Realities – Chapter Fifty

I stared at that phone for a long time. She was angry at me for this and my fault was trying to put my family back together. Parents some times catch on late that at some point it is their children who make better decisions than them. Yes, scary as it might sound, one day Lintle will make decisions for her father and I. Sigh, the thought was just crippling. So here I was taking stock of what was happening in my life. My own mother had just disowned me for trying to protect her and my father from making a terrible decision. I was not stupid, Sibongile had to go but things had to be done right. We could not abandon this kid at a time like this because her life had just gone into a dark place and things were about to get worse. They will arrest her eventually. It’s what the police do. The problem would now be where did my father stand in this? Would he try to protect her and be by her side which would greatly piss off my my mother meaning the chances of reconciliation were zero to none, or would he abandon her at her time of need? I know at some point he would regret it and me, as a mother and a woman I think would hate myself for allowing myself to do that.

“I don’t think taking her on a holiday is a good idea but I will support whatever decision you make!”

I said to him. He said he was only trying as neither of us had an answer. He told me that he had booked us tickets on TRAVELSTART and we got a flight for that evening. We were going to Durban for three days. I was not sure about this though. I really was not. What if she runs away from us in Durban? We know no one there so I would not know where to start.

“I am sorry mum!”

A voice said behind me. There she stood there as though nothing had happen. She was wearing a summer dress and it was something that made her look even more girly and young. What I saw her like last night and this innocent image just broke my heart. I had to keep a stern face to show that I was angry. Raising a teenage daughter is like an episode of Game of Thrones, you don’t know when she will betray your trust nor whether to applaud her for being so cunning or kill her.

“Love, we are going to make this worse. This family needs us to stay together and much as I am unhappy with you, I will not leave my daughter to turn out like her mother!”

Sizwe said and my first instinct was OUCH! That was a low blow and way below the belt. He had just said that he did not want his daughter to end up like a slut just like his mother without using those direct words.

“Don’t you think that’s a bit harsh?”

I asked him.

“Which part?”

He asked me defiantly,

“The fact that our daughter behaves like her mother or that her mother behaves like she is her teenage daughter? You tell me!”

I was looked at him jaw on the floor. It hit home. I had that one coming. I wanted to shout back but I did not.

“When are we leaving?”

He said we are flying out that evening so we should pack. I resolved that I was going to go all out to get into his good books but I would rather die before I confess.

“Mum what are you going to pack?”

Lintle asked me. Was this child not aware that I was angry at her. She did not even seem to mind all that was happening around her. She was so excited. She seemed to have forgotten the beating that she received at my hand. She told me that she wanted to buy a bikini and go to the beach. She said there was a shop in Durban that sold the most gorgeous bikinis and I think she called it Wild Rose Boutique! I was not sure whether or not to indulge her on it but her father had said that we needed to bond as a family so what ever it takes. I hate packing! It takes too much time and like any woman I can never find anything to wear. Most of my clothes were for work and the ones I was meant to go out in looked like they were for church. No wonder why my husband thought I was boring. I had to go shopping. I had not done this in a long time. I threw everything on the bed and nothing felt right. Lintle came into the room and asked me why I had to take old clothes to the trip. She was right though, maybe a few new clothes would make Sizwe look at me again as a woman. It’s the one aspect of me I neglected. There would be no time though to go get my hair done and all that jazz and this was I think something I needed badly. I am not saying I was unkempt or anything but I just never focused on that. It’s not thhat I did not appreciate pampering myself but my husband had never encouraged it and often I was too busy to care anyway. Women that send too much time at salons are women who have time and money I always felt. Imagine doing your hair and nails every month, that’s a significant part of your budget and that money could be going to other more important things. That’s what I thought anyway. It was after I put back my clothes in the wardrobe, utterly disatisfied by them that I concluded I had to go to the mall and pick up a few things. Maybe I will surprise them. We were leaving late in any casem

I left the house without saying anything as my husband had walked outside. I went to look for hhim but I did not find him. I resolved to call him on my way there but as soon as I entered the car I got distracted andd concentrated on the road and my thoughts on how things where going down. When I got to the mall I realized that I knew nothing about what was the latest in style. Moreover I had not shopped for a holiday in a long time and this is something that usually is planned in months. I always find it funny though how Durban is considered a holiday by us Gauteng people! It’s a drive aways and an hour flight meaning it’s right here. I picked out two dresses, shorts, a hat, sunglasses and shoes. I figured that we would buy other things there. I had luggage at home fortunately, decent one I mean, not the one from Game.

As I was paying my phone rang. I had to fish it out from the bottom as once more my handbag was full of unnecessary things. Just made me realize that I needed a new handbag. It hung up before I could pick up. I thought it would be probably Sizwe. When I took it out eventually I realized it was the hospital. As a doctor even when you are not on call, picking up your phone is essential especially for your patients. I called back.

