What he had done had scared the daylights out of me. We are not all women who think that a violent guy is hot. No! If you are sane you know that such a man will one day turn on you. I was wrong I know it but I was going to maintain my innocence from henceforth. I was never ever going to confess. Imagine if he did this to man he only suspected because of his gut what would he do with a full confession. I was scared of him. A part of me told me not to enter the car but I had thought too soon.
“You can get arrested for this Sizwe have you lost your mind!”
I asked him. Indeed he had. We do not live in a lawless country and people don’t seem to get that. No matter how much someone hurts you by the cheating you cannot go harm the person they cheated with. You go to jail and let’s see, first someone fucked your wife and then next thing you are in prison and someone else is fucking you! Yah think and men unfortunately do not do that. You go to jail after you were the one wronged in the first place. What if George pressed charges! This is not TV where you get away with stupid shit like this! He ignored me as we both walked away. I called Zethu because I know she was working. I told her what had happened and she said she was on her way to George. She did not sound surprised though meaning that George had already told her we slept together. Remember it was Zethu who had been telling me that I needed to shag this guy meaning that he had approached her about it a long time ago. Wow! I really am a loser. Most women have such friends who seem to urge you into doing either the things they are doing too or things you actually never see them doing. They plant the seed and keep watering it. That is female friendships for you. Don’t be surprised if one day she throws it in your face if you fall out.
“Please keep it under wraps I don’t want Sizwe to get in trouble please Zethu!”
Already she was telling me how possessive and dangerous my husband was. Imagine. She does not even know him that well but she had made all these conclusions.
“Sizwe slow down!”
I said as I ran up to catch up with him. He grabbed the car keys from me without saying a word.
“You didn’t have to pull them! You were always going to drive!”
The way he had grabbed them was like I was going to run away with them. I was not going to do anything to make him even more angry than he was now. I had not seen what he had done coming and where had he gotten that knife though? Maybe I should not let him drive because of the state he was in. He would end up killing us both that’s for sure and I was not ready to die. Hell no! I reached the car and opened the passenger door. He glared at me and shouted,
“… where do you think you are going?”
He asked me when I got to the car!
“Go back to your man and tend to him! Have you forgotten how much you rocked his world?”
He said. Wow! Now he did not want me to come home with him!
“Well we drove my car so I am not staying! I am coming with you!”
I said defiantly. If I let him go I would lose him most definitely. He would assume I went back to him and I would never salvage this. In this instance I was definitely guilty. I was going to beg him if I had to just for him to stay.
“I don’t want stories from you. You have become dishonest and are always angry!”
He said. Ladies know this, when you have a fight with your man that could lead to a break up, let him keep talking. Don’t challenge him. This is not the time to be playing the equal rights card. Disgusting as it might sound, be the woman and be apologetic. That’s only if you want to keep your man of course. If you don’t want him then tell him where to get off. Power games have a time and place. I knew that I was always crushing him but I am not dumb not to realize that now was not the time.
“Baby I am sorry! I really am! I did not sleep with him and only God knows this because you have already concluded!”.
I said going down my knees outside the car. The door was open on the passenger side and the way I was kneeling meant that he could not drive away even if he wanted to. I know I had cheated but the punishment must fit the crime right.
“Get in the car! Don’t think I will talk to you though! I am only doing this because the cameras can’t see the mighty Dr. Makgofa kneeling in the parking lot!”
He said coldly. That was step one. I was in the car meaning we were going home. Step two, women know this one all too well and guys don’t, cry! I cried like someone had died. I won’t lie, tears normally close the deal with most men. What’s worse we had to put fuel at the garage and when he opened his window for the attendant to attend to us he was embarrassed when he was asked, “Why sesi ola a lla?”
He ignored the guy and asked him for a full tank.
“Please stop crying now everyone thinks I am abusing you in some way!”
