Realities – Chapter Four

Never fool yourself, a woman will never love another woman’s child especially if she has a child of her own her husband is taking care of! Maybe if that woman was dead and she had to play step mother but even then, her children come first. Girls with step mothers usually tell you horrific stories and I remember in my internship we had a case of a 14 year old girl, whose step mother gave her food once a day and we had to call social workers on her. I remember thinking how can a woman be so evil to do that to a child but now I was grown and things change. I did not want to hate his daughter whom I had not even met mind you but even knowing her name was making me feel somehow! Why had he brought this monster to our house though? No man! This was just too much for me to take!

Zethu walked in. She seemed to have had the time of her life.

“Weren’t you on call?”

I asked her as soon as she walked in.

“Nope. I am in Ortho and it was a slow weekend. You look like you have been crying though what’s up with that?”

She asked me looking me in the eye. I felt kind of stupid but I could not help it as I told her the whole story. She listened attentively and asked me at the end,

“Was hiring a private investigator the wisest thing though because you are now going to open up an unnecessary can of worms!”

She kind of had a point there and when I did it I had not really thought that through not to say I was not going to go through with it.

“Right now Zethu all I want is to know whether or not there is more I should worry about. He is always out doing God knows what and before today I never minded but this thing seems to have hit me hard in the face I can’t help but feel like I slacked off and stopped paying attention!”

I explained to her. She was me a few years ago at that dinner with Lubi! She did not agree this was the way to go and I don’t blame her because I felt exactly the same way.

“It’s your choice though at the end of the day. Just be careful that this won’t blow up in your face!”

She concluded. She had to do her rounds and Orthopedics was on the other side of the building. Bones had never fascinated me but to each her own. I was doing Paediatrics, I know hey, the irony so had a full schedule. At least it will help me keep the peace in my mind.

“Good morning Doc!”

Said a happy voice behind me! Goodness not him again. It was a male nurse who seemed for the life of me to think I was his friend.

“Yes Richard how was your evening?”

I asked him to be polite. The problem with Richard was that he was always happy and expected everyone else to be happy too. I am a woman and we have times in the month when we have nothing to be happy about even if we try! It’s how God intended but to this man he would do whatever it takes to put a smile on your face. He was too much and today I was not in the mood.

“One of your children is getting discharged today please don’t forget. The parents are here already but I told them that only around ten will things move!”

I thanked him and told him I had to go. I had not seen Zethu behind me.

“That guy likes you hey and he is so hot!”

She said and walked past me! Songezo hot! No come on now! I had never looked at a colleague in that manner and besides he was a nurse and I was a doctor. The reason why women in positions of authority rarely date men beneath them is because you feel like he just wants to fuck you to brag to his friends that he shagged the boss. Men are childish really. You lose your respect. I had rounds to do but before I could even start I got a called.

“Yes I got you his contacts. His name is Jozey Rakgatla but everyone calls him J.R. I gave him your numbers so he will call you!”

Say what?

“Why did you give him my number? All I asked was if you knew one!”

That was the problem with my brother! Waphapha all the time. I should never have asked him in the first place!

“That’s the thank you I get! Next time don’t call me!”

He said and hung up! Don’t worry he will be back again when he wants money! Now I had to wait for this call!

“Yes am I talking to Dr. Makgofa, this is JR I got your numbers from Kgosi he says you might need my help!”

The moment of truth had arrived. I told him that I wanted my husband to be investigated. I wanted to find out what he does in his spare time, any other kids he might have, how much debt he was in, all his assets and the like. I also warned him that my husband was well connected and in tenders so he must be careful whom he asks. He laughed and said I just made it easier because it was the powerful ones that had the easiest secrets to find because of them have a routine. I did not see what the joke was.

“How much do you charge?”

In my excitement I had forgotten that part.

“I need a r5000 deposit, non refundable and it must come from an account that is not linked directly to any account your husband has access to!”

He said confidently.

“What the hell? How will I know you won’t disappear because if I give you such money I won’t be able to prove it?”

