Ladies listen, you teach a man how to treat you. This is super important. Don’t listen to these so called woke zealots who tell you that its not their job to teach a man how he must treat them. What kind of forward thinking bullshit is that? All men are different, say it with me and put some chest in it, all men are different. We are the same gender that preaches that all men are the same in a negative light then in the same breathe are the ones who treat all men the same. Its important to get this right, you teach your man what makes you happy and what you enjoy not because he is a child but because you are a new person to him. We all hate it when a man treats us the way he treated his old girlfriend because you say you are not her and have your own needs and wants. That’s why you must teach him who you are this way he should never make mistakes of the past. Kuhlonishwa kabili never forget that.
“Ada, you know there is no man in the world I respect more than you. There is absolutely nothing I would not do for you because you have done so much for me.”
I started to tell him and his face was blank as I think he knew where this was going.
“I am not going to sit with you as your second choice. If you wanted me to come with you tonight you will have asked me yourself because you knew I was coming back to Johannesburg today.”
He tried to speak as Abedi took a sip embarrassed for his friend but I stopped him,
“I saw you enter, yes I lied and I lied because I saw you enter holding Tshiamo’s hand! When I moved into the flat Abedi, do you remember the warning you gave me?’
I asked him,
“Yes I do!”
He responded like a good little boy,
“The same is true with me. If ever I see you hook up Ada to any of Zamo’s lice I will cut off your balls myself. Your friend does not deserve such disrespect and neither do I!”
I warned him.
“Good evening gents have fun!”
I told them and I walked away. My heart was beating so fast and I thought one of them would run after me and strangle me for my insolence but no one did. When I got back to the table I sat down and drank a whole glass of my champagne at one go.
“And then? Are you ok?”
Zamo asked me sitting next to me. I was ok. I was nervous. I was ecstatic! I was triumphant. I was all those emotions in one but even more important I was scared. Had I gone too far?
“I will be fine. Lets just say that Zamo was sent home so lets raise a glass…”
I told her pouring a new glass for myself. Nthabiseng who was sitting on my other side hence heard everything joined us in our toast,
“To the real bad bitches!”
We drank and we screamed with excitement. For people who go clubbing the music only gets better after midnight and now because I was tipsy, ok maybe drunk I found myself dancing on tables. This was turning out to be the best party I had ever had. Zethu and Nthabiseng my partners in crime were having a good time too. Around 0130am some guy tried to join our circle but because he looked dodgy as he was too drunk we chased him away. The man would not take no for an answer. He grabbed Nthabiseng’s ass and she pushed him away. Zethu and I stood with her ready to defend her when he came back to try and hit her. All I saw was a man flying backwards in the air. It was Ada. He lifted that man with one hand and sent him flying like a rag doll in a whirlwind.
“Time to go!”
He said without even bothering to look where he had landed. I wanted to protest and remind him he was not here with us but he spoke before I did and said loudly,
Yup, the party was over.
I said in a mock salute teasing him for his authoritarian tone. The guy he had hit, I had forgotten about him suddenly leapt up with a bottle in hand. I don’t know where he got it but he was halfway through the air when Abedi punched him had sending me him crashing to the floor. He must have passed out because he did not get up. I could hear his friends shouting,
“Makwerekwere bullying South Africans! These people must go!”
But not one of them approached. They called Abedi and Ada that because their fellow drunk South African brother had tried to hit a woman. When that had failed he had tried to hit a man with a bottle but according to them because they were foreign they were at fault. Small minded people. I will put South Africa first the day it puts its women first. We walked out immediately because it was now not safe for us to stay even if we wanted to. I was so scared that they will start a riot or something but we are cowards as a people and can only do things as a group.
“Are we getting a cab?”
Nthabiseng asked when we got outside.
Ada said and no one questioned it. How could we even do that?
“Shit, we didn’t pay the bill!”
“It’s been covered!”
