Missteps of a Young Wife

MOAYW – Chapter Three

Mthobisi asked me what had turned me on that much. I told him it was the wine and he even said I must drink wine more often because that was awesome. Passion at times is taken for granted. He told me that they had finished early that’s why he decided to come home and spend time with me. I was happy to see him because when temptation starts creeping into your life you want your man to be there next to you. He also had good news he said. They were way ahead of schedule meaning that he would be home sooner than I thought. I had missed him so much and him saying that was such a huge relief. I wanted my husband next to me and not far away. I asked him if we could go shopping the following day but he said no because he had to go see his brother who was going through something with his wife Koketso. Typical. Only home for a few hours and already he was running off to his family. I needed him here saving his own marriage not saving others. I know its selfish but i really needed my husband right now. He promised he would make it up to me but in all fairness that joy was gone because I knew it would never happen. I felt as though I was being taken for granted.

There is such a huge difference between dating and marriage. A lot of people of people have this misconception that you just slide in from being a regte (main girlfriend/boyfriend) to being a wife. When you are a girlfriend say in your mid 20s and you have been dating a man for three years and above expectation start to rise and usually it does not even come from you but from the people around you. Your friends, girlfriends especially start making suggestive comments that you are next, or how they are waiting for a huge wedding because according to them the two of you have been together long enough to make your relationship the real deal. When you look at your friends they are surrounded with carcasses of dead ex relationships and it seems like misfortune seems to follow them. They even reach the conclusion that they are cursed with bad relationships and attract the wrong guys. I believe you mostly attract the right person but it is what you do with person that turns him to be either so wrong or so right for you. That’s the pressure in relationships. marriage on the other hand, first you are met with the relief of being one of the lucky ones because let’s face it, nowadays to get a good man to propose timeously its fortunate indeed. Then there is the engagement period, if you wait too long to evolve the engagement into a marriage then you might just as well be single because everyone starts to say the relationship is doomed. our man and you start fighting because lets be fair, three years under engagement is a pretty long time. Even if you move in together, should you get pregnant during that stage without a wedding in sight then in layman terms, you fucked up. Then comes marriages itself, the pressures that come with it are mostly at the beginning because even you love each other you do not quite yet know how to address each other. Your husband now wants to be the man all domineering and run the relationship like how he saw his father doing it growing up and stops being that guy you used to have sex in the car with. As black people once the wedding is over we switch off completely our old selves without actually realizing that it was that old self that made you work so well together. I look at other married people especially those that married whilst I was there and the sparkle is gone.

This was definitely a tell someone moment. Internally I was panicking for I had so many thoughts going through me. I called my best friend. She always told me I married too early but different strokes I guess. Her name was Azanda Nduli and we went to school together and had been friends for years. Her philosophy in life was different. She believed she could play men at their own game and her motto was whatever men can do she could do better. The modern woman, she called herself. She successful in her own just not conservative in her thinking. She had never held back her words when she said she thought I got married too early. She told me as a young lady I should have enjoyed my money for a few years, had my fun then settled down. She also said that much as she disagreed with my choice she would support me fully. As soon as Mthobisi left I called her and told her about last night. She could not believe me and wanted every detail. She said that with most marriages either you get bored and cheat (which was definitely me) or you divorce him just to be happy especially after you have been fighting to get off the couch!

Yes the couch, nowadays you don’t have men that do the garden, they hire someone else. That’s good that’s employment creation but if your man can only get of the couch to go to work or if you are lucky to gym them you have a problem. Mthobisi did not like going to gym with me because he called it his time, deep down though I knew it was busy he did not like the fact that other guys started at me at gym. So we went separately and as we both had cars it was pretty simple. All he did was come home from work and go through all the channels. I wasn’t much of a tv fan but the man was killing me. I tried to talk to him about his addiction to soccer but it turned into a fight. To his credit though every now and again he would suggest dinner or a movie but if I already cook every night and am not a tv person how is that entertaining! When we dated we did Cubana especially every few weeks, we were surrounded by friends and that was what added impetus to the relationship. There was never a boring moment because we always so much to talk about or rather gossip about. Yes, no one gossips more than married people because you start to see the world the same. Maybe that was it, I was failing to see the world his way for it had blinders!

