

Why was he being arrested then?

Wait, did he just reveal that I was still a murder suspect?

What the hell!

*****The End******

Michael Nkululeko Maphoto

Dear Mike

I’m a 22 year old girl, and my problem is I keep on attracting guys that are just looking to have fun or a side chick.
The last time I was in a proper relationship was when I was about 13 (and I doubt that even counts as I was so young and foolish).
I don’t understand what the problem is, yes I’m not that beautiful but I try, I’ve got a nice body and I dress pretty well too. But it seems like the only people I attract are either not my type, extremely old, or are just looking for sex. I’ve been a side chick more times than I’ve actually been in a relationship. Like I honestly don’t understand, feels like I’ve got “side chick material” stamped on my forehead, like I’m just a play thing and not worthy to be loved.
Most of my friends are in serious relationships and I envy them so much, I’ve prayed to God countless times, but nothing changes.
Is it me? I’m a very loud, bubbly, outgoing person, maybe my personality makes men think I just want to have fun all day.
Has anyone experienced this? It’s so depressing….. I don’t want to be 30 with 3 kids……. and still a side chick.

Chronic Side Chick

26 thoughts on “Realities – Chapter Fifty Five

  1. Dear Chronic Side Chick

    I feel your pain.. I ended a relationship with a guy that loved me dearly earlier this year because I just felt like I’m wasting his time, I just wasn’t attracted to him so I felt like I was settling. Some time after that I found what I thought was the perfect guy for me.. but he doesn’t treat me as well, I recently found out he’s still seeing a female he said was his ex, and he’s claiming its a business transaction and asked me to give him time and he will stop seeing her once its concluded.. as I sit here, im shattered, I dont know if I should stay or go.
    The problem with us women is we tend to love people who dont love us, we’re attracted to danger, but one thing I absolutely will not do is settle.. I’d rather be single, and perhaps that’s what you should do. Take time and do some introspection, love yourself enough to not tolerate guys who do not recognise your worth. That’s what I plan to do… as soon as I find the strength to walk away from this mess I’m in.

    1. try a different approach! like maybe going for someone you wouldn’t normally go for… that is not to say that you should lower your standards but merely being more realistic in your choice of men… besides you are still very much on the market, given your age, so explore other avenues.. m just saying! drop me an email and I might hook you up.

    2. Loving yo self and putting yo self is the best gift u can give to u.don’t allow men to do that u allowing them be in control of your life not omunye umuntu keep yo self busy , study help other’s in need , plant a garden watch things grow from your hands ,cook different food , bake I’m sure u will find your talent and I’m sure it doesn’t involve u being a side chick , me masondo

  2. Chronic Side Chick…I cant help ut laugh at your letter…not what you say but how you saying it.
    You really are bubbly 🙂

    Just take some time out my angel , there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you… After I had been a side chick for about 3 occassions, attracting old men. I decided to stay single for about 2 years…til I met my boyfriend…whom I was friends with first then decided to date after a year of knowing him.

    Try a different approach to a relationship….Do that whole 3 month trial without giving him the cookie… Get to know a person first before you give in and give him everything…men like it when they have to chase a girl..its thrilling for them..but if you a yes a kind chick then they think you easy and not take you seriously…..

    I hope you find what you looking for. All the best nana.


    1. Thanks so much….lol now your making me laugh at myself PillzBerry. I think that’s what I need, time out, I’ve been so afraid of being alone that I’d rather settle for being a side chick…which is ironic cause your still alone when being a side chick, and only get attention once a week. But thank you for your advice I really appreciate it.
      And you just made me realise that I am a “yes kind of girl”…that needs to stop. Thank you

      1. Lol…you welcome love…Dont be afraid of your own company….do you…make yourself feel special and you will see people will give you the same kind of treatment, that you give yourself.

        There’s loneliness and being alone….and being alone is not a bad thing…you are 22 years…you still young. You need to enjoy life my angel…embrace the “freedom” you have…spend time with yourself…it will give you a better perception of what you want and what you wish for and work towards your life goals…..You are a bubbly person..go out with your friends.
        There is so much to life than relationships and babies and marriage hey….

        Its good tomlaugh at yourself sometimes, lol it makes you human and not perfect…We all have flaws love….so yes…STOP SAYING YES all the damn time lol…sa no sometimes even if though you wanna say yes….just so you can be begged, lol.

  3. QnA What you portray about yourself to the world is what you attract. Girls today do not want to be told the truth coming from a man it is called sexist. I am a guy and I have noticed that the bubbly ones are the easiest to convince to be a side chick. The ones that you impress with money also don’t give a fuck who is the other woman. If she keeps complimenting what you drive it’s also a sure thing that you can have others on the side. If from day one you show you are serious and focused the most he can do is cheat on you. You said you have been a side chick a few times already knowingly yet you act surprised? It’s not your destiny but what you have allowed men to reduce you to…

      1. People cheat because of opportunity and girls give us plenty of those . As a guy for example I have noticed that when I go out, if I say I am single in won’t get lucky but if I give some sad story about my gf not wanting to come out with me girls want to talk to me. I am the safe option because to them I am taken meaning I have something going for me. I am not an automatic fuck boy because girls feel cheated when they end up with one of those little shits. As to your question, I dated one girl who showed me flames lol..m what ever I did she would do too until I reached a point where I was a good boy and would only go out when she was coming. She had a policy, if I said am going out with my friends she would call up her friends too and they would go out. In my head whatever I was doing she was doing too and that traumatised me. Listen to that song “if I was a boy” and you will learn to out him into your shoes and show him you are as good in his own game if not better

        1. I have always mantained to my friends that guys will always cheat because there is always someone to cheat with him…then we turn around and call guys dogs ncncnc…sad reality really.

          I have a life i mantain outside my relationship….my friends are MY friends and his are his…that keeps him on his toes.
          I dont depend on him or give him the impression he is the center of my world and I cant breathe without him…NO…but on the same breathe, he doesnt doubt my love for him nor does it make him think Im cheating.

      1. Because cheating is fun and forbidden especially if she knows she is just there for being a side. She has no where to complain if there is no relationship and can go get comforted by her boyfriend if she has one. That’s the truth we not allowed to acknowledge

  4. what i dont get is why these people like contradicting themselves,acting like suspect when realy the truth is easy on this situation…whY nothabo choose to run from the lawyer while she can just tell her why she hired joseph and the last convesation was him wanting out because of what he has discoverd so the lawyer can deal with Mtho,is it ealy that hard??? as much as they are scared of Mtho but something gotta give irritated by naive people

  5. QnA PLEASE read Zama’s comment with understanding, or better yet write it down and read it everyday because all the answers are there.

  6. so Nothabo went all out today and didn’t get a compliment from her significant other…anyways one never gets a compliment from their partners right…yeah it seems like he rather die than tell you you look beautiful.
    anyways QnA men are chance takers generally, be it your beautiful or ugly they will make a pass, young or old, rich or poor.
    imagine guys who sell papers at the robots are always making passes at me, isn’t it taking chances, I just laugh it off.
    please don’t settle on being a side chick men never take people who settle to being side dishes seriously, you should hear how they diss them.
    good luck on finding your own men nana

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