YES 219

Posted on Posted in Young Employed and Single

If you have ever heard someone say that they love funerals that person is a witch!

Oh yes I said and I will say it again. What’s there to love when people are crying and besides themselves? It’s something that’s just not done so the thought of going to bury not one but two people was totally devastating. They start early this side but even at 7am I cannot avoid how hot it was. It’s crazy though. My sister and I arrived very early because by 7am we were there. It was crazy because I now had to look for her family to figure out what was happening. You know we hear all these horror stories about Limpopo but for a province that is said to be so poor I could not find fault with anything I had seen. Jhb is worse with all its informal settlements and don’t even let me get on rural KwaZulu Natal because here we were driving some of rural Limpopo and I was honestly stunned. My sister did not even make snide comments when we drove into Thohoyandou.

“These houses, how do these people even afford them?”

She asked me.

When you think of Thohoyandou, the name makes you think that it’s some backward place but seeing these mansions made my judgmental self and sister realize living in Jhb paying 8000 for a 3 bedroom flat which does not even have a yard the fools are us not people here.

“Simple really, think of all the high posts in Gauteng, it’s mostly Limpopo people. Even in university there were a lot of students from this area who were pretty smart. I am not surprised but I won’t lie I did not expect it to be this good!”

I told her. The directions were simple enough and before long we had arrived at the funeral. It was packed and I say this with humility but it was really full.

“Do you think they are having one funeral?”

My sister asked seeing that was one huge marquee set up. There were hundreds of people and it was only 7am.

“Clearly but this is odd!”

I told her. Their daughter had killed the man next door basically and now they were trying to bury them together. It was not normal.

“I need to go find her mother before it becomes impossible!”

I told my sister. I called the number that had called me yesterday as it was still on the phone. Someone else picked up and it was a younger person than the one yesterday.

“Sister Lungi I was waiting for your call.”

The lady said which was rather relieving because I did not have to explain myself.

“Yes. I just arrived.”

I told her.

“We are at the church. It’s not far from the house!”

She told me.

“I have made arrangements for you to be directed here!”

She told me. I was not late I promise but the fact that even before 7am they were at church seemed rather odd.

“What car are you driving?”

The lady asked me. I told her and within five minutes a young boy came to direct us to the church. He was not so young, maybe about 15 years old so I asked him,

“Why do you have the church so early?”

I don’t think he knew all the answers but it was odd.

“There are two funerals so there are many speakers. This is why it was early. We all go to one church around here and we grew up here!”

He told us. I wanted to ask if it was correct that she be buried in the church considering what she had done but I think that was above my pay grade.

“.Y cousin says she will come out outside to meet us!”

The boy said when we arrived. We parked and walked out of the car. There were not as many cars as I thought at the church but I think this was because they had parked at the house. The house was I think a mere ten minute walk so people had walked there.

“Oh my God!”

I exclaimed when she came out, the cousin that is.

“What’s wrong?”

My sister asked me.

“The way she looks like Rudzani is quite unnerving. It’s like it’s her in front of me!”

I told her. It was like I had just seen a Ghost or someone was mocking me. The guilty and emotions just swamped me at that moment and the tears followed.

“A lot of people thought they were twins growing up and even people who arrived yesterday thought it was her!”

The small boy said to us. His name was Nelson by the way. The tears just started coming out at that moment as I went to her.

“Ah sister Lungi don’t cry!”

The young lady said trying to console me. She had no idea that I was crying because I had failed miserably to protect her cousin.

“I can’t help it. Rudzani is supposed to be here with us and yet we are burying her!”

I told her. I maintain that I had no grudge against her because I know what had happened to her and how I had played a role.

“We all loved her and we a still shocked as to what happened but she is with God now and she can rest!”

The cousin said thoughtfully. I was the one who was supposed to be comforting her but it was the other way round.

“I saw a picture of Azwindini, are you having one funeral I don’t understand?”

I asked her.

“Yes we are. We are neighbors and have lived next to each other for decades even.”

She explained.

“I know it’s surprising. We put our differences aside. These two grew up together and we have enough problems of our own to fight about this. I remember Azwindini when we were kids; he used to come steal mangoes from the trees in the back and go sell them!”

She told me and I could hear the fondness in her voice.

“Yes it makes sense!”

I told her but to be honest no it did not make sense. How did you bury the murderer and the murdered together? I guess people out there are more civilized than I am.

“Unfortunately you are speaking very soon so we have to get in. My aunt is really grateful for you doing this. You know when such things happen people disappear and stop being your friends. No one wanted to speak for her and that really hurts!”

She told me. I could understand what she was saying.

“Its ok, I am here now!”

I was not one for public speaking but at this moment I was not scared. I had something to say and I was going to say. I entered the church and sat with the family. It was not long before they called me.

