I must say that girl world is one of the most difficult terrain to navigate. For some reason amongst us as women we managed to over complicate our relationships with other women. Every girl knows that you do not just tell a friend that her man is trash because that could very much end up being the end of your friendship. This is something that was not made by men but us on our own. I looked at her beaming with joy that she had just said yes to a man who was so drunk yesterday it was embarrassing. We talk about red flags but only point them out when it comes to others never ourselves.
“You said yes? Yesterday I thought you said that you were not too sure about him, what changed?”
I asked her because I remembered her demeanor from last night.
“I have been single for so long and I just want to experience something different. I am only in second year so I am only young once.”1\
She said explaining herself to me. I have heard this you only live once argument and it always made me wonder if it’s necessary to go through a whore phase before finally settling down. It’s your body and your morals but it has quite become our psyche now as we say empowerment what not.
“Did he play today?”
I asked her as I remembered they had a game. Her friend Nthabiseng had to leave early because of that if I recall. I was a bit confused now on whose who,
“No, he is injured and was given off by the club!”
She told me and I stopped asking questions because I should also not seem too interested in her men. I was looking for an angle to tell her that her man was a problem but she seemed so happy at the moment.
“Are you dating the big guy?”
She asked me.
“No he is too big for me. I am terrified of him and I only met him this weekend. Would you believe he gave me R4200 to say happy birthday to me!”
I told her and she laughed and said,
“Do you realize how lucky you are? Other girls will never get this in their lifetime. You need to consider it to be honest unless you are ready for the drama these so called men of ours will give you!”
She told me in what was essentially a matter of fact manner. Are men all the same? Ok that’s a dumb question but could I see myself with a foreign man even if it was just an experiment. I don’t think so. It’s just not how we are raised.
“I don’t know. I have never dated a man for money or let me put it this way rather, I have never dated anyone with money!”
And at that we both laughed.
“Here is what I believe, beauty is currency. You have to be as dumb as a rock to not see that if you don’t use your beauty to get places then you will actually always be ordinary in whatever field you are with. What is worse is that you will be ordinary and people will still say that you got there because of your beauty making you mediocre!”
Again another thoughtful thing she had said. I asked her about her history and she told me that she went to Kingsway High School in Amanzimtoti. Their family was not rich but they had decent jobs. She had passed well enough to get a scholarship which is what paid for her apartment. It made sense because this girl even had DSTV. How many students do that?
“I am scared that Zamo is not going to let what happened today die though? I am expecting something to come my way!”
I told her. She agreed with me and advised me to be vigilante.
“Can I use your phone I must call Katlego so that she can know that I am ok and all is well!”
I told her. I was now used to checking in with Katlego because that was the system we had established between us. I had left her a message telling her where I had gone.
“Dude Zamo caused drama when you left. It’s a good thing that you left because she wanted to fight again. When you left the bathroom she came after you and she even had a knife imagine!”
Katlego told me. That took me by surprised but one thing I had learned is that whenever a person loses a fight, they will try use anything to gain an advantage.
“But Katlego you saw I did not start that fight? Should I just have stood there and let her beat me up?”
I asked her and she agreed with me that she had started but added that I might have gone over the top.
“It’s a good thing no one heard. I think it’s better you sleep there so she can cool off because I don’t think you being here is the wisest thing to do!”
I wanted to remind her that I was not scared of her but that knife part took me by surprise. I was not ready to defend myself from knives.
“She came with a knife. Are you serious?”
I said out loud. I had heard her the first time but I wanted to say it out for the simple purpose that I needed Zethu to hear it. This would make it simpler for me to sleep over. Ever since I had come to Jhb I had only slept in my room and that’s it. I was actually excited. All the other girls did it except me. I was not a liker of things that much I am certain of but it did feel bad to be left out of things.
“Your guy called again. I told him that you were with Zethu but I did not give her numbers even though he asked. I will give you his though this way you can decide. If you are to give him please make sure that you ask her first.”
She said reminding me about our afternoon incident.
“Thanks again we will talk!”
I told as we hung up the phone.
“You should sleep over tonight. I overheard what you guys spoke about and Katlego is right. Sleep over here and tomorrow we will figure it out.”
She said and that was that. I did not even get to do my work as we ended up talking until the wee hours of the morning. Like Katlego she also had wine meaning we were drank again. We decided that it was best for me to go to campus from there and after class as I finished before her she would find me at her place. The trust this girl had for me was crazy. What if I came back and robbed her? In my first lecture I did all my assignments which were due today as I had failed to do them later. In the afternoon after class I went back to Zethu’s place as we had planned and I passed out. She only came back after five and she was wearing her lab coat. Medical students look so cool to be honest.
“Mfethu Ada called me hey…”
She started to tell me and immediately I cut her off and said,
“I did not give her your numbers!”
She laughed at me and said her man gave her making me breathe a huge sigh of relief because after the Katlego fight I did not need any more drama.
“What did he want?”
I asked her now that I knew I was not guilty of yet another crime against a friend.
“I don’t know. He said he is going to come see you here after 6 but I told him that I can only confirm with you after I got back!”
I really did not feel like seeing him.
“Can’t we just postpone him because I am really not in the mood for him.”
I told her and she responded that it was up to me. She was just the messenger. I had not even responded when her phone rang. It was him. I wanted her not to pick up but she said it would be rude.
I said to him.
“I am outside your friends building and I can’t stay long. Please come out!”
He asked me. This guy was so presumptuous to show up her like this. I hung up the phone and said to Zethu,
“You knew he was already here didn’t you?”
Because she had this naughty grin on her face.
“I am sorry friend I could not lie it’s not my string suit. He asked me and I told her I would be back at 5. At 5 he called and I told him I was on my way back and you would be here. I am sorry!”
She apologized and hug me. This guy was everywhere and I did not want him here. He had already caused me to be in a fight. I went downstairs grumpily. I found him in his car and this time I went to the passenger sit as opposed to the driver window.
“How are you?”
He asked me.
I told him.
He asked me.
“Well I don’t know what you told your friend Abedi but yesterday Zamo physically attacked me over it and now I had to defend myself. Now I risk being kicked out of residence because of it. Ada I can’t afford not to stay on campus!”
I told him and burst into tears. It was not planned at all and I could see he did not know what to do.
“I am sorry. I told him that she was bad for him as he has a toxic personality and together they will bring each other down. I am sorry they dragged you into this!”
He said but I was not listening. I needed a good cry as it was actually stressing me.
“Do you realize how much you have ruined my life and I never said anything. This is bad for me because I am not]t like other kids I don’t have luxury options!”
I told him.
“I am really sorry. I am running behind time. I have an emergency back in Nigeria and my flight is in three hours I really have to go. I promise you I will fix this when I come back!”
He said to me by way of reassurance. Wow run away. I was certain this was the last time I would ever see him again.
“This is for you!”
He said in what I assumed was my promised fake birthday present. As I was crying I did not look inside the gift back but I said thank you. I was really sad. He did not stay longer and indeed I walked back up to her room. When I got there she was waiting for me and the first thing she asked me was what was in the bag.
I told her but she would not hear it. She insisted immediately that we must open it and because I was curious too I definitely agreed.
“Oh My God!”
I exclaimed when I saw what was inside. Even she was shook by it as she said out loud,
“iPhone 5, Retail Value R10799 because it’s a 64GB model!”
At that moment I could have fainted.