Women get offended when you accuse a celebrity they love of something she did even
when it’s a well known contemporary fact. I would not be the first woman lying about the paternity of my children as it is a well known thing that whilst men lie all the time, women make the lies that matter. It was not a low dig at a celebrity that I used when I mentioned Miss Mdoda; it is a well known and publicized fact in mainstream media. That’s the reality of South Africa. I am a big fan of hers and I am told women stick together so there, I was led! If those people could lie about kids then so could I right? The thought made me want to laugh because crazy as it sounded there was logic to it. I had caused the fight between Azwindini and Rudzani which had led to his death. I had accepted the blame for this personally because vele I had done this so me sacrificing myself to Mbilahelo would be penance for my sins. My twins would have a father and it’s not like I was doing it for his money, I had my own. Need to call Nthabiseng though today because I must now fix my things.
“Lungi don’t do it!”
I screamed to myself out loud just so I could hear it for myself. I was being crazy thinking such things. As I drove into my estate I noticed Ntheteng standing outside.
“Ntheti my love!”
I called out to her cheerfully when I saw her. I waved at her but she looked down and immediately walked into the house.
“Ok what’s that about?”
I asked myself. I was not going to be bothered by a child giving me attitude. I did not have energy to carry my bags in so I decided that I would leave that for later. I got into my flat and the first thing I did was run a bath. It was so refreshing.
“What did you say you wanted to do?”
I asked myself as I switched on the TV.
They had switched off my DSTV and this was the first time it has ever happened to me.
I asked myself as it clicked now what I had said I would do. I called Nthabiseng because this was not the life that I wanted. I had lots of money but when money is frozen into accounts that you cannot use its more painful than anything you can ever imagine.
“Hey, just the person I was looking for!”
She said as soon as I picked up the phone.
“I have been trying to call you since last night where have you been?”
She asked me.
“Hey yourself. I thought I told you I was going for a funeral in Thohoyandou. So much happened but will tell you later firstly why were you looking for me?”
I asked her.
“Ah come on you know we are going to forget to talk about it later as usual but ok!”
She said to me.
“I am glad you are back regardless. I am trying to keep your case out of court and get some kind of settlement out of this! This is not to say you are guilty of their wrongdoing but the problem with taking anything to court, especially a black woman against a well respect private company chances of you winning it are often greatly reduced!”
She explained to me.
“Are you saying because I am black I can lose a case?”
I asked her very surprised.
“It’s not something we like talking about in the legal sector but race is a factor whether we like it or not!”
She told me. Sometimes I wonder why we bother saying we are free and independent because reality is that we are not as we are owned by other people’s kids.
“You are not inspiring confidence right now!”
I told her and really she was not. I know how South Africa works as I came from corporate but this sounded like a stretch to me.
“I am sorry for that but as a responsible lawyer I have to tell you the facts. I am sure that even as an outsider you have seen how crimes are not given the same sentences even when they are similar!”
She told me. I was not really thinking that far ahead.
“So what needs to happen to keep it out of court?”
I asked her.
“Those are the legal things don’t worry about it. Please make time and come to the office on Tuesday so that we start pushing this thing. I don’t see why your funds should be frozen as you are not a named partner of your former company. They are using you as a scapegoat and I think that’s one of the reasons why we can keep it out!”
She explained to me. I think I understood what she was saying. I just wanted a semblance of normalcy now.
“I am looking for a job Nthabiseng! I don’t think I can survive another month sitting at home!”
I told her and I realized that I had to get a job now before my pregnancy made any company have second thoughts on me. Pregnancy is treated like a disability when you go for job interviews that much is certain.
“I don’t understand why you are not taking up Simba’s offer! You told me you rejected that interview he sat up for and honestly I don’t see why you would do that!”
She told me. I know what she was saying but at that time I needed a break now I felt differently. Back in Thohoyandou when Mbilahelos aunt had asked about me I just felt like a loser not being able to say I have a job. That was not who I was.
“You reckon I should take it? I don’t want him to think that he owns me because he did me a favor! You know how men are, if they do something for you they always find a way of making you pay for it!”
I reminded her but truth be told that was a weak argument. I was making excuses when I needed to get my life back in shape.
“I don’t get you though friend because it’s not like you don’t like him! No actually I am wrong, Lungi what’s going on with you? One day it’s Simba, the next Mbuso then Mbilahelo and when the mood suits you its Sfiso?”