I asked him. I was not that stupid hey!

“If you use an account your husband has links to he will know something is wrong so don’t make that mistake. I will need his I.D Number, if you can Personal Income Tax number, and his company number!”

He continued! Again I had a question, was it not his job to find out all this of which I asked him?

“Madam it is my job but it will take me two weeks to get information that you already have which will cost you more money. To cut on time and resources I need these so that in a month we should be wrapping up this case!”

Ok I felt kind of foolish. I told him I will find a way. He said I must come to his office to sign a contract this way I will have peace of mind. He was right, I was so relieved even though I figured it will be in some shady part of town. I will have to take Kgosi with me! I asked him to foward me all the details and he cut me off and said,

“I get paid on results, every week I will bring you what I have unearthed. This way you can judge the work and not feel robbed by paying for no results. Is that fair?”

He asked me of which I agreed. This was really happening. I had no shame. After he hung up I stood there in my small office stunned that I had actually sanctioned that. When my phone rang I assumed it was him again but I was more than just mistaken, it was my daughters school.

“Dr. Makgofa this is Mrs. Mckenzie from your daughter school. We have a problem!”

She sounded stern and actually angry!

“Is everything ok? Is she sick?”

I asked her!

“No she is not sick! Your daughter signed in her class register this morning and simply disappeared! Some girls say they saw walk out the gate and get into a black Mercedes Benz car!”

My husband drove a black Mercedes Benz! That idiot! Why didn’t he tell me he was taking Lintle out of school and what for? He would never take her out of school without telling me! Infact, he hated going to her school!

Fuck wait! Was he kidnapping my daughter, no I mean, our daughter?

Is that even possible?

****The End****

Michael Nkululeko Maphoto

Dear Readers

I am a 23 year old girl and I have a bit of a problem. I don’t know how to put this but I have slept with 28 men since I lost my virginity three years ago. I am not even a sex addict and I don’t crave for it but I can’t seem to say no for too long when a guy asks for it. I am trying to stop but Easter weekend I realized I had a big problem because on Friday I slept with a guy I met at the concert and on Monday I slept with a guy I met at a party on Sunday. I have a problem and I don’t know what to do. I don’t drink a lot and infact am that girl who drinks coke at a party. I always use a condom, I don’t do drugs, I have a university degree and I work. I am not from a township nor a broken home but I just can’t say no to sex. I am not religious granted but I will probably start sleeping with guys at church. Please I need help. What should I do to fix myself? I really want to stop. I have reached a stage where I feel that not one person will ever satisfy me. I am scared to identify myself as a whore because I know deep down I am not this person but look at me now. This year alone I have slept with seven guys, one my sisters ex boyfriend. I am crying now. Please tell me what to do please!

Thank you Mike for your time.


79 thoughts on “Realities – Chapter Four

  1. Q.A Sisa, it looks like there is something missing in your life, you are not whole, what im trying to say is that you are not happy. it could be that maybe you are not happy with yourself or maybe of who you are. seems like you have letted go of yourself, your value as a human being… im not going to menyion that you have letted go of yourself as a woman! firstly try to realize what is that is missing in your life, after you’ve concluded with that try finding your inner self, have some time alone… go out, maybe that way you will learn to love yourself again (self-love) cause right now awsazithandi kwayiwena. after all that is said and done, get yoursrlf a boyfriend, date girl! you did not mention anything about dating in your letter.But before going on the dating route learn to love, trust and value yourself! asike siqale ngalokhu, if all fails. maybe you need professional help! goodluck Sisi

  2. Thanks for the good read Mike and the team

    @Q& A ill wait to hear from the panel cause my little sister has the same problem we live together im thinking of moving out because we always fight about this issue ga ana tshika ya aowa

  3. Sisa, I’m from a broken home in the township and don’t have a sex problem. I don’t see how this has anything to do with your problem, generalizing much!

    hope you find the help you’re seeking.

