May 4, 2013 - ZuluGirlGoes2Jhb    99 Comments

Chapter Two

Nervously i composed my self and was not about to embarrass my “cousin”. I smiled and offered my hand to shake but the gorilla would hear nothing of it. He hugged me lifting me up in the process. I am sure with the shortness of the dress i was wearing the hobos who were lurking around got a good view of my exposed buttocks. I am light skinned, a yellowbone to be exact so when i blush i turn beet red and that was me at that moment. “You neglected to tell us she was this beautiful S whats up with that” he said as he opened the door for us. I must admit in all my life i have never seen a man open a door for a woman. Not in KZn. What? Shaka would turn in his grave if a Zulu man did that. Our man are uptight like that. I wasnt flattered though because i had fear in me. My parents hadnt even reached the second toll gate and already I was dressed like a prostitute, about to go out with men i had never met and worse Nigerian men. What was i doing? Tomorrow i will have to give S a piece of my mind for i am not that girl but for tonight i will not embarrass her. Look i have been in many cars in my day, nothing fancy but many. When the engine of this E63 pulled off i swear i could feel my body vibrate. I tried my level best to keep my legs closed but this man was driving so fast i kept falling sideways opening them wide in the process. I got the impression that the gorilla was doing this on purpose for i could see he was looking at me every time he made a sharp turn. I had nowhere to hide, i was exposed. I was so relieved when we got there and in bright lights there it was … HUSH! i had heard so much about this club something familiar at last.

When we got to the door we didn’t pay nor wait in the very long line. The bouncer knew our Gorilla whom I will call G from now onwards. They spoke in their language for a minute or two then we walked through. I could here people grumbling and complaining but the bouncer who also was built like a mountain just looked at them with a disgusting look as though they were carrion. My fellow countrymen made to look pathetic but did i care? Nope. i was in so better them than me. The music was pumping hey and everyone there was dress like me and S. Now I was a bit grateful that she ahd made me change because I would have look pathetic. I could also see why she wanted me to change my hair lol. I was the only one with it and yes amongst all these girls it looked kasi. We were ushered into V.I.P. by yet another Nigerian guy but he wasnt as big as the others rather athletic. It hit me at that moment that South African men next to these guys looked like little boys. These were men! We sat down on the impossibly low couches which again made it really hard to keep my legs closed but looking at S she had no problems whatsoever. You could tell she was a pro at this.  They asked us what we wanted to drink and immediately I said coke because i was uncertain of myself, the new environment and the company we were in. S asked for a bottle of sky vodka of which G took out a wad of cash. i couldnt help it but say out loud “Imali eningi” and thank heavens  the music was too loud for anyone to hear me. Growing up i got pocket money but i don’t recall ever seeing such a large amount of money in one place. I asked for the bathroom and S took me. When we were there we took a few pictures in the bathroom for Facebook in all poses pouting snarling you name it. I asked her casually what G does for a living and she casually said he owns two hair salons in Jhb. They must really cut a lot of hair neh!

I didn’t know my “cousin” could dance this well. She was the church girl and choir girl back at school. She was even our head-girl in her grade if i can remember . There she was gyrating her hips on the table whilst all these old men in our group were drooling and imagining all the nasty things they would do to her. She was causing a scene as far as i was concerned and embarrassing us. I chatted to a few friends who were still updating their bbms that late telling them i was at Hush. Some were envious whilst others warned me to be careful. I drank my coke but eventually i was on to cidars. S once or twice offered me her sky vodka but my stomach was not ready for that. Bak home i could only handle my drink after I had had a solid meal and KFC was hardly it. Besides  it would certainly not be cool to puke in an E63 i told myself. I was getting tipsy soon enough and dancing too. Not on tables though for imagine the scene if i fell off. The guys who were four by the way with another girl whose name i dint quite hear when we were introduced didn’t really dance with us nor try to touch us. Maybe they were gentleman after all. Around 3am I was getting tired and remember i had traveled so i wanted to go home.  I told S this and she said it was fine just give her time to say bye and speak to G to take us home. That took about an hour but eventually we walked out. As we walked some idiot touched my ass and before i could turn to see who it was angrily I just saw someone flying to the floor. It was a South African guy half the size of G who had taken his chance with the wrong girl. I am sure he was unconscious but G and the rest of the guys we were with walked us out as tough it was nothing. G is the one who had punched him mind you so you can imagine. I was excited, angry, tired at the same time so i didn’t care Served him right for touching my ass. S seemed a bit annoyed by it all but didn’t say anything.