She asked me. You know as a girl you need that one friend who is brutally honest with you and does not hide their thoughts! To a large extent Nthabiseng was that friend. She was brutally honest with you even when it was uncomfortable.
“I am so confused Nthabiseng I don’t know who to settle for!”
I told her with a sigh at the end.
“Nonsense! You do know you just like the attention coming from different guys and its wrong! It’s stopping you from moving on with your life and now your life looks stuck!”
She told me and she was right too.
“You know the problem is when the devil fails to get you he sends you a boyfriend! I am really scared of getting my heart broken and you know how these men are. They don’t respect women long enough for it to be special. They give you glimpses of what they can do but always put half the effort when it matters. That’s the painful thing and I don’t want to go all in for a man who will let me down!”
I confided in her. When it comes to relationships breaking up was not my biggest fear but being undermined. Once upon a time women use to kneel as a sign of respect when they gave food to their husbands. It was meant to be a sign of respect and that was considered normal. I saw how Venda women respected men and I was not about to lie on the ground just to show that I respected my man but the culture is like that. Venda plus Zulu was like putting salt in tea I felt. We were very far apart.
“Here is a thought Lungi, all these men you know are clearly lacking something otherwise you will have settled for one. How about I hook you up with someone I know for a fresh start?”
She asked me. Ok I know a lot of people ask to be hooked up but I was one of those who genuinely hates that. You are hooked up with other people rejects and I am not a fan of that.
“Who is this guy that you have never mentioned before?”
I asked her laughing.
“I am a lawyer, I meet many guys …”
She started to say but I cut her off,
“I definitely don’t want a lawyer, no offense but men in your profession are liars!”
I told her and she understood my joke because she laughed at that. She had to go though and soon after she hung up. I was left with the silence of my flat. With my bank accounts frozen I could not pay for DSTV and I did not want to ask my sister to do it for me because then I would owe her. There was a knock at the door at this moment which jerked me out of these thoughts. I switched off the TV stood up.
I said when I opened the door and realized who it was.
“Come in please!”
I told him as there was a bit of a cold breeze at this moment.
“No its ok I am not coming in.”
He said softly but sternly.
“Dude its cold why you being dramatic?”
I asked him with a smile on my face.
“Its ok I am not staying long. I just wanted to tell you that Ntheteng won’t be coming over anymore. I think its best we put a bit of distance between us you know!”
He said to me.
“A bit of space? Why what’s wrong?”
I asked him very much surprised by this.
“Lungi I liked you and that did not work out. I then liked your sister and she went back to her husband. The problem is I am confusing my daughter and it is not fair on her at all.”
“That’s a little extreme though don’t you think?”
I asked him.
“Its extreme yes but I have to do what’s best for her. I don’t want a child who will grow up thinking her father slept around with many women because at the end of the day she already is confused as to who I am seeing.”
He explained. I think I could understand where he was coming from but it just felt odd that all of a sudden he had cut me off. Was I really the problem?
“I am sorry. Please by all means stay away from my daughter…”
He said as he took a step back.
And he turned and walked to his apartment. I had just been dumped by a man who was not my boyfriend and what I did not get was why it actually hurt so much.
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)
Good morning to you and all the readers.
Eish guys I am bewitched by this demon of cheating. I am 25 years old and I have never been faithful to one guy since I think when I started dating. I date a guy and after a few months I start getting bored no matter what. I start entertaining conversations with other guys and eventually I cheat. All the people I have dated tend to fall for me which is a lot and I can’t stop myself from hurting them. About 6 months ago I met a really nice man. He is 31, has a good job and is a praying man. He is very stable and worships the ground I walk on. I like this guy a lot but the demon is back. When he started talking about lobola for the end of the year I just switched off. I was excited for a second then panic set in. Is it normal for a woman to have fear of commitment? I don’t come from a broken home and I have never had my heart broken so why am I like this. He has introduced me to his family, I am his profile picture on everything, I do his budget on his salary as he is rather bad with money and now he wants me to move out of home. He says I must leave alone for a few months to experience true independence before we move in together. I have only been working for 2 years so I can barely afford a place but he says he will pay. I don’t know what to do not because I am stupid but because I know I cheat a lot. I need help guys. Is there rehab for such a thing?
Help me please before I screw up my life.