  4. Sisa, as cliched as this saying is, the first step to recovery is admitting your addiction. You say that you are not a sex addict but from what I’ve read and programs I’ve watched you portray the symptoms of a sex addict. Sex addiction is often misjudged because often people think that you have to be constantly horny to classify it as a sex addiction, but that is not always the case. You seem to have a constant need for intimacy, which is a symptom of sex addiction, and you sleeping around is your way of satisfying that addiction.
    Like many addictions, therapy is available to help you start your process of recovery. Addictions can not be beaten overnight, it is a process that will help you uncover the root of your problem and help you find ways to start eliminating this problem.
    Please do yourself a favour and watch the movie Addicted if you haven’t watched it before. It will show you how sexual addiction, like many types of other addictions (drugs, gambling, alcohol) can also destroy a person’s life.
    You are still young, and you can still turn this around. You must just start now before it’s too late.
    All the best neh

  5. Thanks Mikeesto, awesome chapter.

    I would rather not kick a female version of a Man’s best friend while its down, that’s just cruelty and I don’t need no SPCA on my watch. Sisa darly….. #Sigh


    1. Jackzorro, you are absolutely my favourite when it comes to advice, your bluntness is very thorough and hits the problem head on. However whenever there are sexual problems you become too cruel which is absolutely uncalled for, for example the lady with HIV/AIDS you carried on like the holiest of holies and today you are doing the same thing. Your comment could’ve ended with you saying awesome chapter qha. People don’t need your judgement but your advice and you’re failing these ladies that probably write trusting that you will be your usual objective self only to find cruelty.

      It is not on brother, andilwi qha ndibuhlungu ngendlela oziphethe ngayo to women with peculiar problems.

      From A Disappointed Sister

    2. @Jackzorro, hello boo. How have you been? I just feel so refreshed after the long week holiday I just came from. Missed you…
      @TO, I went over Jackzorro’s comment over and over again and also went to read the letter again about a million times. What exactly are you barking about? Did he, anywhere in his comment, insult Sisa? I don’t think so. Go back to the letter and read the part where she says “I am scared to identify myself as a whore…”. I agree with her because a whore, according to the dictionary meaning is a woman who sleeps around and actually gets paid for it, like a prostitute…
      a prostitute.
      synonyms: prostitute, promiscuous woman, slut, sex worker, call girl, white slave; More
      a promiscuous woman.
      verb: whore; 3rd person present: whores; past tense: whored; past participle: whored; gerund or present participle: whoring
      (of a woman) work as a prostitute.
      Where as a “b**ch”, or a “female version of a man’s best friend” like Jackzorro politely puts it is a female dog and we all know that a female dog gets chowed by every dog in the neighborhood and doesn’t even get a cent. So what exactly is she? And I am happy that she realizes that she is actually that

      I will post my comment on the subject once I am up to date with the books from where I left off.

  6. Sisa dear, I agree with what Tsaluuur said, do watch Addicted movie, it might help you. You’ll loose a lot, taba ekhi e hlotse le Jackzorro.

  7. Angsukume nokuzibongela ku Bhut’ Mike.

    Siso How you say you can’t stop yourself from sleeping with so many man and then turn around and say you are not addicted to sex is beyond me. You have an addiction sisi whether you are ready to admit it or not. Your healing process will start once yo have accepted that you are addicted to sex and seek help. Haay-ke eka Slo no “letted” has already been addressed by Pale so ngizoyiyeka-ke mina, lol.

  8. Kwaaaaaaaaa @ Slo. What did she do? “Letted herself? First time when I read that I thought it was a mistake but then you mentioned it again kwaaaaaaaaaa and then you wrote “im not going to menyion that you have letted go of yourself” menyion and letted, i’m sorry but I’m on the floor laughing I can’t stop laughing, you have just made my morning. Thank You.

    I will comment in 5 minutes still trying to compose myself

    1. I could highlight a grammatical error on your comment too hey? “Letted” other kids be because you never took part in financing their education. I can bet R100 you are the type that says “should of”instead of should have

  9. But didn’t the hubby have this child long before he hooked up with doc. If that’s the case then she’s being unreasonable. how was the man to know. If the child is a result of infidelity then by all means.