We were escorted like VIPS into the car and everyone was staring at us. It felt amazing to ave all these eyes on us even though it was a bit disconcerting. inspite of my kasi weave i know i looked hot in S’s dress and now that i was tipsy keeping it dow was another mission. S and G were walking holding hands whispering lovey dovies. With his accent i could hardly hear what he was saying and i was tipsy nonetheless. His friend was walking with me. He was polite and as G had said was fresh off the boat meaning he had just come from Nigeria. He was a bit shy and i felt i intimidated him a bit. It was a bit chill considering the lateness of the hour of which he gave me his jacket. G made him drive so he and S can have the backseat. Here i was front seat of this magnificent car wow. if only my high school enemies could see me now. The music was pumping in the car and the fatigue was forgotten. I could hear S asking why she cant sleep over and he was just saying he had things to do. It went quiet in the back seat for a moment and being the inquisitive person that i am i looked back to catch a glimpse of S sucking on his dick tjo!!! i was so embarassed. I shouldnt have looked. I didnt know what to do. Thank God his eyes were closed and he didnt see me turn. She didnt see me either as she was stuffing her mouth like a hungry child after a long day at church. I just wanted to go to my room. Fortunately it wasnt too far.

We got out of the car and G said something to the driver in their language and they both laughed. He must have underestimated S’s grasp for the language for immediately S turned to him an snapped “Next time dont touch my cousins ass and pretend it was some other poor guy whom you can bully because he is so small” and she walked away angrily. G, my “cousins” boyfriend? was the one who had touched my ass and that poor guy  the had punched had been in the wrong place at the right time!


I ran after her to apologize because I did not want to be caught in between I was after all a victim in all this. When we got to the stairs out of site from G who was still calling after her S was smiling from ear to ass. I asked her why and she turned to me and said,
“When he apologises he is going to give us so much money so its a win for us!”
and that was that!!!
MY COUSIN HAD JUST PIMPED MY ASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The End


  • Your narratives is awesome.Being a Nigerian myself,i am thrilled to read about us.Though it maybe in a negative context or as the case maybe,i am sure enjoying it.

    Off to Chapter 3!

  • I think in this case its true when they say nothing is what it seems hey !

  • heee diz is getting interesting! awesome writing

  • AIY zulu girl atleast she went back to her placee safely. What next?

  • so interesting especialy that i can relate……… off to the next page

  • I guess this means team no sleep because, Ish just get moore and moore interesting…

  • Zulugirl went home safely, What’s next.

  • Off to Chapter #3 nd i knw wat is to follow nxt> things gals do.

  • im loving this ive been also exposed to such an enviroment but i made the right choices as i do not have any regrets………. i wanna read more.

  • Mmmmhh interesting # as i go to chapter three#

  • Wow I really love this I enjoyed reading something different after my exam

  • Interesting my days of watching soapies are over …

  • I’m getting emotional already I feel like its not gonna end nice to think gore this is the naked truth tjo! Pelo ya ka e nna botlhoko ka gore there are so many girls out there who have low self -esteem and seek comfort guys like G

  • The narrator is doing a gud job lets carry on

  • great, very interested *as I go to chapter 3*

  • Yerrr!! Ma african Tyler Perry!! Don’t mean to compare you!!
    I am enjoyin’ dis…n u shud consider makin’ Movies!!

  • again…. enticing *tjo*

  • Hahahaha church-girl goes wild and turns into a pimp as well…(Next)

  • Oh i,m so loving this my day started boring untill i remember hearing about the author on kayafm now i,m soooooo hoooked

  • Chaptr 3 m on u now. @least she’s noble enough 2 slp on her room wat an interesting nyt she had. (02:05am)

  • wow what an intresting book, off 2 next page

  • Its official I am hooked…flips the pages

  • Next page please this is just so awesome, being a book worm myself I find this story so interesting and luring…..

  • Wow speechless on chapter 2 is the chapter 3

  • I am loving this shoooooo!!!! is like i am watching a movie….

  • wow,interesting and I can relate to it.

  • WOW!!!I LOVE IT,it takes me bck to some of my past memories!

  • Yooh! Breathtaking , truestory.

  • Awesome stuff neh…I’m hooked!!!

  • hhhhmmmm.

  • i sum how feel offended da way u literally potray the nigerians and south african guys……

  • Oh wow!!!!! Lmao! S is quiet a causin……I’m on to 3!

  • Am already learning something and I believe this won’t be milk n honey

  • Haha this is so funny,I really love it!!!!! On to the next chapter!!!!!#EXCITED

  • This is gettin more fascnatin thn I nvr thot..gr8 wrk honey…thnk god u gt safe..*eyelishes flipin an awsm ada chapter*

  • I am thoroughly impressed…wow this is brilliance at work

  • girl this is an interesting read but you sometimes go off course for no reason at all.(you capture the reader’s imagination but loose it again because you write about something completely diffirent )

  • Ya ney City of Gold cn change people huh! No matter how u grown up… I’m totaly convinced I cn’t wait 2 move 2 charpter 3…

  • Damn! S is a sluty,a gold diggr who cn do anytin 4 money.she bad,hw dd she mit up wit ths guys. I wondr bt i lov d story plus it warm othr kzn gals tht jozi its nt 4 farm gals.

  • Wow! i never laughed like this in a while. nice & easy read!!!!!! will def get the 1st copy if it gets published. Im in marvel already.

  • Dzamn m lovin dis vry much hey! Thnx 2 Zandie 4 recommendin dis 2 me! Gr8 story!