“Dr. Makgofa I need you to come in. There is a problem with one of your patients”

It was one of my colleagues and I had to go. This was something I had to do in person. This however had always been the problem with my marriage. My husband knew that as a doctor I had to put my patients first. He used to support this but now it was more like I was avoiding him. Unfortunately that was not true.

“I am coming now now and am not too far. Give me about twenty minutes!”

Fair enough I made it. I knew there was no way George was working today so at least I could avoid that awkward moment. I was done with ten minutes and as I was about to leave my husband phoned and his first question was,

“Where are you?”

He asked me!

“I am at the mall about to come home!”

I lied. At that very moment a nurse walked past me and said,

“Dr. Makgofa, Dr. Kuse is in ward 3 and said you must talk to him before you leave!”

Dr. Kuse was the head of my unit. Even my husband knew that and had met him.

“I see the doctors come to the mall now!”

My husband said. He did not snap nor did he sound angry.

“I guess you had to go check on your lover before you left.”

He said and only then did he hang up the phone. My first thought was to ask myself why I had lied? It really had not been necessary but when I think about it, he would not have believed me anyway. When things fall apart really do fall apart. I rushed home.

There was no traffic so I was there relatively quick.

“Sizwe, I called out as I entered the house!”

He was in the lounge. I was not going to fight.

“I stopped at the hospital to handle a patient that’s all. I am sorry I lied.”

I told him. He just stared at me blankly. Lintle came downstairs and asked me what I had bought excitedly.

“Here is my phone Sizwe,”

I thrust it at him but he did not reach out. It vibrated loudly to signal an sms coming in. I turned it around so I could read it.

“I am in love with you. I am going to fight for you. Your husband will have to kill me to stop me from being with you! I am sorry I got you in trouble. It was not my intention. ”

It read! What had I done? This was from George,

“What does the message say?”

My husband asked!

I looked up at him and I was speechless!

*****The End******

Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)

Dear Mike

I just want to thank you for your books. They keep us glued to our phones or computers. You truly are a phenomenal writer. Keep up your great work.
I am a 25 year old, who is currently unemployed. I am a mother to a 4 year old girl, who lost her father two years ago in a car accident. I am currently dating this 31 year old, who happens to be the sweetest guy ever. He is caring, supportive and compassionate to say the least. We started dating 3 months ago. And ever since we have been talking about the future. As we are both not getting any younger. I am currently studying Bsc Computer Science and applied mathematics with UNISA. Now the problem is he wants to pay dowry and my mom is saying that, she does not want dowry yet, because I am not yet financially independent. She is telling me that I should at least be financially independent and another reason is she got married when she was 21, so she won’t allow me to also get married when I’m still in my 20s. What i don’t understand is that she is still married to my dad to this day, when she married him she was unemployed as well. The question is, is my mom being unreasonable or not? And I do not doubt this guy’s intentions. How do I convince my mom otherwise? Do I do as she wants or just try to get a job as I have been and marry this guy. Or do I just find employment and wait until I’m in my 30s. What exactly am I supposed to do here. I really love this guy. Please advice.

25 thoughts on “Realities – Chapter Fifty

  1. Hahaha when sex translates to a relationship! Ouch!

    A2Q this one is tricky, Your mother is right but that’s the decision you supposed to make for yourself. She’s done such a good job raising you so tell her to trust you in making the right decision. What if you listen to her and end up a spinster in your 30s? That’s how resentment creeps in.

    On the other hand why do you want to marry someone you’ve known for 3 months? Tell the guy to take a chill pill you still want to see more of him but marriage is too soon.

  2. QnA… I definetly support your mother in terms of your financial independence… I dont think its a good idea to get married while you dont have a basic salary of your own… No matter how riçh he is… But as for the age thing… Your mom is being unreasonable there… Totally unreasonable… 25 is perfect… Get that degree.. Get a job and marry your man… Gooduck.

  3. Lol abo Goerge though, sekafuna ama promotions hahahaha main dish things kwaaaaa. Mara this doctor is full of herself yati. Why did she lie?

  4. For Nothabo is was just sex and for George it was love….cheating comes with baggage, more reason to refrain from such.

    @Conflicted. Your mother is not being unreasonable at all. She wants the best for you and yes she got married unemployed but you don’t know how it was for her, but she does and hence she doesn’t want you to go through the same thing. She wants you to be your own woman, most mothers want that and once you have worked on yourself, then you can bring someone else in your life. This however is her vision for you, you have your own and if you want get married at 24, then its your choice. Your mother may still be married but its seems like there were experiences that she doesn’t want you to go through. Think about it dear.

  5. Qna… I totally agree with your mom when it comes to financial independence… Have your own basic salary before getting married… It doesnt matter how rich he is… The age thing is really unresonable… 25 is perfect… Get that degree… Get a job then marry your man… Your mom will come around… Have her meet him aswell (if they haven’t already)… If he’s as good as you say he is… It should be easier to convince your mother.