Men are funny creatures and this includes the abusive ones. They are ashamed of people knowing that they have been beating you up because they lose all respect yet they do it anyway. No man wants to be known as abusive. My plan was working.
“What am I supposed to do? You stabbed someone and could end up in jail leaving me alone!”
I did the whole put your arm across your eyes like children do when you cry which made the manager of the service station come to the car. She was female and you know how females are when they try protect one of their own.
“Ah bhuti your woman is crying and you are just sitting there doing nothing!”
My husband is a shy man and hates confrontation and the fact that this was drawing attention to him was killing him. Worse the fuel was only half way through and we still had to swipe.
“It is not what you think. I did not hit her nor did I shout at her. Nothabo tell them?”
He said clearly uncomfortable.
“Its ok Sisi I will be fine thank you!”
I told her without looking up. That just made it worse because all abused women tend to defend their abuser and come seem to walk away.
“Sister I know it’s hard to walk away but you should. You will find strength in God I can assure you that! And wena, sies!”
I almost laughed not because I liked my husband being treated like this but because the woman without knowing why I was crying had gone that far. Imagine if someone had died and that was the reason why I was crying. Eventually we left.
Step three, in the car I begged him. I maintained that I did not cheat but I would do whatever he wants me to so we could fix this. I went all out on this. Initially he was saying I must first admit the truth and my response was, “If I do that I would only be saying what you want to hear and that is far from the truth!”
Something which made him even more confused. By the time we got home we had reached no conclusion but at no point had he said let’s break up. I was winning. We discussed in the car for about ten more minutes.
“Can I have the car keys please?”
I said to him.
He asked me,
“Because I don’t trust that you won’t leave. I am really sorry and I think we need to talk.”
I told him. I think that surprised him as he laughed and handed me the keys.
“We can bring the bags in tomorrow. Let’s chat go inside!”
I said to him. He said he was following and I went in. I switched on the lights downstairs as I walked in. It was good to be back. I had not even checked on my mom. Instinct is something I tell you. Something told me to go and check my daughters room. The door was closed but I suppose I missed her and I knew she was not home but a mother has instincts. When I opened the door it was pitch dark so I switched on the light.
On the bed was my 15 year old daughter asleep naked and next to her was that kid who drives the mothers black mercedes also butt naked and asleep.
How did they even leave that stupid centre and why had I not been called? My husband was still outside in the garage taking our bags in I suppose even though I had said we can do it tomorrow. These kids know how to spoil my mood and day… Ok wrong words, they had made it worse!
I cleared my throat three times before either heard me. I could see why. There was half a blunt on her dressing table. I know what it looks like ok, I was young once!
He woke up and he saw me staring at him. He tried to cover his privates but well the trauma of what I had just seen meant the punishment was on me.
I entered the room and closed the door behind me, took the key and put it in my bra!
I was going to moer these kids like a snake that had entered a black man’s house!
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)
Please hide my identity. .. lets say. am Zintle. I am 27year old qualified health care provider. .. am renting a house. I have my own car. Early in February I met a very nice guy but my problem is:
- He is very successful (plays golf with the president) and that intimidates me a lot.
- He used to date a very famous TV star but hell am 5× prettier than her but still that bothers me because am a nobody.
- He is in an out of the country on business…he lives in cape Town and I live in Durban. So since we met in February we have spent time together 4times. He even flew over to spend my birthday with me. But I still somehow feel like he has someone in cape town though he told me he was single
- He works till late n he would call me around 21h00 saying he was still at the office about to go home….
- Recently my car broke down and I told him I was feeling down all he said was Sorry my love Kuzolunga….like really? He didn’t call to ask whts wrong with the car n if it’s sorted out. I don’t want him to give me money to fix it but shouldn’t he check up on me seeing that when it comes to cars we are taken for a ride by the car sales man n mechanics??. I love him n he makes me happy when he is around but I cant help bt just feel like am just his fix for when he is Durban on Business…..
Help should I give him a chance or leave.?