Azanda asked what I was going to do next. I told that I wanted to confess because I was feeling so guilty about what had happened. She told me in no uncertain terms that it will be end of my marriage if I do so. She told me she knew so many girls who thought the love they thought the shared with their men will save them once they confessed but it ended up disastrously so I should just keep it to myself. I told her that I had no intention of seeing him again and I was happy with that decision. She laughed and said that would be a wise decision because once you open that door, closing is such a hard thing. I loved her, she seemed to have everything figured out. I asked her where she was and she actually surprised me because she was at a wedding in the Eastern Cape and not away with her new boyfriend. See, because I married so young I skipped all this going to weddings with my friends and meeting different people. I was shelterd and could hardly tie my own shoe laces without my husbands help.

I had a few groceries to do so decided to go to Pineslopes which is behind my place. Wifely duties I guess. I love the Spar there they always have the freshest of everything.

Whilst I was busy in there I got a call from Cindy, one of the girls we work with and she told me that we had been put on the contract to work with the company that did the presentation. She didn’t even have to say the name.

It meant for the next two months at least I would work hand in hand with Mfundo!

I was going to request a transfer on Monday!

****The End****

Mike Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)

Question: Anonymous: The pastor and founder of my church is sleeping with all the girls. he even slept with my aunt and tried to hit on me. I have so much evidence but I am scared of exposing him even though he is ruining a lot of young girls lives. He is married by the way. is it just in my church that this happens because my parents love him and I know i will be shunned if i publicly shun him. what must i do?

158 thoughts on “MOAYW – Chapter Three

  1. Mike yu rock,
    Answer i think you should talk to the pastor first and let him know your intentions

    wait am i the first ?

  2. Tnx mike ur doing very well 4 urself.
    A: yho I say expose the paster otherwise he won’t stop. Who would have thought gore sum people could scope so low tjo

  3. Hi Mike, great job you are doing. However would like the frequency to be a bit more regular. With the three diaries the wait will only get longer. All the best for the upcoming chapters.
    Reply to your question, do what you feel is right. It’s only a matter of time before something happens and you wished you had said something sooner.

  4. Poor young wife you are so naive, I see a trainsmash waiting to happen. A2Q Rather keep it to yourself its bigger than you, besides these things have a way of coming out.

  5. Expose the BASTARD . yoh finally some ish about church…… I always say church folks are idiots coz they refuse to see reason beyond their enslavement(christianity). Expose that loose pastor coz he is going to continue screwin even the next generations to come if a good soul like you decides to look the other way. Do it for society, do it for these born agains that think pastors are hollier than thou. Do it for women empowerement.

    1. I say expose the false Pastor. I wouldn’t go as far as calling Christianity enslavement, but rather a way of life. If it is enslavement then I guess we are all slaves to many things

  6. Q&A Dear I also know a lot of pastors who are doing that. One at varsity tried to make a move on me, I told one of the elder women in church about it. Last I heard, He got suspended. Tell your parents, your family will never choose a stranger over you. Good luck.

  7. if y’al hv Eva watched temptation den die is die kasi version it neva crosses ma mind 2 go out nd search 4 another coz i knw dat i partially hd a hand in his changing -big up mike

  8. thank Mike. for the sake of other girl i think u should expose him but in civilised and respected way cause evry1 would turn on u. this ppl play with the word bt what they dnt realise is that God is watchin & doesnt like ugly.