  6. Bathong George gana timing hle, but again most side dishes are like this. They always get attached.

    @ Anonymous bare tseya nako go motseba, why is this guy in a hurry to marry you? Get to know him better my sister, you may be dating a serial murderer for all you know, lets have this conversation in a year ne!

  7. Hello Mike and family! All I can say is wow! Great read as always. I’m one of those who cudnt access the blog becos of that red dot, I’m glad its fixed now! Thank you so much! I’m loading airtime as we speack so I can. Spoil myself with some Lesedi’s drama! I’ve missed it so so much! U guys r the best! Keep up the good work!

    As for the Dr yena! She is in too deep! I wud also be speechless!

  8. Lol George sounds like a guy who got me into trouble with my man last weekend. So I can relate to Dr’s situation.

  9. Thanks Team, George ulikhwapha so stop trying to make yourself i-sadie!!! From just one sexual encounter you’re already talking ‘fighting for her, love, blah….’ Get over it, get over it…
    A to Q: listen to your Mom, she’s been there, done that and got the t-shirt and does not want the same for you. She may not tell you each and every episode that happened in her early married life, but her warning you – says a lot and I trully believe that she has good intentions. So listen to her. And besides if your guy trully loves you, he wouldn’t mind waiting for a little while longer until you are employed and can take care of yourself and child….

  10. I love your stories Mike…

    @25 year old – being independent as woman is the best thing that you can do for yourself and your child. In my experience – my mother instilled independence at a very young age and i will forever be grateful to her. I have been through a lot in life, relationships etc and i am gratitude to have the independent foundation/mindset. I have been better off being independent and if i hadn’t been exposed to it, my life would have been a disaster. I have been able to continue strong with those challenges – without waiting on others to move my life forward. Get an education, open your mind, open your world and universe so you are grounded in YOU before committing to another. In essence if you are able to stand on your own, anything that may happen in life, relationships and friendships – you are able and strong enough to handle it. I’m not saying – don’t get married – but rather establish who you are first. Get yourself standing strong first. That my dear in the long run will make you a better wife, mother and person. Mr Wonderful will wait and support your journey, if he truly loves you because in the long run – it’ll build a better future for the both of you! Good luck! And remember mothers always want what is best!

  11. I agree with your mum. You met this guy 3months ago and you guys are already in marriage mode. Pkus you are 25. 45 is the scary age these days. I know someone who fast tracked a marriage and she is deeply regretting as the true colours are only coming out now. Good luck sisi but dont be desperate to rush this thing called marriage

  12. U should make your own life choices , but bare in mind that your mistakes dont only affect you but both you and the baby. The wisest thing for you now is to wait , time will tell all

  13. QnA I suggest you marry that man. that’s if you don’t want to turn out like the lady in yesterday’s letter poking yourself with pencils and other sharp objects in your genitals.

    it gets harder to marry when you are above 30. do it now (if its your wish) or never

  14. Your mother’s encounters, experiences and journey will not be yours. Just because she doesn’t recommend marriage at a young it don’t mean u shouldn’t. Sisi do you and don’t live according to society’s expectations. The same society that tells you to wait now will gosip about the way oleng lefetwa ka teng in 10 years. Follow your heart and make your mom understand. As for period/time frame of the relationship with ur potential hubby, love some people spend 10 years together and never make it to the alter, while others take months 2 make it to the alter. What makes marriage work is you and your significant other not the number of years you have been together. Do YOU baby and leave society out or you might leave to regret it…

    I’m not saying defy your mother but make her see your point and pour out ur heart to her and that man can be a stranger even after 10 years so don’t wait because of those 2 factors that don’t determine the future. You know what you want alrdy go ahead and do it

  15. @Conflicted let me ask you this simple question, where do you see yourself in 5 years time. If you have to think about the answer then I would give it to you straight. You are not ready for marriage, still think about it for now, you will know when you are ready.

    Not every1 can be independed so to have that with you will be the best thing.

  16. Da Mike -Top drawer.

    Conflicted, just know that nothing in life is guaranteed, I repeat NOTHING! After writing this, I cud be hit by a truck (I chose a truck over a bus bcz it carries less ppl ?) & U wud never read my comments again. That’s how life is, No guarantee. (Excuse my dejavu, but I had to drive that point home).

    Generations & opportunities etc make yo lyf virtually impossible to be a mirror replica of your mom’s lyf. UR not guaranteed 2find a job 2months after graduating. Had U been 19 to 21 where UR naive if not confused abt lyf & choices, I wud without blinking say listen 2yo mum.

    @25 U are wiser (read experienced) than U were a few years back. Fact that U now have a baby & an education means UR allowed 2take yo own calculated risks & make yo own mistakes. This guy is asking 4yo hand in marriage not “vat ‘n sit” 4crying out loud. He is 1of the few “cultured” MEN out there.

    I say show yo interest & tell him U need another few months 2know him beta & do some background checks of yo own. If U tick most of the boxes, GET yo MAN! – PapaG

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