A lot of people have never blacked out before! It’s like literally nothing happens. There is a darkness and a scary nothing that replaces it. That was me. All I had to remind of that morning was the pain of my jaw. It hit me sharply when I woke up and tried to yawn. Yes people I yawn in the morning when I wake up and stretch! That’s when everything that happened to me last night flooded back. Sizwe had punched me that son of a bitch! I looked at myself to see if he had beat me up some more when I was blacked out. Ok fine that is kind of paranoid but had I not kicked him when he was down. Concussion can actually kill you if you didn’t know this. He was not in the bad with me but I suspect he had run away when I was blacked out! How did I get to the bed though? He had even taken off the little make up I had on my face? He knew I hated sleeping with make up on but my jaw though? I felt as though he had cracked! I even had a headache to match. There was glass of watter and two GenPaynes next to the bed. It was clearly from him. I was in too much pain to ignore them. I know black people only know Panado and Grandpa, GenPayne is in that family too only stronger. I drank them as I stood up. Crap, I should have eaten first. Taking Pain Killers without eating is usually not advisable. I stood up and I felt dizzy. I looked at the time, it was 10:27am. I was so late for work I could not even bother.
I went downstairs and the first thing I noticed was that the rug was gone. He had taken my rug possibly to throw away the evidence. He had also cleaned up everything. The only evidence left was the dent on the coffee table. Everything was moving slowly as my head was throbbing. I noticed in the middle of the table was a note. It read,
“Breakfast is in the microwave. I will be back shortly!”
Was he really doing this? Was he really pretending as though nothing had happened? I was not going to let him get away with this. As I was thinking that I heard his car drive in. I immediately ran to grab a knife in the kitchen. He was definitely never going to hit me again. He came in holding the rug. Had he dry cleaned it already wow. How fast was that?
“I see you are up!”
He said as he walked towards me. He saw the knife in my hand and he stopped.
“Is that for me?”
He asked me. He bent over to put the rug down exposing his back to me! I could stab him and get away with it.
“How are you feeling?”
He asked me as though he forgot I was carrying this huge knife! Hello!
“I think we need to talk but first you must eat! I know how irrational you are when you are hungry!”
He said. Note I had not said a word to him still. He waked past me and went to warm up the food. His breakfast was also there.
“Can I borrow the knife please need to butter the bread?”
He said casually. It was then I looked at the knife I was holding! Ah, it was the butter knife! No wonder why he had given me his back. I handed it over and he washed it, warmed up our food, placed it on the table and said,
“Come let’s it!”
This was the weirdest thing ever. What if my husband was some kind of serial killer?
“Why are you acting as though nothing happened yesterday?”
I asked him.
He asked me. See what I meant! I was so scared of this man.
“You said you wanted to call your father on me right so he can come take care of me! Shouldn’t I be the one who is more scared of you than the other way round!”
He asked me? Yes he was right. I had said that and I was going to it as soon as he was done acting weird.
“I am not going to jail on an empty stomach”
He said with a wry smile! He ate quickly and eventually I started eating too. He was obviously done before me. He took out his phone and dialled the police station. In our neighborhood we all have the police number, even Lintle knows it by heart.
“My name is Sizwe and I would like to report myself in. I beat up my wife last night and she is sitting next to me. She wants justice. Please come arrest me!”
He said. The officer on the other side got stuck just like I did. What the hell was he doing!
“Sir, this is an important line. Do not make prank calls to us ever again otherwise we could arrest you for that! It’s a serious crime!”
The officer hung up! I was so annoyed I wanted to laugh. He thought he had this all figured out! I will have my revenge. I took the phone and I called in sick at work again. This time my supervisor asked me what really was going on because in all the years he had known me I had never been sick. At work there is this joke that only male doctors get sick, which is true because once they become doctors the sleep with everyone because girls just love the idea of a man being a doctor. Go to anyy hospital and you will find a doctor who has slept with at least half of the nurses especially the young ones. No wonder why other men envy them. Regardless somewhere somehow they get burnt and get sick. I explained to him that I would explain when I came back. With us you can’t say “woman issues” to get him off your back because as doctor he has seen more and worked on more. A married doctor touches more women a day than a prostitute sleeps with men per day. They get to touch boobs and ass in the name of work for free. Ask any girl how she dreads going to her gynae and you will figure out why. It’s a good think we not peverts but touching is touching! My plan for today was hunt down this journalist. I know I had said I was not going to but I was too scared not to!
My brother called and he said he was coming. Sizwe just sat there and watched. I was not sure what to do now as the house had this deadly awkwardness in it.
“Go dress up, we are expecting someone!”
He said rather coldy. I hate being told what to do but he was right, I could not receive guests looking the way I did. It was embarrassing!
I decided to take a quick bath and dressed casually. It was only when I was finishing up that I heard the doorbell. His guests were here. I could hear the voices, one was a white lady but the other was not sure.
I went downstairs immediately. It was indeed a white lady and a coloured guy.
“Nothabo this is Lynn Fester and Bradley Peters, they are from a law firm in Sandton. I called them here so we can negotiate our divorce!”
You could hear a pin drop!
Please punch me again so I can black out!
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)
I bow my head to you and your team, You are brilliant writers.
I have been dating the same guy for seven years now. In that time I have cheated several times and he has never caught me. I slept with his brother twice and the brother is married. I know his wife and she loves me. His parents adore me. At the time my boyfriend was unemployed and I was. He was lazy and always made up excuses to get a job. He was not abusive per se but he was distant and I think he was cheating too but I never found out. I know it’s cliché to say this but I love my man regardless. On my side, the cheating has not happened though since 2013 August. Over the last six months he turned his life around and he became born again. He is now working with upward mobility too. I still earn more than him but that’s not the point. Two weeks ago he asked me to marry him in front of his parents. I obviously said yes. His brother was there and I could see him look down in shame.
Should I tell my fiance the truth about his brother and me? Secondly I am scared the brother who also seems to be tithering towards this born again business will confess to him to get redemption? Is there anything I can do to prevent this. I have thought of breaking up with him completely but how would this work?