  9. Interesting read… As for this Pastor, he needs to be exposed for who he is!!! People like him give religion Christianity a bad name… By abusing the power they have and trust above all… What kind of church is led by a person who cannot practise what they preach? Sadly this happens a lot in a lot of churches,not only Pentecostal but mainstream churches too. People turn to religion for faith, hope, spiritual uplifting and following a path that helps you lead a life of kindness and love among other good qualities, not always easy but good to aspire to just looking at the 10 commandments for instance. The only way this Pastor can be stopped is if all the women and girls involved speak out and end this sooner rather than later!

  10. Not quite sure yet how I feel about this one? Feels a bit repetitive in format and the drama…but only time will tell.

    Q&A- That pastor needs to be stopped and you are the one to do it. However play your cards right 1. get evidence in any way you can not just a he said she said scenario anything like videos, pictures, speak to the girls he has slept with to “witness” should the need arise etc 2. speak to an elder first and show him/her the evidence or even your parents 3. let the elders handle speaking to the pastor and asking him to step down from his leadership role in the church. You cannot approach him yourself as a young lady and you have no idea what lengths he might go to , to shut you up e.g. he might say you were trying to seduce him or something then the whole story becomes about you proving your innocence to the whole trusting congregation and trust me they will believe him than you.

  11. To add to the Pastor scenario, the awkward and complicated thing is that usually a priest or pastors wife in the church is a trained counsellor who can listen to and advise people who talk to her about any problems they have… How then can people approach her about her own husband’s shenanigans? She may already know what he is like or be too blinded by love to see, so maybe someone else senior and trustworthy should be involved/ consulted!

  12. yooooh guys plz stop the ”yepppi am no.1” it sound childsh n stupid………..
    ..nyc mike hmmmm am addicted already 🙂

  13. Say what?!?! EXPOSE THE BASTARD!!! He could be intentionally spreading HIV to the congregation! It’s even worse if he’s sleeping with young unmarried women, coz he’s abusing his position of trust! He is no pastor, but a DEVIL!!! Expose him – today!!! Or I’ll get a court order forcing Mike to reveal your email address and the secret service / Intelligence (or whatever they’re called) will track and trace you and pop up at your church for a service. Just imagine this man sleeping with naive teenagers from your church or ladies he’s supposed to be counselling!!! Hell no, expose him! I’ve even forgotten what today’s story was about, that’s how upset I am coz of this question. Expose him on this blog if you don’t know where to start! Nnnx agha!

  14. Oh man I love MOAYW this chapter was so educational yet intriguing. I love the fact that I get to learn a lot of things that happens within a marriage, because MOAYW is not something you hear or read about daily cause it talks about real problems that married couples deal with. This chapter is such an eye opener. thanks Mike.

    Anonymous expose the pastor, but when you do that do it anonymously, because you wouldn’t want what you exposed to bite you in the arse do you?. What the pastor is doing is absolutely disgusting he is ruining young girls lives he is taking advantage of them whilst on the other hand he puts this good image of himself as if he is holy than thou and if you don’t put a stop to this right now there is a huge possibility that one day when you have kids he will do the exact same thing because he is so used to sleeping with young girls and nobody in your community is doing anything to stop him. If I were I would expose him #problemsolved

  15. i will keep reading till i enjoy it, till dn boring, at d gym, lots of hot ladies, guys dont stare, she will be d one worried abt her man staring at other ladies!!!

  16. A2Q expose the guy. & no it’s not happening @ your church only, we had 2 previous priests who were similar 2 yours… Both were having affairs with young females & also married women in the church so don’t really get why some pple go to church then knowingly, hypocritically & unrepentantly take part in such… Sad/angry how some pple idolise church leaders! After several complaints, lol, the bishop had them ‘transferred’ to somewhere else… 1 has changed but the other ironically mentioned that he only married his current wife coz she got pregnant, not the one he really loves so not gonna stop on the extramarital front… & by the way I now hear (from church members where he relocated to) that he now severely beats her up or encourages her to feel free to leave since shes unhappy, but funny thing is she’s still with him..,

  17. Dear Anonymous,

    Firstly why are you telling people about this drama going on in your church? Secondly what are you going to do about it. You are the only one who can report this man to the authorities with all the evidence at your disposal, if you can’t then give me his name and the church’s name I will report him for you.