“Thank you for allowing me this honor to speak on behalf of a remarkable amazing kind person. My name is Lungile Mbatha and Rudzani and I were friends and colleagues. I remember the first time that Rudzani came to the office. Two little black girls in a big firm full of white people. She was so shy and polite I remember having to beg her to open her mouth to speak more…”

I started my speech. It was not a written down speech and I spoke from the heart. I cried as I spoke and it moved people. When I was done and I sat down I still felt as though I had not done her enough justice. Mbilahelo also spoke.

We buried them both in side by side graves at 9am that morning. I remember how still the morning air was. I don’t think I remember birds singing or butterflies about. It was still. They were with God now.

After the funeral we went to the house. My sister refused to eat she said she does not trust funeral food. I ate. I could not be seen to be proud under these circumstances.

“Please come greet the parents!”

The girl said to me. I had not met them yet because it was so crowded. Now was the moment of truth. I had to pay my respects to people who I am sure knew I had something to do with this.

“Lungi my child thank you so much for coming!”

The mother said when I entered. Immediately she stood up and she hugged me. I had expected a handshake. I noted that Azwindini’s mother was not there it was her family only.

“I am glad I came. This is all too much to bear. I am so sorry for the role I played in all this.”

I told her.

“Its ok my child. Some things are Gods will and this too shall come to pass.”

The mother told me.

“Please tell us what truly happened because her letter did not say much!”

She asked me. I was not sure if it was trick question and even if it was I was ready to answer.

“The truth is we never slept together. Azwindini came to Joburg the day that she went to Cape Town. He had nowhere to sleep because his money was clearing the following day. I told Rudzani and she asked if he could sleep at my place!”

I told the mother.

“Bad mistake. When she came back a week or so later they had a fight and it turned out that to hurt her within the context of the fight he said things that can hurt a woman!”

My nose was getting bigger.

“It hurt her, it hurt her a lot and by the time she confronted me already she was certain it had happened. Imagine I had met Azwindini the very same day so how would I have even slept with him?”

I asked them but no one answers. Their tears did the talking for them as they put two and two together.

“I begged her but she would not listen. I begged him and he took it back from her but she was now certain. She forgave him as she always did!”

I told them.

“See why I say men are trash! He made two women fight yet walked away with the girl. Azwindini was stupid! We all used to warn her about him but no! Now look!”

The sister said but some aunt cut in,

“Stop it! We don’t speak ill of the dead!”

She said but the sister did not stop!

“No aunty, the truth must come out! She was educated yet she died like a dog! Why? Because you taught her to worship a man that always made her cry! Now you sit there and act like we all didn’t know that he was bad for her? We all knew and we did nothing!”

She said angrily silencing her aunt. It was like she had stabbed her shem because I really doubt the aunt had expected to be talked back to.

“I am really sorry for the part I played. I loved her like a sister and we were close too!”

I told them. They cried some more.

I lied.

I lied to save her and me from the truth.

I lied so that I could get out of there alive I suppose.

I lied because the mother was standing there looking for answers I could not give.

Am I ashamed of it, maybe but at that moment it felt like it was the right thing to do and say?

“Thank you for telling me this. I needed to know!”

Her mother said to me. I stood up and went outside. I felt like the whole world could see me for the evil person that I was but for now this family needed peace and if this could give them peace so be it.

“Lungi!”

I heard a voice behind me.

“Hi!”

I said turning around.

It was Mbilahelo.

“My family would like to meet you!”

He said.

I had run out of lies but because I already knew his mother I could not say no. We went to his house but instead of going inside the house we went to where men were sitting.

“I don’t know how you do it in KZN but please kneel when you get there to show respect!”

He told me.

African Culture honestly will have us women as servants and subservient.

“Ok then!”

I told him.

“Vho makhadzi, hoyu ndi ene wanga! Ndi ene maloti wavho hoyu!”

He said and immediate ululation.

What the fuck had just happened? I had no idea what he had said but I know the word Makoti and I know when people ululate!

What had he done?

***********The End***********

@diaryofazulugal
Michaelnkululekomaphoto (Instagram)
Mike@diaryofazulugirl.co.za

Dear Mike

Thank you for the opportunity.