  10. auw Tshidi hle now am also on the floor laughing

    Doc u have not seen anything yet

    Maybe dad want to intro his kids seeming u not interested

  11. I hear people slandering slow for poor grammar and spelling mistakes.That is realy uncalled for.Would you please be kind to respond to the Q asked.Or put the shut to the up.Since Slo did the most humane thing than Me and the rest of u guys degrading Slow.Think people and stop ur cruelty.This is not high school or anyother schools u cn think of.It might be funny to you.Bt it is so childish.Correct a persn when he/she is wrong.There is no need for this.Grow up.

  12. Q/A: firstly u r an addict, secondly u r empty jst like an empty vessel, n lastly u r lost. U need to admit to ur addiction, feel the void in ur life n learn to love urself. U need to learn to love urself n know that u worth more than wat u think u do, my most important advice is there is only one person who can help u fully n u wI’ll b cleared, n that is God, he said come as you are and I will give you rest, Until you let him in ur life Ul never b complete, there will always b empty space in u which Ul want to feel with something n with u is sex. His blood was shed so we are free of sin, praying can b hard at times when we judging ourself, get in ur room, n tell God everything, he knows bt tell him everything from start, yes Ul find urself crying bt don’t allow tears stop you from talking to him.

    Another thing you can do have a close person like somw1 u can trust, tell that person wats going on n when ever you get tempted to hv sex call that person,

    Miss funie

  13. @ Ntswaki why are you catching feelings though? Its a Friday, laugh a little. Letted yourself laugh man. hahahahahahhaha

    Did Ntswaki just give Slo a new name? She called him SLOW! Guys please stop with these jokes, I can’t take it anymore my stomach is now in pains from too much laughing.

    Sisa my darling I think you just want to please everybody by everybody I mean all these men that you sleep with, remember one thing you will never ever please everyone on this earth. Teach yourself to say NO, start with small things like when guys asks for your number say “No” I know many will say all sorts of nasty things to you but be soo proud and arrogant that guys become scared to even talk to you, right now you seem easy to every Tom, Dick and Sizwe, you need to be the girl that doesn’t take nonsense from anyone, you not sleeping with these guys to get money so at the end of the day you don’t need any of them, tell yourself that they need you more than you need them and you can tell them to go to hell anytime you like. I think you lack self-confidence and that is why it’s soo hard for you to say no. The easiest way to get self-confidence back is to act high and mighty, think of yourself as better than these men, they are beneath you, walk and talk with so much pride even your Hello should come with an attitude that screams “you are nothing” that way these vultures that are taking advantage of you will fear you. I say fake self-confidence until you get it.

    Now wipe those tears off your face, fix yourself and remember that you are a goddess who will from this day on never let or allow any men to mess with her.
    I wish you all the best.

    1. Aunt Jackzorro! kwaaaaaaaaaa uke umbone? Dear Aunt Jackzorro…he should get a column on Bona magazine

  14. Great read Mr Maphoto, your work is incredible. ThankQ so much for such a wonderful work.

    Q&A I can only pray for you sis.

  15. I couldn’t help but laugh harder when I read ntswaki s comment about grammar..letted these people correct SLOW

  16. koda Tsidi nkos yam, yaz i do not comment but i just read amacomment yeeeeeeeey niyahlekisa, that is y i love you so much guys.

  17. hello skat this is not addiction the feeling of being wanted fulfills u and tis is due to the fact that u have low self esteem when these man want u it makes u feel good even if it’s for that moment. Start by loving and appreciating urself and how u look

  18. Tjo mare tanki mos Abuti Mike. U never dissappoint

    The last time I heard people laughing at someone for bad grammar was in primary school, grade 4 even! Come on mense ur ignorance is so uncalled for. Nd yes I spelled “disappoint” wrong. Please criticize me about that!!