    1. She is telling people because she needs advice on how to go about tackling the issue. Its a very delicate matter and she did good by asking first what she should do. I know a lot of people who wouldn’t even be bothered about something like this out of fear or just not caring what happens in other people’s lives. I commend her for posting this and I pray God stays by her side as she tackles exposing this fool who is using the Lord for evil deeds.

  18. So totally agree with @GeeDee, @ KaManyosi & @ Miss Moet that doing something, rather than nothing is the way to go. Also unfortunately, lol, have to agree with some remarks made by @ jackzorro re Christians. Yes follow your heart but don’t ignore your brain & conscience. Also this business of being quiet while bad/immoral things happen only perpetuates the situation that blatantly goes against biblical teachings Eg catholic church…

  19. Marriage isn’t a mud hole..people just c it in that way coz they adupt to false habits!..Rather change ur partner thn to look else where! *she’s going to end up like Jude from Temptation*

  20. so my comment from yesterday is still awaiting moderation and yet there’s already so many comments today?? You should be able to take criticism as a writer dude. I know you saw my comment and decided not to post it. Again i reiterate what i said, please check your spelling and gramma in your work because it’s getting worse by the day. If you still do not post this then I’ll be convinced you’re a coward. That’s all.


  22. The unswer: if a pastor of a church is involve in adulterous things with diffent fenales in the church, what I can be sure of is people in the church including your parents are aware of his premiscuos behavour but are turning a blind eye because of some reasons we are not aware of. We need to understand that if a church does follow the word of God from the bible and promote Holliness then it becames hard for people to eccept that since many souls out there are blinded by the evil cloud and at the end many pastors and churches will give an open door to such things because they want their church to be full and get rich. As a child of God I have learned in life no one is perfect and if I found a flaws on a church leader, I won’t go out in exposing him or her but I would pray and ask God as to how to approuch the situation as to not destroy others who are also in the firing line.

  23. The Q is complicated and irrespective of the responses and advice we give the ANON individual, she will face the daunting choice of whether or not to expose this man and if they will be able to bear the consequences of their actions. This is not just about the pastor, but also families; the community and children who will be affected by revelation of this “secret”. Young lady the only thing I can say to you is that you need to distance yourself away from this man, because as “an ordained man of God” he has much of an upper hand and an influence amongst members of the congregation and I can assume that him being close to your family and aunt, he has acquired some information about you that he knows he can use best to his advantage to get you in a compromising position. He may already know your weak points and what actions to do in order to provoke a reaction from you, irrespective of the outcome.

    Try and talk to your mom and ask her in general what she would do if she knew of a certain incident, taking into consideration that she would be young at the time and single, her response might give you an opening on how to try and approach the matter with either the church elders or both your parents. I would not want you to be in a situation whereby you rush to publicly expose him and he turns things over by saying you had made sexual advances towards him and when he refused you decided to tarnish his image by spreading malicious rumors to try and discredit him and dent his reputation. In this day and age there is a high level of status and power on pastors, which many have misused due to their own selfish desire.

    Psalms 1:1-2 “Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly,…..” you will not be crucified if you decide to leave the church and go and fellowship elsewhere, my dear we must all work for our own salvation, Ephesians 6:11-17 “Put on the whole armor of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places………”
    Pray for the leading of the Holy Spirit and the grace not to fall into temptation because his act is also backed by the spirits or whoredom and adultery, Ezekiel 16:15-37, and you do not wish to be encamped in the filth that will destroy your destiny. Remember every action has a reaction, and for him to make a mockery of God it is death, Romans 6:23, I have personally seen a man who thought he was above God and made himself a “demi-god and a sent prophet” by misleading people and bringing confusion, and the end result was death for him. Romans 12:1-2 “I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. And be not conformed to this world : but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect will of God.”

