I don’t blame my brother. He is stupid. He will always be stupid. It’s those people who mentally don’t grow up. They do not think properly no matter how much older they get. He was definitely the black sheep. We had gone to Polokwane to someone whom in all honesty a phone call would have sufficed without dealing with the Gauteng person who was probably, no definitely, more lethal. Journalists are dangerous. They will do anything for a story hence why they are called professional gossips. They love embarrassing anyone with authority that’s why half the news is About ANC, Police and teachers. I had. Two elements in the police and ANC meaning I would definitely be news worthy.
My husband kept telling me to calm down every time I snapped at my brother which was only making it worse. Eventually I asked him why the journalist.
“Sisi you are being unfair. I thought you were in trouble. Who else could better keep you safe than him? Think about it? Even the police respect journalists because getting in trouble is so easy. Now you making me look like a fool? I am not the one who said mess with criminals!”
He was very angry because my brother never ever tries talking back to me!
“Yes but couldn’t you see that I was bribing him?”
I asked him.
“I never saw it like that. You were put in a corner and you had to respond somehow. The police will never mess with you again because it’s mutual destruction. This was for the best!”
I could not help it. My mother had messed up royally on this one.
“It’s fine never mind. You better pray we find him before he has done something with it otherwise I am so screwed!”
I tried to close my eyes to sleep but I could not. Fortunately my phone rang. It was a number I did not know. For a second there I thought it was Mthobisi but it was not.
Would you believe it! It was my little girl. It was Lintle. Wait a minute, didn’t they take their phones away. I greeted her and her asked her that.
“Relax mum this is not prison. I have a room mate and her name is Onalenna. She has given me the lowdown of this place. Everything depends on who you hang out with.”
I know my daughter. When she is trying to wind you up and this was classic her,
“Some girls sniff benzine, some smoke weed, swear at the care workers, bring a phone or radio and play music too load, lock themselves in their room and refuse to open, steal snacks (we call them privileges), start a bonfire even or jump the fence to go drinking with the guys by the garage. It’s really fun here! The food sucks though but I like it here!”
She said. She was actually so cheerful and I think that is what made me not really trust what she was saying. She was baiting me but because I had not heard her voice all day I let her talk without snapping at her. Now here is the problem. I know my daughter could be telling the truth but she could also be lying. It’s that situation of the girl who cried wolf. I was nervous for her though. She did not need to be there. She had to be home with me. I told her I was on my way from Polokwane and she could not believe I would go without telling her. I was tired. I asked her how she got a phone considering that’s he did not have one when she left. She said her new friend had one and before I could say anything further she hung up. I tried to call her back but she did not pick up. She was just looking for attention.
“I think this is the most fun thing we have done in years.”
My husband said. I looked around you look at my brother but he was sleeping now. I think I had irritated him that much.
“How is this fun? Our lives are on the line and you call this fun?”
I know there are women out there who want bad boy men but I am not one of them. I am all about order and stability. It might sound cool. Like it’s a life of adventure and fun but the reality is that it’s not. A man with shady dealings means that you will never know when someone steps out of the shadows and plunges a knife into your back.
“I don’t mean it like that. We just don’t have time to do things together anymore. Remember when we were younger we would go out dancing even! What happened to those days? We were the happiest couple that ever lived?”
Of all the times in the world to be nostalgic he had to choose this one. I understood what he meant but men are like that usually when they want something. They want to remind you of more youthful times but he was forgetting that I was a woman and mother now I had no time for nonsense.
“So what would you have me do? Do you want me to wear short skirts and go drinking with you like we used to? Is that it?”
I asked him.
“You don’t have to mock me. I love you still but I want us to have new ideas and have fun like we used to!”
A man telling you that is him saying you bore him and he wants to replace you with a younger model. It’s easy for unmarried women to say that I must give in to please my man but where on my forehead is it written that I am a puppet to please him when he wants it. I am not that person. I was now a respectable professional woman not some university student that needed weaves and tight clothes to feel important.
“You know that’s not what I am saying!”
He said. No I did not know! He was making a wrong assumption.
“O ska ntina!”
I said really annoyed. We were in a bad situation and he was seeing it fit to be romantic now.
“What did I do wrong now?”
He asked me but before I could respond my brother said something from behind. I did not hear him correctly so I asked him to repeat that.
“It’s him, he is calling?”
My brother said. It was the journalist. I whispered that he put him on speaker.
“This is Lebo who is this?”
I was surprised I thought the knew each other.
“What do you mean who is this? Ke Kgosi!”
My brother said.
“Ah brother. I lost my phone so my numbers from the old phone divert. How are you?”
He greeted back. I could feel myself sigh in relief.First thought was to panic then it made sense. He had not even seen the video. It’s what he would have run with but he did not.
“I sent you a message earlier did you get it?”
He asked him. He said he had not received it but once he got a handset maybe it would come in. He asked what was this about but my brother said it was ok he would see him in person. The way he asked the question though, it was as though he had something to hide.
“I think he saw it and he is hiding that he did!”
My brother said as soon as he hung up!
“We have a problem then!”
My husband said.
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)
I used to say that size doesn’t matter like every one else. I was wrong. I never thought I was that girl who actually valued sex over the relationship but overnight that changed. I am dating the most amazing man ever. He is sweet and attentive and is also very generous. I laugh when I am with him and he waited for us to have sex. Twice I tried with him and he turned me down. A man who said let’s wait is rare. Yesterday he took off his clothes for the first time in front of me and I wanted to die. It is so small. We had sex and it was like he was poking me. I lost all my respect for him and he is actually a big guy to make it worse. I love this guy but what do I do now?
Ashamed of myself