I am a 23 year old guy and I work in a supermarket. It’s not for lack of ambition I am paying rent and for UNISA. I walk to work and to be fair it’s about a 45 minute walk so it’s not too far. I barely have r450 to my name after I am done but that’s not the problem. The reason why my life is like this is that when I was 17 I made an 18 year old girl pregnant. We were not even dating nor were we in love. She was a girl I knew from my neighborhood and there was a party. I got a bit drunk and I spoke to her next thing we had sex. I used a condom but the thing broke maybe because of over eagerness I don’t know as I was a virgin. She gave me the condom even. The following day I went to buy morning after for her and she said she took it. A few weeks later she said she was pregnant and asked me what I wanted to do with the baby. I told her that we were both young so there was no way I could have this baby. She agreed. For two months I asked her every single day if she had done it and she kept postponing. I begged her to get rid of it because we were both not ready but eventually she kept it. She admitted she threw away the morning after. She told me never to see her child because I didn’t want it and vele I did not and I still don’t. At home they found out about the pregnancy just before my Matric exams because girl showed up with baby in hand because she wanted pampers and funny things. I was so stressed I wrote my exams and barely passed. I told her never to come to my house because I had begged her not have this child. She told me that I was being shit role model and deadbeat which I wore immediately because again I told her I did not want the child from day one. I never ever entertained the thought of us having a child. My grandmother whom I lived with kicked me out because of making a baby and for a year I slept from friends place to friends until I overstayed my welcome. I eventually got connected and I got a job at a car wash until one of my ex teachers saw me. She took me to a cousin of hers who worked for one of the big supermarkets and I got a job. I got a room and applied for school now here I am. The baby mama took me to maintenance and even though I expressly told the magistrate the circumstances of this child being born in the first place and how much I did not want it even now I still have to pay. The judge called me a bad evil man and the trash she hates. No one even considered that I did not want this child and I have never hidden that. Shap I start paying now she is telling me the child wants to see because a child needs a father!

I am forced to love a child I did not want from a woman I never once told I loved. I am forced to raise a child because when she could have gotten rid of the child as the law permits meaning it is not evil she lied every day until she gave birth. I am forced to pay maintenance to the person who ruined her life and mine because she could not take a decision when it was needed.

One day I will have children with someone that I love and I will love those kids with everything I have but this woman and her child have no part in my heart. You can judge me for this but if no means no for a woman, if a man also does not want a child from conception were every precaution was taken then he should not be punished for it.

Thank You

Lazarus

31 thoughts on “YES 219

  1. Laz laz laz, there’s no compassion in your letter. You blame your hardship to the woman and her child. You gotta take this with a pinch of salt. You wanted to have sex with a girl for the sake of your blood. Man tend to think it’s the most easiest thing for a woman to do just terminate there’s fear regret confusion. In your letter you have absolutely no consideration that she too was young as you are but since it’s all about you and only you this is the mentality we guys suffer from. Firstly it’s your child, you are the father that child. Both you and her were 17/18 think about it man, why are you the only one whose life is ruined, what of her? What about your sperm that has turned into a human? why you not seeing their suffering? Take it from me as a guy, you full of shit man and this is sickening how we guys entitle ourselves to what we want and only us must get what we want. You sound like if they were to die you will be glad because it’s less trouble for you and all of this has your name in it. Don’t confuse love with responsibility. It’s your responsibility as a man or a guy who had sex at his teen life and have a baby, u somehow claim to be the only victim. Take care of that child and go find love and stop this nonsense that you were done wrong by a teen girl of 18. You want to find another woman to love you and give you kids that you will love unconditionally and yet you can’t do the most honorable thing and man up to your past actions. Nigg* please

  2. I don’t agree with Hola7, why must the man be held responsible for a woman’s bad decisions. Do you have any idea how many countries are fighting for the pro choice route? If a woman has the sole right to terminate a pregnancy even if the guy wants it then she has the right to keep the baby and take sole car of it. Her legs opened to him and she was not forced. He begged her to terminate she not only lied at first but refused in the end. Now you want to call him trash when the going gets tough because it’s the easy way out. As women we too make bad decision yet it’s easier to blame men. Lazarus I am with you

    1. @Linda, I am not calling him trash but his actions towards his child is uncold for. You must also consider that his problem was not done in his adult life but on his teen stage. So I have no issue him resenting the mother and there’s no love whatsoever however it’s his kid. How many souls must come to earth n never have identity or least care. There was a video doing rounds about similar issue where the son is introducing himself to the father and the father was adamant that he told the mother to abort it was fun but how should we have a nation of heros and black excellence where even the fathers can’t be responsible? Treat this issue from the start when they were 17/18 he choose a wrong woman to sleep with and he wants to take it out on the poor child of which it’s his. Rule 1 don’t sleep with anyone who you not prepared to face consequences with that rule is still important. This will teach boys to stop doing silly things but apply themselves. He too has a responsibility to help his own off spring. We can’t brew a nation of lost souls while we witness to guys having all the rights in life. Next thing this kid will be send pillar to post being told your ancestors are crying for you or not happy etc. have you noticed that kids whom their parents were constantly involved they don’t go to graves asking help from ancestors. They seek help to their parents. Laz must accept he is a father and his kid is alive and do all the best he can. Girls are murdered out there because guys give themselves all the entitlement so is Laz in this situation.