    Another thing is maybe they are aware of him sleeping around and have chosen to turn a blind eye to matter for fear of losing church members or the shame the scandal would bring to the church, many people are now more focused on the number of people that come to church but forget to feed their souls with the word of God and to teach them how to leave an upright life that will bring glory to God.
    My worry is how this will affect everyone involved when the truth comes out, and I would not want you to blame yourself if he is to get infected or infect other people because they have been victimized by a man they sought guidance from and he is taking advantage of them.
    Your aunt is old and I am sure she is well aware of her actions and the implications they carry, but people are now treating God like a mere man, they have no fear of God nor do they keep to His commandments.
    I am not painting myself as a saint or anything, yes we all sin and fall into temptation but the grace of God is new every morning to set us free from the captivity of sin and death.

    Focus on building your life and future, you are unique and the apple of God’s eye, and please stay away from that man, people may not understand or question you but you must do what will bring you peace of mind and joy.

  24. Get married too early at your own peril! You will find yourself married to a stranger before you know it. People grow and change as they grow older…that relationship that seemed rosy at 23 looks very different at 30. And a lifetime is a long time to be married to someone you have nothing in common with.

    Dear Anon – This is a staple in most churches. Let it be, if you can see it others are seeing it as well. People blive more in their pastors than in God his days. You may be victimised for outing their God just let it be!

  25. Its soooo sad how the men in the church take advantage of the trust we have in them. I can write books about the leaders including pastors at our church. Then we are told that we too are sinners and have no right to meddle in their luves. Ba tlatsa tlatsana le bana all over, ba senya di future tsa ba potsonono and at the end of the day they call the new age woman bitter. Sis man

  26. eish MOAYW neh, im 22 yrs old. engaged to the father of ma 6month old bby gal. Planning my wedding right now. we’ve being leaving together for 1yr n 3months now we a unseparatable, the love is fuming, i know he’s thee man for me is a was exposed to defferent relationship from a young age, have dated all kinds of man, Students, married man, men with cars, forein man u name them, bt nw MOAYW makes be scared of being separated by marriage

    1. Yoh i must say, for a 22year old, u’ve been around the block….. but let bygones be bygones. If you feel you’re ready for marriage and having one partner for life then jump right into it. But do realise though that unlike your past relationships, this will be permanent and if you can live with that then all the best Didi

      1. i came to leave in jozi on my own jst after i finished high skul at the age of 18 made friends with the wrong kind of group n i was deep in. Dats y a have so much exprience with men n i knw I’ve meant the one, i dont see myself cheating thou tomorrow is unknown bt i already know only bad will come out of it! he said he also has his own expriences n done with women, as his 26 n has a 4yr old with onother woman. He helps me in de house, he helps with evrything, his my friend. i’m not even scared of telling him hw having him sex was nyc or not nyc today, and we will talk hw we both love doing it, with which actions. n i wish to carry all this into our marrige. His perfect in my eyes! yes we sometimes fight bt it doesnt last. Thanks Jackzorro

  27. My advice to Anonymous’s dilema, do what the bible says in Matthew 18:15-17 . “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.

    After this you wouldve done your part and you have to leave it in Gods Hands.

  28. Ok this is getting all interesting but in all honesty…..i just miss Python, Guerilla and Thandeka….can`t wait for part two

  29. Ayeye 🙂 I think I am liking this story so far.

    To answer the question, I think that you should inform your parents as well as the church authority. They will know what to do. I mean what if he sleeps with everybody without protection and the likes? Its selfish and irresponsible, he has a wife and possibly children. Tell the truth

  30. A2Q:Tell your folks especially if he tried to sleep with you.Amd you have evidence that helps.He gives Christianity a bad name. And I just see so much of me in this book 🙂 Very interesting

  31. a to q: social media…. simple you can expose him anonymously and avoid being shunned if thats what you are scared of,post this evidence which you speak of there and name and shame mr pastor man and let ppl make their own decisions and conclusions

  32. Hehehe No Transfers cc you gona work wd him akere you bored wid ur marriage go 4 da fun…Q/A I of Some pastor that loves chicks too much its a stay and do not accept lift from him.