    QA:#Give that girl a Bell’s

  19. Hi Sisa I think you need therapy. you are already on the right track for admitting you have a problem. see a doctor that can refer you to a psychologist.

  20. Thank you Mike!!!

    Q&A: Sisa go seek counseling. You seem to have a problem be it due to your 1st sexual experience or a need or an emptiness but letting another person help you figure it out and resolve or manage it will do you wonders! Use yo work’s Wellness Programme or find a therapist. It’s all confidential nobody will know unless u tell them. Pls don’t hesitate & u’ll benefit a lot. Good luck dear.

  21. anive ningazwani nomuntu ofrank 1st it was Jackzozo and now itsTshidi… anikahleni boh sometimes you need to “LETTED” go of you hair and life a little and just laugh into mayihlekisa iyahlekisa and as for #TO really uJackzozo is right the way she is behaving is just like a female dog she really needs help #Kayvee wayicaza kahle lento 🙂

    1. Let us LIFE a little as you put it! Gosh uhlekisa ngomnye umntana kwawena ungekho perfect. Look at you! Shame!!!

  22. Sisa…
    I live by these two rules – 1. In life, planning is everything; and 2. Commit your plans to the Lord.

    That said, I figure half of our problems as growing adults is that we rarely ever take time to sit back and plan what we do with our lives, assess who we are and where we want to go emotionally and spiritually – a self evaluation of sorts. We plan our careers and how to make money, etc but never spend time analysing who we are and what we want from life, what’s worth spending effort and energy over and what really isn’t. As a result, while we are busy ”getting degrees”, life is happening to us…we are falling pregnant, abusing ourselves, getting STIs and a Beacon’s assortment of garbage. Have you ever stopped yourself and asked 1. why am I doing this…really…what am I compensating for by sleeping around? and 2. what am I gaining from this? and 3. DOES IT MAKE ME HAPPY?
    This habit clearly has you troubled that’s certain. So why can’t you stop? Is there nothing else you can replace this habit with? Do you not have friends who can hold you accountable? Your letter portrays someone who puts up a ”happy” front to her friends and people around her…given that most people with bad habits try to hide them anyway. Speak to someone about this, someone who can hold you accountable – a friend who will not judge you (because you will not win this challenge by yourself)! Also, replace this with something else, something good and positive that you can do with FRIENDS. Surround yourself with people who care about you! You know what gets you in bed with these men, avoid it.

    A spade is a spade is a spade – whether you like it or accept it or not – the world would call you a whore because EVERYONE out there; murderers, thieves, whores…all of them, have a story to tell as to why they behave the way they do. Sisa, you need to break to reconstruct, and that comes from hearing things the way they are. You are abusing yourself! There is someone out there who can satisfy you as soon as you realise what it is you want satisfied.

    I repeat, self evaluation is important – DO NOT LEAVE performance reviews at work only! Perform them for yourself as well and set yourself standards and targets.

    PS: We live in a generation with very poor grammar so English teacher CALL THEM OUT. We also live in a world where people will laugh. Again I say, this blog should be relevant, in life, others will correct you; others will laugh at you AND OTHERS WILL NOT RECRUIT YOU! Letted is NOT a word (at least not in English!) We miss the point of your letter because we are so caught up by the poor grammar!

  23. Lol guys stop It… Some of us are at work. Can’t be laughing this loud. I haven’t commented on this blog for over a year now, I just read comments. But today because of Tshidilicious. I had to comment. Lol I hope you are not ghe one I know personally. Damn girl you are crazy yerrrr

  24. Great read bhuti Mike and Team.

    Hhayi-bo, nifuna ukuba famous ngoJackzorro na?
    Please leave him alone. I love you Jackzorro nama comments wakho. Welcome back Kayvee, missed your comments.