    1. Let me try with my poor Venda “Aunty this is the one, she’s you Makoti” is like introduction to the aunt

  3. Lazarus

    As a woman I know how cruel we can be, deep down I don’t think is your baby. And she kept on lying. When she slept with you she knew she was pregnant or suspected that she is, maybe with older guy so you were a coverup from the beginning.
    Please try to save money or get a loan and do paternity test, as much as you don’t want the baby but you need to be sure that you are the father. Maybe after the test you’ll change your mentality about the child.
    I’m sorry that you have to go through this in life but make sure is not a trap you’re the father. Imagine after 20 years you find out you’ve been maintaining someone’s child and forced to do so. And if he’s your child try harder to be a present father as every child deserves to be loved. You know how difficult it is for women to raise rape children but they do and they’re reminded every day that they got raped when looking at the children but they love them still.

    Keep on studying my guy despite the circumstances, education will surely change your life. Is not how you start in life but how you end, important part is to start and you’ve already done that. All the best

    1. I totally agree with you miss T. I mean what are the chances of this child not being Laz’s child? Firstly the girl is the one who provided the condom which turned to broke, coincidence? Maybe, maybe not. Secondly the guy bought the morning after pills for this girl, still she did not take them, I guess the logic question to ask ourselves is why wouldn’t she take them? Was is it because she knew she was already pregnant? We will never know. Thirdly he asked her to terminate the pregnancy yet she laid about it till the end. I really smell fish here, so my guy take a loan get DNA test done for you to have a peace of mind.

  4. Lazarus my guy, the world has turned pro-female in anything and everything. I guess most of it is duly deserved because of the vicious history of patriarchy. Alas, you’ve been dealt a hard hand dear sir. Your story sounds all to shady, save up a few of your pennies and get a DNA test done. Woman, as much as they are are good and kind, some are the ultimate devil’s toenails. Beyond deplorable with absolutely no conscience.

    Which 18 year old refuses to drink morning after pills, cum on, she even “shows you” the broken condom… Alarm bells — trap alert!!! The kid might not even be yours. In your days of worrying you probably even forgot to do the maths from conception to birth. I’m not a betting person but if you went under close observation, the “healthy baby” brought to your grandparents could have been termed a preemie. WOMEN! some anyway… ai ku rough.

    Get your facts and conscience sorted, if the child is indeed yours be sure you are definitely certain you want nothing to do with them because there’s nothing more turbulent than a mushroom parent to come cause unnecessary confusion in a child’s life. The mom took away your right to choice but the child played no part in the decision making so leave them out of it.

    Good luck sir, continue with your hustle. Till this day I fail to understand women who behave in this manner. The decision to parent seems to be solely for the mother, to hell with the father’s wishes I guess.

  5. I agree with Linda, however I also do not think this is your baby. Do the DNA test and see. I know these days it’s not only lancet that do tests but also a company called DNA test from utatakho- they are way cheaper than the blood result route. If the baby is yours then I suggest you put yourself in your child’s shoes and how she/he feels and will feel as time goes on.

    Thank you Mike,but this is not right -you left us for weeks on the most intriguing story and oy do one post when you get back. Nha Mike. Think about us the addicts. I’m glad you’re ok though- you had us worried there.

  6. Laz,
    financially, you are legally obliged to take care of the child. but morally, you are not obliged to have a relationship with the child. But I hope you one day get over the anger and find it in your heart to accept this innocent soul, after all you brought it here. irrespective of the circumstances that led you here today.

  7. I’m with Miss T on this one , Laz please make sure that’s your child . Some women are cruel and are only trying to cover themselves up . Please get a partenity test done and if you’re the father just love the child , he/she has done nothing wrong in this . It’s the mothers fault

  8. Mike is treating us like sidechicks now..disappear for long weekend and then boom month end he is back without any explanation

  9. Kwaaaaaaa passive. Then gone again. Lol. I feel like that girl that’s always nagging for attention. Love you regardless Mike.
    *Side chick tendencies already,lol*

  10. Welcome back Mike 😌

    I am a lady but I agree with Lazarus. No one should be forced to be a parent because it’s a lifetime responsibility. Now he is affected, so is the child, all because the woman chose to keep the baby. I respect that decision but she should take care of the baby alone and not force a man who expressed through the condom through the morning after pill and the arbortion requests that he doesn’t want to be a father. We should really not force anyone into being a parent.

  11. Lazarus doesn’t need to pay for paternity out of his own pocket. he can go to the maintenance court and request for a paternity test where the State will pay for it.

  12. Lazarus do a paternity test and if de child is yours jst kip on supporting him/her neva turn ur back on a child.dat child is a victim they didnt ask for all of dis

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