  33. Nice read Mike, thank you.
    Answer to the question: don’t go to the pastor for your own safety sake, these bastards are killers now. Write a letter to the church board and hand it to someone you can trust, there must be someone there you can trust that you can see is well respected. Tell them someone handed you the letter to give to that person. In that letter write everything, I mean everything one of them will check up on it and one story if not all, will raise enough eyebrows for an investigation. this is trully wrong.

  34. I love this story, becoz I can so relate..I am a married woman, also got married young, and I must say this to the other women!! Don’t get married while u are still very young…because these things have a way of catching up with U!! I never got to enjoy doing stuff with friends, I was so Naïve!! Nevertheless, I don’t regret marrying the man I am with now..I love him to bits..just that Routine does get boring, and u start to realise a lot abt how u should have done things!! And the temptation to eat stolen bread increases as U get bored with routine! Its not only man who get bores hey,, women too!!

    1. I can relate…exactly the same situation as mine. I like the fact that Mike is educating our fellow youngsters and all those who wants to get married in future. Marriage is not all strawberries and cream like we see in the movies, but it is not a death sentence either…it’s not as bad as people make it to be. Our experienses our different and the way we handle ourselves and partners contributes a lot. It all start with you as an indivual to know yourself and what you want in a marriage. It takes a lot of hardwork to maintain a happy, healthy marriage because it is not just the “two” of u, many people are involved at a certain level and that can cause a strain if u both are not careful about it.

      Marriage is a blessing on its own and if u ask God for guidance and strength all will go well and u will get to enjoy the benefits of being Mrs somebody…Afterall God is the one who made it possible. Enjoy guys and stay blessed!

  35. Get with the programme people. All good things must come to an end at some point. DOAZG is no more and if you have a problem with the Misstep, no one is holding a gun to your head, forcing you to read it!!!!

  36. Hey @ Jackzorro, ‘unfortunate’ that I have to agree with u becoz am one of those ‘church folks’ lol. BUT am not one of the idiotic or naive ones alright! Admitting that I do get where u r coming from based on the realities of life & what goes on…

  37. @ Kay I cant wait I think if I had to vote between all these stories id definitely vote THANDEKA naka njani that story is on my number 1 list…………..

  38. Confront d pastor with your fone recording,it’s gone take some huge balls,but some ppl in the church will stand by u,specially 1nc who’s children have bn victims,nd after,take this higher,2 d news papers,u would dffnitly have made your mark,regardless,some will hate,some will sheer,most will respect u,he no’s no 1 takes on pastors,this battle has bn shozen 4 u,unfortunately only u get 2 choose if u gone pic up your armer or not,good luck

  39. Gud job mike!Ans: I experienced the same thing bt we told an elder we trusted inthe church and the matter ws delt wt even thow most people and I left tht church coz even our pastors frends or visiting pastors dd the same thing intheir church even nw I trust no pastor bt I try to visit a churches once in a while no more commiting maself to a church so kunje nakwezinye icawe expose tht pastor the ryt way though!

  40. Great read mike, which is making me wonder if the readers of the blog are taking anything from the issues at hand. A: pastor or not he desrves to be exposed, more so since he is the head of the church & a prominent member of the community. find someone obective within the congregation and share this with them. You do have evidence after all.

