When a man insists on using the word divorce every time you disagree it becomes a problem. It is not a nice word at all and feels like you are being threatened. Women today will tell you what an independent powerful woman you are, so you should not stand for that shit. Ok fine I will probably say that to them but reality is, you don’t want to be dumped. I may not appear it but I love my husband. All relationships take work. A lot of people nowadays have forgotten that. Women run at the first sign of trouble because somehow being told we are independent and can take care of ourselves has been made to come out, as we don’t have to fight for our marriages. My man was not cheating on me and yes he had hit me but why had he done that? I definitely started it and had I not hit him back? I could have killed him had I wanted to. He wanted a divorce so that we could stop hurting each other like this! He was right too because these people we had become also scared me senseless.
“Sizwe come on. You know what we have been going through we can fix. I know it’s not something you want. You always said I am the most important thing in your life. Please make me that person again!”
He just looked at me. My husband loves me. Maybe with the brat gone we will be able to spend quality time together and try and fix this. My husbands phone rang. He was standing next to me and the number was a private number.
“Hello! Who is this?”
I actually don’t like people who answer the phone like that. It sounds rude. I often told my husband that but he said he did not like private number calls. First hear the persons voice before saying that though. When whoever spoke my husband immediately changed. Only one person did that to him, my father!
He said politely. He put him on speaker and put his finger on my mouth for me to shut up.
“I was talking to Kgosi yesterday and he told me everything that’s going on. I did not want to call Nothabo first without speaking to you!”
Note how my father did not greet back and went straight to the point. I wanted to tell him to back off because my husband had complained as to how my father always intervened for me but he stared at me menacingly to keep my mouth shut.
“No sir, we sorted out the drama yesterday!”
He told him firmly. He had to because my father is that type of man who can smell fear or weakness!
“By driving all the way to Polokwane? How is that sorting out anything?”
He asked him. He was making my husband look small again something he loved doing.
“I have sent my boys to find this Mthobisi character to tell him to back off! No one threatens my daughter!”
My father said angrily.
“No no no sir please do not do that! We have sorted it out already and if your boys get to him then he will come after us! I took care of it and our debt is squared!”
My husband told him but my father would not budge.
“So you think if he gave you the money he will not forget that you sent someone to investigate him? How stupid are you really as a man?”
My father asked annoyed at my husband’s response. I wanted to intervene so badly but I think Sizwe needed to fight his own battles with my father.
“I do not need your help sir with all due respect! I told you that I have taken care of it so please back off before you make this situation worse! Tell your boys to turn around and leave Mthobisi alone. I will defend my family not you!”
He said sternly. He was finally standing up to my father!
“Watch your tone boy I am not your friend!”
Was the angry response he got for that outburst? My father was the real deal! The taxi industry makes you tough and to rise to the top even in a small town means that you have hurried bodies somewhere!
“My boys have already been sent so deal with that!”
He concluded and hung up.
“What are we going to do now?”
I asked Sizwe! He looked angry but on my face it was not anger that I had but pride. My husband had finally told my father where to get off! African culture forbids you from talking to your father in law like that but this had actually happened wow. I was not second guessing him though but now more than ever, since my father had said he had sent his boys, we needed his protection more than ever. This was a catch22 situation.
“Maybe I should call Mthobisi and tell him to watch out but that would sound like a threat.”
My husband said out loud. He had to hold his thoughts though because my phone rang.
“Is this Dr. Makgofa?”
Yes it is. It was a number I did not recognise!
“Yes it is!”
It was a lady though so she continued,
“I am calling from Girls and Boys Town and I am afraid to say, your daughter has run away!”
“Madam your daughter ran away! We can’t find her. Her and two other girls. They say a black Mercedes picked them up!”
Hearing about that car again was like hearing that Julius Malema has opened a new party! Imagine! Twice now this car had taken my daughter! Here is what’s worse, I had made a mistake, the moment that boys mother came to make him apologise I should have taken her numbers. I had not done so and now we had the same situation again. I asked her when they had realized she was missing and she said she was last seen a couple of hours ago. As soon as I hung up the doorbell rang. Standing at my door was the boys mother. I was so relieved I could have hugged her.
“Is my son here?”
She asked me as soon as I opened the door. I could tell she was anxious and very irritated by all this.
“No he is not?”
“Where is your daughter?”
She asked me. I was so embarrassed and I told her that we had sent her to Girls and Boys Town. She looked at me in disgust!
“No wonder why she is like this, you discipline your own child! You don’t send someone else to do it for you as though you do not have time for it!”
She said to me!
“She is with your son. Where is his discipline too?”
I said defensively crossing my hands my chest.
“It’s your daughter! She is the little whore who is corrupting my son!”
Those were words. How could she even say that? My daughter was missing and she could have said something about trying to find her but no she was so accusing me for it. Fine Girls and Boys Town is not a prison but to me it felt as though my daughter had run away from jail. I was going to punch this woman I really was!
My phone vibrated and I checked it immediately.
“Hi mum, I am not at that awful place but I am going back tonight don’t worry. Just wanted to let you know that I just broke my virginity! Why didn’t you ever tell me that sex was this good? Thanks. Bye!”
As a mother what would you do?
I sat down!
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)
I think I’ve got a major problem. Well, I’ve been dating this guy for 2 months now and he seems pretty amazing. He’s an open book. So far, he let’s me use his phone whenever I feel like it and he even makes sure I know his password. He gave me his bankcard and pin so that I can use it whenever I want. As a result, whenever he needs something, he asks me to get it for him. I really trust this guy cause of this side that he has shown me (none of the guys I dated before have ever done this for me).
The problem is that he wants me to move in with him. This guy is white and his culture is very different to mine. I’m afraid that it is too soon and I think we should be doing things the right way. When I told him this, he asked me how many cows my mom would want, LOL. How do I get this guy to slow down so that we can get to know each other better before we settle down? Talking to him didn’t help cause he felt like I wanted to break up with him.
Another thing is that we have been having sex without a condom, even though we haven’t gotten tested together. I got tested a month before I got together with him and my result was negative. Every time I sleep with him, I worry that I might be exposing myself to diseases. How do I approach the issue, especially given the fact that we have already had unprotected sex.