Abedi said. We had drank at least five bottles of champagne meaning that bill was at least R5000. I did not even know what to say at this moment because one of the things that Ada had told me early on in our relationship was that he hated girls who behaved like drunkards. Even to this day I did not wear a weave. The rest of the trip and even when I asked for McDonalds as was customary the answer was a stiff no. At some point in what was a 30 minute trip I passed out. I don’t remember anything that happened until I woke up in the morning next to my girls at my place. They were passed out too. I don’t remember changing into trackpants but I was wearing them. It was already after 10 am. I had a hangover and I needed hang over food. There was no bread because I had just come back and I also did not have the energy. My phone rang and it was a number that I did not know,
“Hi, its Abedi!”
“Oh hi. What happened last night?”
I asked him.
“I can’t remember getting home!”
I told him.
“That’s a surprise considering the scene you through last night!”
“Scene? What do you mean I cause a scene? You are lying!”
I told him. I tried to think hard but nothing was coming to me at this moment.
“Look, I just wanted to make sure you are alright that’s all. You must talk to Ada when you get a chance because clearly you have a lot to talk about!”
He said to me and before I could even say anything in return he hung up. That was so convenient now I was scraping through my brain to figure out what I had said or done. I had to wake up one of the girls because waiting for them to wake up was not going to happen. Their beauty sleep was not more important at this stage than my sanity. Zethu was the better drinker amongst us as she could handle it slightly better than Nthabiseng so she was the one I woke up.
“Mfethu, what time is it?”
She asked me as soon as she woke up.
“That’s not important, what happened last night?”
I asked her.
“You woke me up because of that?”
She asked me a bit annoyed.
“Zethu come on, I cannot remember and what’s worse Abedi just called me telling me I caused a scene last night. I don’t even remember what the scene was about!”
I confessed to her in despair,
“Udakwa rough shem, you should never drink like that ever again!”
She standing up to go pee. I followed her to the bathroom and she could see I mean business.
“When we got to the car you asked for McDonalds and they ignored you. You then made a comment that if it was Zamo and Tshiamo they would even have driven to Pretoria to get them food had they asked!”
She started and this was blank to me. I had no idea what she was talking about.
“You really don’t remember do you?”
She asked me and I shook my head in the negative.
“You were on fire. You don’t remember telling Abedi that he was the problem as he was the ones who brings girls to Ada.”
She said laughing at me but I was not finding any of this funny at all. This was out of character and beyond humiliating.
“Please tell me I did not throw up?”
I asked immediately remembering Zamo’s incident at the first party.
“Throw up? Dude you did worse!”
She told me.
“What’s worse than that? No please Zethu don’t scare me!”
I asked her.
“We were at some traffic light and you decided to get out of the car because you were so angry. You demanded Ada come out and when he did you started crying accusing him of messing with your feelings. How do you come up with this shit Samke, you were a brand new person yesterday!”
She told me but all this seemed liked fiction to you. What the hell was she talking about? I know I was super drunk but sure such things one remembers right?
“What do I do now?”
I asked her.
“I am not done. You told him he needs to stop being insecure and step up like the man you know he is. He must grow a set and treat you like you matter!”
She added. I was in shock. This was not the me I knew. I would never have spoken to him like that but with my hormones all over the place since the fight with my father was not really sure about myself anymore.
“I am getting kicked out for sure!”
I told her.
“Honestly after last night I am sure at the very least there will be consequences. Call him and apologize before he calls you!”
She advised me. This was the second time today that someone was advising me to speak to Ada. This cannot be good.
“You guys are so loud.”
Nthabiseng said stirring for her sleep.
“I have a massive headache and I still smell your puke in the bathroom Samke!”
“Zethu I thought you said…”
I asked her in horror but she cut me off,
“Relax you only threw up when it was just us girls in the bathroom here. No one saw they were gone!”
She explained and I breathed a huge sigh of relief. My phone suddenly vibrated out loud and it was a text message. It was from Ada.
“Friday by 10 in the morning I want your bags packed and ready to leave.”
That’s all it said. I had just been kicked out. O Nkulukulu wam Ngiyenzeni manje!