  41. Mike I’m still upset about Thandeka! I’m not even going to read this diary. My loss I know but after over 800 comments on DOZG end on Friday you have still not answered your readers and fans about what’s really happening. Very disappointed in you. 🙁

  42. Ths kips gtn better n better…..dankie Mikey.
    A2Q – wud advise u 2 confess all ths 2 someone u trust bt certainly nt ur parents coz they’ll want 2 kip quiet as well n forget abt ths or jst dnt believe u. Try da church committee or report ths secretly/anonymously 2 da church council thn wooooalla prblm solved.

  43. Pls pls expose him, he’s gone too far.. What is he preaching. Mxm pissed. Ppl need to tell thje truth even the victims should speak out. I feel for his wife shame

  44. My opinion may be biased because I had grown so attached to DOAZG. MOAYW if okay for just chapter 3. The pace is a tad slow; compared to Confessions and DOAZG that started with a bang. I’m going to stick around cause you Mike; will never disappoint.

  45. My dear….get the pastors wife’s number and any member of board or any1 in the leadership then send the evidence anonymously to them

    Make sure that u sent to @least 4 ppl the same evidence…get a new simcard if u must…EXPOSE HIM usile yoooo

  46. Wow its so intresting Man bt Monday is so far away I cnt wait for the next chapter I’ll be bored to core this weekend 🙂

  47. It is a gud chapter mike thnx. We learning a lot!! Bt I’m very dissapointed in u cs u haven’t answered ur fans about DOZG over 800 commnts posted bt still no answer, tell us man what going on cs we lv dat story! Answr: expose that bastard, bt talk 2 an elder first and hear what she/he says if no way forward report it anonymously I know u will be helped, we don’t need those kind of pastors in this country, what is he preaching if he is doing like dat! He should rot in jail he deserve dat!

  48. Thanks Mike. Great chapter.

    I suggest you should not keep quiet. Especially if you have concrete evidence about your Pastors despicable ways. What he is doing could ruin someone life if not he has done so already. For all we know he could be a rapist and hiding behind his position to be overlooked. People trust this man even with their children, what if has molested them? He is a definite pervert, sick enough to hide behind a pastors rob. I know its not easy to do because you could be shunned and labeled. You could give a voice to others who are probably afraid to say or do anything about the pastors sinful acts. Talk to someone you can trust and maybe even your parents. You could receive the support and courage you need to expose this man. Our church leaders should be role models in the ministry in every way.
    I trust you will make the right decision

  49. The sad thing abt finding out rubbish abt uo priest o pastor is that u start loosing faith in God and da congregation. U question a lot of things and never find an ansa. What I suggest like the others is EXPOSE HIS ASS, get a cheap phone that can send mms’s, emails, watsapp ect, buy a starer pack that has already been ricad (they have those in all taxi ranks) preferably cell coz of the extra bundles and airtym. Get all the top dogg numbers including yo parents ect, create FB account and invite even yourself and other memebers of yo community that don’t even go to yo church, send everything from voice recording, videos, pictures, mms, post on facebook, email the works and expose is ass, let everyone know and if you even have a local radio station send them pics and whatever evidence u might have. Bloody @sshole maybe his infecting everyone with the virus telling them his DK will relenquish their problems. Yesses I hate this guy n don’t even kno him

  50. Nyc one mike

    Anonymous: unfortunately in dis situation wa e gapa o molato n still wa e lesa o molato. My only concern is de wife cz dis woman knw about her bt dy still choose to sleep with him. I hope to God dat he keeps her safe in everyway!

  51. This book is awesome….really exciting indeed BUT!!!!
    THANDEKA MIKE THANDEKA JO!we can just swiftly move on n get over ZGGTJHB…pls pls mike we enjoy the other books more when we know THANDEKA is there also

  52. Still waiting 4 zulugirl part 2. Anyway 2weeks is almost over. Gud work mikey….
    Q n A….. Expose dat devil pastor dear if u really care 4 u n other ladys.