  25. Hahahahahahahhahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahhaa Mikes’ school of laughter.. I will not menyion how letted down I am by urla classmates of mine.. eish engrish mara.. wuuuuuuaaaaaaaa.. happy friday le weekend bo lovie. . Me loves url biggy biiiiiiiiig

  26. My best friend is an editor and always corrects our grammar, that’s fine, but for me the concern here is not that letted was corrected, which also caught me by suprise, its that people are making fun of a person whose emotional and mental state you don’t know, making fun of people is childish no matter how many people are doing it

    QnA: I will join the people praying for you! And support the one who said just say no! You are doing a great injustice to yourself dear.

  27. Yoh Q&A, I don’t think there is anything wrong if you like to get it on.There are so many question I would to ask you so that one can be able to give you correct advice. How does one get hold of you?

  28. Q&A-You are young don’t go wasting your life with so many partners. Rather find 1, you don’t want to be known as the neighbourhood bicycle whom everyone rode!

  29. khona abantu abazele ukuzogada uJackzorro la can yall leave the dude the fork alone and focus on the diary and qna jeeezus!!! ay suka maaaan idiots. wena Jackzorro i say carry on being you man, we appreciate honest blunt straightforward men like you, not people who will just comment to suit the person seeking help… FUCKERY!!!

  30. Dear Sisa

    I had told myself that I won’t comment when I read your letter in the morning but it kept gnawing at my conscience the whole day.

    I understand where you are and I will not attempt to suggest where it emanates from. There are many possible reasons. It could be that you have a void you’re trying to fill, you have an addiction or you just plain love sex. If this is making you unhappy, find out why it makes you unhappy and seek help. If you enjoy the sex and the absence of emotional attachment to your multiple sexual partners,then by all means go ahead. Most women are not liberal when it comes to sex and sexuality because they want to be socially acceptable and conform to societal norms. Society dictates women are expected to conform. If as woman you prefer to have multiple sex partners you’re a ‘female dog’ as Jackzorro puts it, but when it is a man all is well. Fuck that. You are no whore or bitch! You are just a woman who is sexually liberated is having one hell of good time satisfying her desires.

    As for the grammar. It is quite disgusting and shameful for people to be making fun of one’s error. I do not understand their misconstrued sense of superiority based on their command of the English language when they cannot even compose a properly punctuated paragraph in the same language. If you were asked to write a paragraph in your home language ukundweba kungaphela tu. This issue proves what kind of spineless cowards you all are. You are ass kissing attention seekers. If you really had issues with grammar how come I never see anyone correct Mike? In almost every chapter posted here there is always grammatical errors that make me cringe. No one has ever said anything and today you’re all on about grammar. Hypocritical. I bet y’all don’t know the difference between your and you’re or the difference between urgent and agent. So bitches, ya’ll need to sit the fuck down!

    Jackzorro as humorous as your comment was, I don’t think it was appropriate. It is more helpful to keep quiet than to speak hurtful words.

  31. Q&a girl self esteem n self confidence go a long a way. Stop availing/marketing yourself to these man bcoz they will take u cheap.keep yourself together and follow your conscience coz it is always there… Mcele uthixo and open up to him angekhe uzisole. Forget about the insults and those who laugh at your pain for they have no problems. Zincede lavi learn to love yourself njengoba uthixo ekuthanda n u wil find the green light. Believe in the inner beauty of your soul for it will keep you going forever and always. Wishing u all the best

  32. Mike the way your stories are so connected ,it’s amazing. Nelisa or N hmmmmm.i like it. You are good my brother.

  33. Mara sentle sentle le nale bothata le Jackzorro struuz asi..he didn’t insult her or call her names,what he said is something that we all know..logic ya hlokega here..please letted your mind work…

    Good Read Mike..@QA oh well dear its good that you are aware of what’s happening to you…my advice to you is to seek answers from the man called I AM..he’s very patient by the way and yours is required as well he does not have a phone but u can reach him through this fine gentleman by the name of Prayer..he helps those in need…I pray u get guidance and help…don’t think that batho will help you ey we will just laugh at you and add spices ka wena but only you can help yourself through Him..le lengwe lebitso ke Jesus Christ akere sesi Sisa!