  • Wow…can’t wait 4 chapter 3.
    Real jozi life

  • #jaw_drop….Damn intresting tjo :) ….off 2 de next page

  • Heeeeeeeeee I hv a flling dis won’t end up ryt,zulu girl I smell troble here

  • Can’t blv money can buy Pple’s happiness nd myk dem du nasty thngs#gezzzzz*dissapointd*

  • its gettin hotter and hotter.

  • Lol at pimped ass. It is so well written that i saw the whole thing as i read it. Even blushed at what was happening at the back seat! U good Mike.

  • very interesting talkin about bein a rural girl i hope she learns how to sit like lady naye as for gorrilla lmao hes killin me s is avery smart youn lady i hope esho eya ku*chapter two*

  • Wow ! I’m impressed about the writing skills. The narration its way too profound ! Anyhow ,i guess S knows how to play her cards.

  • OH S is very naughty

  • Tjo!! S just like that at the backseat of the car.

  • “……and worse Nigerian men..” « Offensive but fckit!! Chapter 3!!

  • Interesting “cousin” kodwa haykhona, bad influence

  • Okay this is getting more interesting..I just hope da Zulu girl doesn’t adapt into da things S does in order to get cash and fame!But judging how she concludes things with her thoughts tells more of how disciplined she is but at da same time enjoying da sensation of living “Thee Life”..

  • Money makes the world go ’round n ’round………what can we do about that!?!

  • I tried my level best to keep my legs closed but this man was driving so fast i kept falling sideways opening them wide in the process. I got the impression that the gorilla was doing this on purpose for i could see he was looking at me every time he made a sharp turn

    you make me laugh even though its painful!!!

  • Just started with the book nd Im hooked already!

  • Noh eix this is so exciting, wanna

  • Lmao stuffing her mouth like a hungry child frm church u r a great writer I must say

  • And then what happened

  • yoooohh i have to sleep but im hooked and i know i’ll be dreaming of this

  • Wat a story,reading while wlkng,neh ke tjona,gud 1

  • Eyah the things we do just for a little attention is trully going to be a follower of urs,i like the fact u talk about things that r happening not only in Universities but all over in the townships too

  • Wow interesting.

  • is it ok to follow guyz for their cash n cars wow i wonder wht the couzin will end with…*so whts next anyway*

  • Dankie G

  • wow im not a person who lyks 2 read bt hey cant wait 4 more,bring it on!!

  • Wow,you sure can tell a story. Chapter 3….

  • That’s some total intriguing shit right here. Mmmmmm awesome…now let me proceed.

  • Chineke

  • Wow this is real and this article is raw like that. True story

  • Dis sounds interesting

  • Omg

  • Interesting yoh

  • wow! very interesting

  • Gosh i feel lyk im ryt der living their life, cnt wait 4 wt happens nxt

  • Lol yoh S knows how to get easy cash yoh

  • Hahah wow pretty much that “G” is falling for the yellow bone! And this cousin of yours is more notorious for an awkward reason!

  • Yoh GORRILA its like i can see the guy…nice chapter mfwethu

  • Thank you for such a wonderfull story I can’t wait 2 refer this book 2 my frnds but the problem I hv is fleeping 2 the next page, so I was asking if its not possible 2 show 10 comments and put next after it so that those who r interested in reading them can do so and us who want 2 finish the book can do so without having 2 pass all the comments b4 going 2 the next page its actually wasting my time. Thank you 4 ur kind consideration.

  • I am so enjoying your writting. Chapter 3 here I come :)

  • On to the next Chapter, Imagining all this characters already.

  • Yo my dream Car E63 AMG with the costume made leather sits imagin it in Goldy RED OucH

  • Awww Zulu the first tym in Jhb and start partying, at least u r back home safe, let me hear what’s happen after that, hmmmm can’t wyt

  • Awww Zulu girl the first tym in Jhb and start partying, at least u r back home safe, let me hear what’s happen after that, hmmmm can’t wyt

  • i am sooo enjoyin this. i must be late though cz m still on chapter 2

  • Yooooooh its 2am in the morning and I just woke up and a friend of mine suggested that I read this! Am agry at her for not have mantion it eairly off 2 page three

  • I am going to tell ALL my friends about this! Almost everyone can relate to this! hahaha…I am enjoying!

  • Yoh am enjoying this,almost the first year student especially those who came from rural area does this,what an excellent writing,”still reading it”

  • hei…….suckin wat!!!!!!!!

  • Hu I was woried dt u wnt go bak 2 ur plc bt u got de safely. I gues u gona fall in luv wit G s frnd.

  • should have read this blog 1st time i heard of it now im hooked…!

  • mmmmmmmmmmm interesting hai sm grls mara hai tjo

  • This online book is keeping me awake even though I shouldn’t be.

  • WOooow just started reading but I can sense more action onwards hehehehe #OnToTheNextOne

  • I think I don’t like G

  • this is soo interesting cant believe I only knew about this yesterday. S and G though ae…

    off to chapter 3

  • Joh what mr G n S’s girl wow what the game

  • Hmmm… i can’t wait to read the next chapter.

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