  53. My friend is married to that so called pastor, she has stopped going to church cause she discovered all his evil doings

  54. there is nothing disgusting as people that hide behind the bible and do the complete opposite of what they teach. That pastor should be exposed, there shouldn’t be any tolerance of such behavior anywhere. What church is this? Isnt there lyk a church association where such things can be reported? Die pastor tsa die mpama! We need to unite in prayer to eliminate evil

  55. Thanx Mike. Ur work is great but now that I’m reading this story it all feels the same as the other 2. The way a chapter ends and even the words you use. Can u try and change the style or smthing cos its just a bit boring as if 1 knows what to xpect next.

    1. I share your sentiments lums. I was getting bored with Thandeka and her stories because it was getting very predictable. Even with the end of this chapter I could predict that this woman would come across Mfundo again. I bet you now, she will not take a transfer on Monday. Something else will come up.

  56. The three blogs talk about the same story but told by different people. Thandeka is dead atleast thats what i would like to believe, how can she tell a story when she is dead? the MOAYW is told by uncle Benny’s wife i think. N and uncle Benny’s wife will continue with the story beyond Thandeka’s death

  57. LOL…I wash my hands with you my son.

    Your next book should be, “How my friend Got me back!” lol…Soprano’s

  58. Thanks Mike for a good read once again. Answer: I suggest you expose the b*stud, how could he be working for God & do such. He’s a disgrace.

  59. ah Mike, o ntja san! the beginning of diary was a memory of varsity 1st/2nd yrhood and glad to have outgrown but ths ryt hurrrr is th sh*t! i think i relate with the bestie there, can’t wait 4 more. o future san!

  60. Mike I am n will always b your number 1 fan!! Mwah!! @ my fellow bloggers, this man is good at what he does,his books are informative and we as young people can learn a lot from his stories. MOAYW is a guiding tool coz honestly speaking we all know these things are happening in real life

  61. Thanks Annonymous for bringing dis question up…I go to charismatic church, my So called Pastor does the same and with us seeing that most church youth (Girlz) like hm a lot and they take hiz side. Almost 95% of young girlz r dating him. The pastor iz so rude, I wz once amongst da people who confronted him abt a 16 year old he wz dating, He said a curse or cursed me for doing that. Its soooo sad n painful coz he iz married. He telz these girlz dat he doesn’t love neither enjoy hiz wife bcoz she iz wet, just imagine. Pastor n hiz wife are 30yrs of age young neh, and pastorz wife iz well educated n indipendent bt she iz too soft to notice, she doesn’t know anything abt her husband infedility. Most elderz know and otherz hv decided to live da church…

  62. Answer to question: I know how you feel. But in my case it is the youth leader having sex with the girls. He lies about things to be done in church just to get them alone.

  63. Thanx Mike, lovely as always.

    A2Q: I find what the pastor is doing disrespectful to women, the church and everything he represents – obviously the women are letting him.
    My advice wud be to talk to an elder at church or even your mom. They wud know what to do.
    Still this may not end well for you – u may be seen as a little troublemaker and be shunned, but remember, the only thing necessary for evil to prevail is for a good man to do nothing – hence the state of our country, but that’s a topic for another day.

  64. the more i read the more i realise i’ll probably end up like this young wife…i dont want to get married.!

    Even now as we dating i can already see the warning

  65. @Teetee…very well said, I couldn’t have said it any better. Marriage is NOT a death sentence, it is so beautiful with it’s challenges! And indeed there are so many people involved it’s not just the two of u.
    @Didi, you need to introspect yourself darling, you are living in the fast lane. You are very young and it seems like you have no guidance from elders (judging by the fact that you came to jhb alone).

  66. Typical of a female! They r good at destroying their happy lives & realise when it is a little too late that their lives r every girl’s dream. I don’t know why ppl can’t fight,the temptation below the belt!

    Q&A: Start by telling ur parents & showing them the evidence u hev!

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