  34. Sisa.

    I lost my virginity when I was 15. I had met a very experienced guy who made me believe that sex was everything in a relationship. Then he left me – “What about the sex I gave you?” That led to a downward spiral in my life. By then time I was 18 I had slept with more than 15 men, some whom I cannot even remember their names. But I was seeking the attention that I thought sex would give me. Men become so smart when they want pussy and as women become so stupid.

    I realised that I was just giving and giving and giving. Then I became emptier and emptier and emptier.

    Women crave intimacy, we love it when we are feeling good. And sex gave me instant gratification. It never lasted long.

    When I started varsity I was still in my habits bringing my total number to 21. This is when I realised I had to stop. I had to find a way to let go of all of this.

    I went to God. I told Him my struggle and how sorry I was. I’m 22 by the way. He forgave me. But the difficult part was forgiving myself. I would think about it and be so disgusted with myself and I was self loathing.

    How can sleeping with 21 men be forgivable? I had to talk to someone to let go of the guilt, the hurt and the pain. We had to find a root for my problem and deal with it then and there.

    Long story short, I have not slept with any one in 3 years. I admitted I had a problem, I surrendered my problem and I dealt with my problem.

    That is all you need to do my love. There is freedom in Christ.

    You are never alone.

  35. Chezz I love you… Thank you for that wonderful comment,that was on point.

    This blog needs more people like you.

  36. Sisa my dear you need deliverance from this addiction and its not ur fault it’s a generational curse,you are broken you must heal and God is the only one who can mend a broken heart.counseling it’s good but you need deliverance to deal with the root of this addiction.All the best

  37. Mike thank you so much for the wonder books but really now, must you always leave us with the unfinished stories, we still waiting for Thandeka, Nelisa and Mxholisi is now gone..

    Please Mike when are gonna get an up date of all other stories…

  38. Thanks Mike. This house is on fire (intersexion uqobo)

    Thanks Chezz, Farrah and DollyParton, your input is very constructive. I took pointers not just for sex but life in general. The reality is that we are all struggling with something. In your case its sex and I am sure you are not the only one.

    Hayi ke le yohleka umntu kubhuquzwe andiyazi. Nixhelelwe exhukwana sana ndiyakuxelela. ndakhula kuthiwa ugxeka bucala uncome esidlangalaleni but ke kusemhlabeni apha abantu bayakwazi ukubukisa ngomnye. Half the time ke its women, we totally fail to support/build each other up. Our self esteem is boosted when we are better than the next woman so it is no suprise that it would be women who find your predicament amusing as embarrassing as it might be to you. Pho ke sobasathini. Qina mntasekhaya ayikho enye indlela atleast now you know. Ndiqinisekile ngotitshalakazi aba baphethe ired pen oclassmate bathe gqezu intsini kumnandi…….primary school days.

  39. First of all… No one in the comment section has the qualifications to diagnose Sisa as an addict…

    Like she said… She can say no… That her only problem. She doesn’t have a backbone and perhaps she has a fear of rejection that is why she can’t reject other people. Sisa you need to see a psychologist or therapist ASAP, and you need to learn self disapline. It isn’t healthy to sleep around with soo many guys and still be able to sleep at night. It’s also not good on your reputation… And with that kind of continuos behaviour chances are you’ll never actually commit or find a guy that wants to commit to a lady with no morals or standards… If you feel the need to sleep with a guy during the first few days of knowing each other practice self mastubation before meeting up with that person or on several occasions just to get the feeling out of your system…

  40. Q&A
    darling, the people are right ,your are displaying symptoms of low self esteem and sex addiction.
    quick fix: get yourself someone who will satisfy your cravings and remember, before you think of getting a different flavor of sausage, your on a strict diet ,this is just to protect your honor .
    long term solution: look into getting therapy, please also look at the people who raised you and the roles they played, how is your relationship with your father, mother and how is their relationship between them?, this will go a long way into identifying what it is you are seeking from these men, or what it is you lack

    all the best.

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